More "Tales From the Crypt".....

In the last post I talked about testing and tuning and finding the right combination to get the maximum performance out of your car. People don't realize how important this is. Even on a bone-stock engine bad tuning or simple neglect can cost you as much as 50 hp. When was the last time you changed the plugs and wires on your musclecar? The points, condenser, rotor and distributor cap?  When's the last time you changed the fuel filter? Is your carb jetted rich or lean or "right on?" When's the last time you checked the timing? Is it advanced or retarded?  Is your vacuum advance hooked up and working properly? Does the throttle linkage open fully without sticking or hanging up? On automatic cars-is the kickdown hooked up and functioning? Is the vacuum modulator hooked up and working? When's the last time you changed the fluid?  All these things are cheap, easy fixes, but if their neglected can cost you a ton of performance. Once all that's working and your getting maximum performance from your stock combo-then you can think about modifications. You have to remember that an internal combustion engine is basically an air pump. The more air and fuel you can make it flow-the more power you'll have. Now that's a very simplistic view-and right now we don't need to go into port velocity, cam timing etc. For this discussion that sentence will fly. The largest improvement you can make on any car regardless of make or model is improving the intake and exhaust. These offer the most "bang for the buck". A friend of mine bought an '83 Camaro with the LG4 305 4bbl, a 5-speed stick and a 3.73:1 rear end. He was crushed when my '77 T/A blew his doors off. Adding insult to injury-my car was not a 400 / 4-speed W72 model, but a lowly L80 403 Olds / TH350 model!!  As I said in the last post-my car was not exactly stock and surprised many a 400 Pontiac powered T/A, as well as Corvettes, "5.0" Mustangs, IROC-Z's, and another pal with a 2WD short-bed 454 pickup. He asked for my help in hopping the Camaro up. We put some Hedman shorty headers on it that had AIR tubes and an O2 sensor port from the factory. We also installed an Edelbrock Performer intake with an EGR valve. We did put real dual exhausts on it with some shorty glasspacks. It sounded badass. I told my pal that since we had the 02 sensor hooked up, the ECM would compensate the fuel mixture on the electronically controlled Q-Jet carb, and we might not have to mess with re-jetting the carb at all. We didn't. We had another drag race, and it was too close to call. The Improvement in the car's performance was stunning. Before I could just run away from him. Now depending on who spun their tires less-it was hard for either of us to get even a 1/2 car lead. The intake and exhaust improved the perfromance  that much on an otherwise stock 305 Chevy. He decided to go "whole hog" and we installed the matching Edelbrock Performer cam. Now he could beat me by 2 or 3 car lengths depending on launch. Which he got better at. You don't think of a 305 Chevy as having a lot of torque. The cam made a stunning improvement in the mid-range and top-end, but it did lose some on the bottom-end. This actually made the car quicker-because he had less wheelspin. Before if he dropped the clutch at any rpm over 3 grand, he just roasted the tires. Now he could drop the clutch at 4,500 rpm, spin the tires for 30 feet and rocket off the line!!  Shifting at 5,500-5,700 rpm, he totally stunned many LB9 / L98 Z/28 and Corvette owners, and crushed every "5.0" Mustang that challenged him. The best race he had was with a Buick Grand National. Since they ran low 14's right off the showroom floor, that demonstrates the HUGE improvement we made from the stock LG4 that wheezed out 150 hp!!  My pal asked what could he do next to get even more oomph. I laughed and said he should be happy with what he had, that unless he wanted to invest in a nitrous system, he had about reached the limit of the 305's potential. More power than he had would require swapping in a 350. He kept the 305 until he sold the car a couple years later-because "It's so damn much fun to drive as it is, that I can't bring myself to pull the engine and start over". In the early '60's Chrysler found more performance not in the engine, but the transmission. With the introduction of the Torqueflite in 1962-they dominated stock and super stock drag classes. Manual trans cars require quite a bit of driver skill, and let's face it-the best of us give it too much throttle or miss a shift once in a while. The automatics would launch consistently at the same rpm every time,with much less wheelspin, and would shift at the same rpm every time. Any racer will tell you that consistency is the key to winning. GM lagged behind. The TH400 was introduced in 1965-in "big" cars like the Impala and Catalina. If you wanted an automatic in a Chevelle, or a GTO or even a Corvette you got the awful 2-speed Powerglide / ST300!!  The TH400 wasn't available in a GTO or Chevelle until 1967, and the Corvette until 1968. Now most of your musclecars-will have Torqueflites if their Chrysler, TH350 or 400s if their GM or C4 / C6's if their Fords. All of these are excellent trannys and with the proper shift kit and torque converter can really rock. Part of the reason my T/A was so deadly in a "Stoplight Gran Prix" was the TransGo shift kit. It would kick down to 1st gear below 20 mph. This was a huge advantage. Think-If me and say a 400 Pontiac-powered automatic T/A-or even a 383 Road Runner or 396 Chevelle with an auto are coming up to a red light-we start slowing down to stop. We get down to 10-15 mph, but still moving. The light turns green and we punch it. My TH350 kicks down to low gear. The T/A / Chevelle / Road Runner's tranny kicks down to 2nd. We've both just floored it, we've both got 400 cubes in roughly a 3,700 lb car. Except I'm in 1st gear and the other guy is in 2nd. Who's going to accelerate harder? And once I get that car length or two lead-it's going to be awful hard for the other guy to make it up. Unless he's got a SERIOUS motor-he's not going to. A friend of mine had a 340 Dart with a Torqueflite and this shift kit that stunned many a big-block car. He had 3.55:1 gears which is a great compromise between jack rabbit starts and reasonable freeway cruising rpm, and like I said-if the cars were moving at all he'd be in low and the other guy'd be in 2nd. That's how we beat many a "faster" car. In fact we'd tell people that to avoid wheelspin being a factor we'd prefer to run from a 10-20 mph roll!! And they'd fall for it, thinking they'd really smoke us now. Surprise!!!  The reason is most automatic trannys are programmed to downshift to low gear only from a complete stop. If the car is moving at all-even 10 mph-they'll kick down to 2nd, but not low. TransGo and B&M make shift kits and governor weight kits to solve this. Even on later cars with AOD trannys like a 700R4-these kits will give you automatic kickdown to low gear and a full-throttle upshift to 4th.  My pal with the 454 pickup grenaded the Rat one day. Another friend gave him a 400 small-block out of his wife's wrecked station wagon. He rebuilt the 400 installing the old standby-the "350 hp" 327 Corvette cam, a set of headers and a 3310 Holley on an Edelbrock Performer intake. The 400 actually had more torque than the 454!  With the 454 it would smoke the tires if you wanted to, but it actually came off the line really good. The 400 just fried the tires. He had to work on walking it off the line and hitting it maybe 20 feet out to avoid excessive wheelspin. Once he got the launch down, the truck was really quick. He gave my buddy in the pumped-up '83 Camaro a run for the money neither of us will forget. Scoff if you want-but a 4,300 lb pickup that runs low 14s, and has 15 inches of vacuum at idle is pretty cool. Anyone who drove or rode in that truck couldn't believe a small-block could have that much power. It was a simple but effective combination. The old L79 350 hp cam was a little lumpy in a 327, which is why it was only available with a 4-speed in a Corvette, Chevelle or Nova. It's better in a 350, but really sweet in a 400. And the intake and exhaust allowed it to breathe as it should, and the pickup's 3.73:1 posi rear certainly helped put that power to the ground. Sometimes less is more. Never under-estimate a simple, perfectly tuned combination with an experienced driver. A buddy of mine restored a '72 440 Road Runner. He used the stock 440 Magnum cam. It didn't even have headers on it-he used the stock exhaust manifolds, with a good Dynomax system behind them. He used an Edelbrock Performer intake and matching 750 cfm carb. He did install the TransGo shift kit, and swapped the 3.23:1 gears for some 4.10:1s. Funny-the 4.10s didn't seem to help one ounce in low gear. However-they made a HUGE difference in 2nd and 3rd!!  This car smote many a "badass" hot rod in biblical fashion. He showed his tailights to everybody, including my 455 / TH400 '73 Hurst / Olds. In my defense-at that time my car still had the stock 3.08:1 gears. If I had 4.10s ( which I later installed ) or if his car had the stock 3.23s-it might have been a different story. But that's "bench racing".  His car was really quick. He ran it at Reno-Fernley Raceway one time and it ran 13.54. Not bad on street tires with a mild combo. We all know how strong a 440 Magnum is, even basically stock. Anyhow-it takes a little trial and error, but it's worth it in the logn run to maximize your performance.  Mastermind          

You need to do testing and tuning to get the best results....

