If your going to argue....Be sure your comparing "Apples to Apples"...

Got some rants from people who are "Off-Brand" lovers about the superiority of their rides over typical GM, Ford and Mopar offerings that they supported with old magazine road tests. I hate to use the teenage text term "LOL", but I was laughing out loud. Dreamer #1 Cited a 1973 Motor Trend "Ponycar Round-up" where the Javelin AMX was the fastest 0-60 and in the 1/4 mile. Except the Javelin was a 255 hp 401 / 4-speed model with a 3.54:1 Sure-Grip axle-the highest-perfromance model of the line. The Camaro was a Type LT with a 165hp 2bbl 350 with an automatic and 2.73:1 gears. The Firebird was an Esprit with a 150 hp 2bbl 350 and an automatic and 3.08;1 gears, and the Mustang was a Grande with a 177 hp 2bbl 351and an automatic with 2.80:1 gears. Now, if the Camaro had been a Z/28 with the 250 hp L82, a 4-speed and 3.73:1 gears, the results would have been much different. Ditto if the Mustang had been a 266 hp 351CJ with a 4-speed and 3.50:1 gears. And Toss out the 310 hp SD 455 Trans-Am ( only 252 were built ) if the Pontiac had been a standard 250 hp L75 455 T/A with either a 4-speed or a TH400 and 3.42:1 gears, OR even a 230 hp L78 Formula 400 with a 4-speed and 3.42:1 gears, the Javelin would have finished dead last as all of those Top-of-the-Line models tested by other mags recorded quicker 0-60 and 1/4 mile times than the AMX. Motor Trend apologized in the article saying the lesser GM and Ford offerings were all that was available from the factories test fleets, and alluded to the fact the results would have been very different had they all been premium models. Dreamer #2 cited a 1969 Road Test where a GS400 Buick Skylark was faster in the 1/4 than a GTO and an SS396 Chevelle. Except he didn't take into account the fact that the Buick was a Stage 1 model with a 4-speed and 4.30:1 gears,while the GTO was a standard 350 hp model with a 3-speed stick and 3.36:1 gears, and the Chevelle was a 325 hp automatic with 3.31:1 gears. Again-if the GTO had been a Ram Air IV with a 4-speed and 4.33:1 gears, or if the Chevelle had been a solid-lifter L78 model with a 4-speed and 4.11:1 gears the Buick would have finished dead last. Dreamer #3 was another AMC lover. He cited a 1972 Muscle Car comparo as totally biased because the Chevelle SS was a 454, the GTO was a 455HO, and the Dodge Charger was a 440 Magnum, while the Javelin AMX had a 401. He whined-"Of course a 440 Charger or a 454 Chevelle or a 455 GTO can beat a 401 Javelin in a drag race." That's not fair at all". He failed to note that the Javelin DID beat both the 429 Torino and the 455 Olds Cutlass in the 1/4 in the same test, and he failed to note that unlike the Motor Trend debacle-Cars magazine went out of their way to make sure every car was the top performance optioned model. In fact-There was also an LT-1 350 Z/28 Camaro, and a 351HO Mustang Mach 1 tested-and a 340 'Cuda tested-and ALL THREE of those cars beat the Javelin, the Torino and the Cutlass in the drag race. So it was about as fair as it could be. He also failed to note that the writer stated that the 429 in the Torino was rated at only 205 hp and was basically a "Station Wagon" engine, and that Ford said the 266 hp 351CJ would have been their top choice for getting maximum performance out of a Torino, and that the Olds rep was upset that a W30 455 442 with a 4-speed or a TH400 and 3.42:1 gears wasn't available, that they only had Cutlass S with the "Station Wagon" base 455 and 2.73:1 gears. Dreamer #4 was Ford guy who was pissed about a couple of early '90s Ford vs Chevy performance comparos-saying the results weren't fair and the writers were pro-GM. His gripe was the one test featured a 5-speed 5.0 Mustang against an automatic L98 IROC-Z. His contention was of course the Camaro was faster as it had 350 cubes versus the Mustang's 302. He said they should have used a 305 / 5-speed model. Again he's not grasping-the magazine got the top performance package for each model. He had the same gripe about a "Muscle Truck" comparo-saying it wasn't fair that the SS454 Chevy was quicker than the 351 engined Ford Ligtning pickup. Again-that was the top option for each model. GM guys didn't gripe back in the '70's when Trans-Ams had 400 or 455 cubes under the hood and all you could get in a Z/28 or a Corvette was a 350. Get over yourselves guys, you may love your cars, but sorry their was bigger, badder stuff offered by other manufacturers. Live with it. Mastermind

Why can't movie studios just pack it in with dignity?......

Saw in the paper that Universal is delaying the release of "Fast&Furious 7" from July 2014 to April 2015 because of Paul Walker's untimely death in a car accident. The movie is apparently half-finished, and their going to have to do some serious re-writing and re-shooting to explain Walker's sudden absence. Like Ditka says on "Monday Night Football"- "Come on, Man!"  The F&F movies have grossed something like 2 billion dollars worldwide. Why don't they just say-"Hey-we had a helluva run." "How tragic that one of the two major stars of the series died." "Out of respect for Paul Walker and his family, the project is scrapped." The movie "Frogmen" which starred O.J. Simpson as a Navy Seal trained asassin was never released following his murder trial. That studio had class-because it would have grossed a mint. But apparently greed now takes prescidence over class. Or they could at least scrap the footage and the storyline they had,start over, and open with Brian 'O Connor's murder and have Dominic Torretto and crew spend the rest of the movie avenging his death. That would be somewhat classy. But they never do anything classy, they just want the cash. The 1st "Smokey and the Bandit" was and still is a classic. The 2nd one got stupid with the pregnant elephant, and Buford T. Justices' triplet brothers, etc. Then the producers totally lost their mind and did "Smokey and the Bandit 3" with Jerry Reed and Jackie Gleason, but NO Burt Reynolds!!!  I don't need to say how awful that was. The first two "Die Hard" movies were excellent, the 3rd with Samuel Jackson was ok. Bruce Willis is over 60 now, can we just stop? The last two sucked ass in my opinion. The stories were too far-fetched, and Willis just phoned in his performances. The same with the "Lethal Weapon" series. The first two were magical, the third one with Rene Russo playing Rigg's butt-kicking girlfriend was ok, but the 4th one was awful and unnecessary. This isn't a recent problem. They ran "Death Wish" into the ground with what five or six of them? They only stopped because Charles Bronson died. And again-the original was awesome, number two was pretty good. Then they got stupid the cops recruit Paul Kersey to go after gang-bangers? Puhleeze. And how many times can one guys wives, daughters, girlfriends, co-workers, etc get raped and murdered?  Bronson must have been in tax trouble or something and really needed the money. Remember "Charlie's Angels?" That show was a mega mash. Then Farrah-Fawcett Majors quits in a blaze of glory. They replace her with the sexier Cheryl Ladd, and say she's Jill Monroe's sister. They got away with that, and as long as Cheryl and Jaclyn Smith spent a lot of time barefoot in bikinis, and got chloroformed and tied up once in a while while Kate Jackson and David Doyle raced to save them it was ok. It still had good ratings as teenage boys didn't have internet porn back then. But then Kate Jackson quit and was replaced with the awful Shelly Hack. ( The "Charlie" perfume model ). She wasn't bad-looking, but she was a horrible actress, even by campy t.v show standards. Then they replaced her with Tanya Roberts, who had a smokin body, but was an even worse actress than Shelly Hack. Then they decided to move the detective agency from Los Angeles to Hawaii so they could keep Smith, Ladd and Roberts in bikinis at ALL times. Needless to say it crashed and burned and was mercifully cancelled. I think they've done the same thing with "Sons of Anarchy." I loved it the first few seasons. But jeez, they've gone too far. How many people can one guy kill and get away with it? I mean Jax Teller killed Clay, he killed Tara's stalker ex-boyfriend, he killed some IRA members,he killed Adrienne Barbeau playing their tranny hooker buddies mother. Somebody's going to get this fucker someday-the cops aren't that inept. Jax's mother kills his wife? Come on, even in a show about low-lifes, that pretty much ends it. What are they going to do next season? "Two and a Half Men after Charlie Sheen left?" There's a time to say "We had a helluva run, but it's over." "Let's do something else."  But they won't if they think they can make a nickel. Sad that art or quality entertainment doesn't matter anymore, only cash.  Mastermind        

Factory Five has cool replicas.....

Factory Five racing sells some awesome kit cars. My two favorites are the Shelby Cobra replica and the '33 Ford coupe hot rod. Both use '87-2004 Mustang suspension, and the frames can be setup for either a small-block Chevy, Small-block Ford or 4.6 / 5.4 Ford mod motor. The complete kits with everything except engine and tranny run $19,000. So for 25K you could have an awesome machine that will humiliate 100K sports cars in a drag race or the twisties, and has a vintage look. Since the cars only weigh 2,100 lbs, with a mild 345 hp Ford 302 crate engine Hot Rod magazine ran 4 second 0-60 times and 12 flat 1/4 miles. And they pulled something like .096g on the skidpad-that's Corvette and Porsche Cayman territory. To me their a screaming bargain-theres no way you could get "real" Shelby Cobra or '33 Ford for 25K. Something to think about. Mastermind

"Project Off-Brand?" It might be cool.......

I was thinking that since all the buff magazines do "Popular" cars for their projects- i.e.-Camaros, Firebirds, Mustangs, Chevelles, Road Runners, etc it might be do neat to do something not so mainstream. I'm thinking maybe a '68-77 Buick Skylark / Regal / Century. Any suspension or brake upgrades that fit a Chevelle would fit these cars so you could make it handle or hook for the dragstrip. A 400 / 430 / 455 Buick V8 has a ton of torque to begin with, and there is fair aftermarket support-Edelbrock heads and intakes, Crane Cams etc. Or-especially since were not doing a '70 GSX-were talking a garden variety Skylark 2 dr-maybe go really low-budget and swap in a 472 or 500 Cadillac engine?  Another good one would be a '73-79 Olds Omega. A 403 would drop right in place of a 350 or even the later "economy" 260 V8s. Or you could get a 350 Olds Diesel block and stroke it to 440 inches.  Any suspension or brake upgrades that fit a Camaro / Firebird or Nova fit these cars, and their about 700 lbs lighter than a Cutlass. It would be both unique and fast.  The last choice would be a '71-77 AMC Gremlin or Hornet. Stop laughing-their light weight and short wheelbase makes them good drag racers. A 304 V8 version would be the way to go. Since AMC's are like Pontiacs-their all externally identical you could easily infuse some serious power. 390s and 401s are scarce, but 360s were used in Grand Waggoneers until 1992 so there's plenty of them in junkyards. Edelbrock offers performance aluminum heads and intakes and there's cams, headers, etc out there. One of these would be a great sleeper-stock looking wheels, dog-dish hubcaps,-until you hit the loud pedal and surprise some arrogant "Real" musclecar driver from a light. Something to think about. Maybe one of the buff magazines will see this and run with it......Mastermind

Why Sports Car guys are smarter.....

