I agree with "Stuntman Mike"....

In Quentin Tarantino's "Death Proof" "Stuntman Mike" is played with evil glee by Kurt Russel. He gets his jollies by stalking women and then killing them with his car in "accidents". He has a great monologue educating Rose McGowan before taking her on a deadly ride. He laments how modern movies are all CGI and the stuff they do in them is impossible and stupid. He longs for the "Vanishing Point" days, the "Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry days, White Line Fever days, when you had great men doing great things with great cars.  I agree with him wholeheartedly. The "Fast&Furious" movies were ok through the first 4. Putting lead in the Chevelle's bumper to make it wheelie-that was innovative and cool.  From 5 onward they've gotten progessively worse and more insane. Jumping the Lamborghini or McClaren or whatever it was from skyscraper to skyscraper?  Come on. Bringing down a 747 size jet with cars? Please. Now the producers of the "F&F" movies are advertising "Hobbes&Shaw" starring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and Jason Statham who were a federal agent and a criminal in previous "F&F" installments. In this flick their working together to stop Idris Elba who obviously has some Dr Evil plan for world domination or whatever. I've only seen previews but it looks awful. Unless the target audience is 12 year old boys-why waste your time putting something impossible on screen?  Even in fight scenes-guy jumps 6 feet in the air, rotates his body clockwise, kicks 3 guys in the face, does a backflip and lands on his feet. It can't be done,we know it can't be done, and we know the actor isn't doing it, so why put it on screen?  Whether it was Chuck Norris or Steven Seagal, or Jean-Claude Van Damme, or even Jackie Chan-it might not have always looked pretty, but you knew they were actually doing it, which made it cool no matter how lame the story line was. Jason Statham is a talented martial artist but going back to the "Transporter" movies-one guy is not going to take out 10 guys single-handedly.  I've been a Golden Gloves boxer and I've dabbled in kick-boxing. Whatever your art-boxing, Tae-Kwon-do, Muay Thai, etc-if your really good you can take out two guys pretty easily. 3 if their drunk or stupid. In the real world if 4 or more people decide to stomp your ass-you will get your ass kicked, and probably gravely injured. In the preview for Hobbes&Shaw they show Statham taking out like 10 guys in a hallway. Puhleeze. Film makers have been guilty of this forever. I know Chuck Norris took on a whole bar in "Silent Rage" which was made way back in 1982. It was awful. 20 guys standing around politely waiting their turn to get their ass kicked one by one. At least Norris tried to improve. By "Code of Silence" his best picture in my opinion-that was originally written for Clint Eastwood-he takes on a bar full of gangsters and gets the shit kicked out of him. More realistic. Remember the jump in "Gone in 60 Seconds?" The crappy one with Nicholas Cage. The Mustang would have been destroyed, the engine would have fell out, the shock towers would have busted through the fenders, the car would have  been totalled.  The worst offender was "Wanted". Even a briefly naked Angelina Jolie couldn't save this stinker. Shooting around corners?  Bullets only go in a straight line!! Until they hit something!!!  And the vehicle stunts?  Arrrgggghhhh!!!  In one scene Jolie is driving an '86 Corvette and James Macavoy is driving a '65 Mustang. They drive toward each other head-on. At the last second before head-on impact She slams on the brakes, he punches it. This allows the Mustang to use the 'Vette as a launching ramp and fly through the air so he can shoot someone in another car. But neither the 'Vette nor the Mustang get a scratch!!  Both cars would have been totalled and both drivers gravely injured if not killed. It's impossible, we know it's impossible, so why do it?.  That's what is so maddening. I just want to see an action flick with real, believable action. Like "Mr Majestyk" Remember that one? The chase scene was used in the "Built Ford Tough" truck ads for years.  "The Mechanic"-the original with Charles Bronson, and Jan-Micheal Vincent not the awful remake with Jason Statham and Ben Foster.  "A Small Town in Texas" with Timothy Bottoms and Bo Hopkins, and Susan George and her usual straining halter top.  Maybe someone will step up and do a badass movie old school, Stunt Man Mike style.  Mastermind   

Base model or mid-level bargains to look for......