I talk to a lot of people who complain that their cars don't perform up to magazine test cars results. As I said in a previous post sometimes the test cars are "ringers" i.e.-supertuned or mildly modified. Even when their bone stock there can be glaring differences in 0-60 and 1/4 mile times.  The last 400 4-speed Trans-Ams tested in 1979 are a good example. Car and Driver's test car ran a 15.3 second 1/4 mile time. Hot Rod's ran a blistering 14.61. Was Hot Rod's car a ringer?  No it wasn't. The difference is the driving technique. Car and Driver launched the car a 2,200 rpm with "some wheelspin" and all shifts were lift-throttle. Hot Rod Revved it up to 3,500-4,000 and dropped the clutch hard, and powershifted their way to the 14.61. Popular Hot Rodding and High-Performance Cars tested 400 / 4-speed Formulas. PHR ran a 15.04. High-Performance Cars ran a 14.78. The difference could have been weather-maybe a headwind, or track conditions or driver skill, or maybe one car was just a couple tenths quicker. That happens. In the early 90's several magazines tested "5.0" Mustangs. The 1/4 mile times varied the quickest being a 14.72 and the slowest being a 15.29. The test cars were all 5-speeds, some had 2.73:1 gears and some had 3.08:1s. Some had only 250 miles on them; one had 5,600. Certainly small differences could be attributed to one having a better broken-in engine, or slightly stiffer gearing. But 14.70-15.30 is a broad range-six tenths, which would be six car lengths in a drag race. ( The rule of thumb is 1/10 equals 1 car length ). Most of this was launch technique and shift points. All the testers said the car's would spin the tires as long as you want to stay on the throttle. While that's great for a burnout contest, it's not conducive to quick 0-60 or 1/4 mile times. Most of the testers would pop the clutch between 2,500-3,000 rpm which would cause the excessive wheelspin-and would shift at the 5,500 rpm redline. Hot Rod got the fastest time by slipping the clutch and walking it off the line at 1,800-2,200 rpm, and short-shifting at 4,800-5,000 rpm. This avoided the excessive wheelspin on launch and made maximum use of the 302's tractor-like torque curve. Yeah, the engine would rev to 5,500 and beyond, but it wasn't making any more power above 5,000 rpm. Revving to 5,500-5,700 was just beating up the valvesprings unnecessarily. I learned this when I had my '69 Judge and again when I had my '77 T/A. The Judge was a Ram Air III / 4-speed model with 4.33:1 gears. It also had an Offenhauser Dual-Quad intake with two 750 AFB's on it, a hot Crane Solid-lifter cam, and Hooker Headers. It also had Lakewood Ladder bars and N50X15 Mickey Thompsom "Hot-n-Sticky" rear tires. It launched best if I popped the clutch about 3,800-4,300 rpm. Below 3,500 and the car would go slower. Above 4,500 and it would blow the tires off. But in that 500 rpm window it would come out of the hole like a rocket, with just enough wheelspin to get the car moving with alarcity and the engine up on it's torque curve. Because of the RAIII 400's massive torque times didn't vary much if I shifted between 5,800-6,200 rpm. I could run it to 6,500-6,800 if I wanted to-but the car didn't go any faster; I was just beating up the bottom-end and the valvesprings for no reason. Once I had mastered this technique I was deadly in a drag race. Rev to 4,000, side-step the clutch, powershift at 6,000, rock-n-roll baby!!  But I had to play with shift points and launch rpm to know this. And it matters even on cars that aren't super-hot like the Judge. My '77 T/A was a 403 Olds model with a TH350 and 2.56:1 gears. When it was bone-stock I figured out it made no difference on launch if I just punched it off-idle or if I powerbraked it to 2,000 rpm. Neither technique showed a noticeable gain over the other. This was probably because the 403 made 325 lbs ft of torque at 1,600 rpm. This torque rating was identical to the 400 Pontiacs, except the Pontiac's torque peak came much higher in the range. I learned that shift points made a difference even with an automatic. The car ran quickest if I shifted manually at 4,900 rpm ( 1-2 ), and 4,400 rpm ( 2-3 ). After I modified it with Hooker Headers, a Holley "Street Dominator" intake, a custom-jetted Quadrajet, a TransGo shift kit, and swapping the R46SZ ( .080 gap ) plugs for R45S ( .040 gap ) plugs the 1/4 mile time dropped substantially-from 16.3 to 14.9!! The plugs made a big difference. Even with the headers and the single-plane intake-the car had noticeably more power-but it would start to run out of breath about 4,700 rpm. Even GM's mighty HEI couldn't bridge an .080 gap at high rpm. With the .040 gap plugs it would pull hard to 5,400 rpm. With this serious extra power infusion, I had to change my driving technique. Now the car launched better if I powerbraked it  to 2,000 rpm. And it ran quicker if I shifted at 5,200 rpm 1-2, and 5,000 rpm 2-3.  So it's definitely worth it to take the time to play with launch rpm and shift points and find your car's "Sweet Spot".  That's how my T/A beat many supposedly "faster" cars.  Mastermind      

We need a good "Southern Fried" Revenge tale....

There has been talk of Quentin Tarantino doing a remake of the cult classic "White Lightning". I talked at length about this in a post a couple years ago. I don't think it's a good idea. 1st off-with marijuana now legal in most states it would be a pretty hard sell to make the audience believe that anyone gives a shit about untaxed whiskey in this day and age. Secondly-in order to do all the car stunts Tarantino himself had Kurt Russel's "Stuntman Mike" in "Death Proof" rail at length about CGI "ruined" action movies and that new stuff couldn't compare to "Bullitt" or "Vanishing Point" or "White Line Fever"-you couldn't use new cars. The airbags would trigger, the fuel pumps shut off, the suspensions fall out if they were abused like '71 LTD that "Gator" drove. You'd have to set it in the late '60's and use old cars. Third, the acting was awesome. Burt Reynolds played a badass, good ole boy convict perfectly. He'll buy you a beer, tell you a joke, screw your woman, and kill you for a nickel. "Gator" tells the feds what they want to hear to get out of prison-that he'll catch JC Connors for income tax evasion and taking money from whiskey runners. It's pretty clear that Gator plans to kill him from the outset, and doesn't care if he dies or goes back to prison as long as he gets the man who killed his little brother. That's a badass motherfucker. No cutesy "Good guy in bad circumstances" or "Innocent Man Falsely Accused" crap that was so popular in the '70's. Ned Beatty-who played the meek businessman raped by hillbillies in Deliverance does a complete 180 and is utterly chilling as the corrupt, ruthless, murdering Sheriff J.C. Connors. He was more threatening in my opinion than Strother Martin ( "What we have here is a failure to communicate" ) in "Cool Hand Luke". That's range as an actor. Matt Clark was great as a tragic Federal Informant, and Bo Hopkins and R.G. Armstrong are both good as evil moonshiners who turn on Gator when they figure out he's undercover. The greatest performance however was by Jennifer Billingsley-"Shake-a-Puddin". Her brown roots showing in her bleach-blonde hair,barefoot in that skimpy sundress for most of the movie, she just oozed sex appeal, and has sex with Gator in a pond while her boyfriend ( Bo Hopkins ) sleeps in the house up the road. She's not even angry when Gator sets her up for rape so they can escape "Big Bear" and his henchmen. Together they kick ass and she even drives the wounded Gator to a home for unwed mothers for medical attention. Other actresses have tried valiantly to nail the southern slut that men die and kill for-Kim Basinger in "No Mercy", Teri Hatcher in "Heaven's Prisoners" and most recently Reese Witherspoon in "Mud", but none can top Billingsley's epic performance. The movie as a whole is awesome. I just don't think you could improve on it. Just like they shouldn't have done "True Grit". You can't top John Wayne in a western. Like the original "Vanishing Point" "White Lightning" should be on the movie director's "Thou Shalt Not Remake" list. However there's other classics that you could successfully re-do. Here's my list. # 1. "Thunder Road". This made Robert Mitchum a big star. He played Luke Doolin a Korean War Vet who was at war with the feds and other moonshiner's trying to take his business.  Mitchum got this project bought because he had Elvis Presley committed to star in it. Col Parker-Presley's manager convinced him that playing a gangster would tarnish his good-guy image. When Elvis pulled out-Mitchum stepped in, starring and singing the title song. It was a huge hit. In a remake-I'd set it in the late '60's and make Doolin a Viet Nam Vet. I'd also have the gangsters running drugs as well as booze and dabbling in gambling and prostitution. You could use classic musclecars in the chases and Doolin and fellow Vets could kick a lot of ass. Let the screen writer decide if Doolin goes out in a blaze of glory like the original, or if he changes it and he survives and gets away, or goes to prison. I think it would fly, especially if the stunt work was "old school" not CGI.  # 2. "A Small Town in Texas." This one starred Timothy Bottoms, Bo Hopkins and Susan George. It was written by William Norton who also wrote "White Lightning".  Timothy Bottoms played "Poke" Jackson a Texas football hero who just did 5 years in prison on drug charges. He may or may not have been set up by the evil sheriff played with glee by Bo Hopkins. All he wants to do is retrieve his high-school girlfriend ( George ) and their son and move to California where he has a job lined up. However while he was away the sheriff has been dating his girl. Further complicating things-Poke witnesses the Sheriff murdering a popular Hispanic politician. He realizes he's between a rock and a hard place-he either has to run or kill the sheriff to ensure his and his girlfriend's safety. If he kills the sheriff, there's a good chance he'll go back to prison. Try selling that you killed a cop in '70's Texas in self-defense.  He's leaning towards just leaving the state either with or without Susie and the kid. He's that worried. Then the sheriff goes too far kills his best friend. He decides he'll kill the asshole and worry about consequences if he survives. There's some good chase action-one with a 650 Triumph motorcycle and the other with a '64 Chevy pickup that's supposedly 427 powered. Susan George turned in her usual performance which was look sexy in skimpy clothes and yell at the hero a lot-just as she did in "Straw Dogs", "Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry" and the Civil War potboiler "Mandingo"-where her inter-racial sex scene with boxer Ken Norton ( this was 1975, remember ) got her some Sharon Stone "Basic Instinct" style notoriety for a few years. Mostly she just looked good in a straining halter-top. Anyhow it was good revenge flick and worthy of re-visiting if it's done right. You could even set the story in modern times. Football Hero set up by dirty cop? People would buy that. # 3. "Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry". This one starred Susan George and Peter Fonda and a yellow '69 Charger. The film actually has a good plot. Fonda is a former race-car driver who decides to fund his return to NASCAR by robbing a Wal-Mart type mega store. Him and his mechanic buddy kidnap the manager's wife and kids and force him to co-operate. The kidnapping and robbery sequences are suspenseful and believable,and there's some good car-chase action early on in a '66 Chevy Impala. Susan George is a one-night stand that Fonda takes along. She looks incredibly sexy and spends most of the movie barefoot in a straining denim halter top and hip-hugger jeans that barely cover the crack of her ass. They swap the Impala for the Charger and make a run for freedom. Fonda and George trade wise-cracks at each other while the mechanic tells Fonda he's "over-driving" the car. Vic Morrow is great as an obsessed sheriff trying to catch them. They go out in a blaze of glory at the end-hitting a speeding freight train. This spectacular crash was used in the opening credits of "The Fall Guy" for years. Anyhow-the robbery-kidnapping-force the employee to help plot would still fly today-especially with cell-phones and computers etc. Just change the dollar amounts. You could use a modern Challenger or Charger. I vote for Chris Hemsworth for the role of "Larry" and Scarlett Johansen as "Mary".  Scarlett Johansen barefoot in a halter-top the whole movie-that's worth the price of admission right there. # 4. "Bobbi Jo and the Outlaw."  This one starred a pre-"Wonder Woman" Lynda Carter and Evangelist-turned-action star Marjoe Gortner.  Carter is a waitress who wants to be a country singer who takes up with Marjoe, who fancies himself a modern-day Jesse James or Billy the Kid. Lynda Carter gets naked a lot.  Some good action as they go on a crime spree and some good chases in cars Gortner steals. As with all '70's movies of this type it doesn't end well for the dynamic duo. Did I mention that Lynda Carter gets naked a lot?  The only problem I see with this one is casting. Lynda Carter was smokin' hot and could sing, and Marjoe was a good-looking sonofabitch, and had charisma in spades. How else do you go from being a traveling, fire-and brimstone-basically a real-life "Brother Love's Travelling Salvation Show" Bible-Thumping Huckster to a movie star? Talk about balls and self-esteem? This guy thought Elvis might be as cool as himself. He also guest-starred on a bunch of TV shows in the '70's like "Charlie's Angels" "Fantasy Island", and made some other "B" movies. What modern actors can fill those shoes?  Are you listening QT?  Mastermind            

If you want to build a copy of a "Movie" car or something else do it!! .....Just don't go batshit crazy making it "Correct"...

