A tough choice of Blue Oval muscle.......

My brother is thinking very seriously about getting a new Mustang. He's torn between a Shelby GT350R and a Roush Stage 3. The Roush would be the "King Kong" drag racer with 675 hp on tap-a Hellcat fighter for sure. The Shelby is a better balanced package overall. We'll be checking them both out and I'll post about what decision he makes and why. I've driven a Roush Stage 3 and they are definitely "Jule's Wallet" from Pulp Fiction. I'd like to drive a GT350 and compare. Anyhow I'll let everyone know how the search goes. Otherwise Happy New Year to everyone.....Mastermind

An F14 fighter jet is an airplane....But it's not something you'd fly 100 people to Hawaii in...

Got a bunch of the usual flack about the post stating that 7 and 8 second cars weren't street machines, but race cars with liscence plates. "Go buy a Camry you pussy if you want a smooth idle."  Real adult stuff like that. Anyhow-I'm here to say that I personally and my friends have had some badass rides. My GTO had 12:1 compression, a cam with 337 duration and .575 lift, two 750 AFBs on an Offenhauser dual-quad manifold,Hooker headers and it was backed by a Rock-Crusher 4-speed and a 12-bolt posi rear with 4.33:1 gears and Lakewood ladder bars. Rear tires were Hot-n-Sticky N50X15 Mickey Thompsons. I had an 11.79 time slip from a strip in California. Yes, it was brutally quick. Yes, I loved it.  It also got 5-8 mpg while needing two cans of octane booster per tankful and the motor buzzing at 4,000 rpm on the freeway didn't really make for a nice commute to work. My '73 Hurst / Olds and my '77 Trans-Am weren't nearly as fast but they were a lot easier to drive on a daily basis. A friend had a Cobra Replica with a blown big-block Chevy in it. It was ungodly fast-the first time he ran it on the track it ran something like 9.90 in the 1/4-( 500+hp in a 2,300 lb body will do that ) and he got kicked off the track for not having a full cage and a driveshaft safety loop-which most tracks require on anything quicker than 11.50. However-it oveheated if it idled for more than two minutes, you had to crane your neck to the left to see around the blower to drive, driver's and passengers alike burned their legs on the sidepipes getting in and out, and about every fifth run the Jag rear end would spit out a half-shaft and it would have to be towed home. As this demonstrates-anything is drivable depending on what the driver is willing to tolerate. But to qualify as a "Street Machine" like I said in the previous post-you ought to be able to drive 150 miles without stopping for gas,enter or exit a sloping driveway without denting the oil pan or the exhaust system,idle in 90 degree heat for ten minutes without overheating and drive 10 mph over the posted speed limit on a curvy road in the rain. You know things that a 15 year old Honda Accord or a 20 year old Buick LeSabre can do!!  If you want to drive some fire-breathing monster go ahead. But don't try to convince the rest of us that it's as comfortable a daily driver as your neighbor's Chrysler 300.  Mastermind

Another blast from the past...."Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry" could be updated....

After talking about possible remakes of The "California Kid" and "Thunder Road" someone mentioned "Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry." It's usually on the list of greatest car-chase movies in buff magazines or on the internet. For those who aren't action / car movie buffs-It starred Peter Fonda and Susan George. Fonda was an ex-Nascar driver who with his former crew chief decide ro rob a major supermarket to fund their next attempt to run the Winston Cup circuit. It's largely lumped in with campy stuff like "Eat My Dust" or "Moonrunners" but it actually has a pretty good robbery / kidnapping plot gone wrong and good suspense. There's also some good automotive action early on with Fonda driving a '66 Impala, that they later dump for the Iconic '69 Charger used in the finale. Susan George was smokin' hot in the early '70s-she had the barefoot, halter-top wearing southern slut that men die and kill for down pat. She played Dustin Hoffman's wife in the Sam Peckinpah thriller "Straw Dogs", she played Timothy Bottoms girlfriend in the revenge flick "A Small Town in Texas" and her hot inter-racial love scenes with Boxer Ken Norton in "Mandingo" gave her the same kind of notoriety that Sharon Stone got from "Basic Instinct" years later. Others have tried it-Kim Basinger in "No Mercy", Teri Hatcher in "Heaven's Prisoners" and most recently Reese Witherspoon in "Mud"-but none of them come close to Susie as the bubble-headed Mary or Jennifer Billingsley as the over-sexed "Shake a Puddin'" in "White Lightning". As to whether Susie or Jennifer has the more enticing, sympathetic portrayal of the whore-with-a-heart-of-gold-it's too close to call. Susie was a little more biker bitch, in-your-face-with her sexuality and attitude,going insult for insult with Fonda and his pal while showing her smokin,tanned body in-the skimpy denim halter-top and ultra-tight hip-hugger jeans that barely covered her ass-crack-while Jennifer was more demure- wearing a flowery sundress and running her bare foot up and down Burt Reynolds bicep and cooing-"If you want it Gator, just say so." "If you don't it's ok." That scene causes a "Wayne's World" type "Schwing!" for me every time I see it. Anyway you want to rate them-Susan pretty much had that market cornered in the mid-70's. Vic Morrow-ironically following the role of the Maniacal sheriff in the "California Kid"-is cast here as-guess what? An over-zealous lawman that you feel doesn't want to catch Fonda & crew and send them to jail, he wants to kill them. The fatal crash at the end was used in the opening credits of "The Fall Guy" for years.  Anyhow-the kidnapping / robbery plot would still fly-you'd just have to change the dollar amounts. For cars a Hellcat Charger would be the obvious choice-but you could also use a Camaro SS or a Mustang GT. I'd say use Chris Hemsworth ( "Thor" "The Avengers," "Blackhat" ) in the Peter Fonda role and Scarlett Johansen as Mary. ScarJo wouldn't even have to talk-90 minutes of her barefoot in skimpy jeans and a barely-there halter top would be worth the price of admission. Now if Chris got tired of her bitching and put her bound and gagged in the backseat??!!!!  Ok, sorry getting too close to porn there......But still..... Anyhow I think it could be a big hit.  Mastermind  

A "Thunder Road" redux might fly.....

After the post about the "California Kid" I got some inquirys about other car-chase classics that might benefit from a re-boot to modern times. Obviously "Bullitt" would fly-you just change the dollar amounts that Johnny Ross embezzled and put the records on computer disc. And of course you can use a new Hemi Charger and a new Mustang GT. That's a no-brainer. The one I thought of though that would be better and more original is "Thunder Road."  The original was made in 1958 and starred Robert Mitchum as a Korean war vet who was running Moonshine and fighting not only the Feds but other Moonshiners who were trying to take his territory. I spoke once before about updating it to the Viet Nam era and using late '60's musclecars and also maybe adding drugs and hookers to the mix. That would fly too. However the other day I got an Idea for a modern TR.  Luke Doolin and his buddys can be returning Iraq and Afghanistan vets that live in Washington or Colorado where Marijuana is legal. One of the guys can use his disabled veteran status to get a legal dispensary. They can quickly figure out that they could make HUGE profits by running the weed to neighboring states that aren't so progressive, while flying under the radar with their "legal" business. Soon local law enforcement can find out and want a piece of the action to look the other way. The DEA and the IRS can get interested, as well as gangsters who contol the drug trade in the neighboring states. This will obviously set up great suspense and action. Besides using Chargers and Challengers and Mustangs to elude the law-obviously they want to do business in the winter time too- they could also use Subaru WRX's-all-wheel drive with Blizzak tires would surely haul ass over snowy mountain passes a lot better than Crown Vic or Charger cop cars or even Ford Explorer SUVs that Police agencies use. They could also use 400 hp Ford Raptor 4X4 pickups to make their own roads through the woods. Because of their training in desert and mountain warfare it won't be easy for the law or the gangsters to take them down. I think it would be a badass, unique original story that would be a mega-hit. Especially if the director kept it real. By real-I mean no CGI-just great men doing great things with great cars. And real fight action-no "Matrix" like flying through the air and walking up walls-we'll see-blood and bones breaking, and how a real fight looks-not the usual Hollywood crap of two guys kicking each other in the face for ten minutes and they both look like they just left the barber shop. I think it would be a mega mash if someone did it right. You listening, Quentin Tarantino of Brian De Palma? ( "Carlito's Way" ).  Mastermind      

"Period Correct" Or "Proper Date Coded"....Still isn't original!!!!.......

