More magazine test car "Ringers".......

A lot of guys wonder why they don't get the same results that the car magazines do even if their running the exact same parts. Well the problem is they don't read the whole article- or they don't comprehend it. Here's a perfect example-A few years ago Hot Rod had a "Crate Motor Shootout'. They put 8 different GMPP crate motors in a '69 Chevelle and drag tested them. All of the engines went blisteringly fast- the ZZ4 350 ran a 12.44, the ZZ383 ran 11.73, the 427 Rat ran an 11.35, and the ZZ572 ran an ungodly 10.21. The LS motors all ran in the 11s, except for the little 5.3-and it ran a 12.39. With only 325 hp?  However- the Chevelle was a gutted race car that only weighed 3,300 lbs with a 10 point cage and a 4 link ladder bar suspension. It also had slicks, and open exhaust, 4.30:1 gears and a TH400 with a trans-brake and a torque converter with a 4,800 rpm stall speed!! So "Joe Average" puts a ZZ4 or ZZ383 into his full-bodied Chevelle that weighs 3,800+ has a stock suspension, a full exhaust system, street tires, 3.31:1 gears, and a TH350 with a stock conveter. The car's fast-and fun to drive-but he can't break out of the 13s. Why doesn't his car run low 12s or high 11s like the test mule?  I just said why-it's 500 lbs heavier, has a suspension set up for handling instead of drag racing, and oh yeah-the trans brake, 4.30 gears and 5 grand converter offer a lot of mechanical advantage!!! It's really not cool that they do that. 1st off, a car with a 4,800 rpm converter is almost undriveable on the street. Even with 4.30 gears, the 60 mph freeway cruise rpm would still be well below the stall speed. Even with an auxilary cooler-you'd burn up the tranny in less than 100 miles!  Another bad one was Car Craft bragging that their "Stock" 5.0 1991 Mustang ran a blistering 14.05 e.t. It was stock except for the K&N airbox, the cat-back Flowmaster exhaust, the 3.73:1 gears, and 235 / 60R15 M&H wrinklewall drag radials. Gee, maybe that's why every other magazine-running stock exhaust, 2.73:1 or 3.08:1 gears, and 225 / 60R15 street tires could only run between 14.72 and 15.29!!!  Their still doing it. They raved how a "Stock" 2011 Camaro SS ran high 11s.  How'd they do that when every other magazine on the planet runs low 13s with a new Camaro?  By disconnecting the front sway bar for better weight transfer, swapping the Pirelli PZzeros for drag radials with 15 psi in them, dropping the clutch at 4,500 rpm and oh-yeah adding a "Shot" of nitrous!!!  That's realistic. Everyone drives around with their front sway bar disconnected, 15 psi in their rear tires and a nitrous system fully armed right??   Mastermind