I talk to many enthusiasts who'd like to copy a "Movie" car or something else but worry it would cost so much they couldn't possibly do it. Now I mentioned the one-off factory-built manual transmission BMW 733I driven by Jason Statham in the original "Transporter". Yes, if it could even be done-converting a 740i  from automatic to stick would be astronomically expensive. However-the 540i Sport models have the same V8 as the 7 series and were available from the factory with a 6-speed manual!!  So if you want to live out your "Transporter" fantasies-start looking for a stick-shift 540i !!  If you want a "Bullitt" Mustang clone-you don't need to spend $25,000+ on a for-real '67-68 390 GT.  Buy a 289 Fastback and play with that. Torq-Thrust mags and a Dark Highland Green paint job and you've got the look.  Since it's a fake anyway-you could swap in the engine and 5-speed tranny out of a '90's fuel-injected "5.0". Or buy a nasty 351W crate engine from Ford SVT or Blueprint engines. Want to play "Magnum P.I?"  I see 308 / 328 GTB / GTS Ferarri's for anywhere from 25-50 grand all the time, depending on mileage and condition. That's not chump change-but I'd much rather spend 40 grand on a for-real Ferarri than 100K+ on an "Eleanor" clone!!  Or you can hop up a base-model. I've talked before about a friend who bought a 6-cylinder / 3-speed '69 Camaro at an auction back in the '80's for $900. A mild 350, a Saginaw 4-speed, a cowl-induction hood, some Rally wheels and paint and emblems-and everyone "oohs" and ahhs" over his "Z/28". Total investment-$ 3,500!!  Even 30+ years ago that was unbelievably cheap. With only 697 built you can't touch a 1969 T/A for under 100 grand. But 15 grand will buy you a nice example of the other 115,000 V8 Firebirds built that year. Year One, Ames,NPD and other places sell the scoops and spoilers, hood tach if you want it, etc to clone a Trans-Am. It's a fake anyway-so who cares if it's a 350? Or if you just "gotta have" an RAIII or RAIV spec motor-It wouldn't be that hard to find a 400 if you wanted one,put some Edelbrock heads and other goodies on it, and even with paint work and everything for less than 25K you'd have a car that no one would know wasn't the real deal unless they checked serial numbers or you told them!! And it would still be big fun to drive. Ditto for a '65-68 GT350 or GT500 Shelby Mustang. Tony Branda and other companies sell the body trim. You could hop up a 289 or swap in a 347 crate motor for a cool "GT350". Want a GT500?  428s are hard to find-but 390s are plentiful and externally identical. Edelbrock claims 452 hp from a 390 with their "Performer RPM" package. That'll get you down the road quickly!!  The point I'm making is you can have a fun toy for not a lot of money if you don't go crazy. Don't scour the galaxy looking for an overpriced "Li'l Red Express" pickup with a smog-dog E58 360. Buy a '74-79 Dodge 1/2 ton, put a stompin' 440 in it with dual-quads or a Six-Pack,( or a 472 Crate Hemi!! ) paint it monochromatic black and get a license plate that says "TRMNATR"!  See what I'm saying?  Mastermind          

More "Movie" and "TV" cars to avoid....

I spoke in the last post how I know for sure that no one has a "Vanishing Point" Challenger, "Bullitt" Mustang, "Bandit" T/A etc. You really have to be careful when buying because there are schysters everywhere who will try to make a quick buck off an unsuspecting consumer. I have a friend who has been in the movie business for 30+ years and she said most of the time a car used in a movie is crushed after filming because the film makers are afraid of liability claims. For example BMW built a one-off manual transmission 733i for the "Transporter". If someone bought that ( impossible; it was blown up in the film ) and drove it-how would a dealer gets parts to repair it? Would BMW warranty it? It's just too risky financially for the car builders and film companies. Someone buys the car-then crashes it and is injured or injures someone else. A lawyer proves that the wreck was caused by mechanical failure due to parts breakage from the stunt work in the film. The "Deep Pockets" rule is used and the movie company takes it in the shorts because some idiot rolled a car while pretending to be Jason Statham or Vin Diesel. They just won't risk it. If it's something really unique often it ends up on display at the Peterson Automotive museum or at Universal Studios. But that doesn't stop scammers from trying to soak the public. I saw a few advertised just the other day. One was a 1969 Charger. It was yellow with black stripes and Ansen slot mags. It had a 440 and a Torqueflite. The seller didn't say that it was the actual car from "Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry" ( It couldn't be-we saw that car's demise at the end of the movie and in the opening credits of "The Fall Guy" for 5 years ) but he sure hinted at it. I have seen numerous "Eleanor" Mustangs for sale all over the internet. This one really cracks me up. The original "Gone in 60 Seconds" starred H.B. Halicki and a yellow '73 Mustang Mach 1 nicknamed "Eleanor". The final 40 minutes of automotive mayhem is still entertaining to watch 45 years later. Like Tracie Thoms said in "Death Proof"-several years ago Nicholas Cage, Robert Duvall, and Angelina Jolie were in a stinker re-make that wasn't nearly as good, even though it had a much bigger budget. And the Mustang called "Eleanor" was a '67 Mustang with a body kit on it. It was supposed to be a Shelby GT500 but it was obviously a fake. The car is cool looking no doubt about that; but compare it to a for-real GT500-and you'll see the glaring differences. Plus the cars were not 428CJ models. They had 351W crate engines and C6 automatics!!  All of them were priced over 100K. Huh?  I see for-real, numbers-matching documented with a Marti Report 428 CJ Shelby GT500s for sale all the time-some under 100K, some over.  Think about this. You can buy a fully restored, numbers-matching, for-real 428CJ Shelby GT500 for your $100 grand, or you can buy a 351W powered "kit car" that someone cobbled up that's a copy of a car that never existed!!  Which line do you want to be in?  The original "Batmobile" was built by George Barris on a Lincoln Futura chassis. I don't know anyone who doesn't know this. However there are dozens of "Batmobiles" for sale on the internet every day, and god knows what they are made from! I see all kinds of "Starsky&Hutch" Torinos. Once in a while they'll have something really cool-like a 460 backed by a Tremec 5-speed. Most of the time it's a nothing '74-76 Torino 2 dr painted red with a white stripe, with 14" slot mags, with bench seats and a column-shifted FMX behind a 2bbl 351M!!  Now who could resist that?  Every once in a while you'll see a "Miami Vice" Daytona Spider for sale. Except it's not a Ferarri. Neither was the one on the show driven by Don Johnson. It was a Kit Car based on a 1981 Corvette built by Tom McBurnie. And it was blown to bits in the season 2 opener. However-McBurnie and a company called Rowley Corvette and a few others were selling these kits that used a '68-82 'Vette chassis for a few years in the late '80's. However Ferarri sued NBC and the Producers of "Vice" for copywright infringement for using a fake Ferarri and passing it off as real and won-that's why Sonny Crockett got a White Testa Rossa in season 2. Ferarri supplied that as part of the settlement. They also got an injunction that made Rowley and McBurnie and others stop selling the kits. But anyway-now and then you see one advertised on the 'Net or in Hemmings, usually for some astronomical price like 150K. And these are almost always based on an L48 /TH350 '76 model or something similar. If I wanted a '76 Corvette-I could find one for 3-5 grand in any state in the union!!  I've never seen one with a snarling aluminum-headed 454 and a 5-speed. Not that that would be worth 150K either; I'm just saying these cars are never anything really badass their just a '70's Vette with a different fiberglass body!! You may not be able to buy a Real Daytona Spider for 150 grand, but if you want a real Ferarri-I see 308 / 328 GTS's, 512BBs,Testa Rossas and F430's all the time for between 30 to 100K depending on mileage and condition. The all-time winner for sheer Chutzpah goes to the guy who was selling a gold '78 Firebird. With a 301 with a 2bbl and an automatic. Who wanted $30,000 for it becuase it's "Just Like" the "Rockford Files" car!!  ( James Garner drove several gold '74-78 Formula and Esprit Firebirds on the series that ran from 1974-1980 ). Excuse me?  I've seen 400, 4-speed, 4-wheel disc braked, 10th Anniversary Trans-Am models with low mileage for sale for 15K, and you expect someone to pay 30 grand for a 2bbl 301 base model??  What's next the blue and white Mustang II from "Charlie's Angels?" Farrah has sadly passed away, and even if it came with a barefoot, bikini clad Cheryl Ladd-( She still looks awesome ) who really want's a '76 Mustang II?  Anyhow just remember the old saying-"Buyer Beware".  Mastermind        

Do your research BEFORE you spend your money on a "Movie Car" !!

