Just build your dream car the way you want it.....And save about $50,000...Or more!

I was talking to a friend the other day and he was looking through old, yellowed, dog-eared copies of Hot Rod, Car Craft, and Popular Hot Rodding from the '70's. Of course he was lamenting how the average guy could never afford some of the Ultra-cool stuff that was in these magazines. I told him we could, if we built it ourselves, and let go of the "Numbers Matching" and "Original" curse. Right off the top of my head I easily "built" four Ultra Cool hot rods for a 1/4 of what a "Real" one would cost. Here's the examples. # 1. 1964 Ford "Thunderbolt" Fairlane. Try to find one of these for under six figures. You can't. However, you could find a '63-65 289 Fairlane in decent shape for 10 grand or less pretty easily in any state in the union. Currie enterprises can hook you up with a 9 inch posi rear with the proper mounting points for under 3 grand. A Top-loader 4-speed is easy enough to find on the 'net, or through various Ford / Mustang parts suppliers. There are millions of 390 V8s in junkyards as they were used in virtually ever car and truck built from 1961-76. No it's not a 427. But all "FE" engines look alike, and Edelbrock claims 452 hp and 428 lbs of torque with their Perfomer RPM heads, cam and dual-quad intake on a 390. You'd have the look and the sound, and 450 honest hp in a 3,000 lb Fairlane would be a rocket. Harwood still sells the famous "Teardrop" hood scoop, and some Ford van buckets aren't that hard to find. Only a serious Ford collector would know it wasn't "Real" and who cares? You got the look, the performance, and you built the car for around 20K instead 100-plus and if you blow the motor-you don't give a shit-another 390 is easy to find. # 2. 1970-73 Motion Phase III Camaro. Base-model Camaros of this vintage are cheap enough. I have seen rough-but-running examples as low as $1,200 and anything over 3 grand is usually pretty decent. A 454 HO crate motor from GMPP has 440 hp and 500 lbs of torque and costs $5995. A TH350 with a shift kit, auxilary cooler and 2,500 rpm converter can stand up to a big-block of this power level, so you don't have to change trannys. 4.56:1 or 4.88:1 gears are easy enough to put in an 8.5 inch 10-bolt rear, and a Gear Vendors overdrive will reduce that to like 3.42:1 for highway cruising and give you six gears instead of three. Lakewood traction bars, Cragar Mags, Mickey Thompson tires, and the "L88" hood scoop are readily available from Summitt. The paint job is easy enough to copy, I really don't see how this one could go over 25K if you went top-notch on everything-and you got a badass, unique ride for about 1/4 of what you'd pay for a "Real" Baldwin-Motion car. # 3. 1969 Pontiac Trans-Am. Only 697 were built and you can't touch one for under 100K. I know that. But Pontiac built 115,000 V8 Firebirds in 1969, and 15 or 20 grand will buy you a damn nice one in any state in the union. Year One, Ames Performance and NPD all sell the hood, side scoops, rear spoiler and graphics. Rally II wheels are easy enough to find or you could go with Minilites or American Racing Torq-Thrusts if you wanted the period correct flavor. Edelbrock claims 387 hp and 439 lbs of torque from the basic Performer Package on a 400. That's more than the 335 and 345 hp the stock RAIII and RAIV were rated at and it still has 15 inches of vacuum at idle. That would be perfect with an automatic and very pleasant with a 4-speed, and should easily run low 13s on street tires. If you "gotta" have the RAIV sound and performance-the "Performer RPM" package has RAIV round-port heads, an exact replica of the RAIV cam and makes 440 hp and 460 lbs of torque according to Car Craft, has a badass lope, but stable idle, and makes 10 inches of vacuum at 900 rpm. Enough to operate your power brakes. I'd recommend a 4-speed or a 2,500 rpm converter and 3.73:1 gears. That would put you solidly in the 12s-and you'd have under 30K in the car. A 1/4 of what people ask for the real deal.  # 4. 1969-70 Boss 302 Mustang. Ford built over 70,000 fastback Mustangs in 1969 alone and a similar figure in 1970. Phoenix Graphics sells the graphics. Edelbrock and Trick Flow sell Cleveland style heads that will bolt-up to Windsor blocks, and Edelbrock has "E-Boss" manifolds that will work with these on a 302 or 351W block. And think of this-if you got a 347 or 392 or 427 short-block from Ford SVT-you'd have double the power of a "real" Boss 302 at a fraction of the 100k+ price tag. And you wouldn't worry about blowing it up, and would actually drive it the way it should be driven. Now that's a deal. I'm sure there's many others I missed, but you get the idea. Stop whining and go build your dream car. Mastermind      

Be honest with yourself about what you want and what your really going to do with the car....You'll be a lot happier!!

