More magazine test car "Ringers".......

A lot of guys wonder why they don't get the same results that the car magazines do even if their running the exact same parts. Well the problem is they don't read the whole article- or they don't comprehend it. Here's a perfect example-A few years ago Hot Rod had a "Crate Motor Shootout'. They put 8 different GMPP crate motors in a '69 Chevelle and drag tested them. All of the engines went blisteringly fast- the ZZ4 350 ran a 12.44, the ZZ383 ran 11.73, the 427 Rat ran an 11.35, and the ZZ572 ran an ungodly 10.21. The LS motors all ran in the 11s, except for the little 5.3-and it ran a 12.39. With only 325 hp?  However- the Chevelle was a gutted race car that only weighed 3,300 lbs with a 10 point cage and a 4 link ladder bar suspension. It also had slicks, and open exhaust, 4.30:1 gears and a TH400 with a trans-brake and a torque converter with a 4,800 rpm stall speed!! So "Joe Average" puts a ZZ4 or ZZ383 into his full-bodied Chevelle that weighs 3,800+ has a stock suspension, a full exhaust system, street tires, 3.31:1 gears, and a TH350 with a stock conveter. The car's fast-and fun to drive-but he can't break out of the 13s. Why doesn't his car run low 12s or high 11s like the test mule?  I just said why-it's 500 lbs heavier, has a suspension set up for handling instead of drag racing, and oh yeah-the trans brake, 4.30 gears and 5 grand converter offer a lot of mechanical advantage!!! It's really not cool that they do that. 1st off, a car with a 4,800 rpm converter is almost undriveable on the street. Even with 4.30 gears, the 60 mph freeway cruise rpm would still be well below the stall speed. Even with an auxilary cooler-you'd burn up the tranny in less than 100 miles!  Another bad one was Car Craft bragging that their "Stock" 5.0 1991 Mustang ran a blistering 14.05 e.t. It was stock except for the K&N airbox, the cat-back Flowmaster exhaust, the 3.73:1 gears, and 235 / 60R15 M&H wrinklewall drag radials. Gee, maybe that's why every other magazine-running stock exhaust, 2.73:1 or 3.08:1 gears, and 225 / 60R15 street tires could only run between 14.72 and 15.29!!!  Their still doing it. They raved how a "Stock" 2011 Camaro SS ran high 11s.  How'd they do that when every other magazine on the planet runs low 13s with a new Camaro?  By disconnecting the front sway bar for better weight transfer, swapping the Pirelli PZzeros for drag radials with 15 psi in them, dropping the clutch at 4,500 rpm and oh-yeah adding a "Shot" of nitrous!!!  That's realistic. Everyone drives around with their front sway bar disconnected, 15 psi in their rear tires and a nitrous system fully armed right??   Mastermind            

Gearheads and racers cheating..... Say it isn't so......

Had some people ask about why sometimes production examples don't match the performance of "Prototypes" tested by magazines. They also asked why sometimes magazines bash a car and say they performed worse than expected.  The reasons vary-sometimes the manufacturers want to sell the cars so badly that they supply "Ringers"- i.e test cars that perform way better than any production example, because they have equipment or "Test Conditions" the average Joe could never duplicate. And sometimes they get cars out of the "Test Fleet" that have a lot of hard miles on them, and have been abused, and have problems that a new one wouldn't have. Here's some examples of both circumstances. # 1. 1964 GTO. This one is still the undisputed champ. Jim Wangers finally admitted 40 years later what we already knew. Car&Driver's May 1964 test car was a ringer. It ran a blistering 4.6 second 0-60 time and a 13.1 second 1/4 mile, frying the tires halfway down the track on 7.75X14 bias-ply Uniroyal Tiger Paws. This was possible because Royal Pontiac had pulled the original 389 and replaced it with a blueprinted 421.  # 2. 1969 440 6-pack Road Runner. Plymouth gloated in ads about the "prototype" running high 12s "Under controlled conditions". Those conditions included a re-curved distributor, custom jetting on the 3 Holley 2 bbls, slicks, 4.30:1 gears, and -oh yes-the "Professional Driver"-NHRA Pro Stock Drag Racing Champion Ronnie Sox of- Sox&Martin fame. Think a production example with street tires, 3,23:1 or 3.54:1 gears and piloted by "Joe average" might run a tad slower? # 3. 1973 Olds 442. Motor Trend had a "1973 Performance Cars Preview" issue in late 1972. The GM "A" bodies were redesigned for 1973 from the classic '68-72 style into the unpopular '73-77 "Collonade" hardtops. This change was supposed to happen in '72, but a UAW strike caused GM to sell carryover '71 models as '72s. Anyhow, their red and silver '73 442 blew the doors off all comers including a 455SD Pontiac Trans-Am, a 454 Chevy Corvette, a 401, 4-speed AMC Javelin AMX, a 351CJ Mustang Mach 1, a 429 Gran Torino, and a 440 Dodge Charger. It was later ascertained that instead of the standard 250 hp Olds 455 V8, TH400 tranny and 2.73:1 or 3.08:1 gears, this one had been brought to "The top of specifications"-which included a re-curved distributor, a re-jetted carb, a "W30" hot 328 degree cam, a 2,400 rpm Hurst "Shotgun" torque converter, a TransGo shift kit, and 3.42:1 gears. Yeah!  # 4. 1973 Dodge Charger. Car and Driver also tested a bunch of 1973 Musclecars. They were disappointed that their 440 Charger ran a lackluster 8.6 second 0-60 time and a pathetic 16.9 second 1/4 mile. They admitted that the car had a noticeable miss, and they thought it might have been running on 7 cylinders. It was later ascertained that this example had been in the test fleet a long time, had 6,700 hard miles on it, and had a blown head gasket. A re-test a few months later bore this out. The healthy one with only 250 miles on it ran a 6.7 second 0-60 time and a 15.0 1/4 mile. Nearly two seconds better on both times. # 5. 1978 Dodge Li'l Red Express pickup. In Car & Driver's November 1977 issue the "Li'l Red Truck "Prototype" blew the doors of a '78 Trans-Am and a '78 L82, 4-speed Corvette. However- the 360 V8 in the "Prototype" had NASCAR style "W2" cylinder heads, a hot cam out of the old 340 / 6-pack, an aluminum Holley "Street Dominator" intake manifold, a 600 cfm Holley Double-Pumper carb, and catalyst free dual exhausts. ( Legal on trucks with higher than a 6,000 lb GVW rating ). Needless to say, the production examples with a garden-variety 360 with standard heads and cam, and iron intake and a Carter Thermo-Quad carb and catalytic conveters were substantially slower. # 6. 1978 "Macho T/A" Dennis and Kyle Mecham made a ton of money selling "Macho T/A's" in the late '70's. Motor Trend tested one with a Turbo on it that couldn't even break out of the 17s. Sad, when a bone-stock one ran 15.11 and 15.04 for Hot Rod and Popular Hot Rodding respectively. Both of these road-tests used "some wheelspin" and all shifts were "lift-throttle" High Performance Cars dropped the clutch at 3,500-4,000 rpm and powershifted their way to a blistering 14.78 in their Formula 400 test car. Hot Rod tested a normally aspirated "Macho" that ripped off a blistering 14.29. It turned out that C/ D's test mule had been in the buyer's posession for over a year, he hadn't ever even changed the oil, and that the Turbocharger had a stuck wastegate and wasn't functioning properly-obviously. # 7. 1993 Mitsubishi 3000GTVR4. This one takes the cake-Mitsu engineers and their ad agency boasted that this all-wheel drive Turbo V6 sports car blew the doors off both a Chevrolet Corvette and a Porsche 911. It ripped off a blistering 13.5 second 1/4 mile, "On a closed course, under controlled conditions, with a professional driver." The "Conditions" were this-they disconnected the knock sensor, disconnected the rev limiter, filled the tank with 104 octane racing gas, dropped the tire pressure to 15 psi, and had the "Professional Driver" pop the clutch at 6,200 rpm and powershift at 7,000, which grenaded the $5749 transaxle after 3 runs. Gee, wonder why production examples only ran mid-14s?  Mastermind          

The Devil's Right Hand.......Maybe....