I always get a kick out of people who think their "stealing" something special or getting an incredible deal on something ultra-rare, and then it bites them in the ass. And it serves the greedy bastards right. Here's a few examples. # 1. "Vanishing Point" Challenger. Several people over the years have claimed to have bought and sold or owned one of the cars featured in the cult classic. Their all liars. Here's why. Chrysler supplied five Alpine White Challenger R/T's for the movie. Four were 440 / 4-speeds, and one was a 383 / Automatic. Although they were pretty trashed,a few members of the stunt crew wanted to buy the cars after filming wrapped. However-the Chrysler brass didn't like the movie. They thought it glorified drug use and running from the police, and demanded the cars be shipped back to Hammtrack and crushed. So any asshole who claims he has one of the "Vanishing Point" cars is lying through his teeth, because they were all destroyed in 1971!!   # 2. "Bullitt" Mustang. Tons of people over the years have claimed to have one of these. Ford supplied five cars for the movie, all 390 / 4-speeds. Ford guys don't like to hear it-but in early practice runs for the chase-the 440 / 4-speed Charger would leave the Mustangs so badly that it was unfilmable. It wasn't even a race. Steve McQueen was furious. Stunt Coordinator Carey Loftin ( who also worked on "Vanishing Point" ) and head mechanic Max Balchowski hopped up one of the Mustangs with headers, an Edelbrock intake and Holley carb, and a Mallory distributor. That's why it sounds sooo badass when McQueen is winding it up. The Charger would still win a drag race,by a car length or two, but now they could film it. Bounding over the streets of San Francisco at speeds up to 115 mph-the Charger kept throwing hubcaps. If you watch the film closely the Charger loses 8 hubcaps in the chase!  However-the Mustang was literally falling apart. The shock towers ripping out, suspension parts bending, door handles falling off. Loftin and Balchowski worked overtime every night taking parts off the other cars to keep the camera car running!! By the time filming was over, only two of the five were left standing. The other three were crushed. One was bought by some guy in New York and has been stored in his garage for nearly 50 years. Chad McQueen-Steve's son and an accomplished racer and car buff himself tried to buy it several years ago and was rebuffed. I'm not sure if the same guy still owns it now. The other one seeming ly was lost to the sands of time until a few months ago someone found it in a junkyard in Mexico. "Basket Case" would be an understatement. It's basically a rusted out body and a vin plate. However the vin number does match one of the five Ford sent for the movie. The current owner has vowed to restore it to it's former glory. How? With a new Dynacorn body and all new and old parts? Even if he finds 390 and a Top-Loader 4-speed with 1968 date codes how much of the original car is left?  Does a vin plate constitute a car?  Also-if you watch the film-the cars have all the chrome and all emblems removed. I don't know how many "Bullitt" cars I've seen with all the emblems and chrome intact!  And given all the facts I just stated-all these people are lying!!  # 3. "Smokey and the Bandit" Trans-Am. Pontiac supplied 10 T/A's for this film and they were all destroyed. Some were 4-speeds-in some scenes you see the clutch pedal or they show Burt Reynolds shifting it, or you can hear him rev the engine and pop the clutch before doing a smoky burnout.. In other scenes you see the automatic shifter on the console!  Rumor has it that Sally Field couldn't drive a stick, and director / stunt coordinator Hal Needham gave up trying to edit the shifters out of the dailies, figuring no one would notice or care. Anyhow all 10 were damaged badly and crushed after filming. Since over 15,000 of the 68,000 T/A's Pontiac sold that year were black and gold SE models-a lot of assholes have claimed to have a "Bandit" car. They don't, they don't exist. Trans-Am Specialties of Florida has the 1976 455 / 4-speed 50th Anniversary SE that Pontiac put a '77 front end on for an early ad campaign, that caused Reynolds and Needham to decide-"That's the car we need".  They also have a black and gold T/A that was owned and driven by Burt Reynolds, but it was not used in the movie. So again-any dolt who claims to have a for-real "Bandit" car is full of shit. # 4. Steve McQueen Porsche 911. This one got a high-end car dealer and Hemmings Motor News and other publications in hot water. They claimed to have Steve McQueen's "personal" 911S for sale. Steve McQueen did in fact buy a 911 brand-new in 1969. Seeing the ad-Chad McQueen sent them a letter that basically said-"Gentlemen-I know without a doubt that you do NOT have Steve McQueen's 911S, because it's my garage."  "My father bought it new in 1969 and drove it for several years." "Before he passed away in 1980 he gave the car to my sister who enjoyed it and maintained it for many years."  "When she died of breast cancer a few year ago her husband gave the car back to me."  "It has never left the family."  "So please stop advertising that you have my father's car, because you don't!!"  Upon hearing about this, the poor slob who doubtless paid way more than the car was worth-sued the dealer and the publications wanting some or all of his money back. Some research was done and hears what happened. While filming the racing movie "LeMans" in France in 1970-Steve McQueen drove a real Porsche 917 race car in the film, and because the Porsche factory was heavily involved in the film he formed a friendship with Ferdinand Porsche-the CEO. One day on the set-they were talking and McQueen commented on the great curvy country roads and said "I wish I had my 911 over here."  Wanting to make his friend happy-Ferdinand Porsche called Stuttgart and had a 1970 911S shipped to France and said McQueen could play with it on his days off. McQueen wrecked it playing grab-ass on a country road. He wasn't injured, but the car was nearly totalled. McQueen offered to pay for it, but Ferdinand Porsche said not to worry, they'd write it off as an expense of doing the the movie since they were supplying the race cars as well. The car was repaired and sold as a used car later on, obviously with this interesting story attatched. Somehow in the intervening years someone either innocently or intentionally embellished the story and the car's status changed from "Driven by Steve McQueen" to "Owned by Steve McQueen". The car buyer was compensated and apologies issued all around, but it embarrased a lot of people. # 5. "Fast&Furious" Charger. They wrecked a 1970 Charger at the end of the 1st movie. The second one and third one didn't have Vin Diesel in them. Paul Walker was in the 2nd one. The 4th one had the original cast re-united. The stunt crew paid $30,000 for a decent '70 Charger and $16,000 for a junk one and other figures in between on '68-70 models to make cars for F&F 4. The "Promotional" Charger that went to movie premieres and now is in a musclecar museum was pretty trick and had a supercharged 528 inch Mopar Performance crate Hemi. The stunt cars used in the movie had fiberglass front ends and Mopar guys are cringing-350 Chevy engines and Turbo 400 trannys!!  The blowers were bolt-on fakes. And they were all wrecked in filming. Even if they weren't, who in the hell wants a cobbled up Charger with a fake front clip and a Chevy engine anyway??   Anyhow be very careful when some clown assures you that this is "The car used in the movie". Because it more than likely isn't!!  Mastermind            

More Road test Ringers....

In the last post I promised some more Road Test "Ringers". I aim to please, so here they are. # 1. 1987 Buick Grand National. The Grand National was a big hit with the buff magazines in the late '80's. The '84 and earlier versions of the GN and Regal T-Type which had an electronically controlled Rochester Quadrajet Carburator on the Turbo 3.8 were erratic performers at best. Like the ill-fated Turbo Trans-Am of 1980-81-they just couldn't make the cars run and pass emissions with a Turbo and a Carburator. That all changed in 1985 with the debut of Multi-Port Fuel Injection. With MPFI the engineers could program the fuel curve precisely and set the ECM to back up the timing if detonation was detected. An intercooler also helped greatly. Now instead of stumbling and chugging and running high 15 or low 16 second 1/4 mile times, the Fuelie models ripped off blistering low to mid 14 second times. Car and Driver ran a 14.41, Hot Rod ran a 14.30. Since most L98 Corvettes ran 14.50's Buick could lay claim to building the fastest American production car. One tester however-at Englishtown New Jersey ripped off a blistering 13.85. Other magazines and Buick engineers wanted to examine the car and test it themselves. On the first pass it laid down a 13.95. Subsequent passes were a string of 14.01s, 14.03s and the slowest a 14.05. Still a good 3 or 4 tenths quicker ( 3 or 4 car lengths ) than the other magazines, but except for the first pass-no 13 second runs. It was finally ascertained that the car was running a 160 degree thermostat instead of a 195, and had a modified electric fan switch that turned the fan on at 180 degrees instead of 220. Do you think the engine running 40 degrees cooler would net a much cooler, denser fuel charge-which would help the Turbo's performance greatly? Further the car was filled with 104 octane racing gas-which would ensure that the ECM would deliver full timing all the time, rather than retarding it to run on 87 or 91 octane pump gas!!  Think this made a difference?  Lastly-the original tester also admitted that he put wet towels on the intake manifold between runs!! This all explains how this "stock" GN could break into the 13s when all others could only manage mid 14s!!  # 2. 1991 Ford Mustang LX "5.0".  Car Craft boasted about their "Basically Stock" "5.0" Mustang that ripped of a blistering 14.04 second 1/4. Since other magazines ran between 14.72 ( Hot Rod ) and 15.29 ( Road and Track ). This merited investigation. Yes CC's Mustang was "basically stock". Except for a K&N airbox and filter,a Flowmaster "Cat-Back" exhaust system, swapping the 3.08 gears for some 3.73:1s, and swapping the 225/60VR15 Goodyear Gatorbacks for 235/60R15 M&H Drag Radials. So come on guys-the car's stock-except for the intake and exhaust, stiffer gears, and stickier tires!!  I mean if your going to nit-pick.... # 3. 1992 Mitsubishi 3000GT VR4. These swoopy Japanese exotics featured a twin-turbo V6 and all-wheel drive. Their "Controlled Conditons with a professional driver" is almost as audacious as Pontiac swapping the engines in 1964. Most of the buff magazines ran 14.50s with these cars. Mitsubishi claimed a blistering 13.75. This was accomplished by disconnecting the rev limiter, disconnecting the knock sensor, filling the tank with 104 octane gas, and lowering tire pressure to 15 psi. The "professional driver" then dropped the clutch at 6,300 rpm and powershifted at 7,000 ( 500 rpm over the redline ) which grenaded the $5,749 transaxle after 3 runs!!  My neighbor had one of these cars and was totally shocked when my Hurst / Olds blew his doors off.  Not so much when I showed him the "Contolled Conditions".  Like the old saying goes only believe half of what you read and none of what you hear... Mastermind  

Road Test "Ringers" revisited....