Sports car enthusiasts often look down their noses at musclecar enthusiasts and I'm sad to say I think their right. Doesn't matter if it's Hot Rod, Car Craft, Popular Hot Rodding, Mopar Action, Mustang Monthly or anything else. From cover to cover all you see is classic iron with Chevy LS motors, 5.7, 6.1 and 6.4 fuelie Hemis in vintage Mopars and 4.6 and 5.0 or 5.4 Ford mod motors stuffed in classic Mustangs, T-Birds and Toinos. And it's not just the engines; a '55 Chevy with a Morrisson frame, 2009 Corvette suspension and brakes and an LS9 backed by a 4L80E is not cool.  Neither is a '70's T/A with an LS motor, DSE front and rear subframes, rack&pinion steering, a four-link rear suspension with a narrowed 9" Ford rear end. You buy an old car because it's OLD, because it's totally different from what's NEW. You buy it because you love it's charachter, flaws and all. Sometimes the flaws are what makes them great. '60's and '70's Porsche 911s are beasts that don't suffer fools lightly. If your not a skilled driver with balls of steel, at track day or on a country road, let off the gas in a curve and they'll swap ends on you sending you into the ditch or worse. ( That's what happened to Paul Walker and his pal, even all the electronic nannies in the world can't save you if you push a 911 too hard ). Indy 500 winner Danny Ongais responded when asked by Car and Diver- "How do you corner fast in your 911 Turbo?" He responded- "I don't corner fast in my 911 Turbo". Porschephiles are proud of this. Either your a man or a mouse. If you don't like the way they handle then don't buy one. "Drivability?"  Get a Jag or a Ferarri, candy-ass. Check out the Porsche enthusiast magazines.  You NEVER, EVER see a 1969 911S with a modern 3.6 fuelie engine, and suspension with all the electronic nannies that the factory has added since the '80's to keep yuppies from wrecking them and make-them more user-friendly. Now, you may see a 1971 911T with headers, two Weber carbs, some hot cams, Koni shocks and Mini-Lite wheels mounting larger, stickier tires, but that's still keeping the faith and improving the car's performance within reasonable parameters. You'll never see one with a 2010 Cayman powertrain and suspension. Yet you see '70 Charger R/T's and '70 Z/28's and '68 GTOs all desecrated with modern fuelie motors and more. Why?  The Porsche guys aren't "Lone Wolves" either. Got to a Jag club meeting or an Aston-Martin owners show-n-shine or a Ferarri club meeting. Again-you will NEVER see a "Goldfinger" DB5 with a V8 out of 2006 Vantage or a '70's Volante with a V12 out of a Vanquish. You won't see a 1973 Ferarri 246 Dino with a 2007 F430 engine and tranny in it;s ass end. Ditto for a Pantera owner's club. You may see some Edelbrock aluminum heads, or even a 429 swapped in place of the 351; but you'll NEVER, EVER see a Pantera with a blown 5.4 Mod Motor out of 2011 GT500 Mustang. They tweak 'em with carb,or fuel-injection ,cam and exhaust tuning, they play with shocks and sway bars and wheels and tires. You might see some Brembo calipers and cross-drilled rotors, but the cars aren't butchered beyond redemption. They have all their original charm with a litlle more grunt and grip. Even Datsun Z guys are the same. You'll see some headers and Weber carbs, or maybe a 5-speed out of a '78 280 in a '73 240, but you won't see a 2009 350Z motor and tranny in one. Sports car guys respect the old iron and want to preserve them for future generations. They get it. Like I've said before-you don't buy a WWII Vintage Colt .45 and put laser sights on it. If you play with airplanes you don't buy a P51 fighter plane and put a jet engine in it. You don't have to say it guys. I'm already looking for a 1968-73 911 ( with the small bumpers and no smog equipment; '74 and later models had big 5-mph bumpers and like American cars of the same vintage, ever-tightening emission controls ). And I'll be giving the "finger" to every '65 Mustang with an '80s "5.0" powertrain that I pass. Mastermind      

A "Movie Car" Tribute doesn't haven't to be exact to the nth degree....

We've talked a lot about musclecars in movies, and a lot of people have wanted to copy them. Well, if you want a copy of a movie car-it doesn't have to be exact. For example-A fastback '67-68 Mustang painted Dark Highland Green with Torq-Thrust mags looks just like the Iconic "Bullitt" Mustang. Even if it's a 289 / automatic instead of a 390 / 4-speed.  An Alpine White '70 Challenger R/T with Rallye Wheels will pass for a "Vanishing Point" clone, even if it's a 340 or a 383 with an automatic. It doesn't have to be a 440 / 4-speed. Hell, a 318 version will pass to  most people. A black '77-78 Trans-Am will do-it doesn't have to be a t-topped SE model for people to get the "Smokey and the Bandit" vibe. Any '73 Mustang fastback painted yellow with black stripes can be an "Eleanor" clone-even a 302 verson. It doesn't have to be a Mach 1. A Brown '71-'72 LTD sedan with black wheels, chrome lug nuts, and white letter tires will pass for a clone of "Gator's" "Whiskey Runner" in White Lightning. Even if it has a 2bbl 400C and an FMX. It doesn't have to be a 429 / 4-speed. Any '73-74 Pontiac Ventura painted silver with moon hubcaps can be a "Seven-Ups" clone. Even if it's not a hatchback or has a Chevy engine. See what I'm saying?  A '68-72 Nova painted flat black with Rally wheels an a skull on the hood can pass for Kurt Russel's "Death Proof" ride. It doesn't have to have a 10-point cage, fiberglas buckets, and a B&M Star Shifter. You can have fun and honor your favorites without spending a mint. It's weird-but I'd like to have a black, flourescent striped, "''Nite Package" '78-79 Bronco like the killer pimp "RamRod" ( played by Wings Hauser) had in "Vice Squad". They had no power and got crappy gas mileage, but man they looked cool. And hey-with an Edelbrock Performer intake, carb and cam package, some headers and loud exhausts, a shift kit and some "33" inch BFG's, I'd be more badass than "RamRod"ever dreamed.......Just a thought. Mastermind  

RIP Paul Walker...

Sad news this week. Paul Walker, star of the ":Fast and Furious" movies and several others was killed in a car crash this week. Even sadder-the poor bastard wasn't driving, a friend was. He was a passenger when his buddy lost control of a Porsche 911 and hit a telephone pole. Apparently they were going very fast, and the car exploded into a fireball and they both burned to death. Horrible. He was only 40, and according to everyone who knew him was a great guy. He organized charities for children in third-world countries and tried to help under-priveliged people all over the world.  Even though gossipers said he and Vin Diesel butted heads over creative differences during the filming of the "F&F" movies and even came to blows once, Diesel cried uncontrollably at his funeral and said he had lost a very good friend. They were working on "F&F 7" at the time. Hopefully the producers will have class enough to just bag it and say "We had a helluva run"  Diesel is a good actor, and in the previews it looked like tough-guy Jason Statham had joined the fray, but when the freaking star dies, you have to give up. Anyhow, he was a good actor, a gearhead and an all-around good guy according to everyone who knew him. May he rest in Valhalla. Mastermind  

Why is everybody so F%^&ing Stupid?!!!

If you saw the Puppet Comedy "Team America" your laughing right now. The Kim Jong Il Puppet screams at his cabinet "Why is everybody so F^&*ing stupid?!!"  I feel that way when trying to buy and sell musclecars. I'm trying to sell my Hurst / Olds. It has a ZZ4 Chevy crate engine in it with less than 5,000 miles on it. It needs a new vynil top and the swivel seats recovered. But it's straight and rust-free, runs like a scalded cat, and everything including the tach and the 8-track tape player works. I'm also including the original numbers-matching 455 Olds engine and BOP bolt-pattern TH400 tranny. And I'm only asking $6,500 for it. Think-the virgin one of 1,097 ever made 442 / H / O body is worth five grand if it's worth a nickel. The ZZ4 crate engine is worth $5,200 according to Summitt Racing. And your getting the original engine and tranny too. That's a screaming deal for anyone who wants a 442 or maybe has a Camaro or Corvette they need a motor for too. You should hear the moronic comments I've gotten from some people. "Gee, the paint is kind of faded." "The seats need to be recovered."  Yeah!!!!  If it was a frame-off resto ready for the cover of Musclecar Review or the Concours show circuit I'd be asking 25 grand for it instead 6 you moron!!!  Here's a couple more of my personal favorites. A friend of mine called on a '68 Chevelle that was for sale. He asked what engine it had. "It's a small-block" the guy on the phone sneered. "Ok, is it a  307, 327 or 350?" "How should I know?" "It's your car."  "What transmission does it have?" "An automatic." "Is it a Turbo 350 or a Powerglide?" "What does that mean?"  "Is it a two-speed or a three speed?"  "I SAID it's an automatic!!" "Are you stupid?"  "Apparently so, for trying to deal with an asshole like you."  Click.  Another good one was a friend who called on a 1972 Olds 442. "Is it a W30?"  "I think so." "Either it is or it isn't" "How would I tell? Does it have an aluminum intake manifold and Ram Air ducting to the hood?" "I don't know." "But it is a 455?" "No it's a 350." "Then it can't be a W30," "Why not?" "Because the W30 package is only available with a 455." "Maybe it's a W31." "No, because the W31 350 was only available in F85 and Base Cutlass models from 1968-70." "It was never an option on the 442."  "Maybe it's a W32." A W32 is a 455." "Where are you getting these option codes.?" I read about them in a magazine." "And their on the build sheet for your car?"  "No." "Ok, thanks we'll call back."  "Don't wait too long, this car won't last." "Don't think anybody's fighting with machetes for a 442 with a 350." "We'll chance it."  "Your loss."  These people aren't only ignorant, their arrogant and flippant. Like Ron White says-"You can't fix stupid."  Mastermind 

Eleanor's Bitch Sister......

Ford Purists sometimes turn up their noses, but I always liked the 1971-73 Mustangs, mainly because of Action Movies when I was a kid. Sean Connery led the baddies on a great chase through Las Vegas in the Bond flick "Diamonds Are Forever" if a red '71 Mach 1 fastback. Bikini clad Jill St John got my attention too. Then Jan-Micheal Vincent had a red '72 Mach 1 that was blown up in the finale of  the Charles Bronson classic "The Mechanic". And who could forget "Eleanor" the Yellow 1973 Mach 1 that H.B. Halicki piloted through 90 minutes of automotive mayhem in the original "Gone in 60 Seconds?"  I saw one on a Mustang website that-I'd sell my soul for-if I had any left to sell-( the Judge, two Trans-Ams, two Harleys, two Venturas, and the Hurst / Olds took most of it ) Any how this was a '71 Boss 351 with a 4-speed and 3.91 gears. It was red with black stripes and a blacked out hood and black front and rear spoilers. It had 17" American Racing Torq-Thrust mags shod with 275 / 40ZR17 Falken rubber all the around for maximum handling traction, although the seller said he had the original 15" Magnum 500s shod with 235 / 60R15 BFG T/A's for show duty as well. If you don't know-the Boss 351 had 11.3:1 compression, a hot solid-lifter cam, and an aluminum high-rise intake . This bumped output from the standard 351CJ's 285 hp to 330. Right off the showroom floor they'd run 13 second 1/4 miles and except for maybe a Pontiac Trans-Am handled better than anything else on the planet. Until the current Boss 302 debuted in 2011 this was arguably the best balanced Mustang ever. Yes, I know 428CJ Mach 1s are quicker in the 1/4 but their so nose-heavy that they corner like a UPS truck. No, the Boss 351 is like Jule's Wallet from "Pulp Fiction"- it has "Bad Mot$#%cker" written all over it. Or as I would call it-Eleanor's Bitch Sister. I want one. Except their were only 1,806 ever made and they usually sell for $40,000  on up. The guy wanted $58,000 for this one. Bummer. However.....On the same Website I saw a red an black 1972 Mach 1 with the 266 hp 351CJ, a 4-speed and 3.50:1 gears for $12,900!!!  I have a guy that's supposed to buy the H / O. If that happens, I could buy the Mach 1, add some aluminum Edelbrock heads and Performer RPM intake, a hot Crane Cam, some headers, some 16" Center Lines with 245 / 50 ZR16 Comp T/A's.....I think I'll call her "Priscilla".....anyone that cheats on Elvis is a Queen Bitch badder than the Mama in "Aliens".  Much more appropiate than "Eleanor". I might have some soul left to sell after all......Or not. But we all have some unattainable bitch we fantasize about. Mine is 41 years old and weighs 3,400 lbs.....Mastermind

Ghosts of Past postings.......