"After my daddy left to fight the big war, I saw my first pistol in the general store." "I was 13, and I thought it was the finest thing I ever had seen." "So I asked if I could have one day when I grew up, and mama dropped a dozen eggs, man she really blew up." "She didn't understand, mama said that pistol is the Devil's Right Hand." "The Devil's right hand."  "First one I got was a cap and ball Colt, shoot as fast as lightning, but it loads a mite slow." "I soon found out, It'll get you into trouble, but it won't get you out." "Next one I got was a Colt .45, called the Peacemaker, but I never knew why." "Got into a card game in a Cumberland town, I caught a miner cheatin' so I shot the dog down, watched the man fall, he never touched his pistol , never had a chance to draw." "Trial was in the morning and they drug me out of bed, Judge asked me how I pleaded, "Not Guilty" "I said." "You've got the wrong man, no one touched that pistol but the Devil's Right Hand."  Johnny Cash and Waylon Jennings were singing about guns, of course, but the same can be said for musclecars. I was born a gearhead. My dad's first car was a 1959 Pontiac Catalina coupe with the tri-power 389. After that, my dad was a lifelong Pontiac man. When I was in first grade, my mom had a '65 Pontiac Catalina 2+2 with the tri-power 421 and my dad had a '64 GTO with a 4-speed and 4.33:1 gears. Dad took me to the Pontiac dealer to get parts for the Goat, and on the showroom sat a gorgeous '68 Firebird. It was Yellow with a black vynil top and black interior and Rally II wheels. I thought it was so cool. I tried to talk dad into trading the GTO in on the Firebird. Then, a few months later , his pal Dave showed up with a green 400, 4-speed, '68 Firebird convertible, and took us for a ride. Because of the 4.33 gears, dad's GTO was faster in a drag race, but I didn't care, I thought that Firebird was the bomb. When I was a little older, another friend of my dad's got a 1970 4-speed, 440 / 6-pack Plymouth GTX. It was Red with black stripes and a blacked out hood, and it had white interior with bucket seats and a console and the "Pistol-Grip" shifter. Like Waylon said-"I thought it was the finest thing I ever had seen."  I was there when he raced, and barely lost to a Hemi Road Runner in a drag race. Then I saw Vanishing Point in theatres. My dream car was then an Alpine White Challenger. Much to dad;s dismay, I was a Mopar fan. When I was in high school, my dad got a '78 400, 4-speed, WS6 Trans-Am. It was super cool, But I wanted a Dodge Li'l Red Express pickup. Until I saw the Judge on a used car lot. Carousel Red, with American Racing Torq-Thrust mags on it. 14X6 in front and 15X10 in the rear with F70-14, and N50-15 Mickey Thompson tires. It was a Ram Air III, 4-speed model, with 4.33:1 gears. Who buys that for a 16 year old?  I think dad got it as much for him as for me, but I forgot all about the Little Red Truck. It was warmed-over by a previous owner. It had headers and loud exhaust, a Crane Cam slightly hotter than an RAIV, and an Offenhauser dual-quad intake with two AFBs on it. It had a badass lope, but stable idle. Pulling the Hurst shifter on the Rock-Crusher into 1st gear was like racking the slide on a 12-guage shotgun. Forget the "Bullitt" or Vanishing Point" soundtrack, when I wound up the Judge-the intake roar was louder than the exhaust. I was King Kong in our town. I smote all challengers in biblical fashion. 396 Chevelles, 400 Firebirds,428 Mustangs, 440 Super Bees, 427 Corvettes, 429 Torinos, I showed my taillights to them all. I also got 23 tickets and lost my driver's liscence in less than a year. "No one touched that Hurst Shifter, but the Devil's Right Hand" The judge ( A real judicial one, said I had to sell the car or do a year in jail ) . Didn't help. I sold the Judge and bought a '68 SS396 El Camino. Over the years I had many other musclecars. My brother-who's twelve years younger than me, and loved my GTO and my "Smokey and the Bandit" '77 T/A-got for his first car-A '69 GTO!! It wasn't a Judge, but he too lost his liscence in less than a year. Much to my wife's dismay-when my son was very little and I first got my Hurst / Olds, he would tell every one "Daddy's white car goes "Rump-Rump". "Daddy's car Goes Fast". When I was going into the hospital for major surgery a few years ago-my son who's now 19-told his sister-"If he dies, I get the Hurst / Olds."  My wife was motified, but I understood, and so did his grandpa and his uncle. It may not be the Devil, but there's some powerful force that draws little boys to musclecars. And we buy them when we get to be big boys. That's why theirs 400 hp Camaros, Challengers, and Mustangs to this day. Despite EPA regulations, and howls from tree-huggers, and derision from tweed-cap wearing pipe-smoking journalists that espouse overhead cam four-bangers and Turbo V6s, and all-wheel-drive, the archaic, throwback,rear-wheel-drive, big pushrod V8 American Musclecar-mechanical pornography to some still shows their taillights to these tech wonders costing double their price and simply will not go away. The reason is cable TV and car shows. Everytime "Bullitt" or "Vanishing Point", or "Smokey and the Bandit" or "White Lightning" is shown on late-night TV, or a dad takes his son the drags or a "Show-n-Shine"- "Another possible future Prius driver bites the dust." Or maybe the Devil's right hand reached out..... Mastermind                

Some more modern muscle for the less mechanically inclined......