Someone asked me the other day why production examples can almost never match the blistering 0-60 and 1/4 mile times of magazine test cars. This guy was upset because two people he knew had new cars and the performance was nowhere near what the magazines claimed. One was a Turbocharged 4-cylinder Mustang. Car and Driver's test mule ripped off a blistering 13.9 second 1/4.  The best his friend's could do was a 14.5. Definitely quick for a 4-banger, but more than 1/2 a second ( about 5 car lengths ) slower than the "Prototype". The other was a Dodge Demon Challenger. The one that has 840 hp and comes from the factory with a trans-brake and drag radials. Chrysler claims a 9.65 second 1/4 mile time. The fastest ever for a production car. This guy's buddy took his to the drags and ran 10.60's. Now that's still ungodly fast-but it's a full second off the manufacturer's claims. Are the manufacturers cheating?  Yes and no. Magazine test mules are tuned flawlessly to "The top of specifiactions". In other words they run as good as they possibly can. Production examples are hit and miss. I worked for Pontiac back in 1983. I remember we had two Trans-Am's on the lot-a black one and a white one. Both had "Cross-Fire" Injected 305 V8s and TH700R4 automatics. The white one would lay 30 feet of rubber on take-off, and lay another 8-10 feet on the 1-2 shift. The black one couldn't spin the wheels at all. Why? I don't know. Anyhow my answer to this guy was this-besides being perfectly tuned, test mules are usually filled with 100 octane gas. This insures that the engine doesn't "ping" under load, and ensures that the ECM doesn't back up the timing to avoid this. Especially on Turbocharged or Supercharged cars-this alone makes a HUGE difference. The car is going to run way better on 100 octane race gas than it will on 87 or 91 octane pump gas!!  The other thing is the test is performed "under controlled conditions with a professional driver."  That means they play with tire pressure, launch technique and shift points. Sometimes it takes them 30 passes to get the best result. A recent example was one of the magazines tested a new Subaru WRX. They listed a blistering 5.4 second 0-60 time and a 13.8 second 1/4. They did disclose that they got this by lowering tire pressure to 25 psi-( factory recommendation is 36 psi, and the tires max is 44 psi ) and popping the clutch at 5,500 rpm!!  Now who drives around in their new $40,000 WRX with 25 psi in the tires ( and low tire pressure light on ) and drops the clutch at 5,500 rpm to jump someone from a light?!  They conceded that with 36 psi in the tires and a reasonable launch-say 3,000 rpm-that the 0-60 time was closer to 6 seconds and the 1/4 mile took 14.3. Still really quick for a 3,800 lb car with a 4-cylinder engine-but not what the readers are led to believe. And sometimes in the interest of selling the cars the manufacturers do cheat. Here's some of my personal favorites. # 1. 1964 Pontiac GTO. After 50 years-Jim Wangers finally admitted what we already knew. Car and Driver's May 1964 test car that ran a blistering 4.6 second 0-60 time and a 13.1 second 1/4 was a ringer. Royal Pontiac had pulled the stock 389 and replaced it with a Blueprinted 421. In addition to the extra cubes it had thin head gaskets to raise compression, loosely adjusted valves with rocker arm lock nuts to rev higher, a mechanical throttle linkage on the Tri-Power ( instead of vacuum ) custom-jetted carbs, and a re-curved distributor. Small wonder that production examples with an assembly line built 389-could only run 14.50s.  # 2. 1969 Plymouth Road Runner 440+6. Chrysler advertised the 440 Six-Pack Road Runner as a 12 second car right off the showroom floor. The ad had a list of mid-high 12 second times they had run during testing. The test mule had a blueprinted 440 with custom-jetted carbs, a custom curved distributor, a 4-speed, a 4.30 geared posi rear end with a pinion snubber, and 28 inch drag slicks. And the "Professional Driver" was Pro Stock Champion Ronnie Sox of "Sox&Martin" fame. Shocker-Hot Rod's production example with a stock engine, 3.54 gears and street tires and a writer driving could only manage a 13.56. That's damn quick-but still nearly a full second off of the advertisements claims!!  # 3. 1973 SD-455 Trans-Am. The "Prototype" Buccaneer Red T/A that ran a blistering 13.54 for Hot Rod and 13.75 for Car and Driver was a ringer. If you look closely at the pictures you'll see the numbers on the Michigan liscence plates. It's the same car. Further-although the Road tests were published in the May and June issues-the tests were done in January. This is relevant because the SD-455 was initially going to be offered in the GTO, the Grand Prix and the Grand Am as well as Trans-Am and Formula Firebirds. "High Performance Cars" magazine made a collossal goof. They named the SD-455 1973 GTO their "Car of the Year". However-the engineers had trouble with connecting rod failure, EGR valve function,and trouble passing emissions with the hot RAIV cam. The cam was swapped for the much milder RAIII cam and hp was down-rated from 310 to 290. The project was almost scrapped. Only the tireless efforts of Herb Adams saved it, and in April 1973 the engine was finally EPA certified in the Firebird line only. That's why only 295 were built-252 T/A's and another 43 Formulas. Another 943 were built in 1974. Anyway-the prototype had the hotter RAIV cam,  an EGR-less 1972 aluminum 455HO / RAIV intake and an open "Shaker" hood scoop. Production examples had the milder RAIII cam, an iron intake with an EGR valve, and the hood scoops were bolted closed because of noise regulations. Other SD-455 cars tested by other magazines in the '73-74 period ran low 14s. Awesome performance for a 3,800 lb car with only 8.4:1 compression; but nowhere near the blistering 13.50s of the "Prototype". No one knows what happened to the prototype. Some people say it was sold to a Pontiac executive, other people say it was crushed. # 4. 1973 Olds 442. Motor Trend had a "1973 Performance Car Preview". The red and silver Cutlass 442 blew the doors off all comers including an SD-455 Trans-Am, a 454 Corvette, a 440 Dodge Charger, a 401 /4-speed AMC Javelin AMX, and a 351CJ Mustang. Olds engineers admitted that "Just for Kicks" they had re-curved the distributor, re-jetted the carb and swapped the stock cam in the 455 for the hot "W30" cam out of the 1970 442. They also put a Hurst shift kit and 2,800 rpm "Shotgun" Torque converter in the TH400 and were running 3.42:1 gears. Shocker-production examples with a stock engine and tranny and 2.73:1 or 3.08:1 gears were substantially slower!!  # 5. 1978 Dodge Li'l Red Express Pickup. I touched on this one in a recent post about one or two year wonders. Car and Driver's "Prototype" blew the doors off both an L82 / 4-speed Corvette and a W72 Trans-Am. However the 360 V8 in the "Prototype" had NASCAR-style "W2" heads,a single-plane aluminum Holley "Street Dominator" intake with a 650 Double-Pumper Holley on it, a hot cam out of the old high-performance 340 V8 and catalyst-free exhaust. Needless to say-production examples with stock heads, a stock cam,an iron intake with an EGR valve and a Carter Thermo-Quad were substantially slower, and their owners shocked when a Corvette or T/A owner showed them their taillights!!  # 6. 1978 Z/28 Camaro. Popular Hot Rodding gushed over their test car that ran blistering ( for 1978 ) 1/4 mile times in the 14.30s. Since Hot Rod' magazine's Z/28  tester ran a 15.21, and Car and Driver's ran a 15.60-this merited further investigation. Dennis and Kyle Mecham of DKM inc had great success with the "Macho T/A". Pontiac Trans-Ams that they hopped up with recurved distributors, re-jetted carbs, Hooker Headers and real dual exhausts. They also had custom graphics. The buff magazines raved, and they couldn't build them fast enough to meet demand. Since they were working out of their dad's Chevrolet / Pontiac dealership in Glendale, Arizona, they got the idea to give the "Macho" treatment to a Z/28 Camaro. Well-PHR's badass test car was the "Macho Z" prototype-it had Hooker headers and dual exhausts, the custom jetted carb, re-curved distributor, open hood scoop-the full "Macho T/A" treatment. That's why it was so much faster than a stocker. The Mecham brothers also did an L82 Corvette that had a Doug Nash 5-speed that was tested by Car Craft that got rave reviews. However-for some reason Chevy dealers weren't as enthusiastic as Pontiac dealers for selling hot-rodded cars, and the "Macho Z" and the L82S never took off like the "Macho T/A's" did. The Macho Z prototype is the only one built. It's in a musclecar museum. No one knows what happened to the L82S prototype. Maybe Dennis Mecham does. There's other cases in the '80's and '90's, but that's another post for another time.....Mastermind

R.I.P. Burt Reynolds....

I was saddened to hear that Burt Reynolds died today at age 82. He was most famous for "Smokey & the Bandit". However before he got piegenholed in dipshit comedies he had done some serious acting. He was excellent in "Deliverance" as the macho leader of a group of businessmen that run afoul of nasty hillbillies. He also played a "Dirty Harry" type detective opposite Catherine Denevue in "Hustle". And who can forget "Gator" McLuskey-the booze runnin, motor gunnin' convict who goes after the corrupt sheriff who killed his brother. Of course "Smokey and the Bandit" out-grossed everything but "Star Wars" in 1977. Somehow he got piegenholed in that "Good Ole Boy" persona-and it served him well-"Hooper" and the Cannonball Run movies were hits. It seemed like anytime he tried to do anything serious-the critics would gripe and say he should stick to lightweight comedies. I thought he did some great work in the '80's-"Sharky's Machine"-him and Clint Eastwood joked-"Dirty Harry" goes to Atlanta".  I loved "Malone" where he played an ex-CIA operative who runs afoul of white supremacists in a small Oregon town. "Heat" where he played a Vegas bodyguard with a gambling problem that has trouble with a mobster's son who brutally beat a hooker friend of his. This was re-made and re-named "Wild Card" with Jason Statham and it was awful. Burt's version is much better. I liked Physical Evidence where he was a cop accused of murdering a suspect. The uber-sexy Theresa Russel was his attorney who lived with spoiled yuppie stockbroker Ted Mc Ginley. Best line ever-Theresa and Burt are arguing about the case and McGinley comes in and interrupts them. Burt asks-"Is this His Gucciness?" Sadly-none of those were big hits and he was stuck doing dumb stuff like "The best little whorehouse in Texas" and "Stroker Ace".  In the '90's he had a hit TV show playing a football coach on the comedy "Evening Shade".  He had a renaissance of sorts playing a Porn Director in "Boogie Nights" and the owner of a Formula 1 team opposite Sylvester Stallone in "Driven". Anyhow-he was a good actor and a nice person and he will be sorely missed. May he rest in Valhalla!!  Mastermind

More on desecrating classics.....