Funny thing about the internet-like people warn women who post provocative pictures of themselves-once somethings on there, it's on there forever. Got a bunch of spittingly hysterical emails regarding something I posted like two years ago. I was talking about some of the musclecars I had owned and the fun I had with them. Didn't know that stating a fond memory could arouse such anger. I love these people-if something early in a post rubs you the wrong way, stop reading and vent your anger immediately, and be sure to use f-bombs and other profanity so we know your serious. If the writer responds with proof that you are wrong-i.e.-by citing a sentence or paragragh you failed to read or producing a window sticker, build sheet, 1/4 mile timeslip or a factory service manual or magazine road test-you are under no obligation to apologize. You can simply slink away until you want to spew profanity on someone else who says something you don't agree with.  Anyway I think everyone will find these entertaining. Bile spewer # 1's problem was he didn't believe that my GTO Judge could have beaten my buddy's Six-Pack Super Bee in a drag race. He said I lived on "Fantasy Island" because I stated that my GTO-that had a 12:1 compression 400 with ported RAIII heads, a Cam with 337 advertised duration and .550 lift, roller rockers, Hooker headers and an Offy Dual-Quad intake with two 750 AFBs on it backed by a Rock-Crusher 4-speed and a 4.33 geared 12 bolt posi with Lakewood ladder bars and N50-15 Mickey Thompson soft-compund tires ran off and left my pal's bone-stock 440 Six-Pack Super Bee that had a Torqueflite, 3.23:1 gears and GR70-15 Sears radials on it. Yeah, I made that one up!! Because we all know that a Pontiac can't outrun a Mopar under ANY circumstances right?  He also had trouble believing that my brother's GTO that has the Edelbrock Performer RPM package-which Edelbrock claims 422 hp from-and weighs 3,731 lbs-could not possibly have beaten a 5,700 lb SRT-10 Crew-Cab pickup in a drag race.  This clown probably has a Dodge Ram pickup with the rubber testicles hanging off the rear differential and a sticker of Calvin ( From "Calvin and Hobbes" fame ) pissing on a Ford or Chevy logo.  Bile Spewer # 2. was pissed because I said back in the '80's my 403 Olds powered '77 Trans-Am never got beat by a 5.0 Mustang. He said I was dreaming if I thought that a "16 second" "Smog Dog" could beat a mighty 5.0 'Stang. He must have missed the part where I said the T/A had headers and real dual exhausts on it as well as a Holley Street Dominator intake, a custom jetted Carb Shop Quadrajet and a TransGo shift kit in the TH350, which allowed it to run a best of 14.78 and would run 14.9's all day even in 90 degree heat. He also must have missed the part where I cited Road Tests of Mustangs from 1987-93-which everyone agrees are the best preformaing "5.0's"-better than the carburated '82-'86 models. Hot Rod had the fastest one with a 14.72-Road and track had the slowest one with a 15.29.  Doubtless you can do the math and see that my T/A's 1/4 mile time falls right in line with those figures. He also must have missed where I stated that Hot Rod ran the 14.72 by slipping the clutch and walking the Mustang off the line at 1,800 rpm and short shifting at 4,900 rpm to avoid excessive wheelspin and take full advantage of the 302's tractor-like torque curve. I also said Most Mustang drivers I knew popped the clutch at 3 grand, incinerated the tires for 200 feet or more, and powershifted at 5,500 rpm, which while creating a great spectacle of noise and tire smoke, wasn't conducive to good 60- foot or 1/4 mile times, and while my automatic, positraction T/A would spin the tires for maybe 30 feet and once I got a two car length lead, with 100 extra cubes under the hood, they couldn't get it back. But obviously that's a completely impossible scenario right?  Bile Spewer # 3 was pissed off because I said I had fun tormenting little boys in their rice-rockets like Subaru WRX's with my Chevy powered Hurst / Olds. He dropped several f-bombs saying there's no way in hell that could happen. I guess he didn't read the part where I metioned that Hot Rod ran a 12.44 with their ZZ4 powered Chevelle that had 4.30:1 gears. a 3,500 rpm converter and slicks., and that even if my ZZ4-powered Cutlass-which weighs roughly the same as a Chevelle and has 4.10:1 gears, a 2,500 rpm converter and 255/60R15 drag radials on it was a FULL second slower than the Hot Rod test mule it would still be running 13.40's-which is still a FULL second faster ( 10 car lengths ) than the 14.4 that Car and Driver's pre-2008 224 Hp WRX ran and 4 tenths quicker ( 4 car lengths ) than the 13.8 that the 305 hp 2009 STI model ran. This clown offered to run me for pinks with his nitrous-fed 2005 GTO. That's logic-I'l defend the honor of stock Japanese cars with my modified American Musclecar.  This guy is probably the genius that wrote to Playboy and asked why their "Barefoot Beauties " magazine didn't have the girls wearing boots or high heels in any of the pictures. Here's your sign.  Anyway-I thought it was funny that I'm getting hate mail from something I posted 2 years ago. Mastermind    

Some more '60's and '70's cult action flicks with muscle cars....

In "Death Proof"  Kurt Russell tells Rose McGowan that he's sick of CGI-that he longs for the "Vanishing Point" Days-the "Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry days-when you had brave men doing great feats with great cars.  We've talked about movies featuring muscle machines before but there's always a few we overlooked. Here's some I was reminded of recently. # 1. "The Born Losers". Tom Laughlin starred in and directed-( under the pseudonym -"T.C. Frank" ) this little-known, but well done action flick. "Losers" actually introduced the "Billy Jack" character in 1965-six years before he had a surprise hit in 1971. Of the two films-"Born Losers is by far the better work. While "Billy Jack" was full of anti-Vietnam War rhetoric, and Civil-Rights struggles-BJ protects "The Freedom School" from angry rednecks. Even the theme song-"One Tin Soldier" is blatantly anti-war. If you watch it today, it's so dated it's hailarious. However-Born Losers is still easy to watch as a good, badass action flick. Billy Jack is a half-Indian ex-Green Beret Viet Nam vet / Cowboy / Rodeo rider who gets in trouble when he stops a Hell's Angel type biker gang from killing a motorist in the beach resort town he lives near. The biker gang is also selling drugs and raping young girls, and generally terrorizing the town. The small town sheriff's department is helpless to stop them. When they rape Billy Jack's girlfriend and trash his trailer, he takes the law into his own hands. Laughlin was a talented martial-artist; his Hapkido style of Kenpo Karate is fluid and realistic in the fight scenes-he looks much more at ease than Steven Seagal or Jean-Claude Van Damme. You get the feeling that he's been in real fights off the movie set. Him quietly asking the bikers not to mess with him in a gas station is more manacing than Vin Diesel's famous "500 Fights" speech from Knockaround guys. Needless to say he kicks a lot of ass and as he promised earlier-shoots Jeremy Slate-the biker gang leader right between the eyes. Lot's of vintage motorcycles and cars, and girls in bikinis. Even 48 years later, except for the cars and the hairstyles-it's not dated. That makes a good action flick.  # 2. "Gone in 60 Seconds". To quote Tracie Thoms in "Death Proof"-the badass original not that Angelina Jolie Bullshit"  H.B. Halicki wrote, directed and starred in this surprise hit about a car theif-thus the title-your car is "Gone in 60 Seconds". 90 minutes of automotive mayhem starring a yellow 1973 Mustang Mach 1- named "Eleanor". Halicki tried again in 1977 with The Junkman" but that never went anywhere. "Gone in 60 seconds was like "Deep Throat" a low-budget flick that grossed many millions. It's still fun to watch. # 3. "Eat My Dust".  Before he became an Academy Award winning director- Ron Howard was an actor. Trying to shed his Mayberry RFD and Happy Days Goodie-two-shoes image he made two action movies in 1976-one was the John Wayne classic "The Shootist"  The other was this drive-in cult favorite. Howard's character steals a '68 Camaro Race Car and leads the police and the whole town on a series of spectacular chases. Why was it one of Billy Bob's drive-in favorites? "Blew his fuckin" fenders off!!" was the most dialogue delivered by anyone in the film. 12 year old boys then and now love this flick. # 4. Bobbi Joe and The Outlaw."  Evangelist turned-action-star Marjoe Gortner was sexy and menacing as a drifter / Car thief who kills someone in self-defense. A pre-"Wonder Woman"  Lynda Carter gets naked a lot which is a plus. Decent car chase action featuring a Mustang and other musclecars that Gortner steals. Low-brow, but entertaining in a Roger Corman cult classic kind of way. Did I mention Lynda Carter spends a lot of time naked?   # 5. "A Small Town in Texas". Southern-Fried revenge tale that's lean and mean. Quentin Tarantino wishes he could make stuff like this, but he get's bogged down in too much dialogue. A young Timothy Bottoms is a Texas football hero who may or may not have been railroaded to prison on drug charges. by corrupt sheriff Bo Hopkins. He's done his time and just wants to re-unite with his high-school girlfriend and their son that he's never seen. The smokin' hot Susan George- ( "Mandingo", "Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry" ) was at her bleach-blonde, straining halter-top, barefoot southern tramp best. Since Hopkins has been dating her while Bottoms was in jail, and doesn't want to lose the town hottie to her old boyfriend, he tries to set him up on drug charges again. Several great chases one with Bottoms riding a 650 Triumph, another with him driving a 427 powered '65 Chevy Pickup. After Hopkins kills his best friend and trashes their shop and a classic car they were restoring. Bottoms quietly, but menacingly proclaims "I see now, my only option is to kill that man."  "I wish I'd seen it sooner."  And then he leaves to go murder Hopkins and run away to Mexico with Susan.  Totally Badass. I don't know why it wasn't a bigger hit.  # 6. "Mitchell". Bo Svenson got the "Walking Tall" sequel because Joe Don Baker was making this film at the same time.  Baker made the right choice. The Walking Tall sequel was awful-no where near as good as the orignal and it flopped. Mitchell wasn't a huge theatrical hit; but it got good reviews and reigns as a drive-in and cable-tv cult classic. Mitchell is a burned-out detective who thinks rich fat-cat John Saxon murdered a latino burgular in cold-blood. He also thinks Saxon and Martin Balsam are partners in laundering drug money. A couple of good chases featuring a Mustang and some cop cars, and some dune buggies. A pre-"Dynasty" Linda Evans is great as a high-priced hooker that Saxon tries to bribe Mitchell with. Her Ice-Queen image is perfectly portrayed in a great scene. She's lying naked on the bed on her stomach., reading Playboy and giving a running commntary on what she thinks of the Playmates and how she compares to them while Baker is kissing her gorgeous feet, legs and ass. When he stops and gets up to go to the bathroom, she shakes her foot, and then looks over her shoulder, genuinely surprised that he stopped, and continues reading Playboy aloud. I liked the Ice-Queen Hooker way better than the whiny Krystal Carrington she played on Dynasty. Only topped by the scene where he arrests her for drug posession and drags her into the station handcuffed in lingerie and high heels. She asks the booking officer-"Does it matter that he screwed me before he arrested me?". The booking officers says- "You really screwed that?"  "Hell, Mitchell I'm Impressed."  A fight-to-the-finish finale with ex-Rams defensive tackle Merlin Olson is pretty good too. Overall a good, macho action flick.  # 7. "The California KId". This made for TV movie has a lot of star power. Martin Sheen, Vic Morrow and Michelle Phillips star in this revenge tale. It's set in 1958, and Vic Morrow is a corrupt sheriff who gets his jollies by running speeders off the road to their deaths in his Hemi Cop Car. One of the speeders he killed is Sheen's brother. A disgruntled Korean War vet, Sheen swaggers into town in a hopped up, flamed, black '34 Ford Coupe. The car, built by Pete Chapouris, became so Iconic-that you can order a new Harley with a "California Kid" paint job-black with yellow and orange flames. The tension builds until their final showdown on a curvy road. A cult classic.  Mastermind           .        

My Mama told me you better shop around.....