In the frenzy to find the favorites-i.e. SS Chevelles, Z/28 Camaros, Trans-Ams, GTOs, 442s, Big-block Mopar "B" and "E" bodies, Mustang GTs, etc people often overlook screaming bargains on less than premium models. Here's some I would recommend in no particular order.  #1. Rally Sport Camaros. In the '70s the Rally Sport option was mostly an appearance package that could be had on any model including Z/28s. From 1970-73 it included a split front bumper and exposed grille as opposed to the full-length front bumper, and slotted 14" Rally Wheels. From '74 on it included two-tone paint and striping and the wheels were often body-colored. The upside being that about 95% of these had the workhorse L48 350 V8 for power. Most were TH350 automatics, but you see some 4-speed models. The 350s are so plentiful that I wouldn't waste my time or money buying a 307 or 305 model unless it was really pristine and dirt-cheap. The name took a hiatus in the early '80's but was brought back in the late '80's. These too are a bargain if you want a 3rd generation Camaro. Most have 305 power either with a T5 5-speed stick or a TH700R4 automatic. These are way cheaper than a same-year IROC-Z or Z/28.  # 2. Formula and Esprit Firebirds. Formula 400s can be pricey since they offer Trans-Am performance without the gaudy graphics and spoilers, but their still cheaper than T/A's for the most part. 350 models can be bargains and will really "wake up" with basic modifications-i.e.-4 bbl carb and intake, dual exhaust, mild cam etc. Esprit models usually have upgraded interiors and more luxury options like A/C, power windows, tilt wheel etc which is great. Most have 350 power, but there are some 400 powered Esprits out there through '74. In the late '70s GM started playing musical engines because of smog laws. From '77-79 Formula Firebirds had 301 Pontiacs,305 and 350 Chevys, 350 Pontiacs, 400 Pontiacs and 403 Olds engines. Purists of course want the 350 and 400 Pontiac models. From a performance standpoint you can't go wrong with a 350 Chevy, and the 403 Olds models can be made to really run with some basic mods-carb and intake, exhaust and an axle-ratio change. Esprit models of this period weren't available with the 400 inch engines, so the ones to get are the 350 Pontiacs and 350 Chevys. A 305 Chevy model would be ok if it was cheap enough and you planned to swap in a 350 or 383 anyway. The 301 models are useless unless their dirt cheap and you plan to drop in a 400 anyway.  These cars make great drivers and are way cheaper than a same-year T/A.  # 3. 1968-74 Plymouth Satellite. These cars were the base for the Road Runner, so they have cool styling. Quite a few are 318 powered, but there are some 383 and 400 models out there.  # 4. 1971-74 Charger SE. The "SE" package included hidden headlights, an upgraded interior, and most importantly most had 400 cubes under the long hood instead of the base-models 318. Ironically the 400s in these cars are 2bbl models, but a 4 bbl carb and intake is an easy swap.  Mastermind 

Still more car chase classics people want to re-do......