I had a guy email me who said he'd love to have a V8 musclecar but he couldn't afford 30 or 40K for a new Challenger, Mustang or Camaro. That meant-obviously that he didn't have the same amount of money for a restored GTO, Road Runner, or whatever.  He also said he's not a mechanic or bodyman and didn't have the ability to restore something that needed a lot of work. He asked if i could recommend some cars that he could buy for say less than $10-12,000 dollars that he could just drive and not put too much money into right off. There's a few diamonds like this out there that a lot of people don't think of. Here they are, in no particular order. # 1. 1985-96 Chevrolet Corvette. The '85-91 models have the L98 TPI 350 backed by either a 4+3 overdrive 4-speed, a 4-speed automatic, or a six-speed manual. I saw a nice '89 model on a used car lot the other day for $4999. The '92-96 models will have the LT1 which has 300 hp compared to the L98s 250. These will be in the upper areas of the price range, but no one will argue that a C4 'Vette offers a lot of bang for the buck.  # 2. 1987-92 Firebird Formula 350 / Trans Am GTA / IROC-Z. Most '82-92 Camaros and Firebirds have 305 motivation. But there are quite a few out there with the vaunted L98 350 'Vette motor stuffed in them. For some reason Pontiac offered the big motor in the Formula as well as the T/A; Chevrolet only offered it in the Z/28 / IROC-it wasn't available in an RS Camaro. These are dynamite performers stock, and there is a ton of aftermarket speed equipment out there. # 3. 1987-2004 Ford Mustang GT. The '87-93 models are the last and best of the bodystyle that debuted in 1979. They have the fuel-injected bullet-proof 302, the "World-class" T5 5-speed stick or a 4-speed automatic, and the bulletproof 8.8 inch rear axle. Their is probably more speed equipment available for this car than anything else on the planet. If you want the best of both worlds-the 1994 and 95 models have the newer body used from '94-2004, with the "Old-school" 302 under the hood. 1996 and later models use the 4.6 liter mod motor V8. They have just as much power as the old "5.0" , just higher in the powerband, with less bottom-end torque and speed parts are pricier for the "4.6". However, from a bang for the buck perspective, their still a great bargain.  # 4. 1985-92 Lincoln MKVIILSC. Car and Driver said it best-"A 5.0 Mustang in a tuxedo." These "Hot Rod Lincolns" featured the vaunted "5.0" Mustang GT engine, Recaro Seats, 16" wheels with fat 225 / 55ZR16 Goodyear Gatorbacks, and a cool monochromatic paint job. # 5. 1994-97 Chevrolet Impala SS. Chevy engineers took the Cop-car Caprice with an LT1 'Vette motor in it, gave it a sinsiter black paint job, some fat tires, gussied up the interior and had an instant rock-star. The buff magazines raved and the public bought them, but when GM went front-drive with the Impala in 1998, cops and enthusiasts everywhere howled and went into mourning. # 5. 1993-2002 Z/28 Camaro / Pontiac Trans-Am. 1993-97 models will have the LT1, '98-02 models will have the LS1. Both are great performers stock, and there is a ton of speed equipment out there. # 6. 2003-2004 Mercury Marauder. Take a cop-car Crown Vic, swap in the snarling 300+hp 4-cam V8 out of the Mustang Cobra, add a 4-speed automatic with a high-stall conveter, upgraded suspension, fat 18" tires and wheels, a trick interior with Auto Meter guages and a monochromatic paint job and you have the baddest Ford sedan since Burt Reynolds 429 / 4-speed 1972 LTD whiskey runner in "White Lightning". For some insane reason, Ford never promoted this car-( I never even saw a magazine road test of one ) and then wondered why they didn't sell a lot of them. Dynamite if you can find one. # 7. 2004-2006 Pontiac GTO. Car and Driver said it-"It runs like a Corvette, handles like BMW and looks like a rental car." The Grand-Am on steroids styling is what killed it. If GM had done like they did with the Camaro and Ford did with the Mustang and Dodge did with the Challenger-went retro and made it look like a '60's or '70's model they'd have had people lined around the block. 2004 models have the 350 hp 5.7 liter LS1, 2005-06 models have the 400 hp 6.0 liter LS2. Both offer blistering performance, and the subdued styling make keep the men in blue off your back. # 8. 2005-07 Dodge Charger / Chrysler 300. This will be at the top of the $12,000 price limit, but you get the best of both worlds-a last-generation E55 Mercedes chassis with a Chrysler Hemi V8 stuffed in it. I'd also check auctions for later-model, but higher-mileage Charger cop cars. A lot of bang for the buck. So if you don't have a ton of cash and a ton of mechanical ability, you can still have a tire-smoking, American Muscle Machine. Mastermind      

The "Other" El Camino....That actually came first!

The Chevy El Camino has a bit of a "cult" following and often the Ford Ranchero has taken a backseat in the eyes of performance buffs. A lot of people don't know it-Ford introduced the Ranchero in 1957 based on the Fairlane chassis. The El Camino was introduced in 1959 and returned for 1960 on the Impala chassis, then took a few years off, before being re-introduced in 1964 on the "A" body Chevelle platform. In the early and mid-'60's Rancheros were based on the compact Falcon platform. There kind of rare, but if you can find one their cute, and light, and with a 289 ( or a 302 / 351W swapped in ) they can really run. You can't really haul anything in the smallish bed, and a 1960-65 Falcon suspension doesn't have much load capacity but they'd be a fun driver / hot rod. The 1967-76 Fairlane / Torino based versions are the most desirable from a performance / utility standpoint. The bed is big enough and the suspension beefy enough where you could actually haul something up to about 1,000 lbs. Engine choices range from the 289 / 302, 351W, and 390 V8s up until 1969. 1970-76 models offer 302s, 351Cs, 351 / 400Ms, and a few with 429 / 460s. The 351C versions will be the most plentiful and probably give the most "bang for the buck". 1977-79 models are the largest and most luxurious, based on the LTD II platform. Most of these will have 351 / 400M power. They were considered "dogs" because they had 2bbl carburation, single exhausts, and salt-flats gearing like 2.56:1. Give them a 4bbl carb and intake, some dual exhausts and some 3.25:1 or 3.50:1 gears and they would really "wake up". A few '77-78 models may have 460s, but their rare. The 460 wasn't available in 1979 for some reason-I don't know why-Federal and California emission laws didn't change from 78-79. Although the El Camino soldiered on until 1987, the Ranchero was dropped after 1979. Anyhow, if your a Ford guy, or just want a nice ride that you don't see every day and can haul a few things, but don't really want a truck, a Ranchero may be the way to go. Mastermind    

Blasphemy most foul!!

Went with my son to a local U-Pull-It junkyard today to try to find some trim pieces for his 2002 Lincoln LS. In the Ford section there were a lot of  Tauruses, late-model Mustangs, Cougars, Crown Vics, some Lincoln Town Cars, and MK VIII's, but no LS models. Then, I was horrified. Smack-dab in the middle of miles of '80's,'90's and 2000-up clunkers and wrecks sat a 2 dr 1967 Thunderbird. The body was absolutely straight and rust-free, although the paint was oxidized. The grille and taillight panel were intact, and the interior was perfect. The seats weren't even ripped. And, it had a 428 under the hood! Some vultures had taken the A/C compressor and the carburator off the engine, and stolen the steering wheel, but otherwise the car was all there!!  Now who in the hell junked this car??? I know the junkyard didn't pay more than $500 for it, and in the condition it was in, it could have sold for $5,000!! Even a clueless old lady would know this car didn't belong in a scrapyard. I'm not even a Ford guy, and I'm going to go back tomorrow and see if I can buy it and save it from the crusher or being picked apart by people looking for bits and pieces. We've got to stop tragedies like this from happening. If one of your neighbors is thinking about junking a classic, don't let them. Offer him $100 more than the junkyard is. Save the dinosaurs! Mastermind  

Sometimes it's better and more cost-effective to just "Run What You Brung"....