I spoke yesterday about how I'm fine with putting an LS motor and a six-speed into one of the 400,000 Malibus Chevrolet built in 1968 alone. Just don't do it to a numbers-matching SS396 or worse yet-a Yenko!!  But I see it constantly and that's what drives me up the wall. I saw a 1965 GTO with an LS engine and a six-speed automatic in a magazine. ARRRGGGHHH!!!!  This guy couldn't buy a Tempest or LeMans and do that?  I know gearheads like to modify things in the search for extra performance. I'd be fine if this '65 GTO owner had swapped in a Tremec 5-speed to replace the Muncie 4-speed, or a TH350 to replace the 2-speed ST300. I'd be fine if he  swapped the 389 for a 421 or a 455. At least it's still basically a vintage Pontiac hot rod. If you want a new Camaro-go buy one. But don't screw  up a classic that someone else would want to preserve in original, or semi-original condition!!  Some other horrific examples I may have brought up before, but I think are worth re-visiting. # 1. This guy put a 389 Pontiac into a '57 T-Bird. What the hell was he thinking? This offended Ford and GM guys both. I know the old 292 and 312 "Y-Block" V8s are heavy dogs that have the dual attributes of no power and crappy gas mileage. He couldn't swap in a later model 289 / 302 or 351W for an instant power and drivability infusion? Or a if he had to have a big-block-a 390? At least then it would still be all Ford, and people wouldn't be storming his house with torches. # 2. This guy bought a pristine, frame-off restored 1963 Fuel-Injected,Split-Window Corvette Sting Ray and proceeded to gut the interior for a roll cage, replace the IRS with a narrowed Ford 9 Inch, and cut up the body and floor pan for wheel tubs. He then installed a tunnel-rammed 454 backed by a Powerglide with a trans-brake. Because he loved the "Pro Street" look. If you've lived in a cave the last 30 years-back in the late '80's and early 90's building cars that looked like Pro Stock drag racers was all the rage. He couldn't buy one of the millions of '68-82 C3 'Vettes out there and butcher that?  No, it had to be a for real Fuel-Injected Split-Window!!!  # 3. This guy angered both musclecar guys and Import Tuners by destroying not one, but two classics. This genius put the engine and tranny out of a 1998 Toyota Supra Turbo into a 1967 Camaro. He couldn't understand why everyone thought he should be drawn and quartered and have his entrails cut out and burned. # 4. This guy took a 1990 Mustang GT and put a Chevy LS engine in it. Why? Do you know how much trouble that is? And what did he gain?  Not performance. I know guys with "5.0" Mustangs that run in the 10s with 302s. How can he ever sell it? GM guys don't want it; Ford guys damn sure don't want it. This one really left me scratching my head. # 5. This one falls under the more money than brains category. This guy took the drivetrain out of a 1987 Buick Grand National and put it in a 1984 Pontiac Gran Prix. Huh?  Think about it. Even if the GN was totalled-if he rebuilt it and had a salvage title a nice, running '87 Grand National is always worth WAY more than any '84 Gran Prix!!! Further-transferring not only the engine and tranny-but the gas tank and fuel pump and all the wiring to run the electronics on the fuel injected, turbocharged, intercooled GN motor ( Most '84 GP's had  carburated 305 Chevy V8s ) had to be a nightmare. If a badass, ultra-quick '84 GP is your dream car-swapping in a 350 or 383 small-block Chevy would be both cheaper and a lot easier-essentially a bolt-in. The only word I can think of for this one is "Why?"  # 6. The all-time more money than brains champ-except for Jay Leno's rear drive Toronado-is this one. This clown spent $250,000-that's not a typo-I didn't mean 25 grand, I meant a quarter million. That's right-the price of a nice 3-bedroom house anywhere except New York or California-putting the engine and tranny out of 2013 GMC 2500 Turbo Diesel pickup into a 1970 Chevelle!!!  Even if he spent 50K on a pristine restored Chevelle, and 50K on the brand-new diesel pickup, how did he rack up another 100 grand in the cost of the conversion?  And again I ask "Why?"  Who in the hell wants a '70 Chevelle with a diesel truck engine?  It was fast-but he could have easily built a '70 Chevelle with a 720 hp GMPP 572 Rat motor that would have been cooler and faster for a lot less than 250K!!  I've said it before but I think sports car guys and motorcycle guys are smarter. You never see a 1969 Porsche 911S with the engine and tranny out of a 2012 Cayman. You never see a 1967 Jaguar XKE with the drivetrain out of a 2009 XK8, or a 1972 Datsun 240Z with the engine and tranny out of a 2014 370Z!!  You don't see a 1965 Harley Sportster with the engine and tranny out of a 2015 Softail!!  You don't see a 1973 Kawasaki Z1 with the engine and tranny out of 2009 Ninja!!  If you want to bastardize something do it with a base-model no one cares about not something like a '63 Split-Window, Fuel-Injected Sting Ray!!  Or a '57 T-Bird....Mastermind              

Go ahead and do a modern fuelie swap.....On certain cars...

I saw an awesome Mustang for sale on the internet the other day. It was a '68 model and the bodywork was done like the "Eleanor" Mustang that Nicolas Cage drove in the "Gone in 60 Seconds" remake. It had a 5.0 liter Coyote engine with 379 hp and 375 lbs ft of torque backed by a T56 6-speed manual. It had a full Chassisworks suspension,power Rack&Pinion steering and Wildwood 4-wheel disc brakes. It had 17" Shelby Cobra style wheels and fat, ZR-rated tires. The interior was custom with Auto Meter guages, modern a/c, and 2006 GTO seats. It looked and sounded totally badass. If I could swing a home-equity loan, I'd try to buy it. It was that cool. Now people are going to immediately call me a hypocrite and quote many past posts where I howled to the heavens about people doing modern fuelie swaps. I did-but only because  people would do shit like put an LS Chevy motor and a 4L80E into a numbers-matching 1970 Judge!! One of 3,797 ever built. I saw that exact swap in a magazine. Now-this guy couldn't buy a beater Tempest or LeMans and do that? It had to be a numbers-matching RAIII Judge!!!  Even if he "had" to have the Judge "look"-Year One, Ames, the Goat Farm, and other places can easily hook you up with a GTO hood and front bumper, spoilers, stripes etc. Another asshole did that to a one of 1,286 ( actually one of 458 4-speed models ) 455HO '72 Trans-Am!!  Again-he couldn't buy any one of millions of 1970-81 Camaros and Firebirds and use that? If he "Had" to have a Trans-Am-Pontiac built nearly 350,000 T/A's from 1975-79-he couldn't buy one of those and fuck that up?  That's my gripe. It's always a "For-Real L78 / 4-speed SS396 Chevelle". It's not just GM-guys the Mopar and Ford guys are just as bad. It's always a 440 Charger R/T or a Six-Pack Challenger that some asshole stuffs a 6.1 or 6.4 SRT8 Hemi into. You can't buy a 318 model and fuck that up, it's got to be a for-real 383 or 440 Super Bee or GTX!!  I saw a '68 Shelby that someone had desecrated with a Mod Motor and a six-speed!! You couldn't buy one of the 300,000+ 289 models sold that year-it had to be a rare, Shelby GT350!!  That's what I'm saying. If you want to put an LS Motor in a '69 LeMans or a '70 Cutlass-go ahead. No one gives a shit. But don't do it to a numbers-matching Judge, or a W30 442!!  Put a Coyote into a '69 Mustang if you want-just don't use a Boss 302, or a 428 CJ Mach 1!!  Put a 6.4 SRT8 Hemi into a 318 powered '71 Charger if you want. Just don't use a 440 / Six Pack Super Bee!!!  ( For one year only-1971-the Super Bee was based on the Charger instead of the Coronet. 6,000 or so were built. )  So-are we clear on my position now? Take a fuel-injected 302 and the 5-speed out of a '92 "5.0" and stuff it into one of the 559,000 '66 Mustangs built. As long as it's not a Shelby GT350H!!  Anyhow-I just wanted to vent that. Mastermind  

More fun one or two year wonders....

Here's some more one or two year wonders that might be fun to play with. # 1. 1978-79 Dodge Li'l Red Express Pickup. These were a short-bed 2WD stepside pickup with a red and gold paint job, chrome wheels, and vertical chrome semi-style exhaust stacks. They also had an E58 Police Interceptor 360 V8 a 727 Torqueflite and a 3.55:1 rear axle. Mopar freaks like to reference a November 1977 Car and Driver article titled "Double the Double Nickel" where they tested a bunch of cars that could run faster than 110 mph. The Li'l Red Express Prototype blew the doors off an L82 / 4-speed Corvette and a W72 Trans-Am in a drag race. However-the "Prototype" had NASCAR style W-2 heads, a single-plane aluminum Holley "Street Dominator" intake topped by a 650 Double-Pumper Holley, the cam out of the old high-performance 340, and catalyst-free exhausts. Needless to say-Production examples that had standard 318 / 360 heads, and iron intake with EGR and a Carter Thermo-Quad, and a stock cam, were substantially slower!!  They have kind of a "cult" following which drives the prices up a bit, but they are a unique ride.  # 2. 1977 Pontiac Can-Am. Trying to cash in on the Trans-Am's immense popularity the engineers came up with this performance / appearance / handling package for the LeMans. They had a white paint job with "Judge" style stripes, a "ducktail" rear spoiler, a T/A style "Shaker" hood scoop and body-colored Rally II wheels. They also had "Radial Tuned Suspension," a 400 Pontiac V8 ( 403 Olds in California ) backed by a TH400 with a shift kit and a posi rear end. They only lasted one season because GM down-sized all the intermediates for '78. A cool ride if you can find one. # 3. 1982 Corvette. For this one year only you got the C3 bodystyle that had been around since 1968, with the "Cross-Fire" Injected 350 / TH700R4 powertrain that would be in the new for '84 C4 'Vette. "Corvette" and "cheap" don't usually come in the same sentence, but 'Vette collectors snub these in favor of the carburated L48 and L81 and L82 models used through '81.  # 4. 1984 Corvette. This was the first year of the C4 body that would last until 1996. Power was the Cross-Fire Injected 350 backed by a TH700R4 or the 4+3 4-speed manual with overdrive in the top 3 gears. 'Vette collectors snub these in favor of the Tuned Port Injected '85-91 models, so you can buy them cheap. I have seen decent examples on used car lots as low as $2995!!  # 5. 1984-86 Ford Mustang SVO. These had 16" wheels and 50 series tires, a scooped hood, front and rear spoilers, 4-wheel disc brakes, and Recaro seats. Power was a turbocharged 4-banger that made between 175 and 205 hp depending on year. They didn't sell well when new because the "5.0" V8 models were both faster and several thousand dollars cheaper. Dynamite if you can find one. # 6. 1990-93 Chevy SS454. These were a 1/2 ton 2WD pickup with chrome wheels, a sinister monochromatic black paint job and a 454 V8 under the hood. 1990 models had a TH400 and 3.73:1 gears. '91-93 models had a beefed-up 700R4 and 4.10:1 gears. Great for winning burnout contests. # 7. 1992-95 Ford Lightning. Another hot-rod pickup. This one had 17" wheels, a hotted-up 351W V8 and front and rear sway bars. Any of these would make a fun driver / weekend toy. Mastermind      

One or two year wonders that can be fun...

