A "Vanishing Point" redux could fly...If they stick to the Original Script....

Someone asked me the other day if I thought a "Vanishing Point" remake would be a good Idea. I said both yes and no. No because the original was so freakin' good. Barry Newman and Cleavon Little were awesome as Kowalski and "Super Soul". The action-choreagraphed by Carey Loftin-( stunt coordinator of "Bullitt"-the grandadday of all car-chase flicks ) still looks good today, and the soundtrack featuring music by Mountain, Jerry Reed, Kim Carnes, Rita Coolidge-( then in Delaney and Bonnie and Friends, before she met Kris Kristofferson ) Big Mama Thornton and more-would be almost impossible to improve on. Also because a 1997 attempt starring Viggo Mortenson was horrible. They totally changed the story-I've gone over this before-so I'll be brief for those who don't know-instead of trying to get from Denver to San Francisco in 15 hours to win a bet with his drug dealer, they had Kowalski racing home to his pregnant wife who was dying from Lupus and childbirth. 1st off gag me with this cutesy supposedly heart-wrenching plot. Secondly, park the car and get on an airplane, stupid!! Thirdly, they implied that Kowalski somehow bailed out of the car at 100 mph before hitting the bulldozers and survived to raise his kid happily ever after. Again-Gag. Now if someone wanted to do it right all you'd have to do is stick to the basic storyline. Kowalski could be a Iraq or Afghanistan vet ( instead of Vietnam ) who busted out being a cop, dabbled in auto racing and now had a job as a delivery driver for a high-end car dealer. He could bet his drug dealer / buddy the tab for some weed or speed that he could make the trip in 15 hours. He could be driving a 707 hp Hellcat Challenger, or a 470 hp R/T. The race with the Jaguar would fly-you could use a 550 hp F-Type. "Super Soul" could still be a blind, black clairvoyant DJ running an outlaw station in the Nevada desert-who feels a real connection to Kowalski and genuinely wants him to make it. ( As long they don't cast freaking Kevin Hart!! Like Alan Arkin said in Grudge Match-he's short and annoying. ) His life could be shown in flashbacks like the original-including his wife dying in a surfing accident, him fighting the war, dealing with a corrupt partner as a cop, etc. And let's have the naked motorcycle rider that offers Kowalski a joint and a roll in the hay be actually naked-( like the original, not in a t-shirt and shorts and combat boots like they did in the awful remake. )  And forget CGI-do the finale the way Loftin did the original-tow a car with explosives under the hood behind the camera car with a quick-release cable and really smack it into the bulldozers at 80-plus. Kowalski dying in a blaze of glory was poetry. Leave it at that. No room for a sequel. If they do that-they might have a big hit on their hands. But if they sissify the story or try to leave room for a sequel it'll flop. With Hollywood you never know-they butchered "The Mechanic" a few years ago-and even though Arthur Bishop and Steve McKenna both died in the original-they made it look like Bishop survived and now their doing another one. Stop. Please. I personally like Jason Statham as an actor-but no one should have attempted to top Charles Bronson as a morally conflicted Hitman. Just like Jeff Bridges is a good actor-but shouldn't have tried to match John Wayne in the True Grit remake-which sucked-by the way.  We can hope for the best.  Mastermind    

More BAMF movie musclecars......

