Three fewer Gorilla Mouths!

When I was a kid my dad used to say- "Don't let your Bulldog mouth overload your Canary ass."  My high school football coach said the same thing, just with slightly different lingo. His was- "Don't let your Gorilla mouth write checks that your Hummingbird ass can't cash."  People do this with cars all the time. Here's a few examples that I thought readers might find entertaining. Gorilla Mouth # 1 Drove a crewcab SRT-10 Dodge Pickup. For those of you that don't know. it's a four-door Dodge Ram pickup with a Viper motor stuffed in it. Yes, they are unbelievably fast for a truck. The key phrase being "For a truck." The engine may have 480 hp, but the truck weighs 5,700 lbs!  Anyway this Gorilla mouth was always saying his truck could beat my brother's GTO in a drag race. Without giving the whole laundry list, my brother's GTO easily has 425 hp, ( yes, we have dyno'd it, I'm not pulling that figure out of the sky ) and weighs 3731 pounds. You do the math. With almost the same amount of power, nearly a 2000 lb weight advantage, and better traction, ( try to launch a pickup with a lot of power without frying the tires )  my brother ran off and left him. The guy was destroyed. I mean you'd have thought his dog died or something.  Gorilla Mouth # 2 Had a 2008 SRT8 Hemi Charger. He bragged about all the Mustangs he'd "Eaten for lunch." The SRT8 Chargers have a 425 hp Hemi, and I don't doubt that he dusted many a 90's "5.0" ( 225 hp ) or even many 2005-2009 GT's ( 300hp.) However the Charger weighs 4140 lbs. When he arrogantly challenged a guy in a new Shelby Mustang- ( Which has 540 hp from its Supercharged 5.4 V8, and weighs about 3,500 lbs ) I knew he was in trouble. He even bet the guy in the Mustang $500 bucks. It wasn't even close. The guy in the Charger was speechless as he handed over 5 Franklins to the Mustang driver, who asked- "Didn't you ever hear that song- "You don't tug on Superman's cape..."  Gorilla Mouth # 3 had a 416 hp Lexus ISF. He Challenged a guy in a 2008 Corvette. Again, the Lexus was ungodly fast for a sedan, but it weighs about 3,800 lbs. The Vette had 428 hp, and weighed about 3,200. Do the math. Vette 1, Rice-Rocket, 0.  Like Jim Croce sang in that famous song- "Find out where it's at, not hustling people strange to you that you don't know..."  Mastermind.