"Bigger is better" is certainly all the rage these days. Every buff magazine features cars and drag and dyno tests of cars with 572 inch Chevy Rat Motors, 514 inch Boss-Nine Fords, and 528 inch Chrysler Hemis all with 600 or even 700 hp. It's cool to read about them and maybe even dream about having a 10 second ride, but honestly, if your going to drive the car at all- ( Meaning it's not a race car or show car that only goes on and off the trailer or down the 1/4 ) a 572 inch, 12:1 compression, solid roller cammed 700 hp monster that idles at 1,500 rpm, requires 105 octane race gas and a 3 grand converter and 4.11 or 4.56 gears to run properly, and buzzes at 4,000 rpm on the freeway does not make for a pleasant driving experience. I mean wouldn't you be much happier with a 9.5:1 compression, hydraulic cammed, 450 hp 454 that idles at 800 rpm, runs on 91 octane pump gas, uses a stock converter and even with highway friendly 3.08:1 or 3.42:1 gears still runs in the high 12s?  Or the 11s with a little shot of nitrous?  Outside of the more-money-than-brains crowd who always have to have the biggest and best of everything, who NEEDS a 700 hp street car? The big cube, big buck crate motors may be a niche market, but it's infected everything else. There's stroker kits out there to turn a 400 Pontiac into a 455, a 400 Chrysler into a 451, a 440 into a 505, and a 454 Chevy into a 496. It's even pervaded the small-block crowd-there's crate engines and blocks and rotating assemblys for sale to make 427 and 454 inch small-block Chevys, to turn 351W Fords into 427s, and 360 Mopars into 410s. Why? 1st off, most of  these engines cost over 10 grand. If you want a mega-hp 427 or 454 Chevy, you can easily buy or build a big-block for a lot less than 10 grand. Ditto for the Fords. You can build a ground-pounding 429 or 460 for a lot less than the $12,000 Ford SVT wants for the 351-based 427 stroker. Now some people will say "What about applications where a big-block won't fit?"  Now your just playing "Devil's Advocate". Really. Think about it. Chevrolet built Rat-Motored Novas from 1968-70 and Rat-motored Camaros from 1967-72. This means that you can stuff a Rat motor into any Nova built from 1968-79 and any Camaro built from 1967-81 using off the shelf parts ( motor mounts, bigger radiator ) that you can buy at Autozone or any junkyard. Hooker and other companies sell motor mounts and headers to install a 396 / 454 into a 1982-92 Camaro / Firebird, and the '88 and later "G" bodies. Mopar Performane and other companies offer kits to put a 440 into a Duster / Dart. Ford SVT offers a kit to put a 460 into a 1979-93 Mustang. Pontiacs are externally identical from a 326 to a 455, and the motor mounts and oil pan even interchange with the little 301s. So you could literally bolt a 455 Pontiac into anything from a 1963 Tempest, to an '81 Grand Prix, and anything else in between. AMCs are also externally identical from the 290-401. A guy I knew swapped a 401 out of a Matador Police car into his 304 Gremlin and surprised a ton of people in "Faster" cars-i.e. 383 Road Runners, 396 Chevelles, etc. So the only application where a big-block physically wouldn't fit would be something like a '63 Nova, '32 Ford, or a '23 T-Bucket, or a Cobra Replica, or a Datsun 240Z or Austin-Healey. If your building one of those, their going to weigh less than 2,600 lbs. You can get 450 hp out of a 350 Chevy or 302 Ford very easily. In a 2,600 lb car-that's going to give you 0-60 times in the 4-second range and 1/4 mile times in the 11s provided you can get traction. A little nitrous would get you into the 10's and kicked off most tracks-( NHRA rules require any car that runs faster than 11.50 to have an 8-point roll cage and a driveshaft safety loop ). If you can keep a straight face and say that you NEED to go faster than that, then you need a Top Fuel Dragster, a competent therapist, or a cage. Even if you want or need 500+ hp in one of these applications you can get that out of a 350 Chevy or 351 Ford or 360 Mopar either with or without a blower. You don't need a $15,000 454 inch Dart stroker. If you can afford one of these megabuck engines and want one, by all means buy one. I'm just saying you can go plenty fast without spending 10 or 15 grand on an engine. Especially if your restifying a musclecar. The adage is "Always build the bigget engine you can afford." The key word is "AFFORD". Don't throw away a perfectly good 383 Mopar and then spend an extra $5,000 buying and building a junk 440. Instead of spending $2,000 for a 455 stroker rotating assembly for your 400 Pontiac, you'd be better off spending that money on carb and intake, headers,cams, ignition, gears, converter, and tires to put all that power to the ground. That's all I'm saying. Mastermind              

A "350" A-body might be just the ticket for you......

Everyone wants blood and a first-born child for GTOs, SS Chevelles, 442s and 400 / 455 GS Skylarks. However-you can still have a hot "A" body-for a lot less money than people want for the premium big-block models. It's partly supply and demand. For example in 1968 Alone-Chevrolet produced 58,000 SS396 Chevelles. They also produced over 400,000 base model Chevelles and Malibus. Now some of those are 4 drs and wagons and some El Camino sales my be thrown into those figures. Even still-there's probably a 250,000+ 2 dr base models out there. And that's just one model year of one car. The same goes for the other lines. There are a lot more base-model LeMans / Tempest, Cutlass / F85, and Skylark / Century models out there than there are GTOs, 442s, and GS Buicks. Throw Monte Carlos into the mix, and there are literally tens of millions of cars out there built from 1968-77, and a lot of them have 350 cubes under the hood. Here's how I'd rank them. #1. 1968-77 Chevelle / Monte Carlo. These are the obvious 1st choice, as there is more speed equipment for a small-block Chevy than anything else on the planet. # 2. 1968-77 Olds Cutlass. Of the "Other" 350s-i.e. non-Chevy-the Olds has the most potential. Its a big-bore / short stroke design and there was a factory high-performance version-the vaunted "W31". There is good aftermarket support. Edelbrock claims 397 hp and 400 lbs of torque from the "Performer RPM" package. Magazine writers spout numbers flippantly, but believe me-400 honest hp will make any street car into a rocket. # 3. 1968-77 Pontiac LeMans. I didn't include Gran Prix's because all GP's had 400 cubes standard. 350 Pontiacs respond well to traditional hot rod tricks-4bbl carb and intake, headers and dual exhausts, mild cam, etc. There was a 350HO package available on Firebirds and Tempests, but like the W31 Olds cousins, there pretty rare. The small bore / long stroke design gives them great low-end torque, but limits them in two ways. One is the big-port, big valve heads used on the 400 / 455s-that are needed to make serious power won't work-the valves will hit the block. Two-that big, heavy crank ( the same as a 400 ) is the reason these engines often go 150,000 to 200,000 miles on the street without a rebuild. But it limits rpms to 5,500 max. What to do is just accentuate what Pontiac did to begin with-make big torque at low rpm. With the proper cam, and carb / intake combo you can make 325-350 hp and 400 lbs of torque pretty easy. With an axle ratio between 3.23 and 3.73 and that would put you in the 13s  easily. But you won't make 500 hp like you can with a 400 / 455. The upside is, if you need that much power-a 400 or 455 is a bolt-in swap. Pontiac V8s are externally identical from a 326 to a 455. #4. 1968-77 Buick Skylark / Century.  Unfortunately for Buick fans, there isn't much speed equipment out there for  350 Buicks., and unlike Chevy, Olds, and Pontiac there was never a high-performance factory version. Edelbrock doesn't even offer a Performer intake for these engines. ( They do for 231 V6s, and the 400 and larger V8s ). Unfortunately if you want a stompin' Buick "A" body-your going to have to swap in a 400-430-455-which there are aftermarket aluminum heads, intakes, cams and other stuff available. 350 Skylarks make nice drivers but there just isn't the speed parts out there like there are for the other three. ( Chevy, Olds, Pontiac). But you can save thousands over the premium models. Mastermind  

A "Mini-Musclecar" or "Insurance Beater" may be what your looking for......

