A rare turd is still a turd...

Robert Prosky said it in the movie "Christine". "You can't polish a turd". My friend that owned an import / specialty / performance auto parts store had a similar saying-"A rare turd is still just a turd." Of course they were making fun of people who were investing a ton of time and money in cars that would never be worth their effort or dollar investment. Like the '58 Fury in the movie or a Morris Minor. I see a trend on a lot of the classic car for sale websites. A lot of them are featuring ultra-low mileage "survivors"-i.e.-cars that are unrestored, but have been kept in a garage for 40 years, and their asking insane prices for them. I don't know if any of these actually sell for the insane prices, but I laugh at some of them. One was a 1979 Trans-Am with 65 miles on it. That's right 65. Asking price was $150,000. For a 403 Olds / TH350 model!!!  To put this in perspective-Trans-Am specialties of Florida had a 400, 4-speed, WS6, 10th Anniversary model with 25,000 original miles and new paint that they were asking $49,000 for. They had a 400,4-speed red and black '79 model with a killer motor-Edelbrock heads and intake, a Comp Cams cam, Hooker headers, MSD ignition-for $29,999, and for the same price a restored, documented by Dennis Mecham, '78 "Macho T/A" that had a killer 455 in it. They had a numbers-matching frame-off restored, 4-speed, RAIII 1970 model for $59,000, and a 455HO / 4-speed Lucerne Blue '71 model with 33,000 miles on it for $79,000. If you "gotta have" a badass T/A-any of those other cars are much better choices for half or even 1/5 of the money their asking for the "survivor".  Do they really think someone is going pay 150K for a 403 / TH350 model? Let's be real and expand beyond T/A's.   I've seen numbers-matching Hemi Road Runners and LS6 Chevelles going for less than that!! I've seen Boss 302, Boss 351 and Shelby Mustangs selling for less than that!! I've seen Tri-Power, 4-speed, 427 Stingrays selling for less than that. For half that!!  Another had an '86 IROC-Z Camaro with 30,000 miles on it, that they wanted $30,000 for!!. And it was an LG4 model!!! You know the carburated 305 that wheezed out 150 hp!!  Not even the 190 hp L69, or the 215 hp LB9, or the 240 hp L98 350!!!  And even if it had one of those other engines it's still not worth 30 grand!!  Guys I know are still buying '80's and early '90's Camaros and Firebirds dirt-cheap. I have seen rough, but running examples as low as $1,200-and anything over 3 grand is usually pretty nice. But 30K??  To put this in perspective-RK motors in South Carolina is advertising a restored, big-block, '74 Corvette Convertible for $35,000!! Their also showcasing a 350 / 4-speed, 1981 Corvette with 47,000 original miles for $24,000, A 19,000 mile Buick Grand National for $35,000 and a numbers-matching 302, 4-speed, '68 Z/28 for $49,000!!!  But you should pay 30K for an LG4 305 '86 Camaro!!!  Puhleeeze!  Some other offensive ones-some guy was advertising a 350 powered '72 Cutlass for $45,000. Not even a 442, a base-model Cutlass, with bench seats and a column-shifted TH350. By contrast- RK motors has a numbers-matching, frame-off restored 400 / TH400 1969 442 CONVERTIBLE with front disc brakes,power steering, power windows, tilt-wheel, and factory A/C for $62,000. For the same price they have a restored, numbers-matching 1968 4-speed, SS396 Chevelle, and a restored 400 / TH400 '67 GTO Convertible with factory A/C and the Hurst Dual / Gate shifter. Trans-Am specialties has a restored, numbers-matching, triple black loaded-and I mean loaded-the hood tach, power seats, power windows,factory a/c, posi rear end, 400 / TH400 powertrain, 1969 Gran Prix for $25,000!!  But you should pay 45K for this nothing Cutlass coupe? I've seen it in my hometown. A guy was heartbroken because he got no offers on his pristine '68 Chevelle. A bench seat, post coupe, drum braked, strippy 307 model!!  That he was asking $30,000 for!! It was a clean Chevelle body-and would make someone a nice project-but not with a 30K start price!! I know another guy who just sold his '72 Chevelle for 25K-but it was a 454 SS model!!  Another guy was crushed that no one was interested in his strippy automatic, 2bbl 262 V8 powered '76 Camaro. For $12,000. When a local classic car dealer has a pristine, 350 / 4-speed, T-Topped, Cowl Induction equipped 1980 Z/28 for $14,900!!!  See what I'm saying?  I've said it before-"rare" doesn't automatically mean "valuable". Who wants a 305 powered 1980 Corvette? Or a 301 powered '79 Trans-Am? Or a 255 V8 powered '81 Mustang?  My personal, all-time favorite for sheer Chutzpah was the guy whose ad said you could live out your "Kowalski" Vanishing Point fantasies. It was a 1970 Challenger he was selling, but it had 4-wheel drum brakes, no power steering, an automatic, and it was powered by a 225 inch Slant-Six!!!  A far cry from a 440 / 4-speed R/T model, don't you think??  Anyhow-two-barrel step-down engines, column-shifted bucket seat cars, bench seat 4-speed cars, two-speed automatics, 3-speed sticks,heater and radio delete cars aren't valuable-their just weird. Like the guy who was asking something like a $125K for a 1970 Trans-Am becuase it was "one of one". Apparently the only TH400 T/A Pontiac ever built with no console and a column shifter. That's right-this wasn't one of the 88 RAIV models ever built, or one of the 252 '73 SD-455s,or the ONE 455, 4-speed '76 model that Pontiac put a '77 front clip on for promotional purposes, that caused Burt Reynolds and Hal Needham to want a black T/A for "Smokey and the Bandit". No-this one has a crappy, ugly column shifter!! And that's why it's worth more than a condominium!!  Not!! as Wayne and Garth used to say on SNL. So buyer beware-and remember my friend's quote-"A rare turd is still a turd."  Mastermind