I see a disturbing trend in the sales of high-end musclecars. By high-end-I mean stuff  that people want over $100,000 for. That's right-the price of a house anywhere but New York or California and it's not original!!. I mentioned in a earlier post that I saw a Shelby Mustang that was for sale for $140,000 and had a "date correct" Police Interceptor engine in it. What that means is the original owner probably put a rod through the side of the block around 1974 and it's been through several Ford engines since-and when this last guy decided to restore it he managed to find a 428 out of an old cop car. This is isn't an isolated example. I've seen several Hemi powered Road Runners, Chargers, and Challengers selling for $80,000 on up. Except their not original Hemi cars. Their 318 or 383 models that someone stuffed a Mopar Performance Crate Hemi in. I saw a '57 Chevy Bel Air that was very nicely done and was selling for $99,000. Yep. Another one for 100K. And it was proudly stated that it had a "period correct" T10 4-speed trans and 283 V8. Except it wasn't "period correct".  Period Correct would be with 1957 date codes. The engine and the trans had 1964 date codes!!  I saw a '69 Trans-Am Convertible for sale for $100,000. Except it's not one of 8 ultra-rare cars. It's a Firebird convertible that someone cloned a T/A out of.  Don't get me wrong-I'm not disparaging the builders or sellers of these cars. They disclosed that the cars weren't original-it's not like their trying to defraud anyone by selling fakes as the real thing. No I'm saying theres way too many people with more money than brains. If I was going to spend six figures on a car-it damn well better be the real deal.  Here's where the term "Buyer Beware" comes into play. Do some research and shop around. If the '69 GTO your buying has a 400 out of a '75 Bonneville in it-that wouldn't be a deal breaker-if the price was under 10 grand. But it should be if someone's selling it for 50 grand!!!!  That's all I'm saying. Mastermind    

More "Gotta Haves" that you don't really need.....

Here's some more tips on getting the most bang for your buck. Like I said in the last post the buff magazines have their way of doing things and often they are giving good advice-if your building an all-out race engine. If your building a street machine that might go to the drags one weekend a month you don't need 3/4 of the "Gotta Haves." Here's a perfect example-a while back one of the major mags-I think it was Hot Rod was chronicling a small-block Chevy buildup. They went down the list-you "gotta have" a 4-bolt main block, a forged steel crank,forged "pink" rods, forged pistons, screw in studs in the heads etc, etc. Their half-right. Yes, if your building a NASCAR Nextel Cup engine that has to go 7,800 rpm for 500 miles at Daytona, you need all the beef you can get. But if your building a street engine that will never see the high side of 6,000 rpm you don't need any of that. In fact-even if your building a circle track "Hobby" stock or "Street Stock" car that won't go over 6,500-your good with standard stuff. Two-bolt main blocks and cast cranks are fine for this kind of use. I would only recommend forged pistons if your were planning to run a blower or nitrous. And then my question would be-if you have that much money and need to go that fast-why aren't you building a 454 instead of a 350?  I know people that have run small-block Chevys in circle track and 1/4 mile drag cars for 20 years that have NEVER had a stud pull out of a head. Hot Rod tested some Trick Flow aluminum heads on a ZZ4 crate engine. If you don't know-the ZZ4 is a 350 V8 rated at 355 hp and 405 lbs feet of torque. What makes it such an awesome street rod or hot rod engine is it makes over 350 ft lbs of torque from 1,800 to 5,200 rpm. They also added a bigger cam and a different intake in the search for more power. Here's the funny thing. The Trick Flow heads cost $1,400, and did net a 40 hp gain-at 6,100 rpm. Now if it's a drag racer or a circle-track car thats run wide-open all the time-that's a worthwhile gain.  However-on the dyno test the "antiquated" factory L98 heads were within 5 hp and 5 lbs ft of torque at every rpm up to 4,700. Now in a daily driver or a street / strip machine how often are you going to be above 4,800 rpm?  And for $1,400 you could buy a carb and intake, a cam kit, a higher-stall converter,some gears-a variety of things that will gain a lot more than 40 hp in a 1,400 rpm window from 4,700-6,100 rpm!! This is not an isolated example. Car Craft tested identical 454 Chevy engines with standard oval port heads and high-performance rectangular port heads. The rectangular port heads did not show a noticeable gain until 6,300 rpm. Now how often are you going to be above 6,200 rpm??  Here's another one-Edelbrock has been very successfull with their Performer and Performer RPM power packages-i.e.-heads, intake and cam. The Performer Pontiac package tested on a 400 makes 387 hp and 439 lbs ft of torque and has 15 inches of vacuum at idle. A perfect street combo-glass-smooth idle and 400 lbs of torque from idle on up. The Performer RPM package-which is basically a replica of the factory RAIV package. It makes 422 hp and 441 lbs ft of torque. However, it only has 10 inches of vacuum at idle and most of the power gain is above 4,500 rpm. Your trading quite a bit of idle quality and low-end  and mid-range torque for top-end rush. Honestly-is a car with 422 hp really going to be that much faster than a car with 387 hp?  Does 35 hp really do that much? Especially when you consider traction,gearing, etc. Before you spend your hard earned dollars just look carefully at how much bang for your buck your getting.  Mastermind    

"Gotta Haves"....That you don't really need if your trying to go fast on a budget...