Even in the late '60's musclecar owners were getting shafted by insurance companies. Anything over 400 cubic inches was really targeted. However- the big three-GM, Ford and Chrysler quickly responded with hot small-block models to combat this. Even today-everyone wants the big-block models, which drives prices up. However-you can still find deals on the small-block models, and they can be made to really rock with very little work. Here's some of my favorites. # 1. 1968-70 Dodge Dart GTS / Swinger 340. These lightweight terrors pack a high-winding 340 V8 and will give those smug big-block cars a run for the money they won't soon forget. If your mechanically inclined, you don't even have to step up to the premium model. Buy a dirt-cheap 318 model and hop that up or swap in a 360.  # 2. 1970-74 Duster 340 / 360 / Demon 340 / Dart Sport 340 / 360. The 1970-73 models are the most desirable because they have the hi-perf 340. The '74 360 versions are basically a truck motor with a 4bbl and dual exhausts. But they have a lot of potential-'92 and later free-breathing "Magnum" heads will bolt onto the earlier blocks ( you'll need a "Magnum" style intake, but Edelbrock sells them for about $200 ). And there is a ton of speed equipment out there for Mopar "LA" engines. The same applies-318 versions will be a lot cheaper and can be made to run surprisingly fast, or a 360 is a bolt-in swap. # 3. 1968-77 Pontiac Firebird 350 / "Formula 350". Everybody fights with machetes for 400 and 455 versions. However-350 versions can be a screaming bargain. They respond well to traditional hot rod tricks-4bbl carb and intake, headers and dual exhausts, mild cam, etc. And, since Pontiac V8s are externally identical from a 326 to a 455, a 400 or 455 is a bolt-in swap. If you can live with a 350, or are looking to swap engines anyway-you can save many thousands over a Formula 400 or Trans-Am. # 4. 1968-79 Chevy Nova, 1971-77 Pontiac Ventura.  Nova "SS" models-even small-block versions sometimes command a King's Ransom, but there are hundreds of thousands of base models out there, and most have 350 Chevy or Pontiac power. Almost any suspension or brake upgrades that fit a Camaro / Firebird fit these cars, so they have a lot of potential. # 5. 1969-73 Mercury Cougar. 390 and 428 versions bring a King's Ransom, but 351W and 351C versions are plentiful and are usually much less expensive than a same-year Mustang. # 6. 1971-76 Ford Maverick "Grabber" / Mercury Comet GT. These were sport packages offered on these compacts. Weighing about 2,900 lbs and having a 302 V8 under the hood, these cars have tons of potential. They weren't considered hot when new because they had a 2bbl carb, single exhaust, and salt-flats gearing. Give him a 4bbl, some dual exhausts and some gears between 3.23 and 4.11 and look out! A buddy of mine was aghast when a hot 302 Maverick showed it's taillights to his 440 Road Runner. Even if you can't find a Grabber / GT, there are a lot of 302 base models that would be cheap and really rock with very little work. Any of these would be a great sleeper. Mastermind        

What part of "Musclecar Mastermind" doesn't sink in?....

Got some e-mails from people deriding me for omitting their favorites from my list of greatest movie chases. I'm not omitting them, and I agree that some of these top the ones I listed. Here's a few examples. #1. "Against All Odds". Not really a chase, more of a buddy-buddy race between Jeff Bridges and James Woods. Woods is driving a Ferarri 328 GTS, Bridges is driving a Porsche 911SC and they race through so cal traffic. Legendary stunt coordinator Carey Loftin drove the Ferarri. Great action with great cars, no CGI. # 2. "Ronin" Awesome chase with Robert DeNiro ( or his stunt-double ) piloting a Audi A6 with nitrous down narrow European streets. # 3. "To Live and Die in L.A."  Awesome chase the wrong-way down the LA freeway. William Peterson ( "CSI" ) kicks ass in a Caprice cop car, while his terrified partner whines from the back seat. # 4. "The French Connection" Gene Hackman actually did the stunt-driving chasing a subway train through the streets of New York. These were all exciting, realistic chases. Except- I don't consider a Ferarri 328, a Porsche 911, an Audi A6, a 4-dr '86 Caprice or a 4 dr '71 Tempest a Musclecar!!  This site is about '60s and '70's musclecars. Thus, a chase with an Audi or a Ferarri and a Porsche wouldn't be on my list!!  Ditto for the "Transporter" movies where Jason Statham drives either a BMW 733I or an Audi A8. For me to rank it, it has to feature American Muscle Cars. Just had to vent that. Mastermind

If your going to restore the car, do it right for God's sake!!!

Went to the Barrett-Jackson auction here for Hot August Nights. There was some really interesting stuff-a 1968 Z/28 Camaro with the rare, dual 600 Holley Cross-Ram intake, a 1972 Mustang Mach 1 with a 351CJ and a three-speed stick, a real 289 Cobra ( there were tons of Cobra kit cars there ) a couple of Hemi Superbirds, and the usual array of GTOs, SS Chevelles. 442s, Chargers, Road Runners, etc. A lot of them were pristine and very well done. What irked me, however, was there was a ton that people were asking big bucks for that were all screwed up. And I'm not being Concours show judge anal- ( "You have the wrong kind of hose clamps" ) . No, when I say screwed up-I mean one or several glaring flaws that ruined an otherwise great car. Like the '70 Chevelle that looked totally stupid with 24" inch wheels. I mean it looked like Hot Wheel parody. These huge wheels and the car riding on top of them. The wrong wheels was the biggest offense. And again- I'm not saying you have to only run factory wheels. There was a '70s Trans-Am there that had 17 inch Snowflakes that looked awesome. There was a 'Cuda AAR that had 17 inch Cragar S/S mags and fat, ZR rated rubber at all four corners that had probably the best stance of anything there. There was '69 Mach 1 Mustang with 16 inch Amaerican Racing Torq-Thrust mags and 245/50VR16 Comp T/'A's on it that looked badass. I understand wanting to have the ride and handling quality of modern radials. That's why Wheel Vintiques, Year One and other companies offer Chevrolet and Chrysler Rally wheels, Pontiac Rally IIs and Snowflakes, Ford Magnum 500s and others in 15", 16" and even 17" sizes. That's why companies like Cragar and American Racing offer classics like the Torq-Thrust, the S/S, the Keystone Klassic, the Ansen Sprint, and others in 15',16" and 17' sizes-so you can put modern VR or ZR rated performance tires on your classic musclecar and still have a period-correct look. I have no problem with that. What I have a problem with-besides the Chevelle with the 24s, there was a 1970 GTO Judge convertible with 20" wheels that should be in "Lowrider" magazine. And it had a cheap auto parts store wood steering wheel. Come on,man! You couldn't get a repro Luxury Cushion wheel from Year One? Or a "Formula" wheel out of a junk '70-81 Firebird? ( The T/A style "Formula" steering wheel was an option on all '70-72 LeMans / GTO models as well ). Then there was the 1969 SS396 Chevelle that had late '70's Vega / Camaro / Nova bucket seats-which are totally different from the Chevelle / Monte Carlo / GTO style buckets. It also had a butchered dash with a bunch of Auto Meter guages in it. There was the 69 Olds 442 with a B&M "Star Shifter". Again-Year One offers reproduction GM "A" body consoles and shifters. And the famous Hurst "Dual / Gate" shifter was a factory option. You can still buy these from Hurst or Year One, or Summit Racing, or NPD.  If it had the Hurst shifter it would have been super-cool. The B&M stood out like a sore thumb. Then there was the 1964 442 with a later-model 350 in it. How did I know? Well the HEI distributor was the 1st dead giveaway, and the 2nd was the Quadrajet carb on a manifold that had an EGR valve next to it!! The Q-Jet wasn't introduced until 1967, EGR in 1973, and HEI distributors in 1975!! So,yeah this looked a little out of place on a '64 442!!  Again-I'm not a "Just as it left the factory" freak. 330 Olds V8s are scarce. They've been out of production since 1967. The 350 that was used from 1968-1980 is a lot easier to find and looks the same externally. I have no problem with that. But he could have used a point-type distributor ( or a stock-looking Petronix if he wanted Electronic ignition ) and an Edelbrock manifold with a Carter AFB or at least an Edelbrock Performer carb. That would be period correct and like the Pure Stock drag rules the original "type".  You can say I'm nit-picking, but these people were asking 25. 30,40, or 50 thousand dollars for these cars. For that kind of money, they damn well better be "Right". That's all I'm saying. Mastermind        

I will not go quietly into that goodnight!!!!

