The Path of Most Resistance......

Motivational speakers and Football coaches often talk about "The Path of Least Resistance". In other words, take the easy way instead of the hard way.  Or the other famous adage- K.I.S.S.- "Keep it simple,stupid."  I hate to be such a miserable, cynical bastard all the time, but the public pushes me to it. Gearheads are the worst offenders. Instead of going the easy route to big power and performance, these people decide to take the route that's the hardest and most expensive.  Here's a couple of prime examples. Moron # 1 Had a 1979 Firebird Formula with a 403 Olds engine. He wanted to run low 12s and still keep it drivable.  He asked my advice. I gave him two options. # 1. I said he should look for some '68-72 Olds 350 heads and have them re-done, and use Harland Sharp or Crane or Comp Cams or whatever Roller rockers to make the valvetrain adjustable like a small-block Chevy. I also advised him, to have the bolt holes re-tapped. '75 and later Olds engines use 1/2 inch bolts on the heads and '74 and earlier use 7/16. Anyhow, the older heads-which have 70cc instead of 83cc combustion chambers would instantly bump compression fron 7.9:1 to about 9.2:1. Edelbrock claims 397 hp and 400 lbs ft. of torque with their "Performer RPM" Intake and cam package for a 350 Olds. On a 403, the 53 extra cubes would put you well over 400 hp and 400 lbs of torque. Magazine writers spout numbers flippantly but 400 honest hp will turn any street car into a rocket. With an axle ratio between 3.23 and 3.73, and some 275/60R15 Drag radials mounted on his 8 inch "Snowflake" wheels- He could easily break into the 12s. The second option I gave him was to return it to "Real" Pontiac power. 400 Pontiac blocks are plentiful, and all BOP engines share the same bellhousing bolt-pattern, so he wouldn't have to change the tranny. For $1600 you can buy a stroker kit that includes crank, rod, pistons, custom balancing, and rings and bearings that turns a 400 into a 455. For $1,800 you can buy Edelbrock heads patterned after the famous Ram Air IV factory heads. For less than 5 grand you can build a 455 Pontiac with 473 hp and 529 lbs of tire-boiling torque. Depending on traction, this will put you solidly in the tlw 12s or the high 11s. I mean, honestly-who needs to go faster than that in a street car?  After I offered this advice he asked me if he should put an LS motor or a big block Chevy in it. Like Ron White says- "You can't fix Stupid".  I replied that # 1-using either an LS motor or a Rat-he'd have to buy a new transmission. His perfectly good BOP TH350 would not bolt up to the Chevy engines. So there's an extra $1,000 minimum. If he uses a Chevy bolt-patern TH350. If he wants to get cute and use a 700R4 or 4L80E-now he's changing crossmembers,rear trans mounts, driveshaft yokes, shortening and re-balancing the driveshaft, and adding electric controls which can get up into the 3 or 4 thousand dollar range. People talk shit about Camaros and Firebirds being interchangeable. For suspension parts, and brake rotors yes. But if your swapping a BOP engine for a Chevy-besides the tranny being different, the motor mounts are different, the starter is different, the alternator, water pump, fuel pump, power steering pump, A/C compressor and all the brackets are different. All the tin is different-the valve covers, oil pan, timing cover, etc,. The throttle linkage,the kickdown linkage, the vacuum lines, are all different and that's if your using an "Old-school" carburated small or big-block Chevy. If your swapping in an LS motor-you need to change the gas tank and fuel pump,and wire up all the electronics, which gets even ore expensive and time-consumeing. After I explained all this-he said I was arrogant and "Pissing" on his dream. When I said I had done about 100 engine swaps in my career and that even supposedly simple ones-i.e GM to GM or Ford to Ford-could be a pain in the ass-and cost way more and take more time, money and grief than anticiapated-he called me a "No it-All" with several expletives. Good luck, hot shot, especially since you didn't even know that your "6.6 Litre" engine was an Olds instead of a Pontiac. Moron # 2 had a 1969 Mustang with a 390 that he thought was a dog. It was a coupe and had a two-barrel carb, 2.80:1 gears, and nearly 200,000 miles. I suggested he rebuild his short-block and use the "Performer RPM" package that Edelbrock offers- heads, cam, intake, and carb. Edelbrock claims 417 hp and 434 lbs of torque with this package on a 390. LIke I said- 400 solid hp will make any car a rocket. Low 13s or very high 12 second et's would allow your vintage Mustang to smite new Camaros and Mustangs as well as BMW M3s and Lexus ISF's, while still being mostly original and "Correct". No he wants to put a 460 in it. When I replied that unless he spent 15 grand for a 600 hp 514 SVO stroker-that a 460 wouldn't run any better or as good as the hotted up 390, he accused me of being a "Just as it left the factory" type." With Edelbrock aluminum heads? Huh?  When I said that the "FE" and 385 series were ompletely different-the bellhousing bolt-pattern was different so you'd have to change the tranny-and that none of the tin or brackets would interchange, as well as the p/s pump, the water pump, the fuel pump,the alternator brakcets, the starter, the oil pan, etc, were all different-and that swapping Ford engines and trannys was a lot harder than GM or Mopar swaps because everything was different from model to model-I.E a 460 out of a Thunderbird will have totally different stuff than a 460 out of a Torino or an F250  unlike a Chevy-where you can take a 350 out of a '71 Impala and put it in a '79 Camaro and not even change the belts.  You guys-you know who you are-who have never worked as a professional mechanic- are the worst-we can't tell you anything because you already know everything. Good luck with those engine swaps without talking to someone who's done them. If you have enough money and time you can make anything work, but that doesn't mean it's right. People talk about possibilities-we know manned space flight is possible-but it isn't easy or cost-effective is it?  " Nuff said. Mastermind