If your going to argue....Be sure your comparing "Apples to Apples"...

Got some rants from people who are "Off-Brand" lovers about the superiority of their rides over typical GM, Ford and Mopar offerings that they supported with old magazine road tests. I hate to use the teenage text term "LOL", but I was laughing out loud. Dreamer #1 Cited a 1973 Motor Trend "Ponycar Round-up" where the Javelin AMX was the fastest 0-60 and in the 1/4 mile. Except the Javelin was a 255 hp 401 / 4-speed model with a 3.54:1 Sure-Grip axle-the highest-perfromance model of the line. The Camaro was a Type LT with a 165hp 2bbl 350 with an automatic and 2.73:1 gears. The Firebird was an Esprit with a 150 hp 2bbl 350 and an automatic and 3.08;1 gears, and the Mustang was a Grande with a 177 hp 2bbl 351and an automatic with 2.80:1 gears. Now, if the Camaro had been a Z/28 with the 250 hp L82, a 4-speed and 3.73:1 gears, the results would have been much different. Ditto if the Mustang had been a 266 hp 351CJ with a 4-speed and 3.50:1 gears. And Toss out the 310 hp SD 455 Trans-Am ( only 252 were built ) if the Pontiac had been a standard 250 hp L75 455 T/A with either a 4-speed or a TH400 and 3.42:1 gears, OR even a 230 hp L78 Formula 400 with a 4-speed and 3.42:1 gears, the Javelin would have finished dead last as all of those Top-of-the-Line models tested by other mags recorded quicker 0-60 and 1/4 mile times than the AMX. Motor Trend apologized in the article saying the lesser GM and Ford offerings were all that was available from the factories test fleets, and alluded to the fact the results would have been very different had they all been premium models. Dreamer #2 cited a 1969 Road Test where a GS400 Buick Skylark was faster in the 1/4 than a GTO and an SS396 Chevelle. Except he didn't take into account the fact that the Buick was a Stage 1 model with a 4-speed and 4.30:1 gears,while the GTO was a standard 350 hp model with a 3-speed stick and 3.36:1 gears, and the Chevelle was a 325 hp automatic with 3.31:1 gears. Again-if the GTO had been a Ram Air IV with a 4-speed and 4.33:1 gears, or if the Chevelle had been a solid-lifter L78 model with a 4-speed and 4.11:1 gears the Buick would have finished dead last. Dreamer #3 was another AMC lover. He cited a 1972 Muscle Car comparo as totally biased because the Chevelle SS was a 454, the GTO was a 455HO, and the Dodge Charger was a 440 Magnum, while the Javelin AMX had a 401. He whined-"Of course a 440 Charger or a 454 Chevelle or a 455 GTO can beat a 401 Javelin in a drag race." That's not fair at all". He failed to note that the Javelin DID beat both the 429 Torino and the 455 Olds Cutlass in the 1/4 in the same test, and he failed to note that unlike the Motor Trend debacle-Cars magazine went out of their way to make sure every car was the top performance optioned model. In fact-There was also an LT-1 350 Z/28 Camaro, and a 351HO Mustang Mach 1 tested-and a 340 'Cuda tested-and ALL THREE of those cars beat the Javelin, the Torino and the Cutlass in the drag race. So it was about as fair as it could be. He also failed to note that the writer stated that the 429 in the Torino was rated at only 205 hp and was basically a "Station Wagon" engine, and that Ford said the 266 hp 351CJ would have been their top choice for getting maximum performance out of a Torino, and that the Olds rep was upset that a W30 455 442 with a 4-speed or a TH400 and 3.42:1 gears wasn't available, that they only had Cutlass S with the "Station Wagon" base 455 and 2.73:1 gears. Dreamer #4 was Ford guy who was pissed about a couple of early '90s Ford vs Chevy performance comparos-saying the results weren't fair and the writers were pro-GM. His gripe was the one test featured a 5-speed 5.0 Mustang against an automatic L98 IROC-Z. His contention was of course the Camaro was faster as it had 350 cubes versus the Mustang's 302. He said they should have used a 305 / 5-speed model. Again he's not grasping-the magazine got the top performance package for each model. He had the same gripe about a "Muscle Truck" comparo-saying it wasn't fair that the SS454 Chevy was quicker than the 351 engined Ford Ligtning pickup. Again-that was the top option for each model. GM guys didn't gripe back in the '70's when Trans-Ams had 400 or 455 cubes under the hood and all you could get in a Z/28 or a Corvette was a 350. Get over yourselves guys, you may love your cars, but sorry their was bigger, badder stuff offered by other manufacturers. Live with it. Mastermind