Hot August Nights is here in Reno again, and again I'm disappointed. For years we had cool car related events, and first-class entertainment. Parades, burnout contests, drag races, and concerts featuring Rock and Roll Icons like Jerry Lee Lewis, Little Richard, The Beach Boys and The Righteous Brothers. Even the smaller casinos had people like Mitch Ryder, Paul Revere and the Raiders, Van Morrison, and Eric Burdon ( The Animals ) . Even after Bobby Hatifield died, Bill Medley still appeared, and sometimes Steve Miller or Davy Jones ( The Monkees ), or Elvin Bishop would appear. You know, people that actually had hits on the radio and did concerts in the '50's, '60's and '70's. Not so the last few years. The promoters and the casinos have gotten cheap. I realize there's a recession on, but Hot August Nights has always been a huge cash cow for the Reno-Tahoe area. More than 150,000 people visit for a week, and want to be entertained, if you can't ante up for this event, then turn out the lights. That would be like New Orleans getting lackadasical about Mardi Gras, or Sturgis slacking during the annual biker rally that attracts 400,000 people. I can't name an act that's appearing this year. I'm not kidding. These must be local garage bands or bar bands out of Sacramento. No one's asking for John Fogerty or Paul McCartney or the Eagles, but at least in years past, we got people like John Kay ( lead singer of Steppenwolf ), Mickey Thomas ( lead singer of Jefferson Starship ) , Gary Puckett ( "Woman,Woman", "Young Girl " "Lady Willpower" ), or even people like Peter Noone ( Herman's Hermits ). Again, you know, people who had recognizable hits that fans actually want to hear. I have absolutely no interest in a bunch  of  unknown 60 year old guys playing "Rock Around the Clock", or some clown who can't even get a job in a dive Vegas lounge with big sideburns murdering "Heartbreak Hotel" and making me wish Andrew "Dice" Clay would actually cut a CD of Elvis songs. And now there doing 1/8 mile drag races in Casino parking lots. Arrrrggghhhh!!!  This is so wrong. The reason is this really handicaps the really fast, big block cars. You don't even get out of second gear, and a lot of big-block cars, especially with street tires, spin the tires most of first gear. In a 1/4 mile drag race, a small-block car like a 327 Nova or 351 Mustang can get 2 car lengths off the line, and a 440 Road Runner or 454 Chevelle can catch it, pass it, and win by a car length and a half, as they pass through the traps around 90-110 mph. The race requires driving skill, managing shift points, and is an exciting duel of men and machine. Cut the distance in half- and here's what you have- who cares about a race where the guy with the holeshot automatically wins. Depending on axle ratio, some people might not even have to shift once, much less two or three times. I could enter my four-wheel drive Chrysler Magnum V8 engined Jeep Cherokee, put it in 4WD low range, and smoke 95% of the contestants to 45-55 mph!!!  That's not competitive drag racing, that's automotive masturbation. Again-the organizers and casinos being cheap. The insurance would be higher if they ran a full 1/4 mile. So ante up, and do it right. Or charge contestants more to cover the insurance costs. Top Gun Raceway, and Reno-Fernley Raceway both have full-on 1/4 mile drag races almost every weekend and are both less than 50 miles from Reno. In years past-they'd rent the old Reno-Stead Airport and do full-on 1/4 mile races there. No, were too cheap for that. And of course the rap that 1/8 mile races are safer because of the lower speeds. Who wants a slower, safer RACE??  I don't want to play or watch football on a 50 yard field and I don't want to play or watch basketball with a 5 foot high hoop, or baseball where pitchers can only throw the ball 50 mph, and I don't want to watch a boxing match where they guys don't hit each other in the head. I'm sick of the safety Nazis and Politically Correct groups ruining everything. I have to Quote Evel Knieval when he was guest-voicing on an episode of the "Simpsons". He told kids to stay in school and go to college and not count on sports or being a Daredevil to make money. Bart corners him after the speech and says "Evel, that was some load of crap you laid on the school board and the parents." "What's the real story?"  Evel looks around, and seeing no parents or school administrators, tells Bart-"Ok, here's the real scoop." "Bones heal, Chicks dig scars, Daredevils make tons of money, and America has the highest doctor-to-daredevil ratio in the world."  Bart says "Cool! Thanks Evel! " and of course decides to be a daredevil, much to Homer's dismay. I't s a joke, but we laugh because it's funny and we laugh because it's true. "Public Safety' is how the Nazis took over Germany. Don't let the bastards do it here.  Mastermind                

Some rare one or two year wonders that might be worth finding....