I talk to so many people who buy musclecars because of something a friend told them, or they read in a magazine and then their disappointed and either sell the car, or don't drive it much. Here's some good advice to help people avoid this pitfall. # 1. Be brutally honest about what your going to do with it. Is it going to be a Concours show car, are you going to run it in the Pure Stock drag races, or is it going to be a weekend cruiser?  Here's a perfect example-An Older gentleman I've known for years that always loved Corvettes bought an 11:1, 435 hp, solid-lifter,Tri-Power 427 / 4-speed, 4.11 geared 1969 Corvette convertible. He's disappointed that it pings even on premium with octane booster,the clutch is stiff,the engine buzzes at 3,500 rpm on the freeway and his wife burns her legs on the sidepipes every time she gets out of it. Why did he buy it? Because he has more money than brains. He wanted a convertible Stingray to cruise to Lake Tahoe and to the wine country on weekends. Now he'd be much happier with a 350 small-block L48 / TH350 model with 3.08:1 gears, or if he wanted a big block model-a low-compression, hydraulic-cammed, Q-jet carbed LS5 454 with either a 4-speed or a TH400 and 3.36:1 gears would have been a much more logical choice. Even a late-'70s model with T-tops would have served his purpose better. Luckily-since it was a pristine,desirable numbers-matching 427 model he was able to recoup his investment and on my advice is much happier with a low-mileage L48 / TH350 1978 Indy Pace Car edition with T-tops. He and his wife love it,it idles smooth and runs fine on 87 octane unleaded, the A/C blows cold, the cassette player has classic rock blasting out the t-tops and they take a fun road trip almost every weekend in the summer. But he  initially listened to other people who told him he should get the biggest,baddest, rarest model. Which brings up  # 2. Do you really want the Ultra-premium model, even if you can afford it? Think-do you really want a 1969-70 Boss 302 Mustang?  The high-compression, solid-lifter engine has very little torque below 3,000 rpm. There's a reason they were only available with a 4-speed and 3.90:1 or 4.30:1 gears!!  Most people would be much happier with a Mach 1 with the standard 351W / 351C, which is a much better street engine anyway-if your going to drive the car at all. And that's where most people screw up-there so enamored of "Resale Value"-honestly-is the primary factor in buying anything-a car, motorcycle, boat,handgun or rifle, set of golf clubs, a guitar, whatever-what it's going to be worth when you decide to get rid of it?  So you sink your life savings into a Hemi 'Challenger. And it sits in your garage and is only driven on and off the trailer or to "Show&Shines". The engine never sees the high side of 3,000 rpm because your so damnded afraid of blowing it up or wrecking it, that you can't enjoy it. Now wouldn't you be happier in a 340 or 383 model that you could pop the clutch on, smoke the tires and bang through the gears once in a while? Or take a 200 mile Sunday day trip in or a 1,000 mile trip re-tracing "Kowalski's" last ride in "Vanishing Point?" So you REALLY "Need" a Fuel-Injected Split-Window 1963 Stingray? Wouldn't a carburated 327 model up to '66 be just as much fun? Again probably more, because you'd drive it more and not worry about "damaging it".   Do you really "Gotta Have" an LS6 Chevelle? Wouldn't you have more fun in an SS396 that was less than half the price? Don't you think the guy who drag races his 400, 4-speed, WS6 1978 Trans-Am every weekend is having way more fun than the guy who looks at his 1973 SD-455 T/A in his garage because he's afraid of putting too many miles on it or wrecking it or blowing the engine?  Who's the true Pontiac Performance enthusiast?  # 3. Consider carefully the options that you do or don't want. People never think of this. For example-if your going to drive the car at all and you live in a major city that has a lot of traffic-an automatic may be a much better choice than a 4-speed. Do you really want to shift a "Rock-Crusher" through rush-hour traffic in San Francisco or Los Angeles?  If you live where it gets really hot in the summer, I'd certainly look for a car with factory A/ C.  