Why can't movie studios just pack it in with dignity?......

Saw in the paper that Universal is delaying the release of "Fast&Furious 7" from July 2014 to April 2015 because of Paul Walker's untimely death in a car accident. The movie is apparently half-finished, and their going to have to do some serious re-writing and re-shooting to explain Walker's sudden absence. Like Ditka says on "Monday Night Football"- "Come on, Man!"  The F&F movies have grossed something like 2 billion dollars worldwide. Why don't they just say-"Hey-we had a helluva run." "How tragic that one of the two major stars of the series died." "Out of respect for Paul Walker and his family, the project is scrapped." The movie "Frogmen" which starred O.J. Simpson as a Navy Seal trained asassin was never released following his murder trial. That studio had class-because it would have grossed a mint. But apparently greed now takes prescidence over class. Or they could at least scrap the footage and the storyline they had,start over, and open with Brian 'O Connor's murder and have Dominic Torretto and crew spend the rest of the movie avenging his death. That would be somewhat classy. But they never do anything classy, they just want the cash. The 1st "Smokey and the Bandit" was and still is a classic. The 2nd one got stupid with the pregnant elephant, and Buford T. Justices' triplet brothers, etc. Then the producers totally lost their mind and did "Smokey and the Bandit 3" with Jerry Reed and Jackie Gleason, but NO Burt Reynolds!!!  I don't need to say how awful that was. The first two "Die Hard" movies were excellent, the 3rd with Samuel Jackson was ok. Bruce Willis is over 60 now, can we just stop? The last two sucked ass in my opinion. The stories were too far-fetched, and Willis just phoned in his performances. The same with the "Lethal Weapon" series. The first two were magical, the third one with Rene Russo playing Rigg's butt-kicking girlfriend was ok, but the 4th one was awful and unnecessary. This isn't a recent problem. They ran "Death Wish" into the ground with what five or six of them? They only stopped because Charles Bronson died. And again-the original was awesome, number two was pretty good. Then they got stupid the cops recruit Paul Kersey to go after gang-bangers? Puhleeze. And how many times can one guys wives, daughters, girlfriends, co-workers, etc get raped and murdered?  Bronson must have been in tax trouble or something and really needed the money. Remember "Charlie's Angels?" That show was a mega mash. Then Farrah-Fawcett Majors quits in a blaze of glory. They replace her with the sexier Cheryl Ladd, and say she's Jill Monroe's sister. They got away with that, and as long as Cheryl and Jaclyn Smith spent a lot of time barefoot in bikinis, and got chloroformed and tied up once in a while while Kate Jackson and David Doyle raced to save them it was ok. It still had good ratings as teenage boys didn't have internet porn back then. But then Kate Jackson quit and was replaced with the awful Shelly Hack. ( The "Charlie" perfume model ). She wasn't bad-looking, but she was a horrible actress, even by campy t.v show standards. Then they replaced her with Tanya Roberts, who had a smokin body, but was an even worse actress than Shelly Hack. Then they decided to move the detective agency from Los Angeles to Hawaii so they could keep Smith, Ladd and Roberts in bikinis at ALL times. Needless to say it crashed and burned and was mercifully cancelled. I think they've done the same thing with "Sons of Anarchy." I loved it the first few seasons. But jeez, they've gone too far. How many people can one guy kill and get away with it? I mean Jax Teller killed Clay, he killed Tara's stalker ex-boyfriend, he killed some IRA members,he killed Adrienne Barbeau playing their tranny hooker buddies mother. Somebody's going to get this fucker someday-the cops aren't that inept. Jax's mother kills his wife? Come on, even in a show about low-lifes, that pretty much ends it. What are they going to do next season? "Two and a Half Men after Charlie Sheen left?" There's a time to say "We had a helluva run, but it's over." "Let's do something else."  But they won't if they think they can make a nickel. Sad that art or quality entertainment doesn't matter anymore, only cash.  Mastermind        

Factory Five has cool replicas.....