Had some people call me out for overlooking a few badass musclecars that appeared in movies and T.V. Some I agree I shouldn't have overlooked, others not so much. Anyhow here's the list. # 1. How could I forget "Gator McLuskey's" '71 Ford LTD whiskey runner? With Super Bee style black steel wheels and chrome lug nuts and white letter tires, and a 429 with a Hurst Competition Plus shifted Top-Loader 4-speed-( except for the scenes when Burt or Jennifer Billingsley obviously use an automatic column-shifter ) the "Brown See-dan" definitely qualifies for "BAMF" status.  # 2. How could I forget Popular Hot Rodding's legendary Yellow '57 Chevy-"Project X" that had a 350 with a 6-71 Blower on it driven by Tony Danza in "Hollywood Knights"?  And the 427 Cobra driven by the "Chinese Bandits" was pretty cool too. # 3. "Eleanor". The Yellow 1973 Mach 1 Mustang that H.B. Halicki piloted to cinematic immortality-to quote Tracie Thoms in "Death Proof"-in the original "Gone in 60 seconds" not that Nic Cage / Angelina Jolie Bullshit". It survived through 40 minutes of automotive mayhem not equalled before or since. That's got to be worth something. # 4. How often do you see an Orbit Orange 455 powered 1970 GTO Judge in a movie? This was the other star of "Two-Lane Blacktop", driven by Warren Oates. And gearheads hate to admit it-but in their flat-out cross-country race to Washington DC-the 455 / TH400 / 3.08:1 geared Highway Friendly Judge would have smoked the tunnel-rammed, 4-speed, 4.56:1 geared 1/4 mile warrior '55. Just saying. # 5. You don't often see a Carousel Red RAIII '69 Judge in a movie either. However this was the star of the inane comedy "Sex Drive." Unless you count the incredibly sexy Amanda Crew who spent most of the movie barefoot in short-shorts and a tight tank-top. ( This stems from a weird sub-plot about good karma from throwing shoes in a tree. ) Personally-if I was the director of a dipshit / car chase / coming of age comedy, I wouldn't need a scientific reason to keep the hot female lead barefoot and scantily clad for the entie pic. Precedent setting- References: "White Lightning" and "Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry."  Plus Seth Green is hilarious as a wise-ass Amish Mechanic who helps them repair the Judge after a highway breakdown. #6. "The Rockford Files." This action series about a Private Eye named Jim Rockford that ran from 1974-81 starred James Garner and initially a Gold '74 Pontiac Firebird Formula 400. They ususally had decent car-chase action in most episodes. They went through several different Firebirds over the years. Some base models, some Formulas with the scooped hood and some with or without rear spoilers. I guess the producers figured since they were all gold with Rally II wheels, no one would notice. Well we did. # 7. Sorry "Knight Rider" fans-can't get excited about a 305 powered '82 T/A that wheezed out 165 hp ( and that's if it had "Cross-Fire Injection", 4bbl models only had 145 hp!!! ) couldn't smoke the tires on dry pavement and had a talking computer with an annoying accent, and a pre-"Baywatch", mullet-wearing, wooden acting David Hasselhof for a driver. Just can't do it.  #8. Sorry "Starsky&Hutch"  fans. Same here. The show had good writing, good action, and great chemistry between stars David Soul and Paul Michael Glaser. I just can't get too excited over a '76 Gran Torino with bench seats and an anemic 2bbl 351M under the hood. The red and white paint job and slot mags tried to make it look like a hot rod. Didn't work. If Jim Parsons- ( Sheldon on the "Big Bang Theory" ) dons a sport coat, Ray-Bans and a .44 Magnum-your not going to believe that he's "Dirty Harry". Just like no one besides Tom Cruise thinks Tom Cruise is "Jack Reacher". I didn't think Sally Field was very convincing as an enraged vigilante in an "Eye for an Eye". Then again-Charles Bronson would have made a lousy Flying Nun.  Sorry, getting off on a rant there. Anyhow-regarding "Starsky& Hutch"-liked the show, never thought the car was that cool. Mastermind                  

The baddest movie musclecars.....

