Friday, January 27, 2012

What happened to badasses? Baby boomers want Nav and cupholders instead of horsepower!

Remember when a musclecar was a stripped-down, snarling street fighter? The automakers build a thing of beauty whose only motivation is speed.  That's what made people want to buy them, but out of greed and searching for "Broader Appeal"  then we try to change them into a grocery getter that appeals to women and families and old men. It's happened over and over throughout history. The original '64 GTO was a badass. DeLorean, Estes, and a few other Pontiac guys had the bright idea to stuff a big motor in a light car, and made history. Like the song said-"Three deuces and a 4-speed, and a 389." "Listen to her tachin' up now, listen to her wind, gonna turn it on, wind it up, blow it out, GTO!"  Yet, almost immediately, engineers began looking for "Broader appeal." The car got heavier every year. In 1967, for the first time, they sold more automatics than 4-speeds. The redesign of 1968 was a big hit, winning Motor Trend's "Car of the Year" award. The car got bigger, and heavier, and more luxurious, and more expensive. Most GTO's were over 4 grand in sticker price by 1968. It was still a runner, and still popular, but the Plymouth Road Runner came along-basically a 2 dr Belvedere Taxi with rubber floor mats, pop-out rear windows, and a hopped up 383 V8 that ran the 1/4 in under 14 seconds and cost $2800! The Road Runner was an instant hit, and even outsold the GTO for 1969. ( Pontiac sold 72,000 GTO's, Plymouth sold 81,000 Road Runners.) Dodge responded with the Super Bee, a stripped-down Coronet coupe with some cool graphics, and the 383 Magnum V8, the 426 Hemi, or the 440 Six-Pack. They didn't even bother with hubcaps or trick wheels. Just black steel wheels and chrome lug nuts. Chrysler hit the niche that GM was missing. No more tri-power GTOs or 442s after 1966. The vaunted SS396 Chevelle got the same fate as the goat-it got larger and heavier, and although the L78 was stone-cold bad with 11:1 compression, a hot solid-lifter cam, and a 780 Holley on an aluminum intake, not many were built. 99% of them had L34s with a mild hydraulic cam and and a quadrajet on an iron intake. More of them had vinyl tops than posis. Ford and Chrysler fell into this trap too,as the Mustang and Torino got bigger and heavier, as did the Charger and the Road Runner. We all know what the gas crisis and emissions did to musclecars in the '70s, but the automakers didn't learn. At the height of it's popularity and 3 best record sales years ever, some genius at GM decided that the Trans-Am didn't need a 400 cube V8 anymore. We all know how the ill-fated 301 Turbo worked out. Ford hit it out of the park with the lean,mean "5.0" Mustang in the '80's, but it too got heavier, and more pricey before it was replaced by the 4.6 versions. Subaru fell into this trap. The original WRX was a Rally car for the street. A delightful little hot rod with great handling and a turbo motor that spooled up plenty of power and loved to rev. They sold like hot cakes. What did the brass do? Tried to "Broaden it's appeal" by softening the supension and making the motor less peaky. All they did was make them LESS fun to drive!  Car and Driver said it best-and they didn't mean to be funny, but it was. In a recent road test of a Ford F250 Diesel pickup-they complained that it's ride was too stiff and too "trucklike". Hello?! A 3/4 ton pickup that's designed to tow 15,000 pounds is a little bouncy on rough pavement when it's unloaded?  Say it isn't so!!! Now I  understand why every Camaro SS or Mustang GT I see has a moonroof and Nav, and heated and cooled seats, and heated electric mirrors, and bluetooth so you can talk on your cell-phone. We all want BMWs and Lexuses.  To me that's a waste If I want a luxury car, I'll buy a Cadillac or a Mercedes. If I want a musclecar, I want it to be evil,wicked, mean and nasty, not subdued like a Camry!. Just had to vent that. Mastermind          

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