Factory Five racing sells some awesome kit cars. My two favorites are the Shelby Cobra replica and the '33 Ford coupe hot rod. Both use '87-2004 Mustang suspension, and the frames can be setup for either a small-block Chevy, Small-block Ford or 4.6 / 5.4 Ford mod motor. The complete kits with everything except engine and tranny run $19,000. So for 25K you could have an awesome machine that will humiliate 100K sports cars in a drag race or the twisties, and has a vintage look. Since the cars only weigh 2,100 lbs, with a mild 345 hp Ford 302 crate engine Hot Rod magazine ran 4 second 0-60 times and 12 flat 1/4 miles. And they pulled something like .096g on the skidpad-that's Corvette and Porsche Cayman territory. To me their a screaming bargain-theres no way you could get "real" Shelby Cobra or '33 Ford for 25K. Something to think about. Mastermind

"Project Off-Brand?" It might be cool.......

I was thinking that since all the buff magazines do "Popular" cars for their projects- i.e.-Camaros, Firebirds, Mustangs, Chevelles, Road Runners, etc it might be do neat to do something not so mainstream. I'm thinking maybe a '68-77 Buick Skylark / Regal / Century. Any suspension or brake upgrades that fit a Chevelle would fit these cars so you could make it handle or hook for the dragstrip. A 400 / 430 / 455 Buick V8 has a ton of torque to begin with, and there is fair aftermarket support-Edelbrock heads and intakes, Crane Cams etc. Or-especially since were not doing a '70 GSX-were talking a garden variety Skylark 2 dr-maybe go really low-budget and swap in a 472 or 500 Cadillac engine?  Another good one would be a '73-79 Olds Omega. A 403 would drop right in place of a 350 or even the later "economy" 260 V8s. Or you could get a 350 Olds Diesel block and stroke it to 440 inches.  Any suspension or brake upgrades that fit a Camaro / Firebird or Nova fit these cars, and their about 700 lbs lighter than a Cutlass. It would be both unique and fast.  The last choice would be a '71-77 AMC Gremlin or Hornet. Stop laughing-their light weight and short wheelbase makes them good drag racers. A 304 V8 version would be the way to go. Since AMC's are like Pontiacs-their all externally identical you could easily infuse some serious power. 390s and 401s are scarce, but 360s were used in Grand Waggoneers until 1992 so there's plenty of them in junkyards. Edelbrock offers performance aluminum heads and intakes and there's cams, headers, etc out there. One of these would be a great sleeper-stock looking wheels, dog-dish hubcaps,-until you hit the loud pedal and surprise some arrogant "Real" musclecar driver from a light. Something to think about. Maybe one of the buff magazines will see this and run with it......Mastermind

Why Sports Car guys are smarter.....