Even though I sometimes write for the buff magazines It may seem that I'm awfully critical of them. On one hand I love reading them, and I realize it's their job to feature new and innovative things, and to push their advertisers products. That's how they stay in business. On the other hand It seems that every project car they build costs 40 grand or more and has to have state of the art everything. This is discouraging to younger people and those of us with families to support that would like to have a hot rod but can't invest 50 grand in a toy. I'd just like to show that you could build a fun, safe,cool car that runs 12 second 1/4 mile times or is a corner carving "G" machine without breaking the bank. The way to do it is to apply two simple rules of hot rodding-# 1. "Run What You Brung".  # 2. K.I.S.S. ( Keep It Simple Stupid ).  # 1. Is important because a lot of people think you need the latest and greatest and biggest and best of everything. Let's say you buy a '78 Camaro to play with. Yes, if you have the bank account to spend 20K on the engine alone, by all means swap in a 620 hp 572 inch GMPP rat motor or a 638 hp LS9 out of a ZR1 Corvette and enjoy it. If you don't have that kind of budget then you'll have to use the engine that came in the car which is most likely a 350 V8. You can't ask for a better base for a hot rod. There is more speed equipment available for the small-block Chevy than anything else on the planet. Magazines always rebuild their engines from the ground up. You don't have to do that. If the engine in the car runs good, has good oil pressure, doesn't use any oil, and doesn't smoke, why on earth would you spend the time and money pulling it out of the car and rebuilding it?  If you want more power-that's easy. The first two things are bolt-ons. Get an Edelbrock or Weiand performance intake manifold and re-jet the Q-Jet carb that's on the car. Or replace it with a new Edelbrock or Holley carb. Add a set of headers and a good dual exhaust system. These two simple mods will add at least 50-70 hp to your engine without affecting gas mileage or idle quality. In fact-because of the increased efficiency besides the power increase you'll probably get a 2-3 mpg increase in fuel economy. The next thing is mechanical advantage. Chances are, especially if the car has an automatic transmission-that is has Salt-flats gearing like 2.56:1 or 2.73:1. Swapping the 2.56:1 axle ratio for something in the 3.23-3.73:1 range will give you a HUGE increase in acceleration-more than 1/2 a second off your 0-60 and 1/4 mile time without adversely affecting drivability or freeway cruising speed too much. A TransGo or B&M shift kit in the TH350 will further maximize performance. Right now-assuming you can do the labor yourself-you've spent $600 for the carb and intake, $150 for the headers, $ 150 for the gears, maybe $250 for an exhaust system at a muffler shop and $50 for the shift kit. You've only invested $1,200-but I guarantee the improvement in the car's performance is stunning, and you haven't hurt drivability or reliability one ounce. If you want to go faster than that-the next steps would be maybe a hotter cam and slightly higher stall speed torque converter to complement the cam. You'd still be under 2 grand in dollars invested and you probably dropped the 1/4 mile time from somewhere in the 16s to somewhere in the 13s, and the car is still dead-reliable and easy to drive on a daily basis if you want to. If you "gotta" get it in the 12s-an entry-level Nitrous system will yank a 13 second car into the 12s easily, and your still under 3 grand in total investment. It's not sexy-but it's wicked fast and dead-reliable. Even if the engine did need to be rebuilt-Super Chevy built a 400 hp 350 from the ground up using all-new parts and it cost $2,600. Magazine writers spew numbers flippantly-but 400 honest hp will make any street car into an absolute rocket. "Run what you brung" also applies to the transmission, rear end and suspension and brake systems. Let's take our sample Camaro. Chances are it has a TH350 or if it's a 4-speed a Saginaw or Borg-Warner T10. All of those will be perfectly fine behind a 400 hp small-block. You don't need to spend 3 grand on a Richmond or Tremec 5 or 6-speed stick or a tricked-up 700R4 4-speed auto. Why? To say you have it, or to drop 500 rpm at 65 on the freeway?  Ditto for the rear end. The stock 8.5 inch 10 bolt rear will be fine. I have had 400, 4-speed Trans-Ams with this rear and popped the clutch at 4,000 rpm incessantly for five years street racing and drag racing and never broke the rear end. So you don't "need" a $3,000 custom Currie-built 9 inch Ford setup!!!  Ditto for the brakes. I have friends who have autocrossed '70s T/A's and used '70s Camaros and Firebirds in Circle-Track "Street Stock" and "Super Stock" classes and won many races with the stock front disc / rear drum setup. The only modifications needed were going to Bendix or Wagner or Ferodo D52 "Police Spec" semi-metallic pads and using Dot 5 brake fluid instead of Dot 3. With these simple things my buddys Camaro race car's brakes never faded, even in a 50-lap main event on a 1/4 mile or 1/2 mile track!!  So the stock brakes will certainly stop your car safely in daily driving and the occasional weekend trip to the drags!!!  You don't "need" a $3,000 Wildwood or Brembo 4-wheel disc setup worthy of a NASCAR Nextel Cup Champion!!  This brings up # 2....The KISS theory will save you money and grief. For example a lot of the buff mags have been testing and espousing aftermarket fuel injection systems that to me are both worthless and grossly overpriced. Let me be clear here-If your car is Fuel-Injected from the factory-say an '87-'93 "5.0" Mustang or a TPI LB9 or L98 '85-92- Z/28-Edelbrock, Trick Flow and other companies offer larger throttle bodies, ported intakes,larger runners etc that work in conjunction WITH the factory system. These are all worthwhile, reasonably priced upgrades that can add 40 or more hp to your car and stay emissions-legal. I'm talking about complete aftermarket systems for engines that originally had a carburator. These START at $2,000 and that's for a small-block Chevy. For anything other than a small-block Chevy they're over $3,000. You have to hook up oxygen sensors and other monitors, you have to get a laptop computer to program the fuel curve, it's not cheap or simple. And here's the real kicker-they don't make any more power than a simple $600 carb and intake combo. High-Perfomance Pontiac tested one of these systems on a hot 455 Pontiac engine that a staffer had in his '74 Trans-Am. With an Edelbrock Performer "RPM" intake an an 850 cfm Quadrajet the engine made like 469 hp and 544 lbs of torque on the dyno. With the $3,800 fuel injection system-which required using a Ford ECM and adapting a "5.0" Mustang Mass Air Flow sensor and other major mods-it made 455 hp and 505 lbs of torque. Huh?  That's right. The "State of the Art" $3,800 fuel injection system made 14 LESS hp and 39 lbs LESS torque than the "antiquated" $600 carb and intake combo!!!  Think about this-let's say you buy a '78 T/A to play with because you loved "Smokey and the Bandit" as a teenager. For $3,800 you could buy a set of Edelbrock Aluminum Heads,and matching intake, carb and cam, some shorty headers, some 3.73:1 gears and higher stall converter to put the 422 hp and 441 lbs of torque that Edelbrock claims your 400 will make with this package to the ground. Or you could put that fuel injection system on and make 14 hp less than the factory's anemic 220!!!  Gee, which line are you going to be in? This isn't an Isolated example. Take Roller cams for intance. Again-yes if you have a late-model Ford, Chevy or Chrysler V8 that had a roller cam from the factory-yes that is the only way to fly-and the aftermarket roller cams offered by Edelbrock, Trick Flow, Crane, Comp Cams, etc are all excellent. However- Mopar Performance tested a roller cam setup on a hot 440 they were building. Yes, it made like 20 more hp than the flat tappet setup. But the cost of the parts to convert an engine that didn't have a roller setup from the factory was $1,800!!! As opposed to about $300 for your normal cam and lifter kit. For that extra $1,500 you could have bought a lot of stuff that would make you a lot more than 20 peak hp on a dyno!!  The same goes for new-to-old engine swaps. Let's say you have a '68 Nova or a '72 Duster that you want to play with. Going to a junkyard and getting a low-mileage L31 "Vortec" 350 Chevy out of a wrecked '96 and later Chevy or GMC truck or van is a cheap easy, way to get a great performance engine at a low price. Ditto for getting a 318 or 360 "Magnum" engine out of a Dodge Truck or Van or a Jeep Grand Cherokee. Research has shown that the "Vortec" and "Magnum" heads breathe better than any factory head and many aftermarket ones. Now for me-Edelbrock sells carburated Performer intakes that fit the Vortec / Magnum engines for about $200. A new Edelbrock carb is about $350. So for less than $600 you can stuff this motor in you car and have big power for low bucks. Or you could rip the wiring harness out of the donor car or spend big dollars chasing down new stuff to hook up the crank sensors, cam sensor, 02 sensors, ad nauseum to keep it fuel-injected-which will make less power than the carb and intake!! And none of that crap is required to register a '68 Nova or '72 Duster, so Why in hell would you do all that??  Technology is great, but not just for technologies sake. Think carefully about getting the most "bang" for your bucks. That's all I'm saying. Mastermind                        

The "California Kid" redux....It might fly......