"Pretty Girls come a dime a dozen son, you got to find one that's gonna give you give you good lovin'" "My mama told me, you better shop around."  That was a classic '50's rock song by Smokey Robinson, but it holds true for the musclecar buyer.  For example-I have seen advertised a 400 / automatic '76 Black and Gold SE Trans Am with 60,000 original miles for $26,500.  On the same website I have seen a 400, 4-speed, 10th anniversary model with 66,000 original miles for $14,900. And in the pictures they were in similar condition.  Which is the better deal?  I have seen a 69,000 mile numbers-matching Ram Air IV '69 GTO with 4.33 gears and original paint for sale for $45,000. I have also seen a '69 GTO Judge with a Ram Air III for $59,000. Duh!!! The RAIV for 15 grand less is the better deal!!!  I have seen a nice 351CJ, 4-speed 1971 Mustang Mach 1 for $12,900. On the same website I see a 1973 351CJ / Automatic Mustang Mach 1 for $19,000.  Which is the better deal?  I have seen a numbers-matching 1969 W31, 4-speed, 4.33 geared 1969 Cutlass / F85 for $45,000. On the same website I have seen a numbers-matching 1970 W31, 4-speed, 3.90 geared Cutlass / F85 for $69,000. They were both frame-off restorations, and both pristine. The '69 model had headers on it and drum brakes. The '70 model had stock exhausts and front disc brakes. Which is the better deal? I saw a 1968 426 Hemi / 4-speed Coronet R/T for $109,000. The same Website had a 440,4-speed 1968 GTX in similar condition for $59,000. I don't play in that league, but if you did, is a Hemi worth an extra $50,000?  You decide. I have seen on the same page in Hemmings motor news a 1969 Shelby GT 350 for $58,000. Another one, even the same color, in similar condition, for $44,000.  Follow Smokey's advice- You better shop around. Mastermind            

More on the path of Most Resistance......

Got some more inquiries about what combo to build from several people, and again, they all pooh-poohed what I said. Why ask a professional advice and then go completely against what the guy said?  Here's another couple of examples of this insanity. Not listener # 1 wanted to hot rod his '89 Mustang and get the most "Bang for the Buck".. I suggested that he buy a 345 hp Ford 302 SVT crate motor. It would bolt right in, and with some 3.73 gears and drag radials it should put that light car solidly in the 12s. If he wanted to go faster than that I suggested adding a Ford Racing blower to the crate motor which would bump hp up to 495 and put him solidly in the 11s, while still having decent drivability. He asked about transplanting a 4.6 from a later model. When I said that would be a huge pain in the ass and expensive, and that there was actually more speed equipment for the "5.0" Fox cars than there are for the '96 and later models. When I stated that there are guys running 9s with stock block 302s or 347 strokers, and that a 4.6 wouldn't go any faster at twice the price, he asked if a 460 would be a better idea. When I said that would be even more trouble and expense and wouldn't really go much faster than a pumped up 302, he said I had no imagination. Ok, Imagine all you want, but I know guys that are running 11s with their "5.0's" that don't have 5 grand in the whole car. Transplanting a 4.6 or swapping in a hot 460 would cost way more than that. I though he wanted the most "Bang" for the buck?  Not listener # 2 had a '75 Duster with a 318 that he wanted to go real fast with. I told him to get a 360 Magnum out of a Jeep Cherokee or Dodge Pickup and add a hot roller cam and an Edelbrock Performer RPM intake and get some 4.10 gears. For very little bucks he'd have a blistering fast ride. He asked about swapping in a 440. When I said he'd have to change the crossmember and the transmission as well as buying and building a 440, which would be much more expensive than a used 360, he called me a "Naysayer". Ok. Don't do a cheap, easy, virtually "bolt-in" swap. Attempt one way beyond your ability and pocketbook, and then be disappointed or end up selling the half-finished car for a loss, but whatever you do, don't take a pros advice. Mastermind  

The Path of Most Resistance......

Motivational speakers and Football coaches often talk about "The Path of Least Resistance". In other words, take the easy way instead of the hard way.  Or the other famous adage- K.I.S.S.- "Keep it simple,stupid."  I hate to be such a miserable, cynical bastard all the time, but the public pushes me to it. Gearheads are the worst offenders. Instead of going the easy route to big power and performance, these people decide to take the route that's the hardest and most expensive.  Here's a couple of prime examples. Moron # 1 Had a 1979 Firebird Formula with a 403 Olds engine. He wanted to run low 12s and still keep it drivable.  He asked my advice. I gave him two options. # 1. I said he should look for some '68-72 Olds 350 heads and have them re-done, and use Harland Sharp or Crane or Comp Cams or whatever Roller rockers to make the valvetrain adjustable like a small-block Chevy. I also advised him, to have the bolt holes re-tapped. '75 and later Olds engines use 1/2 inch bolts on the heads and '74 and earlier use 7/16. Anyhow, the older heads-which have 70cc instead of 83cc combustion chambers would instantly bump compression fron 7.9:1 to about 9.2:1. Edelbrock claims 397 hp and 400 lbs ft. of torque with their "Performer RPM" Intake and cam package for a 350 Olds. On a 403, the 53 extra cubes would put you well over 400 hp and 400 lbs of torque. Magazine writers spout numbers flippantly but 400 honest hp will turn any street car into a rocket. With an axle ratio between 3.23 and 3.73, and some 275/60R15 Drag radials mounted on his 8 inch "Snowflake" wheels- He could easily break into the 12s. The second option I gave him was to return it to "Real" Pontiac power. 400 Pontiac blocks are plentiful, and all BOP engines share the same bellhousing bolt-pattern, so he wouldn't have to change the tranny. For $1600 you can buy a stroker kit that includes crank, rod, pistons, custom balancing, and rings and bearings that turns a 400 into a 455. For $1,800 you can buy Edelbrock heads patterned after the famous Ram Air IV factory heads. For less than 5 grand you can build a 455 Pontiac with 473 hp and 529 lbs of tire-boiling torque. Depending on traction, this will put you solidly in the tlw 12s or the high 11s. I mean, honestly-who needs to go faster than that in a street car?  After I offered this advice he asked me if he should put an LS motor or a big block Chevy in it. Like Ron White says- "You can't fix Stupid".  I replied that # 1-using either an LS motor or a Rat-he'd have to buy a new transmission. His perfectly good BOP TH350 would not bolt up to the Chevy engines. So there's an extra $1,000 minimum. If he uses a Chevy bolt-patern TH350. If he wants to get cute and use a 700R4 or 4L80E-now he's changing crossmembers,rear trans mounts, driveshaft yokes, shortening and re-balancing the driveshaft, and adding electric controls which can get up into the 3 or 4 thousand dollar range. People talk shit about Camaros and Firebirds being interchangeable. For suspension parts, and brake rotors yes. But if your swapping a BOP engine for a Chevy-besides the tranny being different, the motor mounts are different, the starter is different, the alternator, water pump, fuel pump, power steering pump, A/C compressor and all the brackets are different. All the tin is different-the valve covers, oil pan, timing cover, etc,. The throttle linkage,the kickdown linkage, the vacuum lines, are all different and that's if your using an "Old-school" carburated small or big-block Chevy. If your swapping in an LS motor-you need to change the gas tank and fuel pump,and wire up all the electronics, which gets even ore expensive and time-consumeing. After I explained all this-he said I was arrogant and "Pissing" on his dream. When I said I had done about 100 engine swaps in my career and that even supposedly simple ones-i.e GM to GM or Ford to Ford-could be a pain in the ass-and cost way more and take more time, money and grief than anticiapated-he called me a "No it-All" with several expletives. Good luck, hot shot, especially since you didn't even know that your "6.6 Litre" engine was an Olds instead of a Pontiac. Moron # 2 had a 1969 Mustang with a 390 that he thought was a dog. It was a coupe and had a two-barrel carb, 2.80:1 gears, and nearly 200,000 miles. I suggested he rebuild his short-block and use the "Performer RPM" package that Edelbrock offers- heads, cam, intake, and carb. Edelbrock claims 417 hp and 434 lbs of torque with this package on a 390. LIke I said- 400 solid hp will make any car a rocket. Low 13s or very high 12 second et's would allow your vintage Mustang to smite new Camaros and Mustangs as well as BMW M3s and Lexus ISF's, while still being mostly original and "Correct". No he wants to put a 460 in it. When I replied that unless he spent 15 grand for a 600 hp 514 SVO stroker-that a 460 wouldn't run any better or as good as the hotted up 390, he accused me of being a "Just as it left the factory" type." With Edelbrock aluminum heads? Huh?  When I said that the "FE" and 385 series were ompletely different-the bellhousing bolt-pattern was different so you'd have to change the tranny-and that none of the tin or brackets would interchange, as well as the p/s pump, the water pump, the fuel pump,the alternator brakcets, the starter, the oil pan, etc, were all different-and that swapping Ford engines and trannys was a lot harder than GM or Mopar swaps because everything was different from model to model-I.E a 460 out of a Thunderbird will have totally different stuff than a 460 out of a Torino or an F250  unlike a Chevy-where you can take a 350 out of a '71 Impala and put it in a '79 Camaro and not even change the belts.  You guys-you know who you are-who have never worked as a professional mechanic- are the worst-we can't tell you anything because you already know everything. Good luck with those engine swaps without talking to someone who's done them. If you have enough money and time you can make anything work, but that doesn't mean it's right. People talk about possibilities-we know manned space flight is possible-but it isn't easy or cost-effective is it?  " Nuff said. Mastermind          

Why people hate car salesmen....

I said a few weeks ago that I was maybe interested in a new Challenger. The shop I work at services Enterprise Rent A Car so I've driven a lot of 6-cylinder Chargers and Chrysler 300s, which are nice. I know the Challenger is the same platform, but I'd never driven one, so I went to my local Dodge dealer to drive one. I test-drove one, and it was nice, and I liked it. The salesman asked if I wanted to crunch numbers. Having sold cars for 7 years in the '80's I knew the game, but I figured what the hell, let's see if I can afford it. Then Playhouse 90 starts. I know I have iffy credit after my divorce and home foreclosure. If you can't finance me, just say so. Tell me I'm a credit criminal to my face and I'll leave. No, they send in the "Closer" who tells me I can't buy the Alpine white 2013 Challenger I test drove, but I can buy a silver 2012 Charger with 30,000 miles on it for $700 a month and 26 percent interest, which means I'd be paying $50,000 for this car that has a wholesale Blue Book of $20,900. When I said thanks, but no thanks, he acted appalled. "I thought you wanted a new car, I thought you wanted to rebuild your credit." "Not by paying 50 grand for a car that's going to be worth ten when it's paid off." I replied. Obviously I walked. Since then the salesman and the sales manager have called me every day for 21 days and left messages on my cell phone. I even talked to the salesman once or twice. He said they could finance me at 15 percent interest and $500 a month for 72 months on the Challenger I liked. When I said I wasn't keen on paying $42,500 for a car that had an MSRP of $22,995, and that I really couldn't afford $500 a month for six years and to stop calling me, that didn't help. I still get called every day, because I test-drove a car 4 weeks ago. If I hit MegaBucks tomorrow I'd go buy an SRT8 Challenger from the Dodge Dealer 20 miles away and then drive it over there and show it to them and tell them I didn't buy from them because they irritated me and stalked me. What part of no do you not understand, the n or the o?  I'm mortally offended and I've had that job, and pressure from sales managers about working customers that walked, but for Christ's sake, give up. Normal people must be out of their mind. I looked at a car and this motherfucker is going to hound me for two months?  If I ever decide to buy a Dodge vehicle, it won't be there, I'll go out of town just for spite. Mastermind.  

"Drive Angry" is great mindless fun....