For whatever reason-poor sales, lousy promotion, rising gas prices, whatever- some cool stuff never lasted. But if you run across one now, they might be fun to play with. # 1. 1970-71 Pontiac Tempest T-37, 1972 LeMans GT. Often called  "The Poor Man's GTO".  These were a strippy Tempest coupe with a 350 V8 and a 3-speed stick. However a 4-speed or a TH400 and the 400 and 455 V8s were available. For some odd reason-in 1972 the name was changed to "LeMans GT", but the package was basically the same.  # 2. 1972-73 Mercury Montego GT. Based on the Ford Gran Torino chassis David Pearson won a bunch of NASCAR races for the Wood Brothers in the mid-70's in one of these sleek fastback coupes. Most will have 351C power which certainly isn't a bad thing; 429 models will be pricier. Dynamite if you can find one. # 3. 1973-75 Pontiac Grand Am. Touted to have the performance of a Trans-Am and the luxury of a Gran Prix-Pontiac's attempt at building a BMW didn't quite take off. Performance buyers bought T/A's and luxury buyers bought GPs. However-they were and still are a great performance and handling platform. Based on the LeMans chassis they had wrist-thick front and rear sway bars, ( "Radial Tuned Suspension " ) front disc brakes, and 400 or 455 cubes for power. You could even get a 4-speed with the 400. 34,000 were sold in 1973 alone so their not a moon rock, and any suspension or brake upgrades that fit a Chevelle or LeMans will fit these. # 4. 1974 Pontiac GTO. Often called "The best Nova ever built". This was the year that Pontiac took the GTO name off the "A" body LeMans platform and put it on the "X" body-( read Nova ) platform. They had front and rear sway bars, a T/A style "Shaker" hood scoop and a 350 V8 backed by a 4-speed or a TH350. A 400 or 455 is a bolt-in swap. 7,058 were built. # 5. 1975 Plymouth Road Runner. For this one year only the Road Runner name was put on the Sport Fury platform. 318 models are slugs, but the 360 and 400 versions can be made to run. Over 6,000 were built. # 6. 1971-72 "Heavy Chevy". These were a Malibu coupe with a blacked-out grille, domed "SS" style hood, slotted 14" Rally wheels and special "Heavy Chevy" emblems. Most had 350 power, but the 396 / 402 was available. Rat versions will be pricier. 6,727 were built in '71 and another 3,000 or so in the strike-shortened '72 model year.  # 7. 1983 Camaro Z/28 / Pontiac Trans-Am. For this one year only you could get a "Cross-Fire Injected" 305 with a 4-speed TH700R4. With a 3.06:1 low gear and a 3.23:1 axle ratio these scoot surprisingly good. And the "Cross-Fire Injection" will feed a healthy 350 or 383 with a little tweaking. F-body collectors snub these in favor of the carburated L69 / 5-speed models or the '85-91 LB9 "Tuned Port Injection" models, so they can be bought cheap. # 8. 1980 Z/28 Camaro. For this one year only you could get a 350 V8 with "Cowl-Induction" a vacuum operated hood scoop,a T10 4-speed with a 3.44 1st gear and a 2.28 2nd, with a 3.08:1 posi rear. This combo had better acceleration and more top-speed than the '77-79 models 2.64 low tranny and 3.73 rear cog. Automatics got a TH350 and 3.42:1 gears. Dynamite if you can find one.  For some odd reason in '81 the 350 was only available with a slushbox. ( You could still get the 350 / 4-speed combo in Canada ) If you wanted a 4-speed you got a 305 that wheezed out 145 hp. You could have some fun with these without breaking the bank. Mastermind    

"Lukewarm" August Nights....

"Hot August Nights" is here again, and once again I'm disappointed. It seems to get worse every year. Apparently our greedy city fathers here in Reno-Sparks have finally killed the Golden Goose. I fully understand from a tourist's point of view. Last week any motel room in Reno-Sparks whether it was Motel 6 or Holiday Inn or Circus-Circus or the Peppermill was priced anywhere from $29 to $59. This week the greedy bastards are charging $150-$300 per night. That's just wrong, and short-sighted. So you screw people for an exorbitant rate for a few nights. Does that really improve your bottom line for the year? Does that make people want to come back?  And law enforcement here has always been a joke during HAN. The highway patrol is out on interstate 80 just beyond the state line writing tickets as people come in. The minimum fine now for 1-10 mph over is $195!! In other words your driving or towing your classic car to Hot August Nights, the speed limit is 70 and because your going 75-we greet you with a $200 ticket!!  Which you can pay, or you can spend even more money coming back up here a month from now to go to court and fight it. Neither option is going to leave a good taste in anybody's mouth, or make them want to come back. And is a few days of terrorizing tourists with big tickets for minor violations going to fill the city coffers that much? So much that it's worth people not coming back?  There's always a riot, because the police dept allows gang-bangers from the Bay Area and Sacramento to come up here and cause trouble. If New Orleans P.D. can handle Mardi Gras, why can't we handle HAN? There's homeless drunks panhandling all up and down the strip. You don't see that on the Las Vegas strip!!  And again- there's no events worth going to. In years past we got great entertainment like The Righteous Brothers, ( or Bill Medley by himself after Bobby Hatfield passed away ) Jerry Lee Lewis, The Beach Boys, John Kay of Steppenwolf, Little Richard, The Guess Who, Paul Revere and the Raiders, Gary Puckett and the Union Gap, Fats Domino and Ringo Starr,-you know people who actually had hits in the '50's, '60's and '70's!!  I realize some of them have passed away or retired, but now we don't get ANYBODY. Not even "Rain" or "Rob Hanna" or Johhny Baron. Local guys that had very popular tribute shows to the Beatles and Rod Stewart and Elvis Presley respectively.  They used to have real 1/4 mile drag races at the old Stead airport. No more. Now they have 1/8 or 1/16 of a mile drag races in casino parking lots!!  Really?  Who wants to see cars race for 330 or 660 feet? To 25 or 50 mph??!!!  Puhleeze!!  The really strong big block cars will spin the tires for 330 feet!!!  The old "Top Gun" dragstrip in Fallon is still open and that's only 57 miles from Reno. The Reno-Fernley racetrack is only 29 miles away and has a full dragstrip!!  Have some real drag races and offer some real prize money. But the casino owners and organizers of HAN are too damnded cheap. They'd have to buy insurance and have paramedics standing by if you had real races. We don't want to pay for that!!  I guess that's why the high-rollers with the really cool cars are staying away. The "Show-n-Shines" aren't worth going to. The GM section is all 55-57 Chevys and Camaros and Chevelles, and GTOs and Firebirds. No 427 'Vettes, no old small-block '50's or '60's 'Vettes for that matter, no 409 Impalas, no 421 Catalinas, no Buick Rivieras or GS Skylarks, no Olds 442s or Toronados, no W31 or Rallye 350 Cutlasses, no 396 Novas, no Yenko Cars, no Baldwin-Motion cars. I did see one DKM "Macho T/A". No Cadillac Convertibles.  Very few '50's and '60's Chevy / GMC trucks, very few El Caminos. The Ford section is all Mustangs. Generic Mustangs. No Boss 429s, no Boss 302s, no GT350 or GT500 Shelbys. No Cougar Eliminators-very few Cougars period, no Torinos, no Cyclones, no Marauders, no Thunderbolt Fairlanes. A few T-Birds here and there.  The Mopar section is all B and E bodies. Chargers, Road Runners and Challengers with a few 'Cudas here and there.  No Superbirds or Charger Daytonas, no Max Wedge cars, no A990 Hemi Belvederes, no Hemi Darts. No Super Bees. Hell, I'd jump for joy if I saw a 340 Duster or Demon!!  No "Christine" clones, no '70's Furys done up like cop cars. It's a damn shame because just a few years ago you'd see all that cool stuff driving around town. Now you don't even see them on trailers, because their owners aren't bringing them!!  Why should you spend thousands of dollars to go somewhere and get gouged on a hotel room, get chickenshit tickets, and see lousy entertainment??  I wouldn't. The city fathers and HAN organizers better make some changes quick or it's going to die altogether. Sad. Mastermind      

Just because it's in a movie or on T.V....doesn't mean it can be done...