Here's some more one or two year wonders that are largely forgotten, but are still cool and wouldn't cost a mint to "Restify".  # 1. 1971-72 Dodge Demon. The 1970 Duster 340 was a sales smash and the buff magazines raved about their tremendous "Bang for the Buck". You could get the 340 in a Dart Swinger in 1970, however, the body was the much more sedate Dart / Valiant square sedan style, not the swoopy, semi-fastback muscular Duster style. Dodge wanted a piece of the action so in 1971 they basically put a Dart front clip on a 340 Duster and called it the Demon. They had every option that the Dusters had-the under-rated 275 hp high-performance 340 V8, a choice of a three or four-speed manual transmission or a three-speed automatic, and 3.23:1, 3.55:1 or 3.91:1 gearing. The Demon package also included a blacked out hood, cool stripes, a Go-Wing rear spoiler,and cute emblems of a small Devil holding a pitchfork. In 1972 the hood was changed to a single scoop instead of the two used in '71. Horsepower dropped slightly from 275 to 240 mainly because the compression ratio was lowered from 10:1 in '71 to 8.5:1 in '72. Performance was still good-"Cars" magazine tested a '72 340 Duster with a Torqueflite and the 3.55:1 axle and it turned in a blistering 14.34 1/4 mile e.t.  For some reason-maybe Dodge didn't promote the car properly-they didn't sell nearly as well as their Plynouth Duster counterparts. Mr Norm's Grand Spaulding Dodge built a few '71-72 Demons with Paxton Superchargers as a dealer-installed option. These were rockets, and are quite rare. You may find it hard to believe, but even in the '70's political correctness was creeping up on us. Several Christian Groups complained about the little devil with the pitchfork decals and the "Demon" name-which ironically stood for "Speed Demon" no religious connotation. Chrysler caved into the pressure and the Demon name was dropped for 1973, and the package was re-named "Dart Sport." If you can find one, they are a cool, fun ride-but I wouldn't pay any more for one than I would for a 340 Duster-that's basically what they are. # 2. 1972-73 Mercury Montego GT. These little-known gems are based on the Ford Torino chassis, which was extensively re-designed for 1972, using a body-on-frame design instead of the previous models unit-body construction. The result was a drastic improvement in ride and handling. While the 2 and 4 door Montego sedans sales were up like 136% over '71, the swoopy, fastback GT model wasn't promoted by Lincoln-Mercury. Thus, only 5,800 were built in 1972 and another 4,664 in 1973. David Pearson won a bunch of NASCAR races for the Wood brothers in this body. I personally like this style better than the Gran Torino Sport which is more common. 429 versions are going to be rare and pricey, but the majority are going to have 351C power with either a 2 or 4bbl carb, which is, if anything a plus factor. There's tons of aftermarket speed parts available for these engines to this day. Most will be automatics, but there are some 4-speed versions out there-expect to pay more for these. 302 versions will be the cheapest, but since the cars weigh close to 4,000 lbs, they are a little underpowered. If you can find one, they are a cool, unique ride, and though rare, will probably be priced lower than a same-year Mustang, Torino or Cougar simply because people don't know about them. But that's good for you, the buyer. In 1974, the fastback was dropped, and the Montego line now shared most of it's underpinnings with the Cougar, which was now based on the heavier and uglier Lincoln MKIV platform. Yuk. # 3. 1974-75 AMC Matador Coupe. The Matador was extensively redesigned for 1974 with a swoopy fastback body. It was so aerodynamic, that much to everyone's surprise-Mark Donohue and Bobby Allison won several big NASCAR races in these cars. 62,000 were sold in 1974 alone, so there out there. The bodystyle hung around until 1978, but the '74-75 models are the most desirable because they could be had with the 360 and 401 4bbl V8s. 1976 and later models had the 304 or 360 2bbls, which had the dual attributes of no power and crappy gas mileage, which contributed to their sales slide and ultimate demise. On the upside, if you find one, it will probably be cheap as even hard-core AMC enthusiasts are busy fighting with machetes for 1968-74 Javelins and AMX's. Further-although 401 versions may be rare-the AMC 360 V8 was used in millions of Jeep Grand Wagonneers until 1992, so finding a replacement engine in a junkyard will be easy, and there is good aftermarket support-Edelbrock even makes performance aluminum heads for these engines.  # 4. 1975 Plymouth Road Runner. Before you Mopar fans start howling, yes, I know the last "Real" Road Runner-i.e.-the "B" body Satellite based model ended it's run in 1974. However-the Brass at Plymouth had some pride. While Dodge shamelessly put the revered Charger name on a re-badged Chrysler Cordoba, ( Yuk! ) the boys at Plymouth put the Road Runner name on the "C" body Sport Fury which offered some performance. Look at it like Elwood Blues-"It's got Cop tires, Cop Brakes, Cop shocks...." The standard engine was a 318, but the ones to look for are the 360 and 400 versions. You got standard power front disc brakes, front and rear sway bars, a Torquelite and a 3.21:1 rear axle and the famous "Beep-Beep" horn. The buff magazines of the day derided the car and it's 16 second 1/4 mile times ( 1975 was the 1st year of catalytic converters, everything was a dog ) but at least Plymouth was TRYING. The Javelin was no more, ditto for the 'Cuda / Challenger, the Mustang was now Pinto / Capri based, there were no more GTOs, or SS Chevelles, and the Z/28 took a 2 1/2 year hiatus from 1974-77. Gee, wonder why Pontiac Trans-Am sales increased 100%-200% every year from 1973-76? ( And that was BEFORE "Smokey and the Bandit" which was released in 1977 ). On the upside over 7,000 were built so their not moon rocks, Mopar Purists snub them like the plague so they'll be cheap, and that engine bay will swallow a 440 or a crate Hemi like it grew there if you want to hot rod one. # 5. 1977 Olds Cutlass 442. "The Last of the Mohicans". The last "Real" 442-i.e. built on the "A" body platform with an engine over 400 cubes. Swoopy aero-nose and fastback rear window made this body much more aerodynamic than it's flat-nosed, notchback base model Cutlasss, Chevy Monte Carlo and Pontiac Gran Prix cousins. So much so that Richard Petty switched from Dodge to this body ( When his '74 Charger was outlawed ) and won a bunch of NASCAR races. Besides the "442" graphics you got F41 supension, cool interior options like swivel bucket seats, and a 350 or 403 V8. ( The 455 was dropped after 1976 ). More than 11,000 were built, and there is good aftermarket support for speed parts, and any suspension or brake upgrades that fit a Chevelle / Monte Carlo fit these cars. The GM mid-sizes were downsized for '78, and Olds shamelessly put the Cuatlass and 442 nameplates on everything under the sun trying to drive sales in the late '70's and early '80's, with the all time low having the legendary moniker on a 4-cylinder, front-drive Calais in 1985. However the '77 models are the last of the "big" ( 1964-77 ) Cutlass "A" bodies, and except for the smog-choked engines, arguably the best of the breed. Mastermind          

"Vanishing Point" remake.....made me want to vomit....day-glo.....

Was up late one night this week and couldn't sleep and one of the cable channels had the "Vanishing Point" remake on. I watched it, and was pissed off from beginning to end. First off, don't try to top a cult classic. If they wanted to do a homage, they should have stuck to the original story. At least the Coen brothers didn't screw up "True Grit". No one can snarl "Fill your hand, you sonofabitch!" Like John Wayne. But Jeff Bridges didn't try to copy the Duke, he did Rooster Cogburn his own way, and although I still liked the original better, it was at least watchable and entertaining. Not so with the "Vanishing Point" redux. 1st off they totally changed the story. For those not familiar-in the original 1971 version "Kowalski" was an ex-Vietnam Vet, ex-cop, and ex-auto and motorcycle racer working as a delivery driver for a high-end auto dealer. He bets his drug-dealer the tab for some speed that he can make it from Denver to San Francisco in 15 hours in the 1970 Challenger R/T that he's driving. Along the way he's helped by a blind, clairvoyant outlaw DJ named "Super Soul" -brilliantly played by a young Cleavon Little, as part Stevie Wonder, and part Malcolm X. He also meets a snake charmer, beats up a gay couple that try to car-jack him, gets gas from some Jesus Freaks, and meets a naked motorcycle rider who's boyfriend gives him some speed and helps him beat a roadblock as he leads the police on a cross-country chase. Awesome car-chase action, and we see in flashbacks why he's not a cop anymore, and that his wife died in a surfing accident, which is why he doesn't give a shit about anything. He misses the timeline and dies in a blaze of glory hitting bulldozers on the California state line. A cool, existentialist story that's still cool today, and the soundtrack, featuring music by Mountain, Jerry Reed, Kim Carnes, Rita Coolidge, and Big Mama Thornton, is awesome. The smile on Barry Newman's face as he races toward the bulldozers is ethereal. To quote MC Hammer-"Can't Touch This". The producers shouldn't have. In the remake Kowalski as played by Viggo Mortenson ( "A History of Violence" "Eastern Promises" ) is a Desert Storm Vet-working as a delivery driver for a high-end car dealer that specializes in musclecars. And he's delivering a Hemi Challenger to a customer. ( Why that matters, I don't know-the original was a 440 Magnum ) That's all well and good. Then they get politically correct and stupid. His wife is nine months pregnant and suffers from Lupus. Ok, right here story ends after 15 minutes. Why take the job delivering the Challenger? If she's due any day, stay with her until the kid is born, and then take the next run. He leaves, and of course she goes into labor and has complications. That's the reason he's racing home. Much more politically correct than trying to beat a drug dealer out of a few hundred. Gag. And, excuse me? If your pregnant wife is dying, why wouldn't you park the car and get on a plane?  "Super Soul" not only isn't blind, he also isn't black, and isn't psychic. He's over-acted by Jason Priestley as an obnoxious right-wing DJ whose views are a little to the right of the Unabomber, and unlike Cleavon Little who steers him away from the "Blue Meanies", takes a beating from some racists, prays for Kowalski until the end, and screams "Stop!" as he's racing toward the bulldozers, Priestley rats him out to the cops. And for some reason he's chased by a Maniacal cop played by Steve Railsback-( "The Stunt Man" "Helter Skelter" ) who ditches his police car and joins the chase in his personal 1970 Charger R/T. He doesn't just want to catch Kowalski, he wants to kill him. Why? Because he's breaking the speed limit? Since when does reckless driving carry the death penalty?  The smokin' hot Peta Wilson ( "La Femme Nikita", "Mercy", "The League of Extraordinary Gentleman" ) is completely wasted as the motorcycle rider. Not only is she not naked, we don't even get a PG-13 shot of her say, barefoot in a bikini. No she's fully clothed in shorts and steel-toed combat boots. And her boyfriend just happens to have an E-body Hemi oil pan laying around in his pile of automotive junk that he gives to Kowalski after he springs a leak in the original one. That's much more politically correct and noble than her being naked, and offering him sex and a joint, and her man giving him speed, right? Gag. His wife dies in childbirth, and they imply at the end that he somehow bailed out of the car before it hit the bulldozers ( at 100 mph??!!! ) escaped the police and lived happliy ever after raising his kid. Gag, choke, retch. A colossal waste of time and money, desecrating a classic. The only worse case was when TNT cast 72 year old Tom Skerrit and 53 year old Maria Conchita Alonso in the roles of Sheriff Will Kane and the Mexican hooker who secretly owned the town originally played by 42 year old Gary Cooper and 28 year old Katy Jurado in "High Noon". If you can't improve on something ( which they usually can't ) then just leave it alone. Mastermind.    