A couple I knew bought a '57 Pontiac-mainly because they couldn't afford a '57 Chevy. They didn't like it because it had no power-the 347 2bbl V8 was a dog in the heavy car-it had no power steering,no power brakes, and a 3-on-the-tree manual trans. On my advice-I told them how great '60's Pontiacs were- they sold it and bought a 1962 Gran Prix. They absolutely loved the G/P. It had power steering and power brakes, comfortable bucket seats, an automatic transmission, and the 4bbl 389 would smoke the tires at will. Amazing at what just 5 years of evolution did. # 4. Just buy the car you want-it's easier and cheaper in the long run. I know a guy who bought a 1988 IROC-Z Camaro. It had the Corvette L98 350 / 700R4 powertrain. It was a nice car, and it was fast for being bone-stock. His buddy had a 1989 Formula Firebird with the LB9 305 / T5 five-speed combo. Even though the Camaro was faster in a drag race-he liked his buddy's car better because the stick was much more fun to run through the gears. He started asking me what it would cost to put a stick in the Camaro. I told him it was possible, but it would cost so much and be such a pain in the ass that he'd be better off just selling his car and using the money to buy another Camaro or Firebird with a 5-speed already in it. Another guy I know-a Mopar fan-passed up a gorgeous 1971 Dodge Demon-it had a great red and white striped paint job, a flawless white interior,the "Go-Wing" spoiler,Cragar mags with new BFG T/A radials and a healthy 340 with a 4-speed. Instead he bought a drab brown 383 automatic '70 Road Runner because his "expert" buddy told him the B-bodies were worth way more than the Duster / Dart series. Every time he saw the red Demon crusing around he'd say-"Damn!" I should have bought that." "That is a cool little car." Yes, you should have, instaed of listening to your moron buddy.  # 5. Be honest about your mechanical capabilities. Unless you are a bodyman by trade, I would avoid any car with major body or frame damage. It's just too expensive to fix. 99% of the time a "deal" isn't a deal-your better off spending a little more money and just getting a better car to start with. The same goes for mechanics. Magazine writers flippantly spout about something being a "Bolt-in" swap. Have you ever changed an engine in a car before?  Have you bought a short-block or a long block and changed the valve covers, timing cover, oil pan,intake and exhaust manifolds,fuel pump, water pump,belt pulleys, and all the wiring? Especially if changing from a small-block to a big block. Besides the motor mounts you may need a bigger radiator or heavier springs, and a heavier-duty transmission or rear end. Making a 318 'Cuda into a 440 clone? That's easy, right? After you get a big-block crossmember,larger torsion bars,swap the 8/14 rear for an 8/34 or Dana 60,swap the 904 Torqueflite for a 727, change the rear trans mount, shorten the driveshaft and change the yokes,get a bigger radiator....See what I'm saying?  Even people who buy the car they want still screw them up because they over-estimate their mechanical abilities. I see this especially with multi-carb setups. Doesn't matter if it's a Hemi 'Cuda, a 409 Impala, a Tri-Power GTO, a Six-Pack Road Runner, whatever-they all make the same mistake. They never drive the car, or if they do they drive like grandma on prozac-it never even sees 4,500 rpm-much less 5,500 or 6,000 because their so goddamnded afraid of blowing it up. Then, the second it fouls a spark plug-they start screwing around with the carburators. Pretty soon it won't even start. A better solution if it's going to sit a lot-is to go a range or two hotter on the plugs for low-speed, short town trips. If you decide to take a road trip or go to the drags-changing to the recommended heat range plug is easy. And like the GTO song says-once in a while you need to "Turn it on, wind it up, blow it out". Like I said-you don't have to redline it and powershift-but a good full-throttle run up the freeway for a few miles once a month will go a long way to keeping it in good tune. If you don't know carburators-find a reputable shop that does and pay them for the tune and weld the hood shut! You'll be better off in the long run.  Mastermind            

Some people are just never happy....The Golden Age of Musclecars is now.....