Quentin Tarantino said another of his favorite B-movie action flicks is "The Driver".  This one starred a young Ryan O' Neal as a pro getaway driver that criminals hire to help them evade the police after jobs. Bruce Dern was the detective obsessed with catching him. There's an exciting opening chase with O' Neal driving a blue Ford LTD. There's also a great scene where he demolishes a Mercedes in a parking garage while auditioning for a job, while his prospective "employers" scream like schoolgirls from the backseat.  Ronee Blakely is his "Manager" / sometime girlfriend who books his jobs and it's her murder that sends him on a quest for vengenance.  Good story, good action, good acting. Then director Walter Hill-( "48 Hrs", "Undisputed" ) screws up the final chase. O'Neal is driving a '76 Chevy Stepside pickup with a granny-gear 4-speed and the bad guy he's chasing is driving a '76 Trans-Am. Puhleeze. If the truck was a 454 it might have made a good drag race, but around corners? The T/A would leave the truck in 3 blocks, and be completely out of sight, and that's if the T/A had a 400, a TH350 automatic and 2.56:1 gears. If it was a 400 or 455 / 4-speed model with 3.23:1 gears.....then 2 blocks.  I mean the only worse mismatch I saw was in the stinker  "Wanted" where the guy in the UPS type box van chased Angelina Jolie and James Macavoy in a Dodge Viper!!  Ironically-earlier in the film O' Neal had been driving a gold '77 Firebird like the one on the "Rockford Files".  If he was chasing the T/A in that it would have been believable, especially if the Firebird had a 350 Pontiac or a 350 Chevy under the hood. ( Which some '77's did. GM played musical engines in the late '70's because of smog laws.) Anyhow-the final chase ruined it for me-the other guy wrecks the T/A, O' Neal doesn't wreck the truck of course and he gets away and leaves Dern dumbfounded.  It would be easy to do, just match the cars up right.  # 2. "The California Kid"  This 1974 made-for TV- movie was set in 1958 and made a star out of an unknown actor named Martin Sheen. It also starred Nick Nolte as the town mechanic and Michelle Phillips as a lonely waitress who befriends Sheen. Vic Morrow was the evil sheriff who chased speeders to death in his hopped-up cop car.  A speeder he killed recently was Sheen's younger brother.  Sheen dirves a hopped up '34 Ford coupe with a sinister black and flames paint job. Flame lettering on the doors says "California Kid". The car was built by the late Pete Chapouris who started Pete and Jake's auto parts. The car still exists today-in Missouri with the new owners of Pete's auto parts business. After Morrow kills Nick Nolte's little brother, he and Sheen form a plan, and lure Morrow to the deadly stretch of road where he chases Sheen, who outdrives and out runs him, causing the sheriff to crash and die like so many of his victims. You could do it that way, or you could have the "Kid" decide to forego his vengenance, and leave town with the waitress, who of course the sheriff had a thing for-and the sheriff puts out a false report that the "Kid" kidnapped the waitress. More car-chase mayhem can ensue until the "Kid" and the sheriff finally have to face off.  # 3. "Moonshine County Express"  This one starred John Saxon, Playboy Playmate Claudia Jennings, Susan Howard and Maureen McCormick. After their father is murdered by a rival moonshiner three sisters go to war with him. Saxon helps them. Lots of car chases and musclecars, Jennings shows hers boobs, there's even a bondage scene with Maureen McCormick, wearing a tank top and denim shorts, tied to a post in a barn with a bomb ticking at her feet. I mean if Marcia Brady bound and gagged won't get your freak on, then what will?  Kind of an NC-17 rated "Dukes of Hazzard" but still fun, and would still fly today with minor changes.  Anybody think of any others?  Mastermind

Other Car Chase classics people want to re-do.....