More one or two year wonders......

In the last post I laid out a "Baker's Dozen" ( 13 ) cars that were only produced for one or two years, but offered tremendous bang for the buck. Here's a few more that not many people know about, but are still way cool. # 1. 1969-70 Mercury Cougar "Eliminator". 428CJ versions are expensive, but 351W and 351C versions are no more than a same-year 351 Mustang. But they have the cool hidden headlight body, with the scooped, flat-black hood, stripes, front and rear spoilers,and Rally wheels. And Cougars usually have many upgrades like leather seats, factory air, front disc brakes, etc. # 2. 1971-72 "Heavy Chevy". This was a base model Malibu with an "SS" style domed hood, 14" slotted Rally wheels, and special "Heavy Chevy" striping and lettering. They were available with any V8 from a 307 to a 396. ( 402 ). However, the majority are 350 powered, which certainly isn't a bad thing, or you could swap in a Rat pretty easily. Nearly 7,000 were built in 1971 alone, and a couple thousand more in the strike-shortened '72 model year. # 3. 1974 Pontiac GTO. Often called the "Best Nova" ever built. Since GTO sales had declined every year since 1970, the nameplate was shifted from the mid-size "A" body LeMans Platform to the compact "X" body ( read Nova ) platform, and for the first time in it's history the "Goat" had an engine under 389 cubes. It featured front and rear sway bars, front disc brakes, a Trans-Am style "Shaker" hood scoop, special striping and a 350 V8 backed by a 4-speed or a TH350 automatic. Weighing 600 lbs less than a Firebird, performance wasn't bad for the time-0-60 in under 7 seconds, and 15 second 1/4 mile times. However, since the Trans-Am was now the flagship-a 455 SD model would still run very low 14s or very high 13s in the 1/4, and since you could still get a 400 with a 4-speed or a 455 with a TH400 in a 2 dr LeMans, or Grand Am, the buff magazines howled to the heavens and derided the car. Pontiac Purists snub them, but 7,058 were built, and if you want a badass "Pro Touring" sleeper-a 400 or 455 is a bolt-in swap, and any suspension or brake upgrades that fit a Camaro / Firebird fit these cars. # 4. 1977 Pontiac Can Am. Trying to capitalize on the Trans-Am's immense popularity, Pontiac introduced this appearance / performance package on the LeMans. It included a Trans-Am style "shaker" hood scoop, a white paint job with multi-colored "Judge" style stripes, a "ducktail" rear spoiler, a Gran Prix instrument panel and radial tuned suspension and a 400 Pontiac V8 or 403 Olds V8 ( in California ) backed by a TH400. If you can find one, their a cool ride. # 5. 1980 4-speed Z/28 Camaro. For this one year only, you could get a 350 V8, a functioning cowl induction hood, and a BW T10 4-speed with a 3.44 1st geat and a 2.28 2nd, coupled with a 3.08:1 posi rear end. This combo had better 0-60 and 1/4 mile acceleration, higher top speed, and better gas mileage than the '77-79 models 2.64 low gear 4-speed and 3.73:1 final drive. For some perverse reason, in 1981 the 350 was only available with an automatic. If you wanted a 4-speed, you got a 305. Yuk. With the exception of the 1970-74 LT1 / L82 models, the '80 Z/28 was the best balanced, best performing and best handling 2nd gen Camaro built. The 350 / automatic 1980 models are scooters too with their 3.42:1 rear axle, but they don't have quite the acceleration or top-end of the 4-speed models. # 6. 1983 "Cross-Fire" Injected  Z/28 Camaro / Firebird Trans-Am. For this one year you got a Cross-Fire injected 305 and a 4-speed automatic. This dramatically improved acceleration and gas mileage over the '82 models which had a 3-speed.  Most 3rd gen enthusiasts want the carburated L69 or the Tuned Port injected LB9 models. For this reason, these are dirt cheap, and with a little tweaking, can run surprisingly good.  #7 1982 Corvette. For this one year only-you got the last of the C3 bodystyle and a Cross-Fire injected 350 backed by a 4-speed automatic. 'Vette collectors snub these cars like the plague-they want the 1980 and earlier carburated L48 and L82 models, or the '85 and later Tuned-Port injected L98 C4 models. Thus they can be bought for less than a lot of other model years. If you want a unique C3 'Vette-they make nice drivers, and their performance isn't bad-sub 7 second 0-60  and 15 second 1/4 mile times were good for the time, and their is more speed equipment available for a 350 Chevy than anything else on the planet if you want more oomph. # 8. 1978-79 Dodge Magnum. With the Pontiac Trans-Am and Chevy Camaro selling in record numbers, Chrysler bean counters were sorely missing the 'Cuda / Challenger line that they gave up on 3 years earlier-the exact time that T/A sales began skyrocketing. Putting the revered Charger name on a re-badged Cordoba and the sacred Road Runner name on a Volare' caused howls of derision from the automotive press, and they flopped badly. They needed a rear-wheel drive performance car in the worst way, and they came out with these swoopy bodied 2 doors that had hidden headlights and even T-tops. If they'd  put a 440 in them, they might have had something. The only engines were anemic 318 and 360s, and there was no manual transmission option. The only part of a T/A or Z/28 Camaro these cars would ever see is the taillights. Richard Petty tried to run one in NASCAR, and had such bad luck that he switched to an Olds Cutlass. If you can find one, they'll probably be cheap, and they are unique, and with a hotted-up 360 or a 440 swapped in, you could have a real sleeper.  Mastermind