Had someone send me a comment the other day about an old post about the "California Kid." If you don't know-the "California Kid" was a made for TV 1974 movie starring Martin Sheen, Vic Morrow and Michelle Phillips. It was set in 1958 and Vic Morrow was an evil small town sheriff who pushed speeders to their deaths with his hopped up cop car. Sheen was a returned Korean War Hero who's brother was killed by Morrow. Sheen's ride was a '34 Ford built by Pete Chapouris that was black with red,yellow and orange flames. The car and it's color scheme is so iconic that when I bought a new Harley-Davidson motorcycle a few years ago-you could pay extra and get a "California Kid" paint job. Anyhow the film was remarkably good by any standard not just TV. It had good acting and dialogue and a lot of suspense as it built to a fight-to-the-finish showdown on a curvy road between Sheen and Morrow. If you can find it on VHS or DVD it's worth gettting. However the conversation got me thinking-Hollywood is always wanting to re-make old classics and this would be a good one to do in the modern era. The evil sheriff could have a Hemi Charger cop car and the "Kid" could be a Roush Mustang or a Factory Five '33 Ford kit car with a supercharged "5.0" Coyote in it. Sheen's character could be a returning Iraq or Afghanistan vet. You could make the sheriff really evil-he's using returning vets to smuggle guns and drugs back and selling them to gangs. The "Kids" brother discovers this and threatens to go to the Justice Dept and of course has to be eliminated....Then big bro comes for retribution.....Don Johnson or Kurt Russell would be good as the evil sheriif. Bradley Cooper is super-hot right now and he could certainly play the Kid. Or they could think outside the box and get Kid Rock or maybe Lucas Black-he was the Quarterback in "Friday Night Lights" and was in a couple of the "Fast and Furious" movies. There was talk that Quentin Tarantino wanted to re-do the Burt Reynolds classic "White Lightning"-I posted about that a while back. But perhaps the "California Kid" would be a better vehicle.... ( Pun intended ).  Mastermind  

Can we please stop calling all-out race cars "Street Machines?" 7 second 1/4 times?? Really??

I don't know about you, but I am sick to death of all the buff magazines featuring articles on "Real Street Heroes" or "Ultimate Street Challenge."  Yes, anything is drivable depending on what the driver is willing to tolerate. But let's be reasonable. A car with an 8 or 10 point roll cage rolling on 29 inch slicks with a 12:1 compression, nitrous-fed 500 inch, 700 hp engine backed by an automatic with a 5,000 rpm converter and a trans-brake that runs the 1/4 in 7 seconds at 160+ mph is not a street car, it's a race car. If you want to argue-consider these points.  Even if the car has 4.56:1 gears the 60 mph cruise rpm is going to be well below the 5K converter's stall speed. How far can mom go toward soccer practice before she burns up that $3,000 trans-braked TCI or B&M tranny? And how does she secure the kids? "Be careful climbing over the roll cage, honey and don't step on the Nitrous bottle."  Most tracks require anything that runs quicker than 11.50 to have a full cage and a driveshaft safety loop. Most states require anything built after 1978 to have some kind of safety and / or smog inspection that requires checking for equipment like Catalytic Converters, EGR valves,AIR pumps etc. How does one get say-a 572 inch 720 hp '86 Monte Carlo SS legally registered?  Even if you go old school-i.e a '68 Road Runner or a '72 Chevelle-paying 12 bucks a gallon for a 5-gallon jug of 110 octane race gas to feed that 12:1 528 inch Hemi or 572 inch Rat that gets 5-8 mpg is going to get old real quick. And those big fat slicks or Drag radials are going to be awesome in the rain or snow. Here's a little checklist-if your car can't make a 150 mile trip without stopping for gas,idle for ten minutes in rush-hour traffic in 90 degree weather without overheating, enter or exit a driveway or parking lot or go over speed bumps without denting the oil pan or exhaust system, and safely drive ten mph over the posted speed limit on a curvy road in the rain-things that any 15 year old Honda Accord can do-then guess what?  Your car is NOT a "Street Machine!!!"  Calling some of these 6,7 or 8 second cars street machines is like calling an armored, Hummer H1 with an M60 mounted on the roof and anti-tank missiles and Law's Rockets in the cargo area a "Sport Utility Vehicle"!!!  Right? All the upscale soccer moms in Baghdad want one of those!!  Especially now-a new Mustang GT or Camaro SS runs 12s right off the showroom floor. A shot of nitrous and some drag radials would put you in the low 11s or high 10s. And it will get 20 mpg on the highway, idle all day in summer rush hour traffic and start in 10 degree winter weather. If you really "Need" to go faster than that-honestly then you need a Top Fuel dragster, a competent therapist, or a cage. Don't get me wrong-I'm not saying you can't be-as Dennis Rodman used to say-"As Bad as you want to be". You want a 6 second car-if you got the bank account and the ability to build it-more power to you-and enjoy it ON THE TRACK where it belongs. Think about this-do you want your wife or teenage son or daughter to innocently pull out of a driveway or shopping center in front of some fool who's just put the hammer down on his 7 second alchohol-burning Rat-Motored Nova on what he thought was an empty street and is going 135 instead of 35? Will he be able to stop that sonofabitch before he kills your family member and probably himself and anyone else nearby? I think not. If the buff mags want to feature these monsters that's fine, but don't call a race car with liscence plates a "Street Machine". Robby Knieval's Jump Bike is a motorcycle,but it isn't a "Street Cruiser".  A stripped down-P51 race plane is an airplane, but it's not a "Passenger Plane!"  Mastermind                    

Blasphemy Most Foul....Again!!!

I just saw a 1968 Shelby Mustang GT500KR Convertible for sale for $210,000 AND IT DOESN'T HAVE THE ORIGINAL ENGINE!!!!!!   Really???  The ad says how the original owner grenaded the motor-and it has a "Date Correct" "Police Interceptor" 428 in it. Double-speak for "The Asshole 1st owner put a rod through the side of the block back when these cars weren't worth anything,and it's been through 12 different small and big-block block Fords in its lifetime, but the last owner tried to restore it and found a 428 block out of an old cop car that had 1968 date codes." We want you to overlook that and pay almost a 1/4 million for a NOT-NUMBERS MATCHING SHELBY MUSTANG!!!!  Really????  I saw a '57 Chevy for sale for $69,000 That had a 1964 327 in it with an Edelbrock dual-quad manifold on it, a 3-speed stick, and steel wheels with dog-dish hubcaps. Excuse me? 50K for a car with a non-original engine, an Earl Schieb paint job and dog-dish hubcaps???  They couldn't even sell it as a "Hot Rod" or "Gasser Tribute"-because if it was a '60's style "Hot Rod" it would have had a 4-speed with a Hurst Competition Plus shifter, American Racing Torq-Thrust or Cragar S/S mags,a straight front axle and radiused fenderwells!!!  This was a clunker that some gearhead cobbled together with crap he had laying around, and he wants 70 grand for it???  When I saw a 69,000 mile, numbers-matching 1969 RAIV GTO with an "OW" TH400 and 4.33 Posi for $45,000 in Hemmings????  Like Smokey Robinson said-"You better shop around". Mastermind      

Some "Clunkers" that could be great "Rat Rods".......