Saw "Drive Angry" on one of the cable channels the other night. It kind of came and went in theaters, but I'm shocked that it wasn't a huge hit. It had great action, and over-the-top-humor. Nicholas Cage has escaped from hell to save his granddaughter from the Satanic cult that killed his daughter-the child's mother. He has the Devil's Bounty Hunter on his tail trying to bring him back. Lot's of car-chase action featuring musclecars. Early on Cage has a '63 Riviera. Later he commandeers a '69 Charger and it's driver-the smokin' hot Amber Heard. The bad guys can't kill Cage-because he's already dead. There's a hilarious scene where Cage gets in a gunfight with the cultists in a motel, while screwing a hooker. He continues screwing the girl, while shooting multiple bad guys. She has her eyes closed and thinks she's having a great orgasm while the room is exploding around her. After they wreck the Charger, Cage and Amber hook up with his old buddy David Morse who gives him a '72 SS454 Chevelle to go after the bad guys. The Devil's Bounty Hunter agrees to help Cage and Amber kill everyone at the Cult Compound, if Cage will go back to hell willingly after. A Blaze-of-Glory finish that Quentin Tarantino would be proud of follows, and Amber agrees to raise the baby for Cage, and him and the Bounty Hunter go back to hell in a badass '57 Chevy. I thought it was better than the "Grindhouse" movies and the "Machete" movies. Yeah it was mindless, but it was funny and entertaining. What more do you want from an action flick?  Mastermind.

A#@%holes of the Century.........

Hustler magazine used to have a column titled "Asshole of the Month". This title usually went to a celebrity or politician who did something incredibly stupid-Like the Heavy-Metal guitarist who did "RAD" ads-"Rock Against Drugs" for MTV and then got busted for posession of cocaine. Or the woman who founded MADD-Mothers Against Drunk Drivers-taking a six-figure job as an executive for Seagram's, Or the Congressman that railed against Gay marriage and then got caught trying to pick up a guy in an airport men's room.  I've said before that we should have a column like this for Automotive offenders. Here's a few that I saw recently that made me think these people ought to to be dragged out into the street and shot, then drawn and quartered, and their entrails cut out and burned.  I think you'll agree.  Asshole of the Century # 1. This car was featured in a national magazine and got hate mail from everyone-musclecar fans, Import tuners, Concours show enthusiasts-everyone wanted to storm this guy's house with torches. Why? Because he took a pristine 1967 Camaro and put the engine and drivetrain out of a 1990's Toyota Supra in it!!!  Why would you do that?  People bitch when someone puts an LS motor in a classic Chevelle, or a Rat motor into a Firebird, but at least that's GM to GM swapping and understandable, and a lot of people would  still buy a Rat-motored Firebird or LS engined Malibu. But nobody wants a Toyota powered Camaro!!!  The Toyota guys railed about him gutting a Rare Supra, and the Chevy guys wanted to crucify him for screwing up a classic Camaro. I hope he wants to keep it the rest of his life, because he'll never be able to sell it. And the guy was clueless-he couldn't understand why everyone including the magazine that featured it-was calling him an asshole. Like Ron White says-"You can't Fix Stupid".  Asshole of the Century # 2. This guy spent $250,000-that's not a typo-I didn't mean 25K, I meant a quarter of a million dollars-building a 1970 Chevelle with a DuraMax TurboDiesel and Allison Transmission out of a 2011 GMC truck. Again, we ask Why???  For 50K-one-fifth of what he spent-he could have put a 638 hp LS9 and six speed out of a ZR1 'Vette in it and been faster, and cooler and still have 200 grand left to buy a nice house anywhere in the US except maybe New York or California. Or for 30K he could have put the 720 hp ZZ572 Rat motor in it and backed it with a race-prepped TH400 or 4lL80e and proper suspension. And still been cool. Who wants a '70 Chevelle with heart of a Dualie tow rig?   Asshole of the Century # 3. This guy put a 389 Pontiac into a '57 T-Bird!!!  Blasphemy most foul!!!  This one angered GM guys and Ford guys alike. Yeah the old 292 and 312 Y-blocks were slugs. If he wanted more oomph-why didn't he swap in a 351W or even a 390?  This is worse than.....Asshole of the Century # 4. This guy put a Chevy LS motor into a 1990 Mustang GT. How does a brain work that way?  I know guys that are running 10s with 302 and 347 Ford motors, so it's not to go faster. And there's ten times the speed equipment for small-block Fords at half the price of LS stuff, so it's not lower cost. Let's see-"I'll spend twice as much money and three times the grief as it would cost to build a stompin' Ford motor, to put a Chevy into a Mustang and not go any faster than it would have with a Ford V8."  "That's a great idea!!" Again-you own that for life-GM guys and Ford guys alike won't touch it with a ten-foot pole.  Asshole of the Century # 5. This guy built a Cobra replica kit car-....with the Turbocharged 6 cylinder engine and all-wheel drive drive drivetrain out of a Volvo XC90!!!   Like Ditka says on Monday NIght Football-"Come on, Man!!"  I know it's only a kit car. But a Kit Cobra is a replica of an AMERICAN Icon. He could have built it-obviously with any Ford engine, or a small-block Chevy,- I've even seen these built with Chrysler Hemis and no one cares. But a Volvo powered Cobra?  That's sick and wrong in anybody's book.  These examples show that there's a lot of people out there with more money than brains. Mastermind  

Some overlooked base models that might be cool......

Everyone wants a Trans-Am, or a Z/28 or a Mach 1 Mustang, or a Road Runner etc,-and the prices often reflect this. However there are still bargains out there, if you'll consider a base model. Here's the best ones- # 1. 1970-79 Pontiac Firebird / Formula / Eprit.  T/A's of any year command a King's Ransom, as do 455 Formulas, but you can still find a deal on the others. Formula 350 and 400 models are great bargains as they have the guages and suspension of a T/A without the gaudy bodywork. Some people actually like the cleaner, understated styling of the Formula better. Base and Esprit models will have a flat hood instead of the Formula's scooped one, but otherwise their basically the same. Most have 350 cubes under the hood, but a fair number of Esprit models had 400's with a two-barrel carb. There is a ton of speed equipment for Pontiac V8's, and a ton of suspension and brake upgrades out there as well, although the stock system is nothing less than stellar to start with. Some 1977-79 models may have 350 Chevys or 403 Olds engines in them. These are a steal because they are snubbed by hard-core Pontiac collectors who only want a "Real" Pontiac engine. However-there is more speed equipment for a small-block Chevy than anything else on the planet, and anything that fits a 350 Olds will fit a 403. # 2. 1970-79 Chevy Camaro / LT / Berlinetta. Z/28's of any year can be pricey, but there are millions of second-generation base model Camaros out there with 350 cubes under the hood, and you couldn't ask for a better base for a street machine / hot rod. Forget 262, 307 and 305 models. If you can't find a good deal on a 350 Camaro, then you aren't looking past the end of your nose. The 1973-77 "LT" models had upgraded interiors. For some strange reason, in 1978-79 this Luxury package was re-named "Berlinetta". But other than cloth seats and a few minor convenience items-tilt wheel, power windows-maybe-an LT / Berlinetta is no different from a base model.  # 3. 1969-73 Ford Mustang. Mach 1's demand high prices, but there are millions of base and Grande model Mustangs out there, and nearly all of them have either 351W or 351C power. The coupe models will be even cheaper than the fastbacks, and 302 models will be cheaper than the 351 versions. These cars have a ton of potential. There are a million ways to build power into a small-block Ford, or if your mechanically inclined and up for an engine swap, the '71-73 engine bay will accept a 429 / 460, and the 351C shares the same bellhousing bolt-pattern-( You won't have to change trannys ). The same goes for 1969-73 Mercury Cougars.  # 4. 1970-76 Dodge Dart / Plymouth Duster. 340 / 360 versions are overpriced in my opinion, but 318 versions are still the proverbial dime a dozen. With a curb weight of barely 3,000 lbs, a 318 Duster / Dart can be a helluva sleeper-give him a 4bbl carb and intake, a mild cam, and headers and swap those 2.76:1 rear gears for some 3.55:1's and look out. '92 and later "Magnum" heads will bolt up to earlier blocks, and they breathe better than many aftermarket heads. Edelbrock makes 4 bbl intakes that fit "Magnum" engines. If your 318 was tired, you could swap in a "Magnum" 360 out of a '92 and later model Dodge Truck or Jeep Cherokee. There are millions of them in Junkyards. From a "Bang for the Buck" standpoint, these cars are hard to beat. # 5. 1968-74 Plymouth Satellite. People fight with machetes for Road Runners of this vintage, but except for minor differences in trim, a 2 dr Satellite is the same car. A lot will have 318 motivation, which certainly isn't a bad thing-see the tips in the Duster / Dart section. And there are a fair number out there with 383 / 400's under the hood. There is so much aftermarket support for Mopar B-bodies that your really only limited by your wallet and imagination. # 6. 1968-74 AMC Javelin. Rambler-philes will give blood and a first-born child for an AMX, but you can still find deals on base-model Javelins. The ones to look for are the 343 and 360 models. The 290 / 304 V8's are just too small for serious performance work. On the upside-AMC V8's are like Pontiacs-they are all externally identical so swapping them is cake, and the 360 was used in Jeep Grand Wagonneers unitl 1992, so there's plenty of them in Junkyards. Edelbrock even offers aluminum heads for AMC engines. I think a Javelin with Mini-Lite wheels, red,whit and blue paint, side-exit exhaust and a snarling 360 under the hood would be way cool-a tribute to Mark Donohue's Trans-Am champion. Something to think about if you want something unique and don't have the green for a Judge, SS396, Charger R/T etc. Mastermind    

Playing with junk.....And making something cool.....

There's a lot of cool stuff that can built with junkyard stuff. Here's a few that could be built dirt-cheap, and would be unique and cool. # 1. GTO / 442 / GSX wagons. You can buy LeMans, Cutlass and Skylark wagons relatively cheap. Year One, NPD, and other companies sell fenders, hoods, grilles etc. The Buick, Olds and Pontiacs are the easiest because most of them will have 400 or 455 cubes under the hood backed by a TH400. You could build an SS396 or SS454 wagon out of a Malibu wagon, but it would cost way more and be more hassle. The reason is 95% of Chevelle wagons will be small-block powered, and you'd have to swap in a Rat, while like I already stated, 90% of the BOP wagons have the big-blocks standard. You could even put bucket seats and a console up front, or swap in a 4-speed. How about a Tri-Power, 4-speed '66 "GTO" wagon? Or a "Hurst / Olds" Vista Cruiser with a 455 and a Dual / Gate shifter? Because of their excellent weight distribution, a wagon actually makes a good drag racer.  # 2. BOP "El Caminos". Buy a beater El Camino and put a Pontiac, Buick or Olds front clip on it. Since GM stuff is so easy to swap around, you could even do the drivetrain-i.e.-put a 400 Pontiac or 455 Buick in it along with your GTO or GSX  front end. Or you could keep it Chevy and put a Monte Carlo nose it. ( People do that all the time with "SS" Aero nose on '78-87 "G" body models, I'm talking about the '68-77 "A" body ones )  # 3. '77-79 Ford "Thunderbird" or "Lincoln MK V" Ranchero. These last Rancheros were based on the LTD II platform, which is also what the Thunderbird, Mercury Cougar, and Lincoln MK V were based on. The hidden headlight front clip from a T-Bird or MK V would look cool on a Ranchero body. The 351 / 400M has good aftermarket support and if your really lucky you might find a 460 version. Or swap it out of the T-Bird / Lincoln donor car. Any of these would be way cool. Mastermind

If you want a F*&^%ing new car... then buy a F*&^%$ing new car!!!