Sports car enthusiasts often look down their noses at musclecar enthusiasts and I'm sad to say I think their right. Doesn't matter if it's Hot Rod, Car Craft, Popular Hot Rodding, Mopar Action, Mustang Monthly or anything else. From cover to cover all you see is classic iron with Chevy LS motors, 5.7, 6.1 and 6.4 fuelie Hemis in vintage Mopars and 4.6 and 5.0 or 5.4 Ford mod motors stuffed in classic Mustangs, T-Birds and Toinos. And it's not just the engines; a '55 Chevy with a Morrisson frame, 2009 Corvette suspension and brakes and an LS9 backed by a 4L80E is not cool.  Neither is a '70's T/A with an LS motor, DSE front and rear subframes, rack&pinion steering, a four-link rear suspension with a narrowed 9" Ford rear end. You buy an old car because it's OLD, because it's totally different from what's NEW. You buy it because you love it's charachter, flaws and all. Sometimes the flaws are what makes them great. '60's and '70's Porsche 911s are beasts that don't suffer fools lightly. If your not a skilled driver with balls of steel, at track day or on a country road, let off the gas in a curve and they'll swap ends on you sending you into the ditch or worse. ( That's what happened to Paul Walker and his pal, even all the electronic nannies in the world can't save you if you push a 911 too hard ). Indy 500 winner Danny Ongais responded when asked by Car and Diver- "How do you corner fast in your 911 Turbo?" He responded- "I don't corner fast in my 911 Turbo". Porschephiles are proud of this. Either your a man or a mouse. If you don't like the way they handle then don't buy one. "Drivability?"  Get a Jag or a Ferarri, candy-ass. Check out the Porsche enthusiast magazines.  You NEVER, EVER see a 1969 911S with a modern 3.6 fuelie engine, and suspension with all the electronic nannies that the factory has added since the '80's to keep yuppies from wrecking them and make-them more user-friendly. Now, you may see a 1971 911T with headers, two Weber carbs, some hot cams, Koni shocks and Mini-Lite wheels mounting larger, stickier tires, but that's still keeping the faith and improving the car's performance within reasonable parameters. You'll never see one with a 2010 Cayman powertrain and suspension. Yet you see '70 Charger R/T's and '70 Z/28's and '68 GTOs all desecrated with modern fuelie motors and more. Why?  The Porsche guys aren't "Lone Wolves" either. Got to a Jag club meeting or an Aston-Martin owners show-n-shine or a Ferarri club meeting. Again-you will NEVER see a "Goldfinger" DB5 with a V8 out of 2006 Vantage or a '70's Volante with a V12 out of a Vanquish. You won't see a 1973 Ferarri 246 Dino with a 2007 F430 engine and tranny in it;s ass end. Ditto for a Pantera owner's club. You may see some Edelbrock aluminum heads, or even a 429 swapped in place of the 351; but you'll NEVER, EVER see a Pantera with a blown 5.4 Mod Motor out of 2011 GT500 Mustang. They tweak 'em with carb,or fuel-injection ,cam and exhaust tuning, they play with shocks and sway bars and wheels and tires. You might see some Brembo calipers and cross-drilled rotors, but the cars aren't butchered beyond redemption. They have all their original charm with a litlle more grunt and grip. Even Datsun Z guys are the same. You'll see some headers and Weber carbs, or maybe a 5-speed out of a '78 280 in a '73 240, but you won't see a 2009 350Z motor and tranny in one. Sports car guys respect the old iron and want to preserve them for future generations. They get it. Like I've said before-you don't buy a WWII Vintage Colt .45 and put laser sights on it. If you play with airplanes you don't buy a P51 fighter plane and put a jet engine in it. You don't have to say it guys. I'm already looking for a 1968-73 911 ( with the small bumpers and no smog equipment; '74 and later models had big 5-mph bumpers and like American cars of the same vintage, ever-tightening emission controls ). And I'll be giving the "finger" to every '65 Mustang with an '80s "5.0" powertrain that I pass. Mastermind      

A "Movie Car" Tribute doesn't haven't to be exact to the nth degree....