There are a lot of '70's and '80's beaters that would make great "Rat Rods"-i.e.-not pretty, and not expensive but wicked fast.  Here's a few that could go major fast for very low bucks. # 1. 1975-79 GM "X" body. This includes Chevy Novas, Pontiac Venturas,Olds Omegas, and Buick Apollos. They have front disc brakes standard and any suspension or brake upgrades that fit a Camaro / Firebird fit these cars-so you could build a drag racer or a corner carver. Their engine bays will swallow any GM engine-small or big-block Chevy,Pontiac V8, and Olds and Buick V8s. The '68-74 models have kind of a "cult" following-but these are snubbed, which means you can buy them cheap. # 2 1975-80 Chevy Monza / Pontiac Sunbird / Olds Starfire / Buick Skyhawk. Forget the 4-banger and V6 models-the ones to look for are the Chevy V8 models. They jad a reputation as dogs-but only because they were saddled with 2bbl carburation, single exhausts and salt-flats gearing like 2.29:1. Swapping the 305 for a snarling 350 or 383 is a bolt-in, and getting some 3.42:1 or 3.73:1 gears will put all that power to the pavement. With a curb weight of about 2,700 lbs-it wouldn't take much to turn one of these into a rocket. # 3. 1975-79 Ford Granada / Mercury Monarch. These have 302 or 351W V8s under the hood, and 9 inch rear ends. A little work-carb and intake, headers and dual exhausts, and an axle ratio change could make one of these really run for low bucks. # 4. 1975-78 Ford Mustang II. Forget the 4-cylinder or V6 models, get the 302 V8 models. They were dogs when new because they were saddled with 2 bbl carburation and salt-flats gearing. However-they don't weigh any more than a Pinto and there are a million ways to build power into a small-block Ford. # 5. 1975-78 Chrysler Cordoba / Plymouth Sport Fury / Dodge Magnum. The ones to look for are 400 and 440 versions; however a 360 version could be made to really run, or you could swap in a 360 based 408 stroker. # 6. 1975-79 Dodge Aspen / Plymouth Volare. These replaced the beloved Duster / Dart models and they had a reputation as slugs-like a lot of '70's sedans-the engines were choked with emission controls and they had salt-flats gearing. However-they can be bought dirt-cheap, their light enough that 318 versions could be quick, and could really rock with a 360 V8. Even if it was a 360 Magnum out of a wrecked Jeep Cherokee.....# 7. 1983-88 Ford Thunderbird. Forget the 4-cylinder and V6 models; get the 302 V8 models. Almost any speed parts or suspension parts that fit a Fox Mustang will fit these cars-so there's tons of potential. This is the one Bill Elliott won the NASCAR title in. # 8. 1987-92 Lincoln MKVII LSC. Often called a "5.0" Mustang in a Tuxedo-these cars have the 302 V8 from the Mustang GT, Recaro seats, 16" wheels and tires and sport suspension. Anything that fits a Fox Mustang will fit these cars so there's plenty of potential. They might not be sexy-but they could be wicked fast for very low bucks. Mastermind  

Hollywood blows it again........

Watched "John Wick" on pay-per-view the other night. They had a great idea , they just didn't execute it. ( Pun intended ) Keanu Reeves stars as the title character who was once a legendary underworld hitman. He retired and went straight and married the smokin' hot Bridget Moniyhan. ( Patriot's QB Tom Brady's ex and Tom Sellecks daughter on "Blue Bloods." ). They were madly in love and he was idyllically happy. Then she dies of a mysterious ailment. The same day he gets a puppy from her post-humously-( How did she know she was going to die if it was so sudden? ) He also has a Boss 429 Mustang. When gangasters kill the puppy and steal the Boss 'Nine-he sets out to smite them in Biblical Fashion.  Ok. Except we never see him and Bridgett's happy marriage ( not even in flashbacks, except for one annoying cell-phone clip ). Were never told what the fuck she died of-whether it was leaukimia, breast cancer, brain cancer, lupus, a stroke, a brain hemorrage, whatever-were just supposed to beleive that this gorgeous maybe 35 year old woman just dropped dead out of the blue, but yet knew the time of her exact demise and could have Fed Ex deliver a puppy and a cutesy note the day of her funeral after she's gone?  They never explain why he has such a unique car as a 1969 Boss 429. We see him hot-rod it alone at an airfield. Russian thugs then steal it and kill the puppy setting off his quest of vengenance. The thug who steals it is the son of his former boss who is understandably upset by these proceedings. Instead of making the little bastard give the car back and apologize, of course it's as Johhny Dangerously said- "fargin war". John Leguizamo is wasted as the owner of a "Chop Shop". He recognizes Wick's car and punches out the kid who stole it and admits it to the old man and gets away with it. He also gives Wick a 1970 SS396 Chevelle after relaying the bad news, and has a pristine, sinister "Bullitt" style '68 Charger that he leans on while pleading his innocence in the theft to Wick.  We never get his history-why does Wick trust him-and where does he get his balls big enough to punch out the son of the "Don" so to speak?  Now we get a bunch of Hong Kong style action flick-ala "The Killer" action as Wick takes out the boss's thugs in pursuit of the brat who stole the car, including torching his whole database and all his money. Ther'es also a subplot with Willem Dafoe as a former colleague of Wick's who is given a 4 million dollar contract to kill him, but instead protects him at every turn, even sacrificing his own life. Were never told or shown this relationship in any depth-did Wick save his ass from torture and death in the military in Iraq or Afghanistan? Why would he sacrifice his life to save Wicks? Because they both liked old musclecars?  As usual the producers thought Video-game style action aimed at 12 year old boys would be enough. Well it wasn't. They had a chance to do something really cool-and instead went by-the-numbers and disappointed true action fans once again with a train wreck with plot holes you could drive a truck through. Too bad. Mastermind      

Blasphemy most foul...Continued......

Here's what I love about the Worldwide web-If something early in a post rubs you the wrong way-stop reading and vent your anger immediately. Use profanity so we know you mean business. If the writer responds with irrefutable proof that you are wrong- by citing a sentence or paragraph you failed to read-you are under no obligation to apologize for your outburst. Anyhow-as you might have surmised-I got a bunch of flak about the last post and "Completely Reversing" my position on the modification / restification of classics. If you've followed this blog for any length of time or seen any of my articles in PHR or MCR-you know I just re-affirmed my usual position. I have said the same thing for years until I'm blue in the face-But let me clarify my position once again. The Shelby Mustang I was bitching about is a perfect case in point. Why couldn't the builder have bought one of the hundreds of thousands of generic 289 powered '67-68 Mustangs that no one cares about and put in a 347 Stroker, a Tremec Five-speed, a Global West Suspension, Wildwood disc brakes etc. He could have even bought the body pieces from Tony Branda and cloned a GT350. But no-you had to butcher a for-real, rare numbers-matching Shelby GT350. That's like the asshole who took a one of 458 ever built 455HO / 4-speed 1972 Trans-Am an completely butchered the body interior and suspension and then put an LS motor in it. He couldn't buy one of the 68,000 '77 models, 93,000 '78 T/A's, or 117,000 '79 models out there and do that?  Or any of the millions of 1970-81 Formula, Esprit, and base-model Firebirds? No it had to be one of the rarest-except for a '73 SD455 model ( 252 built ) or a '70 RAIV model ( 88 built ). Like I've said a million times before-I don't care if someone buys a beater Tempest or Malibu and puts a 572 Rat Motor or blown LS motor in it-have fun. But when they do it to a Numbers-Matching Judge, or a for-real SS396 or SS454 model-it drives me up the wall. Chevrolet built 220,906 Camaros in 1967. So why did some idiot with more money than brains have to put an LS motor and a six-speed into one of the few remaining 602 ever built Z/28's???!!!!!  Do you see a common thread here?  If you want to put a tunnel-rammed Rat Motor, a Lenco 4-speed and a full tubbed rear suspension to "Pro Street" one of the 190,000 generic '68 Cutlass / F85 models out there, no one cares. Just don't do it to one of the 515 Hurst / Olds models!!!!   And again-a pristine Boss 351 Mach 1 isn't "ruined" because it has a Holley or an Edelbrock carb on it instead of the god-awful Autolite 4300, and Z-Rated tires instead of bias-ply Coker Polyglas GT repros!!!  Is everyone clear on my position now??  Just had to vent that. Mastermind
    

Blasphemy most foul!!....