I'm appalled at this month's "Popular Hot Rodding". They rank their top 20 reader's musclecars. 18 of them are Vintage Camaros, Firebirds, Mustangs, and Mopars with Chevy LS motors, 4.6 and 5.4 Ford Mod motors and 5.7, 6.1, or 6.4 Hemis. Only two were "Correct" a 1977 Trans-Am with a 455 Pontiac and a '70 Road Runner with a stroked 440. I've said it until I'm blue in the face. If you were a gun collector would you buy a WWII vintage Colt .45 and put laser sights on it?  If you were a guitar player would you buy a 1965 Fender Stratocaster and change the pickups on it and add a whammy bar? If you were a motorcycle enthusiast would you buy a 1947 Harley-Davidson Knucklehead and put a fuel-injected Twin-Cam and six-speed tranny out of a 2010 Softail in it?  Probably not. Then why do so many assholes do it to musclecars? And, like I've said before, I don't give a shit if somebody stuffs an LS motor into a '72 LeMans or a '69 Nova, or a 5.7 Hemi into a '73 318 Barracuda. But it's always a numbers-matching, 4-speed SS396 Chevelle, or a 455HO Trans-Am, or 440 GTX. Leave the pristine, vintage iron for people who appreciate it. And, Don't get me wrong, I think the new cars are great. I've been negotiating with my local Dodge Dealer on a 2013 Challenger. At $22,900 it's a deal. Yes, it's white-gotta honor "Vanishing Point"-but it's going to be a driver if I buy it-and yes, it's a six-cylinder automatic. Scoff if you want, but Car and Driver tested one and it ran 0-60 in 6.7 seconds and the 1/4 in 15 flat. That's fast enough for a daily driver, especially one that gets 25 mpg. Chrysler claims 31, but C/ D got 25. Any way- the point I'm making- if I wanted a 5.7 Hemi and a 5-speed automatic or six-speed stick I'd step up and spend another 8 grand to get it. If i wanted a 1970 model I would want a 383 or a 440 and a 4-speed. I damn sure wouldn't pay the price of a new one for a 43 year old one, and then spend another 10K transplanting a modern powertrain and electronics into it!!!  I don't get transplanting the engine, tranny and suspension out of a 2005 Mustang into a 1965 model. You want a late-model Mustang, go buy one!!! You want a '60's model-then take it with crappy suspension and and engine- either a 289 or 390 / 428 that leaks oil!!.  We like "Old Stuff" because it's different from "New Stuff".  Anyhow, I've said it before, PHR should just change their title to "Modern Fuelie Swap Monthly". Because that's all they ever feature.  Just had to vent that. Mastermind    

More "Lead Sleds" That might be cool....

In the last post we talked about "Lead Sleds"-i.e.- overlooked "Big" cars that may make cool drivers or low-budget hot rods. Here's a few more. #1. 1971-76 Pontiac Grand Ville, Catalina, or Bonneville. The steal of the century. Impalas of this vintage have a "Cult" following among the low-rider crowd. There's even a magazine devoted to them called "Donk". Except 99% of Impalas of this vintage have 350 small-block power. Which makes these 4.500+lb cars a dog. However, the Pontiacs have 400 cubes standard all years, and a fair number have 455s. And most have power windows, seats, cruise, etc. These can be great drivers, as they were the top of the line when new. #2. 1977-79 BOP Full-size. The GM full-size cars were all down-sized for 1977 and they weighed 600-800 lbs less than their 1976 and earlier brothers. The Chevys were limited to 305 and 350 small-blocks, but the Buick, Olds, Pontiac versions-Bonnevilles, Catalinas, 88s and 98s, and Rivieras and Park Avenues, got either the mighty 400 Pontiac or the under-rated 403 Olds in the musical engine game GM played in the late '70's. The 2 dr versions are actually good looking. # 3. 1977-79 Lincoln MK V. Same as GM-the downsized versions are about 600 lbs lighter than the 1976 and earlier versions. However-the styling is still cool, and you could still get a 460 under the hood. 400 versions will be cheaper. Ford Thunderbirds of the same vintage share the same platform. So do Mercury Cougars-but the only advantage of that was getting to see a 27 year old Farrah Fawcett-Majors barefoot in a white bikini in the TV ad, before she was on "Charlie's Angels". Sorry to let my adolescence intrude. Trivia for you pervs my age-Farrah was the "Hand Model" that stroked Joe Namath's face in the shaving cream ad he did in 1972. We all agree- Lee Majors and Ryan O' Neal both need their ass kicked. RIP Farrah. Ok. Back to cars. Sorry to digress, but we we were talking about the '70's...  # 4. 1970-77 Chrysler Full-size. This includes Chrysler Newports, Imperials, Plymouth Furys and Dodge Monacos. Most have 440 cubes under the hood. "Nuff said.  What's the old saying?.... Go big or go home.... Mastermind        

Some way cool "Lead Sleds" you might like......

Hard-core hot-rodders used to call big cars "Lead Sleds"-because even though they had big engines-yes your 350 Nova or 289 Mustang is quicker in a drag race than a 460 Lincoln. However some of these "Land Yahcts" make cool drivers and can be a low-budget alternative to a "Traditional" musclecar-i.e.-Chevelle, GTO, Road Runner etc. Here's some of my personal favorites in no particular order. # 1. 1966-69 Buick Riviera. These cars have the swoopy fastback, hidden headlight style of the revolutionary Olds Toronado-but are still rear-wheel drive. I personally think the Riv's body is cleaner,leaner, and meaner looking than the Olds. And with 430 cubes under that long hood, they move pretty good too.  # 2. 1966-70 Olds Toronado. Serial Killer George Stark drove one of these in the book and movie versions of Stephen King's classic novel "The Dark Half." With 425 or 455 cubes under the hood these front-drive "Luxury Liners" really rock. Car Life's 1969 test car-even weighing 4,700 lbs-blasted through the 1/4 in 15 seconds flat. # 3. 1965-68 Pontiac Catalina / Bonneville / Gran Prix. '65-66 models have the classic "Coke Bottle" styling that resembles a 68-70 Charger from the side; '67-68 models are a fastback design. TH400 trannys standard and 389, 400, 421, or 428 cubes for motivation. Any aftermarket suspension or brake upgrades that fit an Impala will fit these cars. # 4. 1967-71 Ford Thunderbird. '67-69 models have the classic hidden headlight body; 4-door models have the "Suicide" doors. '70-71 models have the Nascar-inspired fastback styling. 390, 428 or 429 cubes provide the "Thunder'. # 5. 1971-73 Buick Riviera. The classic "Boat-tail" design. 455 cubes standard all years. 'Nuff said.  # 6. 1969-76 Pontiac Gran Prix. These are technically an "A" body-and a mid-size, but they were the top of the Pontiac line. 400 cubes standard all years with 455 optional. GTO like performance with Cadillac-like luxury. Any suspension upgrades that fit a Chevelle fit these cars. # 7. 1972-76 Lincoln MKIV. These are still good-looking cars today. The hidden headlights and opera windows don't look dated at all. Their heavy-but you have 460 cubes under that long hood. Some '74-76 models have 4-wheel disc brakes. I see one pearl white with huge wheels and an SVO 514 under the hood. Wouldn't that be badass?  Any of these cars would be a unique, fun ride. Mastermind

If you don't have the time or money.....Sell it to someone who does, don't let it rot!!!

I have a friend who buys and sells old cars all the time. He's the guy who finds the stuff in barns that you read about. He also sees some horrible abuses, by stubborn broke people. Went on a run with him recently. We found a 1967 GTX that was rotting in some guys backyard. When my pal offered to buy it-the guy didn't even ask for how much, or give us a price. "It's not for sale, because I'm gonna restore it someday."  Except "Someday" never comes, and the car rots to nothing before it's finally junked by these people's kids, or grand-kids or wives. We saw a '78 "Macho T/A" under a tarp in a guys driveway. Same thing, "He's going to restore it "Someday." Ditto for the rusty '72 Mustang Mach 1 and the badly oxidized '71 Javelin AMX we saw in people's driveways. Out doors. In the elements. My pal told me he asked about a '68 Charger every time he went through this town. For 8 years he got the same answer-"Not for Sale, "I'm going to restore it." The guy died of a heart attack, and then his wife was going to have it restored to fulfill her dead hubby's dream. Finally- after like 15 years-when she lost her house in the big crash of 2007, The Charger was hauled away by the bankruptcy trustee who sold it to a junkyard for like $500. You can't buy the grille for $500!!!  And Ironically-the guy and his wife had turned down cash offers of $5,000 or more several times because they were going to restore it "Someday."  If the car has sat for five years, and you haven't done anything with it, and you don't have the time or money to do it, then sell it to someone who does have the resources to do it rather then let it rot to nothing. I cringe every time I see a '57 Chevy or a '68 Mustang or Camaro that hasn't moved in years and the owners refuse to sell it, yet don't do anything with it. I don't understand this syndrome, but it's rampant. It's also sick and wrong. Mastermind    

More "Junkyard Jewels"......For you engine swappers.....

After the "Studilac" post I get some inquirys about other engines that might be great for the low-budget engine-swapper. Everyone fights with machetes for 454 Chevys, 440 Mopars, 460 Fords, 455 Buick, Olds and Pontiac engines, and the prices are high. Some times junkyards want $1,500 for something that's locked up and may need a ton of work. That's because people are stuck on the "Bigger is better" thing. Yes, more cubes is the easiest way to more power, but there's a lot of viable powerplants out there that can be bought dirt-cheap, and still really rock with the right equipment. Here's some to think about. # 1. 390 Ford. These were used in just about every Ford car and truck built from 1961-76, so their not hard to find. There is good aftermarket support-Edelbrock even offers High-Performance Aluminum heads. Edelbrock claims 417 hp and 434 lbs of torque from their "Performer RPM" package. Magazine writers spout numbers flippantly, but rest assured 400 honest hp will turn any street car into a rocket. # 2. 383 / 400 Chrysler. The 383 was used from 1963-71, and the 400 ( a bored-out 383 ) was used from 1972-78 in millions of Chrysler, Plymouth, and Dodge cars trucks and vans. There is a ton of aftermarket support and believe me- a properly built 383 / 400 can make just as much power as a 440-just at higher rpm. # 3. 400C / M Ford. These were used from 1971-82 in various Ford cars and trucks. 8:1 compression, two-barrel carburation, single exhaust and salt-flats gearing gave them a rep as a "Dog". However-every year in the Jegs' Engine Masters dyno challenge there's at least two or three of these making 500-600+ hp. We all know the "Cleveland" style heads breathe well-( Edelbrock and Trick Flow offer aluminum heads as well ) give him some compression, a cam and decent intake and exhaust and this "Smog Dog" will surprise the crap out of a lot of people with bigger engines. # 4. 400 / 430 Buick V8. If you can't find a 455-this is the way to go. Their plentiful in "Big" cars in boneyards, and anything that fits a 455-including Edelbrock heads and intakes, cams etc-will these engines. A great swap for 340 / 350 Skylark / Century / Regal owners.  Anything with 400 or 430 cubes is going to have some serious low-end torque even in stock trim. # 5. 403 Olds V8. Although they were only produced from 1977-79, they were used in millions of  BOP cars, so there's a lot of them out there. Anything that fits a 350 Olds fits these-so there's plenty of speed parts available. Edelbrock claims 397 hp and 400 lbs of torque from their "Performer RPM" Cam / Intake / Carb package-and that's on a 350. 53 more cubes will put you well over the 400 hp mark, and smooth out the idle. A bolt-in power infusion for 330 / 350 Cutlass owners. Or if you have a Disco-Era Firebird Formula or Trans-Am-400+ hp would make those smug "Real" 400 Pontiac T/A owners eat some crow. # 6. 360 AMC V8. AMC enthusiasts search the galaxy and spend way more money than they should chasing 390s and 401s. The 360 was used in Jeep Grand Waggoneers until 1992 so there's millions of them around. Edelbrock offers performance aluminum heads, and I've seen these in the Jeg' engine masters challenge putting out 500 hp. So don't sell your soul for a 390 or 401. One of these will move your Javelin / AMX with more than enough alarcity. Or for the low-budget crowd- How much of a rocket would a hotted-up 360 powered Gremlin or Hornet be?  Mastermind    

Modern day "Studilacs?" Yeah baby!