As much as I like the "Old-School" Musclecars that I write about-I get tired of a certain type of people lamenting that "They don't make 'em like they used to."  Really? Think about this. The base-model Camaro that anybody can buy for under 25k has 323 hp and runs 0-60 in under 6 seconds and the 1/4 in like 14 flat. That's faster than a 1969 Z/28 or a 1969 SS396.  And that's the basic V6 model. The 425 hp SS and 580 hp Z/28 go way beyond that. Ditto for the Mustang. The V6 model has like 319 hp and again-runs high 13s in the 1/4. The GT has 435 hp and runs high 12s off the showroom floor and costs 32K. Then there's the 662 hp Shelby GT500 with the blower.  The V6 Charger and Challenger have 300+ hp. The Hemis range from 370-707 hp if you count the blown Hellcat models.  Sorry old chaps-any of these new cars would smoke your LS6 Chevelle, Hemi 'Cuda,  428 Mach 1, etc in a "Stoplight Gran Prix" on street tires-and get 20 mpg with the a/c on while doing it!!  And the premium ones would smoke a Yenko or Baldwin-Motion Phase III Camaro, or a Shelby Mustang. I drove a Roush Mustang with 675 hp. It felt like any other Mustang. Until I hit the loud pedal. What a rocket!! This car was as close to a NASCAR racer in street clothes as you can get. And it handles and brakes way better than the stocker too. Car and Driver lamented that in the 1/4 it wasn't "substantially" faster than the 435 hp GT model. That's because the times differed depending on whether you fried the tires halfway down the strip or all the way down the strip!!. The car was going about 110 when the spinning tires finally matched the speed of the road!!  With drag radials or slicks this would easily be a low 11 second, possibly high 10 second car. It just couldn't hook up on street tires. Yet C/D acted like it was an overpriced pile of shit-that the base model was a better deal. For 99% of the population it probably is. How many times do you see some white-haired 75 year old guy in a Corvette or an Audi R8 or a Porsche 911 going 65 in the right lane on the freeway and wonder "Why did you buy the freakin' thing if your not going to go over 70??!!"   Buy 'em now while you can. They will not pass this way again... Mastermind          

Some '60's and '70's econoboxes that can be wicked fast....and "Retro-Cool"...

Early Novas ( 1962-67 ) have kind of a "Cult" following which drives the prices way up. If you can find a deal on one, by all means buy it and build it, but it may not be feasible for most people. That aside-here's some cars that could be low-budget fun and real fast.  #1. 1962-68 Ford Falcon / Mercury Comet. These cars are really light-about 2,800 lbs-so even with a mild 289 / 302 they can really run. You could find a wrecked "5.0" Fox Mustang and swap the whole drivetrain-engine, T5 tranny, 8.8 inch rear and for very low-bucks have a fast, reliable sleeper. Or you could go old-school style gasser-straight axle, dual quads, fenderwell exit headers etc. If you wanted to build a corner-carver-a lot of early Mustang suspension and brake upgrades fit these cars. They have a lot of potential for low bucks.  # 2. 1964-68 Plymouth Valiant / Barracuda. A lot of these may have Slant-Six or 273 V8 motivation, but a 360 or 408 stroker crate motor would bolt right in and make one of these lightweights a rocker.  # 3. 1971-77 Chevy Vega. Bill "Grumpy" Jenkins dominated Pro Stock drag racing in his V8 Vega in the early '70's. V8 Vegas were all the rage in the late '70's and early '80's. Hooker and other companies offer motor mounts and headers etc. You could use an old-school small-block or a late-model LS engine to build a pocket-rocket. ( No one gives a shit about Vegas-your not desecrating ' 69 Z/28 )  # 4. 1971-80 Ford Pinto / Mercury Bobcat. 289 / 302 Pintos were also popular in the '70's and are actually easier to build than the Vegas. A Maverick or Mustang II 8 inch rear will bolt right in and stand up to almost anything. "Dyno" Don Nicholson ran V8 Pintos in Pro Stock and was the only guy who gave Jenkins a run or beat him once in a while. # 5. 1971-77 Ford Maverick / Mercury Comet. These lightweight cars make great drag racers. A buddy of mine was shocked when his 440 Road Runner got beat by a screamin' 302 Maverick.  # 6. 1971-77 AMC Gremlin / Hornet. With a curb weight about 2,700 lbs and a short wheelbase these cars make great drag racers. Like Pontiacs-AMC V8's are externally identical. Which means a 360 or 401 would bolt right in place of a 304. A guy I knew in high school had a 401 Gremlin-and he surprised a lot of people-including a couple of big-block Chevelles.  # 7.. 1971-77 Pontiac Ventura. 350 versions can be made to run, but a 400 or 455 is a bolt-in swap. Weighing about 3,200 lbs-600 less than the average '70's Firebird-these make great sleepers. And a lot of suspension and brake upgrades that fit the Camaro / Firebird fit these cars.  Any of these would be a fast, fun ride with the right combination. Mastermind      

"Fast&Furious 7" is a horrible mess....