Someone asked me the other day to rate the baddest movie musclecars. I aim to please, but I took that to mean what the cars could do in real-world performance, which might change the rankings from people's perceptions. # 1. Has to be the BAMF '55 Chevy that starred in both "Two-Lane Blacktop" and "American Graffiti" with minor changes. This car was built in 1970 and featured a straight front axle, a fiberglas tilt front end, and a 12:1 tunnel-rammed 454 backed by a muncie 4-speed. This was a "10 second car" before Vin Diesel was born. # 2. The "California Kid". The Iconic '34 Ford with the black,red and orange flamed paint job built by Pete Chapouris for the movie starring Martin Sheen and Vic Morrow is still around. It still appears at car shows. It's simple, but it works. A pumped-up 302 backed by a C4 is both powerful and bulletproof, and in a light '34 Ford, rocks then and now. 'Nuff Said.  # 3. A 440, 4-speed, 4.10 geared '70 Challenger R/T has to rank pretty high. I know Mopar-ites want to rank it # 1, but do you really think Kowalski's Challenger could out run the badass Rat-motored '55 from Two-Lane blacktop, or the lightweight "California Kid in a drag race?"  # 4. "Milners small-block Chevy powered '32 from "American Graffiti" has to get some respect. We know it couldn't beat the Rat-motored '55. The Challenger from "Vanishing Point" or the similar power-to-weight ratio "California Kid?" That's open to debate. But reputation matters as much here as performance, so I'm not going to argue. # 5. Ford guys are going to be pissed, but according to stunt coordinator Carey Loftin-the 440, 4-speed '68 Charger would leave the 390 / 4-speed Mustang so badly, that they couldn't even film it. Star Steve McQueen was furious. Loftin and head mechanic Max Balchowski hopped up the camera car with headers and an Edelbrock intake, a Holley carb, and a Mallory distributor. Much to their dismay-the Charger would still outrun it-but McQueen and Stunt double Bill Hickman could stay close enough to film it!!  Loftin said the main challenge was taking parts off the other cars to keep the camera car running. The Charger, with torsion bar front suspension and a Dana 60 rear end, had no problems other than throwing hubcaps while bounding over the streets of San Francisco at speeds up to 115 mph. If you watch the movie closely, the Charger loses 8 hubcaps during the chase. The Mustangs were constantly ripping through shock towers, and falling apart. That's why only one or two of the five "Bullitt" Mustangs are known to exist today. The others were crushed as junkers after filming!  # 6. All that aside, we have to include the Highland Green '68 Mustang Fastback from "Bullitt" simply because with it's loud exhaust, Torq-Thrust mags, and all chrome trim removed, it looked and sounded so fucking cool. And with it's open rear end and lead-foot McQueen driving, it lit one-tire fires better than anything before or since. # 7. It's demise was shown every week in the opening credits of the Lee Majors hit stuntman-turned-bounty-hunter series "The Fall Guy"-but you gotta love the yellow 440 '69 Charger from "Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry." And the barefoot, hip-hugger jean,bursting halter-top clad Susan George. Or turn in your man card. Period. # 8. Scoff if you want, but the 400 powered black Trans-Ams driven by Burt Reynolds in "Smokey and the Bandit" were the fastest cars available at the time. And Burt and director / buddy / Stunt coordinator Hal Needham made the most of them and sold hundreds of thousands of cars for Pontiac from '77-79. I know some people are going to bitch about a few omissions-but I don't care and here's why. I didn't include the "Dukes of Hazzard" Charger because we all know they wrecked 216 '68-70 Chargers during the series run, and many of them were 318 / Automatics. As far as I know only GL #26-built by stunt coordinators to beat a Traco-engined "Knight Rider" '82 T/A in a friendly race with the "Knight Rider" stunt crew-had a pumped 440 and a beefed-up suspension. I'm not going to worship a bunch of clunker, 318, 2bbl automatic cars whose main function was to crash well!!  Ditto for the "Fast&Furious" movies. I'm going to go "Stuntman Mike" here. ( The deranged car-driving serial killer played by Kurt Russel in Quentin Tarantino's "Death Proof" ). He said he hated CGI and longed for the "Bullitt" days, the "Vanishing Point" days,-when you had great men doing great thing's with great cars. He's right. The Charger in the "F&F" movies had a fake blower and a 350 Chevy under the hood!!! And pulled the front wheels with the help of hydraulic jacks!!  Vin Diesel's Chevelle had a 502 and a TH400-( not a 4-speed like they showed in the movie ) but it had 500 lbs of lead in the rear bumper to make it wheelie. Even the Grand National-had a 350 Chevy and a TH400 powertrain-and the body was mounted backwards to make it look like he was going so fast in reverse!!  Not the same as McQueen and Hickman going 115 through San Francisco or Carey Loftin jumping the creek in a Challenger that was stock except for Koni shocks and cranking up the torsion bars!!  Or Robert Mitchum actually flipping a '50 Ford in "Thunder Road".  Mastermind          

R.I.P. Muhammad Ali....Truly the Greatest....