I owe some people an apology. I have often publicly derided the "Just as it left the factory" types. And I must say with good reason-A pristine, numbers-matching 1969 SS396 Chevelle is not "Ruined" if it has halogen headlights, radial tires, a Hurst shifter in place of the awful stock Muncie unit and an HEI distributor. A pristine Boss 302 is not worth any less because it has a Sears Die Hard 24F Battery instead of a phony Autolite repro. Puhleeze. However-you have to draw the line somewhere. RK Motors in Charlotte North Caraolina the home of NASCAR-specializes in old musclecars. Their advertising a 1968 GT350 Shelby Mustang for $130,000. That's about right-you can't touch an original Shelby for under a 100k-except for 1969-70 GT350s-I've seen them advertised in Hemmings for as low as 44k. However-this one although the body is a "Real" Shelby-it has a 347 inch Ford SVT stroker motor, a Tremec five-speed,a Global west suspension with rack&pinion steering and 4-wheel disc brakes. Doubtless it's a badass, great performing car-but it's not original. It was originally a 302 / Automatic car Which in Shelby lore is not that valuable-but the fact that it is a Shelby should have kept it preserved. The same company for-the same price- $130,000 is advertising a numbers-matching 428 / C6 1967 Shelby GT500. Which line are you going to be in? Trans-Am specialties is advertising a 1969 RAIV Trans-Am Convertible for $100,000. Except it's a fake. It's a base-model Firebird convertible that someone gussied up to look like a Trans-Am. And yes the parts are top notch, and they located RAIV heads, and intake etc-But it's a fucking fake-and you want the price of a house anywhere except New York or California for it!!!  I have to go with the concours and the "Just as it left the factory" types on this. If I buy a beater for 2,3,4 or 5 grand, I don't give a shit where it came from or if it has the original engine or tranny or not.  But if I'm going to pay 100 grand on up for something-it damn well better be the real deal. Like Nicholas cage said in the "Gone in 60 Seconds" re-make-"There's too many assholes with too much money."  Masremind
    

Stop whining and either lower your sights a little, or build one!!!

I get so tired of people whining that they can't find a deal on the classic car they want.  Usually these people want some unobtainable moon rock. Yes, if you want an LS6 Chevelle and don't have a hundred grand laying around, your pretty much out of luck. However-you can buy a nice, restored 68-70 SS396 Chevelle for about $30,000 in any state in the union. Or you could buy a '68-'72 Malibu, go to a junkyard and get a 454 core out of a wrecked truck, and build an LS6 spec motor pretty easy. Merlin and GMPP sell the heads,Crane sells the cam, and GMPP sells the intake. Or you could use Edelbrock stuff. They claim 540 hp from their Performer "RPM" Package. If you want a Boss 302-again figure on 80K on up. However-I have seen nice, rust-free 351W / 351C '69-70 fastbacks for sale for as low as $12,000. Or with help from Edelbrock and Trick Flow you can build a clone "Boss" engine.  If you want  an SD-455 T/A-your going to pay huge there was only 252 built in 1973 and another 943 in '74. However you can buy a '75-79 T/A relatively cheap. Butler Performance and other comapnies sell crank kits to turn a 400 into a 455, and Edelbrock has the round-port RAIV-style heads. Or Butler will sell you a 455 Pontiac guaranteed to have 550 hp and 570 lbs of torque, and run on 89 octane gas for $7,500. Want a badass "Gasser" style or "Two Lane Blacktop / American Graffiti" style '55 Chevy? Woodyz Hot Rods is selling brand-new '55-57 Chevy bodies and chassis. Hot Rod magazine built one for 25K including the Rat motor,muncie 4-speed, 9 inch Ford rear end and Disc-braked front suspension. People want more than that for rust-bucket tri-fives that need a ton of work!!  427 Cobra?  Factory Five's complete kit-( everything you need except motor and tranny ) is $19,999. Another 5K will buy you a 345 hp 302 Ford SVT crate engine and "World Class" T5 five-speed to put behind it. With a curb weight of less than 2,500 lbs-you'll do 0-60 in 4 seconds and the 1/4 in the high 11s-for about 25 grand. You'll need ten times that to touch a "Real" 289 or 427 Cobra. An L88 Corvette will cost you over 100 grand. I have seen nice, running '74-79 Corvettes on used car lots as low as $2995!!. A 480 hp 427 GMPP crate engine will run you about ten grand. Or you could start with the 425 hp 454HO for $5995 and do some upgrades. Either way for about 15K you've got a 'Vette with L88 performance and rumble.Any 427 Stingray will cost you 50K on up.  So think outside the box and quit lamenting that there's no deals out there. There are, you just have to have a little imagination. Mastermind

Some niche cars that might be cool to play with.....

There has always been rare cars that for whatever reason-never caught on even though they were cool. Here's some that you don't see every day but would be cool to have. # 1. 1970-75 Stutz Blackhawk. These were based on the Pontiac Gran Prix chassis so mechanically their easy to fix. 400 or 455 cubes under that long hood gives them plenty of "Go" to match the "Show".  Elvis Presley got the first one and liked it so much he later bought two more. One got wrecked by a member of his entourage; the other one is on display at Graceland. Frank Sinatra had one and so did Evel Knievel.  Rapper DMX drove one in the gritty action flick "Never Die Alone". # 2. 1968-69 Ford XL GT. Cool hidden headlight, fastback styling, luxurious interiors, and 390,428 or 429 cubes under the hood. Also available in a convertible version but those will be pricey. A girl I knew in high school had an XL drop-top. It was way cool. # 3. 1970-72 Plymouth Sport Fury. Cool hidden headlight, "Fuselage" styling, and 383, 400 or 440 cubes under the hood. Peter Graves drove one on "Mission: Impossible". # 4. 1977 Pontiac Can Am. Hoping to cash in on the Trans-Am's immense popularity Pontiac came up with this performance package for the LeMans. These cars had wrist-thick front and rear sway bars, a 400 Pontiac V8 ( 403 Olds in California ) backed by a TH400 with a shift kit,and a limited-slip rear end. They also had a Gran Prix instrument panel, a Trans-Am style "Shaker" hood scoop, a unique "Ducktail" rear spoiler and "Judge" style striping. They only lasted one season because GM down-sized the intermediates for 1978 and the largest engine available in a '78 LeMans was the anemic 301. Their great performers stock, and there are a million ways to build power into a Pontiac V8, and any suspension or brake upgrades that fit a Chevelle / Monte Carlo fit these cars so there's tons of hot rod potential.  #5. 1979 Chrysler 300. These were based on the Cordoba chassis and had cool styling, a slick white paint job, rich, red "Corinthian Leather" chrome wheels and a 360 V8. Not a rocket, but a nice crusier, or you could swap in a 440.... Any of these will turn heads going down the street and put a smile on your face....Mastermind  

Here's why the "F&F" girls don't qualify for the list of Hottest women in car movies...

Had several people comment on an older post-( it's funny-I get shit from people for stuff I posted three years ago ) but I guess any attention is good attention, right?  Anyhow-an "F&F" and new "Dallas" fan was pissed that Jordana Brewster was not on the list. And he mentioned that Michelle Rodriguez wasn't on there either. Here's why. I hate to be a pig-but were talking about Macho-action movies. Sharon Stone is famous for her "Beaver Shot" from "Basic Instinct" but she spent a lot of time naked in that movie as well. As did Jeanne Tripplehorn. ( Who also got naked and offered herself to Kevin Costner in the awful "Waterworld". ) Former Miss America and Oscar-winner Halle Berry was topless and barefoot in "Swordfish". Classically trained stage actress Darlanne Fluegel-"Eyes of Laura Mars." "Battlestar Galactica"-got naked a lot in "To Live and Die in L.A."  The smokin' hot Eva Mendes was nude in "Training Day". In fact-she had a brief barefoot-in-a-bikini scene in "F&F 2". Which was the highlight of that train wreck. Miss World contestant and "Wonder Woman" Lynda Carter got naked a lot in the action flick "Bobbi Jo and the Outlaw" that she made with Evangelist-turned-action-star Marjoe Gortner.  Oscar Nominee Rene Russo had a topless scene in "The Thomas Crown Affair." and she was well over 40. Reminded me of the scene in "Dragnet" when Joe Friday meets the Playboy Playmate. "Do these look like the breasts of a 43 year old woman?" "No ma'am." "Those breasts are magnificent, bordering on, spectacular." I know I sound like a total pig-but what I'm saying is these other,better resume'd actresses "suffered for their art" and did gratuitous nude or sexy scenes. In all the "F&F" movies Jordana Brewster has been totally dressed-and spent her time refereeing the "Bromance" between Paul Walker and Vin Diesel. I mean, forget naked or in a bikini-she's never even taken her shoes off in the F&F movies. Weve never even seen her barefoot in a casual kitchen scene. Ditto for Rodriguez. Were supposed to believe that her 120 lb skinny ass could whip both Ronda Rousey and Gina Carano-but weve never seen her topless or barefoot-even in sex scenes with Diesel. I'm not saying women have to show skin to be taken seriously-what I'm saying is if Halle Berry could show her boobs for "Swordfish"-then Jordana Brewster could at least wear a bikini in a beach scene!!  You don't get "Immortal Hottie In an Action Movie" status by being fully clothed and whining-"Don't fight guys."  So that's why her and Michelle aren't on the list. At least in "White Lightning" we got a Tarantino-ish close-up of Jennifer Billingsley's very dirty bare feet, and they implied she was naked,even if they didn't show full-frontal. It's not politically correct- but were rating mindless action and car-chase movies. Mastermind  