Back in the '50's a popular hot rod swap was to drop the big powerful Cadillac V8 into the lightweight, aerodynamic Studebaker Starliner coupe. These "Studilacs" had great success in drag racing and on the Bonneville Salt Flats. If you want a low-budget but fast hot rod, you could do something similar today. The body is the 1978-88 GM "G" body-especially the BOP versions. This give you a choice of Pontiac Gran Prix's, Olds Cutlasses and Buick Regals. The engines-the 472 / 500 cube Cadillac V8 that was used from 1968-76 is still plentiful in junkyards. They'll bolt up to the BOP bolt-pattern trannys-be it a TH350 or 200R4 or 700R4. I left the Malibus and Monte Carlos off the list becuae most of them have 305 Chevys in them and it's easier to swap in a 350 than to do the Cad swap on them. I know a guy that put a 472 into an '81 Regal. He didn't have 2 grand in the whole project and the car ran mid-13s at his local strip. How cool is that? Mastermind

Some "Sleepers" you may not have thought of.....

Everyone loves a sleeper. For those of you that live in a cave-a "Sleeper" is a car that looks like your grandmother drives it, or looks like a beater, yet is unbelievably fast-enough to smoke musclecars and sports cars in a drag race. Sleepers typically have quiet exhaust and stock wheels and look completely unassuming, while being lethally quick. A couple examples- a buddy of mine in high school had a '72 AMC Gremlin. It was a drab brown color, with dog-dish hubcaps. Him and his dad swapped the 304 V8 for a 401 out of a wrecked Matador Police car. He blew the doors off many a supposedly "Bad' Camaro, Mustang, Road Runner, etc.  In my early 20's I had a Black '77 "Smokey and the Bandit" Trans-Am. After I wrecked it, my cousin who owned a used car lot and a junkyard gave me an engineless '71 Pontiac Ventura. ( Pontiac's version of the Nova ) It was a strippy with no power steering, no power brakes, nothing. Being a '71 model, it had the small, light bumpers-not the heavy 5-mph anchors used on 1973 and later models. It weighed about 3,000 lbs-800 lbs lighter than the T/A. We took the 400 V8 and TH350 out of the T/A and swapped it into the Ventura. What a rocket-when it got traction. This car would literally smoke the tires as long as you wanted to stay on the throttle. It looked like grandma's Nova-until you hit the loud pedal.  Anyhow here's a list of cars that make great sleepers for low bucks. # 1. 1975-79 Ford Granada / Mercury Monarch. 302 V8 versions are plentiful, but the real diamonds have 351Ws. Some of these will have 9 inch rear ends with rear disc brakes. In stock trim they have 2bbl carburatin and salt-flats gearing, but with very little investment they can really run. # 2. 1983-88 Ford Thunderbird / Mercury Cougar. Forget the V6 versions, theirs enough 302 versions out there to go around. This is a Fox chassis-so just about anything that fits a '79-93 Mustang will fit these cars. # 3. 1970-83 Datsun 240 / 260 / 280Z / ZX. I know it's an import-but Z motorsports sells the kit- and me and my dad built one-a small-block Chevy turns these cars into an absolute rocket. A 350 Chevy only weighs about 80 lbs more than the Nissan Six, so handling isn't adversely affected, and the independent rear suspension hooks surprisingly well. Dynamite. # 4. 1979-85 Mazda RX-7. These were cool sports cars when they came out. There's a company on the internet selling kits to put a Small-block Ford V8 into these cars. I saw a feature in a magazine the guy had transplanted the engine and T5 tranny out of a wrecked '88 "5.0" Mustang. Since the RX only weighed about 2,600 lbs-about 5-600 lbs less than the Mustang-it was brutally fast. # 5. 1978-81 Pontiac Gran Prix / LeMans / Grand Am. Most of these downsized "G" bodies had the anemic 301 V8 that wheezed out maybe 150 hp. The upside is a 400 or 455 is a bolt-in swap. If your lucky enough to get one with a TH350, you won't need to change trannys. If the car has a TH200 / 250, they won't hold up behind a big-block's torque. Luckily- a TH350 is the same size, and uses the same rear trans mount and driveshaft yoke. Since these cars are 700 lbs lighter than the '77 and earlier models they replaced, even a mild 400 or 455 would make one of these cars really rock. # 6. 1984-88 Pontiac Fiero. Saw one of these in High-Performance Pontiac Magazine. The guy took the Supercharged 250 hp 3.8 V6 and transaxle out his wife's wrecked Bonneville SSEI and put it in the rear of a Fiero. It smoked his buddy's Porsche 911 in a drag race.  The hot 200 hp 3.4 out of later Olds Alero and Pontiac Grand Ams will bolt in place of the 2.8 in the Fiero as well. These cars may not be common, but they can be brutally quick for low bucks. Mastermind    

Is everyone crazy?

As you all know, I've had my Hurst / Olds advertised for sale. I can't believe some of the inquiries I've had.  No, I don't want to trade for your motorcycle, boat or pair of Jet-Skis!!!  No I don't want your Jeep Cherokee or Honda Accord. No, I don't want your 1968 383, automatic, bench seat, drum-braked Road Runner. Yeah, that's a good move-Let me trade my one of 1,097 ever made GM Musclecar that I can't sell for a one of 45,000 Chrysler Musclecars that I can't sell. I need money-not another car. The other ones I love-are "Why are you selling it?"  Who gives a shit WHY I'm selling it-do you want it or not?  Or my personal favorite-"It needs a paint job and a vynil top." Duh!!! If it was a pristine show car I'd be asking $20,000 instead of $8,500!!!  When people are asking $25,000 for 403 Olds powered Disco era T/A's, if I can't get 8 grand for a numbers-matching Hurst / Olds that's been featured in Popular Hot Rodding, and has the numbers-matching 455, a rust-free body, and the original owner's manual and spare, and a ZZ4 Chevy crate motor, then I'll set it on fire. But like they say- I guess you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet the prince. I've been through this before selling beaters. A $500 '80's Monte Carlo. You get the call- "What kind of shape is it in?" "It's a piece of shit that starts and runs." "What do you think it is for $500?" You can't buy a good 1/4 panel for $500!!  Ugh. Just had to vent that.  Mastermind        

A Diamond in the rough?....

Stopped by a used car lot the other day and looked at a 1992 Lincoln LSC MKVII. That's the car Car and Driver called "A 5.0 Mustang in a Tuxedo." It was black with black interior. The Recaro seats were flawless, it had new 16" Michelin radials on it, and it ran like a champ. I know, because I test-drove it. The A/C blew cold, the moonroof worked, and it laid 8-10 feet of rubber when it shifted to second under full-throttle acceleration. It was exceptionally well-maintained. And the asking price was only $2995!! I may try to steal it-I'll see if they'll take 2 grand cash., or maybe even $2,500. I'm not even a Ford guy, and this car is so nice that I may buy it for a driver. ( My Buick is on it's last legs ). The point I'm making is- every once in a while, you run across a screaming bargain. And if your smart, you'll grab it. Or it'll fall under those could've, would've, should've stories. I'll let you know if I get it or not. But I wanted to let everyone know that there's stuff like that out there, you just have to find it. Like My Hurst / Olds that's one of 1,097 ever made that's never been wrecked or painted, that has the numbers-matching 455 on a stand and a $5,000 400 hp Chevy crate engine in it, that I can't sell for $7,500. Contact me thru this site if you want the H / O. Mastermind  

Some full-size "Rat Rods" that could be low-budget fun......

With even disco-era T/A's and Camaros commanding a King's ransom these days finding a cheap hot rod project isn't easy. But there are bargains out there if you think outside the box. Here's some cars that have great potential, but are overlooked by the hot rod crowd. # 1. 1967-69 Olds Delta 88 coupe. These had a sexy, fastback body, and either 425 or 455 cubes under the hood. Any suspension or brake upgrades that fit an Impala fit these cars. When I was a kid my mom had a '67 88 convertible with Torq-thrust mags on it that my whole neighborhood thought was totally badass. With my gearhead dad tweaking the 425-it was. Mom quickly forgave me for setting the convertible top on fire with an ill-aimed bottle rocket one 4th of July, but dad holds this grudge to this day 40 some years later. We all three regret selling that to my uncle who traded it in on a Mustang. That grudge-he didn't offer to sell it back to us-Mom carries to this day. # 2. 1970-78 Plymouth Sport Fury / Dodge Monaco. Remember the Blues Brothers? "It's got a cop motor, 440 cubic inches, it's got cop tires. cop brakes, cop shocks....."  You don't have to get a cop car to have fun with one of these. The 2 door models are actually good looking. Pass on 318 or 360 models, their underpowered in a heavy car. Besides most of them will have 383, 400 or 440s under the hood anyway. I'd paint it black and white and put a push-bar on the front end just to be an asshole and intimidate other motorists into getting out of your way. # 3. 1973-77 Pontiac LeMans. Not quite a full-size, but they are a big car. People fight with machetes for '68-72 models to turn into GTO clones, but no one cars about the '73-77 "Colonnade" models. Which makes them great deals for bargain hunters. The reason they are such a screaming deal is 90% of the Chevelles, Cutlasses and Buick Regals of this vintage had 350 small-blocks under their long hoods. By contrast, 95% of the Pontiacs will have 400 cubes standard, and a few will have 455s. They had "Radial Tuned Suspension"-( wrist-thick front and rear sway bars ) and front disc brakes standard, and any aftermarket suspension or brake upgrades that fit a Chevelle fit these cars. These make dynamite sleepers.   # 4. 1977-79 Ford Thunderbird / Lincoln MK V . These are about 600 lbs lighter than the '72-76 style they replaced. The hidden headlight, sleek styling still looks good today. The 460 models are the ones to have as they offer the most bang for the buck. 400 versions will be even cheaper, and their is plenty of aftermarket speed equipment for these engines too. Some of these have 4-wheel disc brakes from the factory. Mercury Cougars of this vintage share the same platform, but their styling isn't as racy as the T-Bird / Mk V. # 5. 1977-79 GM full-size 2 dr. Die-hard Chevy fans like this vintage of Impala / Caprice-because they are 700 lbs lighter than the '71-76 models they replaced, yet you could still get a 350 4bbl V8 in them. ( 1980 and later versions were limited to a 305 ). However-the real bargains are the Buick, Olds, and Pontiac versions-i.e. Bonneville / Catalina, Electra / Riviera, and Olds 88 / 98. The reason is-while the Chevys were limited to a 350, these models usually had either the mighty 400 Pontiac or 403 Olds under the hood, which obviously-either stock or modified means much more power and torque. Any of these cars can be bought dirt-cheap, and have tons of potential. Mastermind.          

Manual transmissioned "Personal Luxury" hot rods.....