Unless you live in a cave-you probably know by now that the world is a little bit less cool place after the death of Muhammad Ali. Ali was as much a part of the '60's and '70's as our revered musclecars and he changed the world for the better for a lot of people, both black and white, which is why I felt compelled to comment. He was born in 1942 and his birth name was Cassius Marcellus Clay. He won a gold medal at the Olympics in 1960 at age 18 and then turned pro. In 1964, he upset Sonny Liston-a fearsome champion-and became heavyweight champion of the world. Shortly after he converted to Islam and changed his name to Muhammad Ali. If I wasn't a stupid kid when I was a teenager-I could be a millionaire now. A friend of my mother's had gotten me his autograph before the Liston fight. I had it framed and hung on my bedroom wall for years. It was signed "Cassius Clay." How much would that be worth now? Sadly I lost it in 1977 when my family moved from California to Nevada. Anyhow-Ali was a gifted athlete 6'3" and 210 lbs, he had the speed of a Welterweight. He could dodge an opponent's punches without even putting his hands up and make them look like a fool. And when he threw combinations-violence has never looked so good. He was undefeated in 29 fights. Then, in 1967-he was drafted and refused induction into the Army on religious grounds. He was stripped of his title and not liscenced to box anywhere in the United States. This was pure racism. Quakers and Amish didn't have to go to war when they claimed it was against their religion. But they were white. And denying him his liveliehood? If a Quaker truck driver protested being drafted, would they have pulled his driver's liscence? Bruce Springsteen ran off to Canada to avoid going to Viet Nam and Gerald Ford pardoned him in 1975. By 1985, he was screaming "Born in the USA" at Republican rallies. Asshole. What did Ali get? He lost three years of his career from 1967-1970 while the supreme court jerked off with his case. Everyone knows the age of 25-28 is a boxers absolute prime. He's still young and physically gifted; but he has experience and toughness too. We will never know how great Ali might have been. The fact that he went three years without fighting or income, and waited for the Supreme Court's decision showed what a great American he was, and that he believed in the American Justice system. Think about this. He could have easily fled to Canada or Europe. European fight promoters doubtless would have paid him millions to fight in London, Rome, Berlin, etc and risk his title. Roman Polanski made movies in Europe for years after fleeing the U.S. to avoid child-molestation charges. He didn't. He waited and won. Ironically-he had some of his most legendary fights when he was over 30 and past his prime. Going 12 rounds with Ken Norton with a broken jaw. Upsetting George Foreman to regain the title in Zaire. The "Thrilla in Manila" with Frazier. The comeback against Earnie Shavers. Winning the title an unprecedented an unequalled since third time in 1978 against Leon Spinks. He retired from boxing in 1981 but continued to be in the public eye. In the '90's he lit the Olympic Torch. In the 2000's after September 11th he railed against the terrorists and said on national TV-"You know me as a famous boxer." Islam is a religion of peace." "These people do not represent 99.99% of the people who practice Islam." "If I wasn't Ill with Parkinson's disease, I would fight these people personally as hard as I fought anybody in the ring." He negotiated the release of Hostages from Islam extremists. Till the end he visited children's hospitals and performed magic tricks for them. Sylvester Stallone says he wrote "Rocky" after watching his fight with Chuck Wepner in 1975. If you saw the movie-who hasn't?- "Apollo Creed"-played brilliantly by Carl Weathers-was a thinly disguised Ali. Joe Frazier-Ali's ring nemesis-had a cameo in the film-taunting Creed-at the Rocky fight-saying "Stop Ducking me." Weathers responded-"You next,Joe,You next Joe!"  Stallone and Ali both always said Ali got a big kick out of that.  Anyhow-like him or not-you have to admit-he had a big influence on a whole generation of people. Mastermind  

I have met the baddest mofo on the planet...And his number is Z06.....

A friend of my dad's came to visit yesterday and he was driving a 2016 Z06 Corvette. Of course he let the old man and me and my brother take it for a spin. 650 hp and 650 lbs ft of torque. This is far and away the fastest, most powerful car I've ever driven. It would suck up and spit out a 600hp Nissan GTR or a 674 hp Roush Mustang. I know, because I've driven them too. Their startlingly fast, but they pale in comparison to the Z06. I hit it going up a freeway on ramp, and it went sideways at 40 mph. I waited until I was going 70 on a long straight stretch of freeway. I floored it, and the car SPUN the tires for ten feet and rocketed to 120 mph before I could blink or let off the throttle!! You look at the gas pedal at any speed and it rips the tires and rockets to waaayyy over the speed limit. The brakes are like a Formula One car. You have to learn a light touch, or you'll put yourself through the windshield. No matter how fast your going, you can stop instantly. The handling is in another league. Put the suspension in sport mode, and it's firm, but not bone-jarring, and it's like driving a big go-kart. It responds right now to the slightest driver's input. And unlike a Porsche 911 Turbo which doesn't suffer fools lightly-it's a forgiving car. Let off the gas or inadvertandtly hit the brakes in a turn and it just slows down. No histrionics or end-swapping as the suspension unloads. A moron could drive this car and look like the long-lost Andretti brother. GM hit it out of the park with this one. If I bought one I'd have to get a personalized liscence plate. It would be simple. KNG KONG. Anyone who thinks I'm exaggerating-go test drive one and then talk crap. Like Clint says-"Go Ahead, Make My Day." Mastermind    

Even in the early '70's Political Correctness ruined things.....