Quirky musclecars in movies.....

Everyone's pretty much sick of  '68-70 Chargers, disco-era T/A's, Shelby Mustang clones, etc. I know because someone asked me about cool action flicks or mainstream dramas that had musclecars other than those whether there was a chase scene or not. I aim to please, so here's a list of cool flicks with cool cars featured. # 1. "Drive Angry". This over-the-top action / black comedy flick featuring Nicholas Cage as a-( in the words of the narrator ) "BAMF" who escaped from hell to rescue his granddaughter from a Satanic Cult, and the narrator-who is Satan's Bounty Hunter and has to bring him back. The bad guys can't kill Cage, because he's already dead. Anyhow-plenty of action-and I know he and Amber Heard drive a '69 Charger for a while-but he has a '64 Riviera early on, and later gets a '72 SS454 Chevelle, and the bounty hunter has a wicked '57 Chevy. Great, mindless fun. # 2. "Jack Reacher." If your a fan of the books-this one made you sick-in the books-Jack Reacher is 6'5" and 270 lbs. And they cast Tom Cruise? Who's what 5'8" and a buck-fifty? Puhleeze. There is a chase scene with Cruise driving a 1970 SS396 Chevelle chasing an Audi A6, while numerous cop cars chase him. If you haven't read the books, you'll like it. If you've read the books, you'll want to vomit day-glo. ( Kind of like when they cast 5' 5"  Boston-born and raised Mark Wahlberg as Stephen Hunter's 6' 2" Arkansas-born Marine sniper "Bob Lee Swagger", but that's another disgusting Hollywood gaffe for another time.)  # 3. "Roadhouse" Classic action flick with Patrick Swayze and Sam Elliott as legendary bouncers cleaning up a badass Missouri bar and running afoul of the local crime lord. Great action-Kickboxing Champion Benny Urquidez trained Swayze for this movie, and he looks natural in the fight scenes. When he throws that double-left hook while kicking the thug- "O ' Connor's " ass-it's pure poetry. And his brawl with Marshall Teague is legendary. Anyway he drives 2- '63 Rivieras in this movie-to avoid getting his 380SL Mercedes trashed. Watch the movie-it's a running joke, just like "I thought you'd be bigger." And the smokin' hot Kelly Lynch gets naked. Did I mention that?  # 4. "Code of Silence". Chuck Norris thriller that was originally written for Clint Eastwood-( which is why it had a great story; better than Norris's usual chop-socky crap ). Anyhow-Chuck kicks a lot of ass and drives a '75 Firebird Formula 400 that gets wrecked chasing the bad guys in a Cadillac. # 5. "Impulse". This under-rated thriller was directed by Clint Eastwood's ex Sondra Locke-and she showed she really had chops. I'm surprised she hasn't gotten other directing gigs. Theresa Russell stars as an undercover Vice Cop on the edge. Her job is hanging by a thread-( too many excessive force complaints ) and her credit cards are maxed and she's broke. One night while posing as a Hooker she takes a rich guy up on his offer of $10,000 to have sex with him. Except he's a major drug dealer, and he gets murdered while she's in the bathroom. She takes the money and runs, and then gets assigned the case. Both the bad guys and the cops soon figure out there's a missing witness. With the baddies and IAD closing in, she tries to cover her ass. Great suspense and a great running gunfight that ends in a cramped little convenience store-where barefoot and out of ammo-she takes out two thugs with some "Jailhouse Rock"-an up and down the body martial-arts system that came out of the prison system. ( It's good for fighting in tight spaces like jail cells,-duh- where you can't leap around like a ballerina; Mel Gibson used it in the original "Lethal Weapon" against Gary Busey in their big brawl ). Anyhow she drives a bright blue 1986 IROC-Z Camaro. # 6. "The Dark Half." The killer-"George Stark" drives a jet-black '67 Toronado with a bumper sticker that says "A High Toned Son of a Bitch."  #7. "The Punisher" This train-wreck really pissed me off. It starred Thomas Jane as a cop who has his whole family murdered by gangsters and is left for dead. He goes vigilante to hunt down the bastards and kill them. It starts off good enough-the late Roy Scheider plays his father and he and Jane take out a bunch of baddies in a great gunfight before their over-run. When he gets out of the hospital-he stockpiles weapons and builds and armored, badass '69 GTO. Then it goes completely off the rails. It spends way too much time on Jane's quirky neighbors-a fat guy, a tattoed and pierced little greaseball and the totally wasted Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model-turned actress Rebecca Romjin-they don't have sex or even date,and we don't even get a gratiuitous barefoot-in-a-bikini scene by the pool. Now that's a crime. The GTO gets wrecked but not even in a decent chase. A country singing hitman drive's a '70 Super Bee-but that's wasted too-no chase or anything. A total mess that will irritate you, even if you only paid 99 cents to rent it off Redbox. # 8. "Knight and Day." Tom Cruise spy vehicle that's NOT a "Mission: Impossible". He drugs Cameron Diaz frequently so she won't witness him killing anybody or committing other mayhem-that keeps her innocent as the body count rises, right? I personally think the director has a fetish for women fainting. If your into that sort of thing-you get several scenes of her rolling her eyes and passing out, and then waking up disoriented. And you do get a gratiutious bikini scene. Overall it's a mess with a stupid plot and implauible scenarios. Cameron does drive a nice Tri-Power, 4-speed, '66 GTO-the only redeeming quality of the film. And the old couple who classic car restorer Diaz is shipping classic Pontiac Parts to, who may or may not be Cruise's parents-your never definitively told-have a '67 Gran Prix convertible. Like I said, a mess. If I think of others I'll put them in another post....Mastermind                      

A perfect example of "What Not to Do".....