Took my 12 year old nephew to see "Furious 7" this past weekend and even he said-"You can't do that" "He'd be dead."  Not just once, but at almost every turn from beginning to end. It's that bad. Let me explain. You know from the teaser at the end of "F&F 6" that Jason Statham is the bad guy in this one. He's the brother of Owen Shaw-the villian in "F&F 6". The film opens with FBI Agent Hobbs-Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson in his office saying goodnight to the hot Brazilian girl cop he recruited in "Fast Five". He finds Statham at his desk using his computer and they threaten each other verbally and then fight. I personally like Jason Statham as an actor / athlete-he's a talented martial-artist. But he's about 5'10" and 190 lbs. The Rock is 6'5" and 275 lbs with 6% body fat. In a real fight-I think Johnson would win easily. Like Oddsmaker Jimmy "The Greek" used to say-"The race may not always be to the swift, or the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet." Anyhow-they have a brutal fight-punching and kicking each other in the ribs, the face,throwing each other through plate glass partitions, smashing each other into desks, etc. In reality-after a minute or two-they'd both be awaiting an ambulance with broken jaws, broken ribs, punctured lungs, busted knees, etc. Except here neither man gets so much as a bloody nose. They also pull guns and exhange gunfire-not hitting anything when Statham pulls an incendary explosive device of some kind out of his pocket which blows the Rock and the Brazilian babe out the window and they fall 2 stories and land on a car. The babe is unscathed-( How do you get blown though a plate-glass window and not get cut? ) because she landed on the Rock. Mere hours later he's sitting up in the hospital with a cast on his left arm trading insults and sarcasm with Vin Diesel. ( Dominic Toretto ). He tells Diesel about Statham. In the next scene Mia-( The smokin' hot Jordana Brewster-she gets hotter with age if that's possible ) is visiting Dom and complaining about her marriage. Apparantly having the 10 million bucks they stole from the Brazillian drug king in F&F 5 and a pardon from the Justice Dept and living happily ever after with Mia and their baby isn't enough for Brian O' Connor. ( The now-deceased Paul Walker ). He "Misses the bullets". At this point-Diesel get's a phone call from Statham and his house blows up. Now he's pissed. At Han's funeral, he sees Statham cruising the cemetary in an Aston Martin DB9. He gives chase in a 440 / Six-Pack 1970 GTX. They play "Chicken" and hit each other head-on at like 60 mph. And then get out-of course neither man has a scratch. Statham pulls a gun-but before he can shoot Diesel, Kurt Russel and a team of heavily armed Commandos show up and Statham flees. Somehow Dominic Toretto has morphed from a street-racing thug into James Bond. Russel is a CIA type who wants Toretto to rescue a master computer hacker who invented a state of the art satellite tracking system and is being held by a third-world dictator. If he retrieves the sytem-Russel will let him use it to find Statham. They drop cars out of airplanes to rescue the computer whiz. Now I know the military did this with Hummers during Desert Storm-but they were dropping them in a general area of a huge desert. You CAN"T drop cars out of airplanes with parachutes onto a narrow two-lane mountain highway with pinpoint accuracy.  You can't. They do. During this road rescue-Paul Walker gets into a Kung-Fu fight with an Asian thug on the bus that was transporting the computer wiz-who surprise-is a smokin' hot woman that Ludacris and Tyrese Gibson argue over who has "dibs" on her. Anyway the Asian guy bails just before the bus starts to fall off a cliff. In a totally impossible scene that's obviously CGI-Walker races up the roof of the bus and as it falls he leaps toward solid ground and miraclously grabs the spoiler on a Challenger that Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) slides up in at the last possible second. Right. The hacker gave the flash drive with the satellite surveillence sytem to a friend, and he sold it to a Sheik in Dubai. So the crew goes to Dubai to steal it from the Sheik. He has it stashed in his multi-million dollar sports car of which there's only  7 of which he keeps in his penthouse on top of a huge skyscraper. ( Why would you keep a car in a Penthouse? ) Ludacris and the hacker try to circumvent the security system while Michelle Rodriguiez-who was murdered in F&F 4 and amazingly returned