We've talked a lot about musclecars in movies, and a lot of people have wanted to copy them. Well, if you want a copy of a movie car-it doesn't have to be exact. For example-A fastback '67-68 Mustang painted Dark Highland Green with Torq-Thrust mags looks just like the Iconic "Bullitt" Mustang. Even if it's a 289 / automatic instead of a 390 / 4-speed.  An Alpine White '70 Challenger R/T with Rallye Wheels will pass for a "Vanishing Point" clone, even if it's a 340 or a 383 with an automatic. It doesn't have to be a 440 / 4-speed. Hell, a 318 version will pass to  most people. A black '77-78 Trans-Am will do-it doesn't have to be a t-topped SE model for people to get the "Smokey and the Bandit" vibe. Any '73 Mustang fastback painted yellow with black stripes can be an "Eleanor" clone-even a 302 verson. It doesn't have to be a Mach 1. A Brown '71-'72 LTD sedan with black wheels, chrome lug nuts, and white letter tires will pass for a clone of "Gator's" "Whiskey Runner" in White Lightning. Even if it has a 2bbl 400C and an FMX. It doesn't have to be a 429 / 4-speed. Any '73-74 Pontiac Ventura painted silver with moon hubcaps can be a "Seven-Ups" clone. Even if it's not a hatchback or has a Chevy engine. See what I'm saying?  A '68-72 Nova painted flat black with Rally wheels an a skull on the hood can pass for Kurt Russel's "Death Proof" ride. It doesn't have to have a 10-point cage, fiberglas buckets, and a B&M Star Shifter. You can have fun and honor your favorites without spending a mint. It's weird-but I'd like to have a black, flourescent striped, "''Nite Package" '78-79 Bronco like the killer pimp "RamRod" ( played by Wings Hauser) had in "Vice Squad". They had no power and got crappy gas mileage, but man they looked cool. And hey-with an Edelbrock Performer intake, carb and cam package, some headers and loud exhausts, a shift kit and some "33" inch BFG's, I'd be more badass than "RamRod"ever dreamed.......Just a thought. Mastermind  

RIP Paul Walker...

Sad news this week. Paul Walker, star of the ":Fast and Furious" movies and several others was killed in a car crash this week. Even sadder-the poor bastard wasn't driving, a friend was. He was a passenger when his buddy lost control of a Porsche 911 and hit a telephone pole. Apparently they were going very fast, and the car exploded into a fireball and they both burned to death. Horrible. He was only 40, and according to everyone who knew him was a great guy. He organized charities for children in third-world countries and tried to help under-priveliged people all over the world.  Even though gossipers said he and Vin Diesel butted heads over creative differences during the filming of the "F&F" movies and even came to blows once, Diesel cried uncontrollably at his funeral and said he had lost a very good friend. They were working on "F&F 7" at the time. Hopefully the producers will have class enough to just bag it and say "We had a helluva run"  Diesel is a good actor, and in the previews it looked like tough-guy Jason Statham had joined the fray, but when the freaking star dies, you have to give up. Anyhow, he was a good actor, a gearhead and an all-around good guy according to everyone who knew him. May he rest in Valhalla. Mastermind  

Why is everybody so F%^&ing Stupid?!!!

If you saw the Puppet Comedy "Team America" your laughing right now. The Kim Jong Il Puppet screams at his cabinet "Why is everybody so F^&*ing stupid?!!"  I feel that way when trying to buy and sell musclecars. I'm trying to sell my Hurst / Olds. It has a ZZ4 Chevy crate engine in it with less than 5,000 miles on it. It needs a new vynil top and the swivel seats recovered. But it's straight and rust-free, runs like a scalded cat, and everything including the tach and the 8-track tape player works. I'm also including the original numbers-matching 455 Olds engine and BOP bolt-pattern TH400 tranny. And I'm only asking $6,500 for it. Think-the virgin one of 1,097 ever made 442 / H / O body is worth five grand if it's worth a nickel. The ZZ4 crate engine is worth $5,200 according to Summitt Racing. And your getting the original engine and tranny too. That's a screaming deal for anyone who wants a 442 or maybe has a Camaro or Corvette they need a motor for too. You should hear the moronic comments I've gotten from some people. "Gee, the paint is kind of faded." "The seats need to be recovered."  Yeah!!!!  If it was a frame-off resto ready for the cover of Musclecar Review or the Concours show circuit I'd be asking 25 grand for it instead 6 you moron!!!  Here's a couple more of my personal favorites. A friend of mine called on a '68 Chevelle that was for sale. He asked what engine it had. "It's a small-block" the guy on the phone sneered. "Ok, is it a  307, 327 or 350?" "How should I know?" "It's your car."  "What transmission does it have?" "An automatic." "Is it a Turbo 350 or a Powerglide?" "What does that mean?"  "Is it a two-speed or a three speed?"  "I SAID it's an automatic!!" "Are you stupid?"  "Apparently so, for trying to deal with an asshole like you."  Click.  Another good one was a friend who called on a 1972 Olds 442. "Is it a W30?"  "I think so." "Either it is or it isn't" "How would I tell? Does it have an aluminum intake manifold and Ram Air ducting to the hood?" "I don't know." "But it is a 455?" "No it's a 350." "Then it can't be a W30," "Why not?" "Because the W30 package is only available with a 455." "Maybe it's a W31." "No, because the W31 350 was only available in F85 and Base Cutlass models from 1968-70." "It was never an option on the 442."  "Maybe it's a W32." A W32 is a 455." "Where are you getting these option codes.?" I read about them in a magazine." "And their on the build sheet for your car?"  "No." "Ok, thanks we'll call back."  "Don't wait too long, this car won't last." "Don't think anybody's fighting with machetes for a 442 with a 350." "We'll chance it."  "Your loss."  These people aren't only ignorant, their arrogant and flippant. Like Ron White says-"You can't fix stupid."  Mastermind 