Had a guy come through the shop the other day with a nice 1970 El Camino. It had a leaky radiator hose,which was an easy fix. He said he was trying to sell it and wasn't getting many offers even though he didn't think he had it overpriced. It wasn't overpriced; it was just done wrong. It had an nice black paint job on a straight body, and the dash wasn't cracked and the seats were obviously recently redone in stock-type upholstery. However-someone-he said the previous owner-had installed a digital instrument panel. It also had 22" inch wheels on it which made it look cartoonish-a small car sitting atop these huge wheels. The 350 sounded good and seemed to have plenty of power-but it was an L31 Vortec crate engine. It did have an Edelbrock carb sitting on a Vortec Performer manifold-at least it wasn't fuel-injected. Those three things made it sale-proof. I've said many times that I'm not, and I despise the "Just as it left the factory" crowd. I mean is a 45 year old car really "ruined" because it has radial tires and halogen headlight bulbs? No it isn't. But on the other hand the modifications need to be period-correct. Now this Elky would have looked a lot better with 15" or 16" inch American Racing Torq-Thrusts or Cragar S/S mags, and some performance tires. It would have been better off with a stock instrument panel, and I would have been fine if had a Sun Tach attatched to the steering column. Even if the engine wasn't numbers-matching it would have been better if was a pre-1987 model-you know the "Original" 1955-86 small-block, like say a "Targetmaster" GM replacement, or just something a guy built with parts he had laying around-like an old Torker or Tarantula manifold with a 650 Holley on it and some headers. In that guise he'd have attracted the "Old School" guys like myself. The way it was it was too "New school" for purists, and too "Old School" for the guys who want supercharged LS motors and six-speeds,rack&pinion steering etc. I told him to leave the engine alone,that most people wouldn't care or know what it was-to them one 350 Chevy is as good as another- but change the wheels and the dash and he'd probably sell it quick. Typical-"But if I'm selling it why would I want to put any money into it?"  Because you haven't been able to sell it the way it is, and with the small changes I suggested you may not only sell it quick, but you might get a higher price because in the eyes of the buyers-your targeting-let's face it-no one under 40 wants a 1970 El Camino- the old guys only want it if it's "Right". I tried to explain by using a few different examples. "Ok." I said-a '68 Camaro with a 327 and a 4-speed with a Hurst Competition Plus shifter ( in place of that god-awful Muncie unit ),that has headers and an Edelbrock Tarantula Intake with a 650 Holley on it, Mickey Thompson Valve Covers, 15" Cragar S/S mags and Lakewood traction bars is just as "Right" now as it was in say-1971. A '68 Camaro with a nitrous-fed Fuel-Injected LS motor, Recaro seats, a richmond six-speed, and 19" inch Center Lines is "Wrong" in more ways than I can count. A '69 Mustang with a 390 with headers, a 428 CJ cam, a dual-quad Shelby intake with two Carter AFBs on it and a B&M stall converter and shift kit in the C6 tranny and shod with 15" ET slot mags, and louvers on the rear window is just as badass now as it was in 1970. A '69 Mustang with with a fuel-injected, supercharged Coyote engine backed by a 6-speed automatic and shod with 20" wheels is a lame horse, not matter how fast it is. A '55 Chevy with the front bumper removed,radiused rear wheelwells, a straight front axle, and a snarling solid-lifter small or big-block backed by a Muncie 4-speed is a badass Tribute to '60's style "Gasser" drag cars and street racers of the time. The '55 in "American Graffiti" and "Two-Lane Blacktop" still had the bumper-but you get the drift.  A '55 with a Tuned-Port Injected 383 backed by a 700R4, on a Morrison 'Vette chassis with 4-wheel disc brakes,rack&pinion steering and 20" inch wheels is an abomination before God and everyone else. See what I'm saying?  He didn't. Like talking to the wall. I've said it before-it's your car-you can do any damn thing you want with it. But if you want to sell it for top dollar-it has to be what the mainstream buyer wants-not YOUR dream car-which-the further it is from "Mainstream"-the fewer people are gong to be interested in it-like the '57 T-Bird with the Pontiac engine I mentioned or the '67 Camaro with the Toyota Supra running gear. Those guys think their cars are ultra-cool. Do you think either of them has a snowball's chance in hell of ever selling to a Ford guy, or a Pontiac guy, or a Chevy guy, or an Import Tuner?  No!!!  Tha'ts the point I was trying to make. Mastermind    

Playing with junk.....And maybe making something really cool......

A friend of mine owns a junkyard and he and I have talked many times about building cool stuff the factories never did. Here's a few that I think would be easy to build and cool to have. # 1. 1968-72 "GTO / 442 / GS 455" El Camino / Sprint. Buy a beater El Camino and put the front clip you want on it-be it Pontiac, Olds or Buick. The engine swap would be easy-you'd just have to get a BOP bolt-pattern TH350 or bellhousing if you wanted to run a stick. How cool would a "Sprint" be with a GTO front end, a snarling 400 or 455 Pontiac under the hood and painted like a Judge? Or go the Olds route and use a 403 or 455 Olds V8 and paint it like a Hurst / Olds. Or go Buick and do it like a GSX.  I think these would be way cool.  # 2. Muscle Wagons. Because of their long wheelbase and excellent weight distribution, a wagon actually makes a good drag racer. The obvious choices are 1968-72 LeMans and Olds Cutlass wagons because most of these would have a 400 or 455 V8 under the hood,and have a TH400 tranny, front disc brakes, and heavy-duty suspension stock. Again, I think it would be cool to have a "GTO" or "442 / Hurst / Olds" wagon. They'd cetainly make a cooler driver if you have kids than a Tahoe or Jeep Cherokee!  You could build an "SS454" wagon-but it would cost more as most Malibu wagons were small-block powered and you'd have to swap in the Rat Motor, but it would still be doable for not a ton of money; it just wouldn't be as easy as it would be with the Pontiac or Olds models that would have the big-inch engines standard. And your not limited to GM stuff here. Their a little harder to find-for whatever reason Chrysler didn't sell as many mid-size wagons as GM did-but it would be pretty easy to buy a Satellite / Coronet wagon and build a Road Runner / GTX / Super Bee wagon. The up side is no one is fighting with machetes for old Mopar wagons, most would have 383 , 400 or 440 cubes under the hood, and the parts and trim and graphics are readily available. How cool would a 440 / Six-Pack Super Bee wagon be? Especially if you put the hidden headlight Charger front clip and an "Air Grabber" hood on a '71-74 model?  Pretty damn cool if you ask me. You could also do a "Wood Brothers" NASCAR themed Mercury Montego wagon or a "Starsky and Hutch" Torino wagon. Most of these would have 351C or 429 / 460 motivation so building power wouldn't be an issue... # 3. 1981-87 "Grand National" El Camino. The cheap way would be to buy a beater '78-87 Elky an put the '81-87 Buick Regal front clip on it and paint it jet-black. Horsepower would be no problem-there's more speed equipment for the Small-block Chevy than anything else on the planet. A snarling 383 stroker would be the easiest and most cost-effective way to big power. The second easiest way would be if the Regal donor had the 307 Olds V8 for power and the Elky was a V6 model. You could grab the motor mounts and accesories and the 200R4 tranny-and swap in a 350 or 403 Olds V8 and a 4-speed automatic. Edelbrock claims 397 hp and 400 lbs of torque from their Olds Performer RPM package and that's on a 350-a 403 would have well over 400 ponies which would make this little hybrid an absolute rocket. And it would be easier than trying to change from a Buick V6 back to Chevy power. The third way would be find a wrecked Bonneville SSEI, Gran Prix or Buick Riviera from the late '90's and get the Supercharged 3.8 V6 and all the wiring out of that. Now there's going to be people saying why not transplant a real GN powertrain into the Elky?  Really? Who's going to cut up a Grand National that's worth major bucks to play with an El Camino that's not worth squat?  The only case where that's feasible would be if you had a GN and it got broadsided and totalled,with the frame bent in half, but the front clip,and engine and tranny were unscathed. Not very likely-so the cost -effective way is the ways I laid out. But it would look cool, and haul in more ways than one. # 4. 1977-79 Lincoln MK V Ranchero. The '77-79 Rancheros were based on the LTD II platform, which was the same chassis as the Lincoln MK V. It would be pretty easy to put the slick-looking, hidden headlight front clip off a MK V onto the Ranchero. If you had a 460 model ( or if the MK V donor car did ) you'd have a unique, badass ride for low bucks. If you had a 351 / 400M model-there's a lot of speed equipment available for them-so building power wouldn't be too hard. Any of these would be cool, unique drivers in my opinion. Mastermind.