from the dead in F&F 6-and has amnesia-is trying to find a phone jack they can hook their hacking equipment to-while Walker and Diesel try to find the flash drive in the car. Here's a cameo by super-hot women's UFC Champion Ronda Rousey as one of the Sheik's babes / bodyguards. And it's totally wasted. All the women at this swanky party are wearing evening gowns and heels. Rousey's in a gold dress and Rodriguez is in a Red one. Rodriguez whomps the ass of a few male guards, then encouters Rousey. They could have had a cool, sexy girl-girl fight scene, but the director totally blows it. I'd have had Rousey choke Michelle out with a sleeperhold and then call in "All ok" on her dress-mounted microphone. Then Michelle could wake up and smash Ronda in the knee and the mouth. They could kick off their heels, start to fight, the dresses get ripped to hell and they have to finish the fight topless and barefoot or at least in their underwear. They could have had Rousey use all her MMA moves-arm-bars,leg-scissors, figure-four leg-locks,and had Rodriguez use her ghetto moves-hair pulling, eye-gouging, scratching, biting, head-butting, hitting in the groin,etc. Now THAT would have been worth the price of admission. Instead-we get lightning-quick camera cuts as the throw each other around in a blur of red and gold fabric. You can't see who's doing what to who, and you can't see their faces-it could have been two stunt MEN wrestling in those dresses!! After a minute or two of this-they fall over the railing on the top floor and land on a table on the dance floor, which knocks Rousey out, but only stuns Rodriguez, who limps away with Tyrese Gibson. Diesel and Walker then jump the sports car from one skyscraper to another, not once, but twice. Really? If you drove a 3,000 lb car out of a skyscraper's top floor-you would fall to the ground and die, or splatter on the walls of the other building and fall to the ground and die. The chance of you crashing through a window onto a floor is so impossible...Well it's just impossible. Then they go back to Los Angeles where their pursued by the dictator and half his army with planes helicopters and drones. Now how a foriegn national got all these military aircraft into United States airspace over a major city like L.A.-especially in our post 9/11 world without being shot down by the U.S. Military-is a huge question that goes unanswered. He wrecks half the city pursuing the crew in their musclecars. Until the Rock gets out of his hospital bed, breaks out of his cast by simply flexing his biceps, steals an ambulance and drives it off an overpass into the drone, totalling the amabulance and the drone. And he of course emerges from the wreck without a scratch, and shoots down some helicopters with a machine-gun. Diesel and Statham have another head-on collision in two more cars-and again emerge without a scratch. And even though he's got a sawed-off shotgun,and he's pissed about Statham killing Han and blowing up his house, he doesn't shoot him. They pick up tire irons and have a fight. Again-they hit each other in the head, the ribs, the arms, the legs, etc with the iron bars and don't get multiple broken bones, and concussions no-they get nary a scratch. Then even though a parking garage falls on Statham and Diesel takes out a helicopter with a Charger-they both survive-with nary a scratch-Statham goes to jail and Diesel and friends go to the beach to see Walker and Jordana Brewster. Again-no gratuitous bikini scene for Brewster-( Bastards!!-we got Gal Gadot in a bikini in F&F 5 and Eva Mendes in 2 Fast 2 Furious, but no Jordana in 7 films??!! ) Like Ditka says-"Come on, Man!". Then Diesel leaves in yet another Charger, and Walker catches him in a white 98 Toyota Supra and says-"You can't leave without saying goodbye." "There's no goodbye." Diesel says and they take different roads. Diesel does a voice over about how Walker will always be with him and always be his brother. The problem I have, is since this stinker grossed 144 million bucks on it's first weekend, it's going to be a blockbuster, which means there will probably be an "F&F 8". But they didn't kill Walker's character in this one-so how are they going to explain his absence in the next one?  Are they going to say that he and Jordana Brewster went somewhere to live happily ever after and let Diesel,Rodriguez, Gibson, and Ludacris go on the next Bond / Jack Ryan / Jack Reacher type adventure that Hobbs comes up with?  God, I hope not.  Mastermind            

Road Test Ringers re-visited.......