Had someone ask why certain popular '70's cars weren't available with manual transmissions. The fact is, a lot of them were, but the option wasn't popular and dealers didn't stock many of them. # 1. 1969-74 Pontiac Gran Prix, 1973-75 Grand Am. You could get a 4-speed in a GP until 1981. However the '78-81 models were downsized "G" bodies and had the anemic 301 V8 that wheezed out 150 hp. But there are a few "real"-i.e the 1969-74 models out there with factory 4-speeds and a big-block. In 1969 you could get a Hurst-shifted Muncie 4-speed behind either a 400 or a 428!! A friend had a 428 / 4-speed GP, and it felt like a GTO. From 1970 on, the 4-speed was only available with the 400; 455 models all had the TH400 standard. Same thing for the Grand Am-you could get a 4-speed or an automatic with the 400, but only an automatic with the 455s. The reason there weren't a lot of them made was the GP was considered a luxury car. Most people who wanted a Pontiac stick-shift car with a big V8 would buy a GTO , Firebird, or LeMans. There weren't a lot of sales demand. For example I think only 112 of the 100,000+ 1969 models had this option. If your really want one, and can't find one for sale or don't want to pay the inevitably high asking price, you could build one pretty easy by converting a much-lower priced automatic model. Year one and other restoration companies sell GM "A" body clutch linkages and pedal setups, and Summitt racing stocks brand-new BW T10 4-speeds, Lakewood bellhousings and Hurst shifters. Or you could probably find a used Muncie M20 or M21 on the internet. # 2. 1970-74 Chevy Monte Carlo. Believe it or not, the standard powertrain in the Monte Carlo was actually a 250 inch straight six, and a three-speed stick!! The majority of them sold had 350 V8 / TH350 motivation, but you could get a 4-speed with any V8 including the 454. A guy I worked with several years ago had a 350 / 4-speed Monte, and it was a cool ride. For some reason, unlike Pontiac-who offered a Hurst shifter as standard equipment-Chevrolet used the awful Muncie shifters ( Unlike the Hurst linkage which was transmission-mounted, these were body-mounted. If you had your foot in it, they were almost impossible to shift above about half-throttle, because engine torque would twist the rods out of alignment ). My co-worker did what most people with Chevy stick-shift cars did-he put in a Hurst Competition Plus shifter shortly after buying the car. 4-speed Montes are rare for the same reason as the G/P's. The Monte Carlo was considered a luxury car, and most musclecar buyers who would want a 4-speed bought Chevelles, or Camaros. The option was dropped after '74. Again-if you want one-I'd just get an automatic model and buy a Chevelle clutch linkage, and a used Muncie, or T10 ( or a new one from Summitt ). and the bellhousing and Hurst shifter. That would be way cheaper than what someone would want for an original 4-speed model. # 3. 1967-73 Mercury Cougar. Same deal-a 4-speed was available in the Cougar behind the 289 / 302, 351W / 351C, 390, 428 and 429 engines. Their just weren't a lot of them sold. Just like the GM offerings, the Cougar was considered a luxury / sports car. Ford musclecar buyers bought Mustangs, Torinos and Fairlanes. Thus 99% of  Cougars you see are automatics. However- again, if you want a 4-speed cat-simply buy Mustang clutch linkage, the proper bellhousing for your engine, a used Top-Loader or a new or used T10, a Hurst shifter, and your in business. I say this because 4-speed Cougars are very rare, and are usually waaayyy overpriced. I mean guys are asking the same price for a 289 / 4-speed Cougar as people ask for a 428 Mach 1 Mustang!! It's just easier and a lot cheaper to convert an automatic version. And unless it's a 428 Eliminator, who cares if it's not original? 351 models are the proverbial dime a dozen. # 4. 1969-78 Plymouth Sport Fury. As far as I know, the Big Fury had the Torqueflite as standard equipment with any V8 larger than 318 inches. However if you want one, simply buy Chrysler "B" body ( Charger / Coronet / Road Runner / Satellite ) clutch linkage and pedals from Mancini racing or other Mopar resto companies, and Summit sells repro Hurst "Pistol Grip" shifters. How cool would a 440 / 4-speed, "Six-Pack" ( Edelbrock still sells the manifold and Summitt sells the Holley carbs and throttle linkage ) Fury be??  Totally badass in my mind. # 5. 1968-74 Olds Cutlass. A lot of people don't know it, but you didn't have to buy a 442 to get a 4-speed in a Cutlass. You could get a 350 or a 455 with a 4-speed in a Cutlass S as well. Again-Olds performance buyers went for the 442. The Cutlass Supreme-the best-selling car in America for a few years in the '70's-was considered a luxury car like the Gran Prix or Monte Carlo. However- again-if you want one simply buy "A" body ( Chevelle / GTO etc ) clutch linkage and convert an auto. In my lifetime I have only seen two-non 442, non W31 Cutlasses with a 4-speed. One was a 1970 350 Rallye Cutlass, and the other was a 1973 Supreme with a 455. Don't even try to find one, you'll have to build it.  Anyhow, any of these cars could be a unique, fun ride. Mastermind    

More Nascar themed full-sizes.....

I listed early to mid-60's full-size cars in the last post because that's what was really run in Nascar in the '60's. However-in the late '60's-just as the manufacturers shifted to intermediates for their muscle machines-so did racers. Mopar guys started using Road Runners and Chargers, GM guys started using Chevelles ( and Monte Carlos after 1970 ) and Ford guys started using Torinos and Mercury Cyclones and Montegos. ( I loved the red and white Wood Brothers Mercurys piloted by Cale Yarborough and David Pearson ). Anyhow- Just because Nascar racers switched to the intermediates in 1966 or '67 ( Remember Smokey Yunick's "cheater" '66 Chevelle? ) doesn't mean your  limited to pre 1967 cars if you want to build a Nascar themed full-size. In fact some of the later models may be better choices because they'll have better suspensions, standard front disc brakes, and more powerful engines. Here's a few great examples. # 1. 1969-72 Plymouth Sport Fury. Peter Graves drove one on "Mission Impossible". Most will have 383 cubes under the hood and some will have 440s. The semi-fastback, slab-sided body will look badass with radiused fenderwells, monster tires and Nascar-style graphics. #2 1968-72 Ford Galaxie / LTD. A lot of these will have 390 cubes under the hood, and some '71-72 models will have 400C or 429 V8s, which is, if anything, a plus factor. # 3. 1967-69 Pontiac Catalina. 400 cubes standard, and a fair number will have 428s. # 4. 1967-70 Chevy Impala. The Chevys again rank last for the same reason. All the others have big-blocks as standard equipment, while the Impalas mostly have small-block motivation. Even the desirable "SS" models are this way. Of the 75,000 Impala SS models sold in 1967-only 2,128 were 427s. However-there is more speed equipment for a small-block Chevy than anything else on the planet, and a big-block is an easy swap if you want one. Since these full-sizes were generally the top of the line, they usually have luxurious interiors, and cool options like disc brakes and factory air that make them nice to drive. Mastermind

How about NASCAR themed full-sizes?

Popular Hot Rodding's "Project Talledega"- a 1975 Chevelle Laguna done up like Neil Bonnetts mid-70's racer is immensely popular with readers. Many other magazine's have featured Chargers done like Richard Petty's most famous racer and others have featured Camaros, Firebirds, Mustangs, and even Novas done in Trans-Am style. However-I think a unique ride would be early to mid-60s's full-size cars done in NASCAR style. After all, until the GTO took the world by storm in 1964-NASCAR racers and street performance cars were all full-size. Here's the best candidates in my mind. # 1. 1960-66 Pontiac. Whether it's a Catalina, Bonneville, or Gran Prix-these cars all have slick bodies and 389 cubes as standard equipment. There is a ton of aftermarket speed equipment for Pontiac V8s, and any aftermarket suspension or brake upgrades that fit an Impala will fit these cars. High Performance Pontiac featured a 1962 Catalina that was done as a tribute to Smokey Yunick's and Fireball Robert's Daytona 500 winner. It was way cool. # 2. 1960-66 Ford Galaxie. Most of these will have 390 cubes under the hood, and there is a ton of speed equipment for the old "FE" engine. ( Edelbrock even offers aluminum heads. ) The only downside is there is not as much aftermarket suspension or brake upgrades for these cars as there are for the GM offerings. # 3. 1961-67 Plymouth Fury / Belvedere / Dodge Monaco / Polara. Most of these will have 361 or 383 cubes, and a 440 or a crate Hemi would fit like it grew there. Of course you'd have to go Petty Blue and put number 43 on it. # 4. 1961-66 Chevy Impala / Bel Air. The reason the Chevys rank last is while the other three makes had big-blocks as standard equipment, most of the Chevys had 283 or 327 small-block power. 409s, 396s and 427s are rare and priced accordingly. On the upside, there is more speed equipment for Chevys than for anything else on the planet, and a Rat motor is an easy swap. You could build one of these relatively cheap because unless it is a 427 Galaxie, 409 / 427 Impala SS, 421 SD Catalina or 2+2, or a 413 / Hemi car-there not rare or pricey. There just and old "Big" car. With a lot of power and style.  Mastermind  

Massive power only works if you can put it to the ground......

I had some people ask me why the 600 hp Shelby GT 500 and the 580 hp ZL1 Camaro were only slightly faster than the 426 hp Camaro SS and the 444 hp Boss 302. By slightly I mean just a few tenths in the 1/4. The Boss 302 ran mid 12.40s and the Shelby only ran 12.20s. Ditto for the Chevys. The Camaro SS ran like 13 flat or 12.90 depending on what magazine you read, and the ZL1 only ran mid 12s. The reason is this-The Boss 302 driver could drop the clutch at 3,500-4,000 rpm and rocket off the line. The Shelby driver-even slipping the clutch at 2,200 rpm still fried the tires halfway down the track. The reason is the Supercharged engine in the Shelby had so much more bottom-end torque, and with a suspension set up for handling instead of drag racing, most of the extra power was lot in excessive wheelspin. Same for the Camaros. The SS ran best if the driver popped the clutch at 3,200 rpm. This gave just enough wheelspin to get the car moving with alarcity and get the engine up on it's torque curve. The ZL1-even with an automatic just fried the tires right off idle. A rear-wheel-drive car with 600 hp is going to fry the tires period. Drag Radials will help, but without extensive modifications to the suspension-( Which would ruin the ride and handling ) These cars will never reach their full potential in a drag race.  That's why the all-wheel-drive Nissan GTR can run 11.1 in the 1/4 with "Only" 545 hp. It has traction. It may have less hp, but it's putting every ounce of it to the ground. Mopar fans have the same problem-the 465 hp 6.4 liter SRT8 Charger isn't much faster than the 390 hp 5.7 liter R / T model. Because the extra power is eaten up in excessive wheelspin. So that's the physics lesson for today. Power is great, but only if you can put it to the ground. Mastermind  

More magazine test car "Ringers".......

A lot of guys wonder why they don't get the same results that the car magazines do even if their running the exact same parts. Well the problem is they don't read the whole article- or they don't comprehend it. Here's a perfect example-A few years ago Hot Rod had a "Crate Motor Shootout'. They put 8 different GMPP crate motors in a '69 Chevelle and drag tested them. All of the engines went blisteringly fast- the ZZ4 350 ran a 12.44, the ZZ383 ran 11.73, the 427 Rat ran an 11.35, and the ZZ572 ran an ungodly 10.21. The LS motors all ran in the 11s, except for the little 5.3-and it ran a 12.39. With only 325 hp?  However- the Chevelle was a gutted race car that only weighed 3,300 lbs with a 10 point cage and a 4 link ladder bar suspension. It also had slicks, and open exhaust, 4.30:1 gears and a TH400 with a trans-brake and a torque converter with a 4,800 rpm stall speed!! So "Joe Average" puts a ZZ4 or ZZ383 into his full-bodied Chevelle that weighs 3,800+ has a stock suspension, a full exhaust system, street tires, 3.31:1 gears, and a TH350 with a stock conveter. The car's fast-and fun to drive-but he can't break out of the 13s. Why doesn't his car run low 12s or high 11s like the test mule?  I just said why-it's 500 lbs heavier, has a suspension set up for handling instead of drag racing, and oh yeah-the trans brake, 4.30 gears and 5 grand converter offer a lot of mechanical advantage!!! It's really not cool that they do that. 1st off, a car with a 4,800 rpm converter is almost undriveable on the street. Even with 4.30 gears, the 60 mph freeway cruise rpm would still be well below the stall speed. Even with an auxilary cooler-you'd burn up the tranny in less than 100 miles!  Another bad one was Car Craft bragging that their "Stock" 5.0 1991 Mustang ran a blistering 14.05 e.t. It was stock except for the K&N airbox, the cat-back Flowmaster exhaust, the 3.73:1 gears, and 235 / 60R15 M&H wrinklewall drag radials. Gee, maybe that's why every other magazine-running stock exhaust, 2.73:1 or 3.08:1 gears, and 225 / 60R15 street tires could only run between 14.72 and 15.29!!!  Their still doing it. They raved how a "Stock" 2011 Camaro SS ran high 11s.  How'd they do that when every other magazine on the planet runs low 13s with a new Camaro?  By disconnecting the front sway bar for better weight transfer, swapping the Pirelli PZzeros for drag radials with 15 psi in them, dropping the clutch at 4,500 rpm and oh-yeah adding a "Shot" of nitrous!!!  That's realistic. Everyone drives around with their front sway bar disconnected, 15 psi in their rear tires and a nitrous system fully armed right??   Mastermind