I read an article today about some stuntmen and car buffs that worked on the Car-Chase Cult Classic "Vanishing Point" that were angry at Chrysler Corporation. Their were five Alpine White 1970 Challenger R/T's lent to the movie company for filming. Four were 440 / 4-speeds and and one-the camera car-was a 383 / Torqueflite. Star Barry Newman said the 440s were monsters, but that he also loved the camera car. He said- "You'd put that Hurst shifter into first and pop the clutch and it would almost rear back." "Those cars were like a locomotive. They just kept pulling and going faster." "The camera car was a 383 automatic, but it was no slouch." "It was really quick too." "Honestly-I think that 383 would run just as fast as the 440s." Stunt coordinator Carey Loftin said the cars were basically stock-except for cranking up the torsion bars and adding Koni shocks to the one he jumped the creek in. Loftin also said that by the end of filming all the cars were basically junk, and he was taking parts off the others to keep the camera car running. And everyone knows he towed a junk 1967 Camaro with dynamite under the hood and an impact-sensitive switch in the bumper behind the camera car toward the bulldozers, and used a quick-release cable to make it look like Kowalski actually drove into the bulldozers. It was a spectacular crash-, but if you look closely at the wreckage-you can see that it's a Camaro, not a Challenger. Some of the guys who worked on the film wanted to buy the cars. Obviously-thinking it would be cool and profitable-years later someone paid over 100k for a Trans-Am that Burt Reynolds drove in "Smokey&The Bandit." However-some Chrysler executive has a hissy fit because he thought the film glorified drug use and running from the police, and not only refused to sell the cars, but demanded they be shipped back to Hammtrack and crushed!!  To quote Patrick Swayze taunting Marshall Teague in "Road House"-"You are such an asshole."  It's probably the same guy who caved into a few griping Christian groups that complained about the little smiling Devil-with-a-pitchfork decals and the "Demon" name on Dodge's cooler 1971-72 version of the Duster 340. The "Speed Demon" emblems were nixed and the name changed to "Dart Sport" for 1973. Ugh. Anyhow-if anyone claims to own a surviving "Vanishing Point" car-according to Stunt coordinator Carey Loftin and director Richard Sarafian-both unfortunately decaesed now-their lying because they were all crushed by Chrysler. At least the "California Kid" lives on.....Mastermind    

"Little Brothers" can be both affordable and fun....

All the buff magazine's glorify the premium big-block cars, and with good reason. They are awesome performers. However this has driven prices so high that "Joe Average" can't have a musclecar. I don't have an extra $25,000+ laying around to spend on a second or third car that I'd only drive on weekends. I know-first thing everyone is going to say is "You said you were a mechanic, you don't have to buy a frame-off restoration, buy something that needs work and fix it yourself."  Ok.  Forget the cover of a magazine-I don't have an extra $10,000 to spend on something that needs another 10k worth of work just to make it reliable and road-worthy. The solution to this problem is to lower your sights a little. For example-Chevrolet built 243,000 Camaros in 1969. Out of that total only 19,000 were Z/28 models and about another 13,000 were SS396 models. That means the other roughly 210,000 cars sold that year were base models. Which isn't a bad thing. 68,000 or so had 307 2bbl V8s. The other 140,000 or so ( except for a few strippy 6 cylinder models) were 350s. We all know there's more speed equipment available for the Small-Block Chevy than anything else on the planet. It would be much easier and cheaper to buy or build a decent base model '69 Camaro than it would be to chase after a restored or needing work, but still grossly overpriced Z/28 or SS396. This isn't an isolated example. Of the 400,000+ V8 Chevelles that Chevrolet built in 1968-only 58,000 were SS396 models. Ford built 299,000 Mustangs in 1969. Only 1,628 were Boss 302s and only 13,193 were 428CJ models. That means the other 285,000 ( again excepting a few 6-cylinder strippys ) were 302 or 351W powered. Which certainly isn't a problem-there's just as much speed equipment available for small-block Fords as there is for Chevys or anything else. Of the 113,000 Firebirds Pontiac built in 1969, only 697 were Trans-Ams. That leaves 112,000 others with either 350 or 400 V8s.  Of the 81,000 Road Runners Plymouth produced in 1969-over 77,000 were 383 powered. Think they'll be a little cheaper to buy than the remaining 1,000 or so 426 Hemis and 2,000 or so 440 / Six-Packs??  See a common thread here?  The bottom line is-if you don't "gotta have" the absolute top of the line, you can still find a bargain and have a cool ride without re-financing your house or winning the lottery. Mastermind