I spoke the other day how I didn't think Quentin Tarantino should attempt a "White Lightning" remake.  Someone tried to do "Vanishing Point" a few years ago and it failed miserably, mainly because they totally changed the story and tried to make it politically correct and heart-wrenching. In the original Kowalski bets his drug dealer the tab for some speed that he can make it from Denver to San Francisco in 15 hrs. That's why he's hauling ass and eluding the cops, aided by "Super Soul" a blind, clairvoyant DJ on an outlaw radio station. Simple and cool. Along the way he meets some characters including a snake hunter, some gay guys who try to rob him and a gorgeous,tanned blonde who rides a dirt bike naked. The look on Barry Newman's face when he hits the bulldozers is ethereal. That's why it has been an existential classic for 40 years. In the remake Viggo Mortenson plays Kowalski, who delivers high-end restored musclecars to elite buyers. His next run is in a 1970 Hemi Challenger. And here is where it goes off the rails. His wife is 9 months pregnant and has lupus. Gag. In the original Kowalski's wife died in a surfing accident and they had no kids. Ok, if she's sick and ready to give birth at any moment how about not go on the trip at all and stay with her?  He goes on the trip and halfway there gets the call that she's in labor and her and the baby's lives are both in danger. How about park the car and get on an airplane? That would be common sense, but the film makers had none. So he's racing home to the wife and kid. Super Soul is not only not black, he's also not blind or clairvoyant. He's played by Jason Priestly and looks like the unabomber, and instead of helping Kowalski he whips up a media frenzy that makes everyone think he's a 9/11 type terrorist. And brings out Steve Railsback-who's a maniacal highway patrolman who apparantly belives that speeding should carry the death penalty. He ditches his cop car and goes after Kowalski in his personal '68 Charger, and trys to kill him at every turn. Uber-sexy Peta Wilson of "LaFemme Nikita" fame makes a cameo as the motorcycle rider, but sadly, she's not naked or even gratuitously barefoot in a bikini. Nope she's wearing coveralls and combat boots!! She does take off the coveralls to reveal a halter top and jeans, but it doesn't have the effect of the buck naked dirt bike rider.  At the end they try to imply that Kowalski somehow bailed out of the car and escaped before it hit the bulldozers and went home to raise his kid. Gag, retch, puke.  That pretty much makes "Vanishing Point" untouchable.  Some other classics people have asked about-the grand-daddy of them all-"Bullitt".  "Bullitt" was based on the novel "Mute Witness" by Rober L. Pike.  The story was a gangster bookkeeper ripped off the mob in Chicago for a pile of money and then ran to San Francisco to cut a deal with an ambitious prosecutor and rat out the guys who were after him.  Robert Vaughn played the smarmy D.A. who recruits Detective Frank Bullitt to protect the guy until he can get the guy's statement and proceed to trial. That would all still fly today-you'd just have to change the dollar amounts. It goes sideways the first night and a cop is badly wounded and the witness is on death's door, and does in fact die later in the night. Bullitt recruits a doctor to help him hide the body in the morgue and lose the guy's chart and leave the ICU room open like the guy's still alive so he can catch the killers.  The car chase could be done with a modern Hemi Challenger and a modern 5.0 Mustang. The final shootout at the airport would still be cool. Who could play Frank Bullit? Matthew Mconaughey or Bradley Cooper come to mind, as long as they put their own spin on the character and don't try to mimic Steve McQueen. You thought Jacqueline Bisset was hot at 33 in "The Deep" ? ( Her wet t-shirt poster outsold everything that year except Farrah Fawcett in the red bathing suit )  She was only 24 when she made "Bullitt" Who's going to fill her spike-heeled pumps? Jeri Ryan ( "Seven of Nine on Star Trek Voyager, Body of Proof, Boston Legal ) is still smokin' hot. So is Eva Mendes. It could fly if it was done right, with the right people.  # 2. "Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry" This one starred Peter Fonda as an ex-race-car driver who with his mechanic, decides to pull a robbery to fund his return to NASCAR. Susan George is a one-night stand he takes along, and she spends the entire movie barefoot in hip-hugger jeans that barely cover her ass-crack and a straining denim halter-top that barely contains her magnificent, bordering on spectacular, tanned breasts. This is, if anything, a plus factor. Anyhow the robbery plot of a Wal-Mart type superstore is good and suspenseful and would still fly-again you'd just have to change the dollar amounts.  There's some good auto action early on in a '66 Chevy Caprice, but it really ramps up when they dump the Chevy and pickup the now iconic yellow '69 Charger. Vic Morrow is the cop obsessed with catching them. The final crash was used in the opening credits of "The Fall Guy" for years. Like I said once before-I see a great idea for a sequel. Change the ending and instead of everyone dying in a blaze of glory, let the cops catch them. The boys have hidden the money somewhere and won't talk. Mary claims they kidnapped and raped her and forced her to go along. The driver and the mechanic go to prison, Mary goes scot-free.  A few years later Mary is married with kids and living the dream. The guys get out of prison and track her down and want their money back. The mechanic stays with her husband and kids and the driver does kidnap her this time, and tells her he'll rape and kill her and maybe not in that order if she doesn't get him the money. Or if she pulls any shit and tries to escape or call the cops, his buddy will kill her husband and kids. The cop that caught them the first time can be on the case. I think it would be a great heist / revenge flick. I see Chris Hemsworth in the Peter Fonda role, and Scarlett Johanssen as Mary. Since Larry and Mary are now enemies you could even have a gratuitous scene in motel room of ScarJo in some ultra-strict, inescapable bondage. He can be snoozing in the bed, and she can be savagely hog-tied on the floor, blindfolded and gagged of course. She can turn the tables on him and kill him and go save her family or the cop can help her-either way she can beat them again. Or you could go the other way-her family gets killed for her past misdeeds, and she has to live with that. A lot of potential here I think.  # 3. "Thunder Road". This was the highest grossing movie of 1958 and made Robert Mitchum a big star. Mitchum played a Korean War vet who was running moosnshine for his dad while trying to stay ahead of atf agents and other moonshiners out to take his business.  You could modernize it and he could be an Afghanistan vet who still has contacts over there and is selling heroin through strip clubs and pool halls. His buddies can all be combat vets so you can have some good martial-arts action and car chases too. If he'll stop phoning in "Fast&Furious" appearances, Jason Statham is the obvious choice for Mitchum's part. Or because of his veteran status, he could have a legal marijuana dispensary and be making a little too much on the side, which gets the feds on his ass. A lot of potential here too. Mastermind