Eleanor's Bitch Sister......

Ford Purists sometimes turn up their noses, but I always liked the 1971-73 Mustangs, mainly because of Action Movies when I was a kid. Sean Connery led the baddies on a great chase through Las Vegas in the Bond flick "Diamonds Are Forever" if a red '71 Mach 1 fastback. Bikini clad Jill St John got my attention too. Then Jan-Micheal Vincent had a red '72 Mach 1 that was blown up in the finale of  the Charles Bronson classic "The Mechanic". And who could forget "Eleanor" the Yellow 1973 Mach 1 that H.B. Halicki piloted through 90 minutes of automotive mayhem in the original "Gone in 60 Seconds?"  I saw one on a Mustang website that-I'd sell my soul for-if I had any left to sell-( the Judge, two Trans-Ams, two Harleys, two Venturas, and the Hurst / Olds took most of it ) Any how this was a '71 Boss 351 with a 4-speed and 3.91 gears. It was red with black stripes and a blacked out hood and black front and rear spoilers. It had 17" American Racing Torq-Thrust mags shod with 275 / 40ZR17 Falken rubber all the around for maximum handling traction, although the seller said he had the original 15" Magnum 500s shod with 235 / 60R15 BFG T/A's for show duty as well. If you don't know-the Boss 351 had 11.3:1 compression, a hot solid-lifter cam, and an aluminum high-rise intake . This bumped output from the standard 351CJ's 285 hp to 330. Right off the showroom floor they'd run 13 second 1/4 miles and except for maybe a Pontiac Trans-Am handled better than anything else on the planet. Until the current Boss 302 debuted in 2011 this was arguably the best balanced Mustang ever. Yes, I know 428CJ Mach 1s are quicker in the 1/4 but their so nose-heavy that they corner like a UPS truck. No, the Boss 351 is like Jule's Wallet from "Pulp Fiction"- it has "Bad Mot$#%cker" written all over it. Or as I would call it-Eleanor's Bitch Sister. I want one. Except their were only 1,806 ever made and they usually sell for $40,000  on up. The guy wanted $58,000 for this one. Bummer. However.....On the same Website I saw a red an black 1972 Mach 1 with the 266 hp 351CJ, a 4-speed and 3.50:1 gears for $12,900!!!  I have a guy that's supposed to buy the H / O. If that happens, I could buy the Mach 1, add some aluminum Edelbrock heads and Performer RPM intake, a hot Crane Cam, some headers, some 16" Center Lines with 245 / 50 ZR16 Comp T/A's.....I think I'll call her "Priscilla".....anyone that cheats on Elvis is a Queen Bitch badder than the Mama in "Aliens".  Much more appropiate than "Eleanor". I might have some soul left to sell after all......Or not. But we all have some unattainable bitch we fantasize about. Mine is 41 years old and weighs 3,400 lbs.....Mastermind