Had a guy spewing numbers from an old road test the other day and he got even more spittingly hysterical when I said the test he was quoting was a heavily modified "ringer" and that his stock car would go substantially slower.  He asked why the manufacturers would do that. Simple-they wanted to sell the cars!!! Anyhow-here's the the biggest offenders that I've seen over the years. # 1. 1964 Pontiac GTO. After 40 plus years Jim Wangers finally admitted what we already knew. Car and Driver's May 1964 test car was a ringer. Royal Pontiac had pulled the 389 and substituted a blueprinted 421 that had thin head gaskets to up compression,rocker arm lock nuts so it could rev higher, a re-curved distributor and a mechanical throttle linkage on the 3-2bbl carbs instead of the stock vacuum unit. Small wonder that production examples were more than a full second slower than the blistering 4.6 second 0-60 time and 13.1 second 1/4 mile!!  # 2. 1969 Z/28 Camaro. Hot Rod got their Z/28 "almost" in the 12s-it ran a blistering 13.11 e.t. Except it wasn't stock. They had added headers and re-curved the distributor, re-jetted the 780 Holley carb, added slicks and traction bars, and swapped the 3.73:1 gears for 4.56:1s!!  That's why production examples ran in the mid-14s!!  #3. 1969 440 Six-Pack Road Runner. Chrysler ran an ad in several magazines bragging that their Prototype ran a string of high 12-second e.t.s "Under controlled conditions, with a professional driver." The "Prototype" had been brought "To the top of Specifications"-i.e.-blueprinted-and was equipped with slicks, a pinion snubber,4.30:1 gears, and the "Professional" driver was Pro Stock Drag Racing Champion Ronnie Sox of "Sox&Martin" fame.  # 4. 1973 SD-455 Trans-Am. Car and Driver and Hot Rod both tested the same car-a Buccaneer Red pre-production example that ran a blistering 13.54 for Hot Rod and a 13.75 for Car and Driver. Except that car had the 308/320 duration / .470 lift Ram Air IV cam and the wrong EGR Valve, and an open "Shaker" scoop. Except it couldn't pass emissions and the cam was changed to the much milder RAIII cam-with 288 / 302 duration / .414 lift and horsepower was down-rated from 310 to 290. Noise regulations were stiffer for '73 models than they were for '70-72 models and the scoops were closed on production models. They had trouble with the connecting rods failing and with EGR valve function. The engine wasn't EPA certified until April-which is why production was so low-only 252 in T/A's and another 43 in Formulas.  The final production models ran 14.40's-pretty damn quick for a low-compression 1973 model-but not mid 13s.  # 5. 1978 Dodge Li'l Red Express Pickup. In November 1977 Car and Driver tested a bunch of performance cars in a "Double the Double Nickel" run-each car had to be able to go more than 110 mph. Truckin' magazine tested the same truck. The Dodge pickup blew the doors off both an L82 / 4-speed Corvette and a WS6 Trans-Am. It also blew the doors off a short-bed, 2WD 454 Chevy Stepside and a 2WD 460 powered Ford F150.  Except this "Prototype" " Li'l Red Truck"  had a 360 V8 with NASCAR style "W2" cylinder heads,the hot cam from the legendary 340 "Six-Pack", a single-plane Holley "Street Dominator" aluminum intake manifold, a 600 cfm Holley 4160 "Double-Pumper" carb, and catalyst-free dual exhausts. Shocker-production examples with a garden variety 360 V8-stock heads,stock cam, and iron intake with an EGR valve and a Carter Thermo-Quad carb were substantially slower.  # 6. 1978 Z/28 Camaro. Most '77-79 Z28's tested by magazines ran e.t.'s in the 15.60 range. Popular Hot Rodding's ran a 14.48. Except it wasn't a stocker. It was a DKM prototype-they were thinking about building a "Macho Z" to complement their wildly successfull "Macho T/A." This Camaro had been given the "Macho T/A" treatment-re-curved distributor, re-jetted carb, open hood scoop, Hooker Headers and dual cat converters. # 7. 1992 Mitsubishi 3000 GT / VR4. This one rivals the '64 GTO for audacity. Mitsubishi claimed their test mule "Under controlled conditions with a Professional Driver" could run a blistering 4.8 second 0-60 time and a 13.69 second 1/4. Faster than an LT1 Corvette and a Porsche 944 Turbo. Except the engineers had disconnected the knock sensor,disconnected the rev limiter,filled the tank with 104 octane gas,put wet towels on the intake and intercooler between runs, lowered tire pressure to 15 psi and had the "Professional Driver" drop the clutch at 6,200 rpm and powershift at 7,000 rpm, which produced the blistering times, and grenaded the $5,769 transaxle after three runs. Shocker that production examples could only run sub-6 second 0-60 times and mid 14 second 1/4 mile times.  So before you flippantly spout numbers-make sure your comparing actual production cars. Mastermind