No you didn't......And you sound like a moron insisting you did.....

Had a couple of conversations this week that made me want to slap the people senseless-when I realized if they had any sense-they wouldn't be making the stupid statements that they were!!!  I blame the "Fast&Furious" movies. I know their immensely popular-but since the first one in 2001, stars Vin Diesel and the late Paul Walker spouting about "10 second" cars and insane horsepower numbers has caused idiots everywhere to make impossible boasts about their car's ability.  Moron #1. Claimed to have a Mitsubishi EVO sedan with "800" hp that could go 140 mph in third gear, and topped out at 197 mph-when he "Let off". Let me quote actor Ricardo Montalban- "Welcome to Fantasy Island." Here's why- 1st off- a stock Mitsubishi EVO has 305 hp. Like its closest competitior- the Subaru WRX STI-it runs 0-60 times in the mid 5-second range and the 1/4 in the very low 14s or very high 13s depending on which magazine road test you read and brutal the launch was. They also have a top speed of about 143 mph. He claims that by adapting a Ford Diesel truck Turbo that he was able to push the little 4-banger to the 800 hp level. Really-how-since Gale Banks-who is widely regarded as "THE" Turbo Guru-could only get 800 hp out of a 454 Chevy V8 and in a gutted '82 Trans-Am race car that had a drag coeffieceint of .028-was barely able to top 200 mph in Bonneville run. But I'm supposed to believe that this guy-in his garage was able to make that power level with one bolt-on piece-no head porting, no hotter cams, no bigger exhaust, no nitrous or water injection, no MSD or Jacobs additional electronic management, no larger fuel injectors, etc- from a 4-clyinder engine thats less than 150 cubes??  Even if this backyard mechanic was somehow able to actually increase the horsepower of his car by 50%-no easy feat even for factory engineers-he'd have "only" 450 hp-which would make the 3.330 lb car an absolute rocket-but it's still nowhere near "800" hp!!! And his speed claims are ludicrous. With stock gearing-even if he disabled the rev limiter and could go 7,500-8,000 rpm-the fastest he could possibly go in third gear is about 90 mph. As for his top speed claim-he's totally dreaming. The Hellcat Charger that really does have 707 hp-can only pull 186 mph top speed. The Z06 Corvette-which weighs less than an EVO, has 650 hp and a drag coefficient of something like .024-way more aerodynamic than the boxy little jap sedan-can only go 192. Danica Patrick-a NASCAR and Indy car driver-couldn't top 200 for Car and Driver in a Lamborghini Gallardo-but this asshole can go 197 in his boxy little rice rocket. Riggghhhht.  NASCAR Nextel Cup race cars that really do have 850 hp and are gutted, aerodynamic race cars-not production sedans with airbags, etc-rarely top 195 mph-with miles of acceleration at Talledega or Daytona. But this asshole goes quicker in his street car-he just "Lets off" at 197!!!  Sorry bud, not in your wildest, wettest dreams.  Moron # 2. Had a 1974 Pontiac Ventura. I like Venturas.  ( Pontiac's version of the Nova.) I had two of them-one with a warmed over 350 and the other with the warmed over 400 out of my wrecked Trans-Am. Since they weigh about 600 lbs less than a '70s Firebird-they make a good street machine. And any suspension or brake upgrades that fit a Camaro / Firebird fit these cars-so you can build a corner-carver or a drag racer. I commented on how nice the car was-and said I had a couple, and that my 400 version was quite a sleeper. Arrogant little bastard sneers at me-"Yeah well this one runs 10s."  I couldn't resist. Really? I said-"I'll run you right now,with my Subaru, and I'll bet you 100 bucks you can't outrun my Subaru." "And it's not a WRX, it's a Forester." "And it's not even a Turbo Forester." ( When Motor Trend voted the Forester SUV of the year for 2014-the Turbo model ran a 6.2 second 0-60 time and a 14.7 second 1/4. The base model, which I have-ran a 7.5 second 0-60 time and a 15.8 second 1/4 ). Which is faster than Cars Magazine's 1974 Ventura GTO test car. "I don't race for less than $500." the punk sneered at me. I had to crush him. "Ok." I said. "Let's race for $1,000." "Right Now." "You got "Noss" ( not nitrous,"Noss" god I hate the "F&F" movies!!!! ) on that thing?" He asked. "No." I replied. "You think your Forester runs 10s?" He sneered. "No."  "And your car couldn't travel 1320 feet in 10 seconds if it was dropped from an airplane." "Because I had a '69 GTO with a 12:1 compression, Ram Air III 400 with a solid-lifter Crane Cam, Hooker Headers, an Offenhauser Dual-Quad manifold with two 750 AFBs,backed by a Rock-Crusher 4-speed and a 4.33:1 geared posi rear end with Lakewood Ladder bars and N50-15 Mickey Thompson "Hot-n-Sticky" drag tires-and it could only run an 11.79 in the 1/4."  "I'm supposed to believe that your 7.6:1 compression 350 with stock iron intake and exhaust manifolds and a stock cam, and an automatic with a one-legger, 3.08:1 10 bolt rolling on 205 /75R14 tires is a full-second quicker than my Goat?" "I don't think so." "In fact like I said-I don't think this slug can out run my little SUV." "Or my co-worker's Honda Civic."  "Screw you buddy." he growled. "Yeah. Screw you too,obviously the truth hurts." He couldn't even lay 10 feet of rubber on his angry launch out of the parking lot, turning right!!. My buddy and I laughed ourselves sick. "Yep-that's a "10 second" car."  Guys-when you flippantly pull numbers out of your ass-you sound like a complete idiot to anyone who's ever been a mechanic or on a dragstrip or a racetrack. And you sound even stupider when you insist-after they've given irrefutable proof that you are wrong. If your going to brag about your "10 second" car-you damn sure better have a timeslip to back it up!!!  Mastermind