A lot of people argue about car stunts they see in movies and on T.V.  Like Kurt Russel's evil stuntman Mike said in "Death Proof" even before the advent of CGI there was quite a bit of trickery going on behind the scenes by filmmakers to put exciting sequences on screen. Way back in the '50s-when Robert Mitchum did "Thunder Road"-the rear bumper of his '50 Ford was unbolted and barely attatched with adhesive-so when the "Feds" latched on to it-it would come off easily. They also used hydraulic jacks to flip the cars. "Bullitt"-the grandaddy of them all that still looks good 50 years later because of Steve McQueen's committment to reality had quite a bit of off-screen scrambling to keep it going. Ford had the contract to supply cars to the movie company. McQueen didn't want two Fords in the chase. What are the chances that the cop and the bad guys would both be driving Fords?  Since Chrysler wouldn't or couldn't supply them with cars because of Ford's contract-McQueen and Stunt Coordinator Carey Loftin bought the ominous black Charger off the showroom floor of Tanforan Dodge with their own money. The Charger was a 440 / 4-speed; the Mustangs were all 390 / 4-speeds. Ford guys aren't going to like the next few paragraphs, but it's all true verified by interviews with Steve McQueen, Carey Loftin, Bill Hickman, and Max Balchowsky-the stunt crew of the film. When they first started filming-the Charger would leave the Mustang so badly that they couldn't film it. Steve McQueen was furious.  Max Balchowski-Loftin's ace mechanic hopped up the 'Stang. He added headers and shorty glasspack mufflers, and an Edelbrock Intake and a Douple-Pumper Holley carb along with a Mallory distributor. That's why the car sounds so badass when McQueen is winding the gears. The Charger would still beat it in a drag race-but now only by a car length or two; now McQueen could stay close enough to Hickman so they could film it! The other problem they had was bounding over the hills of San Francisco at speeds up to 115 mph. The Charger-with it's Torsion bar front end and leaf-sprung Dana 60 rear end had no problems other than throwing hubcaps off. If you watch the film closely-the Charger loses 8 hubcaps during the chase!  The Mustang on the other hand kept breaking suspension parts and ripping the shock towers out. Ford had supplied 5 Mustangs. Loftin and Balchowski worked every night stealing parts off the other cars to keep the camera car running! That's why only two of the five are known to exist today. Oddly-none of the Mustangs had a limited-slip rear end. That's why McQueen and Loftin-they drove the Mustang- ( Bill Hickman was the Charger driver ) created such one-tire fires when taking off.  Carey Loftin was also the stunt coordinator on the classic "Vanishing Point". The Challengers were stock except for the one that Loftin jumped the creek in. That one he cranked up the torsion bars to maximum height and added Koni shocks. At the end he towed an engineless Camaro with dynamite and an impact-sensitive switch in the engine bay behind the Challenger toward the bulldozers at 80 mph and used a quick-release cable. In the "Seven-Ups" directed by Philip D'Antoni-who worked on "Bullitt"-he apparently didn't care what cars were used-or perhaps didn't have Steve McQueen's power with the film company-there were two Pontiacs in the chase-a black Grand Ville and a silver Ventura. ( Pontiac's version of the Nova ). The chase was supposedly through upstate New York-but there were a lot of similarities to "Bullitt" including the passenger shooting at the pursuing cop with a shotgun. The scene where the Ventura's hood comes off after getting shot took quite a bit of planning. By the '70's all cars had double hood latches. Even if the hood was popped accidentally or not fully closed-the 2nd latch would keep the hood from flying up and blocking the driver's vision. A safety feature all the manufacturers had. The stunt crew cut off the 2nd latch; that way when the hood was popped-it would fly up. However-it would have just been up; the hinges and the bolts holding it to the hinges would have held. The stunt crew set the hood on the hinges with pins not bolts. That way when the hood flew up at 75 mph or however fast they were going-the pins would slip out and the whole hood would fly off.  It looks cool on-screen. The scene where the Ventura runs under the parked semi took a page from Loftin's playbook. In the film it looks like driver Roy Scheider dove onto the floor a second before the car's roof is torn off.  In reality-no one was driving the Ventura. Bill Hickman was towing it beside him using Loftin's quick-release apparatus-that's how they threw the Charger into the gas station in "Bullitt" as well. Hickman hit the release at the last second and the Ventura spectacularly gets be-headed by the rear of a parked semi. In the first "Smokey and the Bandit" big burnouts were easy. With 400 cubes under the hood the T/A's could smoke the tires at will. However-the 2nd movie was made in 1980-and the mighty 400 Pontiacs were retired. The ill-fated Turbocharged 301s couldn't smoke the tires at all on dry pavement. Burt Reynolds and Hal Needham-the director / stunt coordinator thought it would look silly to have to wet the pavement for smoky burnouts, and that the audience would find it cheesy, which it would have been. The solution? They had ten black Turbo T/A's for filming. Two of them were designated "Burnout" cars. These two were fitted with nitrous. When they wanted tire smoke either Burt Reynolds or the stunt driver would powerbrake the motor, hit the nitrous button and release the brake. Instant burnout. The joys of the smog-laden cars of the early '80's. Just 3 years earlier in '77-the driver only had to pop the clutch on a 4-speed models or just punch the automatics!  The Dukes of Hazzard destroyed something like 216 '68-70 Chargers during it's run. A lot of the "jumps" were done with driverless cars because the stunt guys knew that a driver would be gravely injured or killed by the impact. The stunt crew of "Dukes" had a rivalry with the stunt crew of "Knight Rider". A grudge match was set up. The Dukes stunt crew built a "General Lee"-it was code-named "GL26"-it was the 26th one built, with a tricked-out suspension and a NASTY 440. The Knight Rider crew put a NASTY Traco-Built 460 hp 350 Chevy into one of their '83 T/A's in place of the stock 305. '83 T/As had WS6 suspension and 4-wheel disc brakes from the factory-nothing needed there. Since the T/A in the show was named "KITT"-this one was code-named "Superkitt".  Anyhow the race was held at a local L.A. racetrack-it might have been Fontana-I'll have to double-check-and apparently it was too close to call. No one claimed victory; but they had a lot of fun. A funny side effect-for months to come the stunt drivers of both shows complained loudly that all the other cars didn't have near the power and handling capabilities of GL 26 or "Superkitt"!!  The "Fast&Furious" movies use quite a bit of trickery. Hydraulic jacks were used to make the Charger wheelie in the race with the Supra. The stunt crew put 600 lbs of lead in the rear bumper of the Chevelle to make it wheelie. The Grand National had the body mounted backwards on the frame for the scene where Vin Diesel is chasing the semi in "reverse". The BMW in the "Transporter" was a one-off 733i specially built for the movie by BMW. It had a manual transmission-which production models don't have-their all automatics-and it had all the traction controls and electronic nannys disabled so the stunt drivers could do all those smoky burnouts and sliding around. On that subject-this is why so many action flicks use old musclecars in chase scenes. Because modern cars have so many safety features and electronic nannies-if you hit anything at any rate of speed-the fuel pumps shut off, the airbags trigger, etc-which could certainly ruin a chase scene if it happened at the wrong time!  Anyhow-take what you see on the screen with a grain of salt-and like they used to say on stunt shows-"Don't try this at home". Mastermind          

More on "Butchered" projects...

A lot of people hold the opinion that a classic car that is modified in any way is "Butchered". I disagree. Gearheads have always played with cars and modified them in the never-ending quest for more speed. I saw a great article in a magazine. A guy bought a '57 Chevy. The 2nd owner had made it a race car in 1962, running a 389 Pontiac with a blower, backed by a B&M prepped Hydro-matic. It has the typical '60's "gasser" look-which I love-radiused rear fenders, straight front axle, big-n-little tires.  The car was raced up until the 1990s, always with Pontiac Power. It currently has a 400 Pontiac / TH400 combo. Refreshingly-the current owner said he was going to fix a few things and paint it,and keep running it at the drags, with the Pontiac powertrain!! He was even hunting down a Pontiac Blower setup!  Now that's preserving a piece of hot rodding history, rather spending a gazillion dollars restoring to "Just as it left the factory" status. I salute the guy and wish him luck with his very cool "barn find".  I saw two very badass Chevys at a recent show-n-shine of a local Chevy club. One was a 1965 Corvette. It had radiused and flared fenders covering huge tires on Halibrand mags, the front bumper had been removed,it had chrome sidepipes and it was powered by a nasty 396 that had dual-quads. I loved it. It was totally badass in a very '70s way, yet still looked and sounded cool today. Of course some asshole had to comment on how sad it was that someone "butchered" a classic 'Vette. By flaring the fenders and removing the front bumper?  Puhleeze. I talked to the owner-he said he bought the car in 1984-from the second owner who bought it in 1972. Like I thought-the cool mods were done in the early '70's, and thank god over the years the subsequent owners didn't feel the need to "Make it Right"-i.e.-return it to stock. The other one was a '68 Camaro. It had fat tires on Minilite wheels,flared fenders,front and rear spoilers,a domed fiberglass hood with a 427 'Vette style power bulge, and loud exhaust that exited in front of the rear wheels,giving it a very Trans-Am racer look. It was powered by a nasty 327 backed by a Muncie 4-speed. A nice little touch-it had a 750 Double-Pumper Holley on an Edelbrock "Scorpion" single-plane manifold,and the owner had painted the little cast Scorpion emblem red. It looked cool. It had finned "Mickey Thompson" valve covers-very 70's period correct-and the water pump, the alternator and brackets, and the radiator support were all chrome. The hoses all had the stainless steel braid covering that was popular in the early '80's. It was a very slick-looking car, with the power to back up the image. It reminded me of the Camaro driven by Paul LeMat-( The '32 Ford driver in "American Graffiti ) in "Aloha, Bobby and Rose". Of course some "Just as it left the factory" type had to turn up his nose at it. I don't get that. If you bought a new Mustang G/T or Challenger R/T today-would you leave it totally stock for the next ten years? You might, but chances are better that you would add a K&N air filter, a Flowmaster "Cat-Back" exhaust, a Hurst shifter and maybe some aftermarket wheels. More hardcore types might invest in a computer chip, a cam, some higher per hr flow injectors or even a blower. And 30 years from now-some asshole will gripe how you messed up the car!!  I'm kind of a middle-ground guy on this issue. Yes I think the guy who took a pristine, for-real fuel-injected, '63 Split-Window Corvette, and "Pro-Streeted" it-I mean gutted the interior, put a roll cage in, put 33 inch slicks with wheel tubs on it, and installed a tunnel-rammed 454 back by a powerglide with a trans-brake,ought to be dragged out into the street and shot, and his house burned to the ground. On the other hand an SS396 Chevelle is not "ruined" because it has 17 inch radial tires on aftermarket wheels, halogen headlights, and an HEI Distributor!! See what I'm saying?  A Ford I saw was pretty cool. It was a '63 Falcon. I know-"Ford Falcon" and "Cool" are rarely used in the same sentence, but this one was. It had a Mustang II front clip which gave it rack&pinion steering and front disc brakes. It had a roller-cammed 302 backed by a 5-speed-obviously pirated from an '80's or '90's Mustang. The interior was cool with aftermarket gauges, and Recaro-style seats and a leather-wrapped Grant steering wheel. It was really fast, and looked cool. I know I gripe about modern fuelie swaps all the time-but this wasn't a numbers-matching Boss 302, it was a '63 Falcon!!  Who gives a shit what you do to a '63 Falcon?  Anyway-have a little tolerance-just because a car has some modification that you wouldn't do-doesn't automatically make it a piece of crap!!  Mastermind    

Sometimes something "Butchered" can be a deal....

I talk to a lot of people who pass up screaming deals on great stuff because in their opinion the car is "butchered"-i.e. doesn't have the original engine, or has bodywork or modifications that they don't like. On one hand I agree that anyone who even thinks of cutting up the trunk of a Hemi 'Cuda for wheel tubs, or putting a Coyote into a Shelby GT350H, or an LS engine into a '63 Split-Window Stingray ought to be drawn and quartered and have his entrails cut out and burned. Absolutely. But 99% of these cars I hear about and see are not nearly that offensive. In fact-sometimes the "offenses" are so mild I'm scratching my head and thinking-"Your griping about that??"  Really?  Here's some examples. # 1. 1964 LeMans. I thought this car was way cool. It had a sinister black paint job, American Racing Torq-Thrust mags and radiused rear wheelwells to clear big tires. It also had a snarling 425 Olds V8 backed by a TH400 with a transbrake. The guy had timeslips showing that the car ran 11.30's. In my opinion a cool, badass hot rod. The guy that was considering buying it turned up his nose because of the Olds engine and  the radiused rear 1/4s. Puhleeze. I told him-1st off-"It's a LeMans, not a GTO." "So it's modified." "It's totally badass and runs 11.30s!! I'd buy it and drive it the way it is!! "However-"If you want to make it a GTO clone or just convert it back to Pontiac power-it's pretty easy." "Buick-Olds-Pontiac engines have the same bellhousing bolt pattern, so you don't even need a new trans." All you have to do is find a Pontiac-any Pontiac in a junkyard that has a 400 or 455 under the hood and get everything." "By everything I mean the alternator and power steering brakcets, belt pulleys, etc." "It wouldn't be that hard to do." "I Like the radiused rear wheelwells." "Very period correct, gasser style looking." "But if you hate them-Year One and a zillion other companies sell '64 LeMans / GTO 1/4 panels." Not that hard to remedy." "And the price is dirt-cheap". "If that car had a 421 Pontiac in it, you and all the other people who have passed on it would be fighting with machetes to give him double what he's asking." "Recognize a steal when you see it." Nope. He passed it up, and paid way more for a 326 / ST300 powered '66 model that wasn't as nice because it was "original".  #2. 1965 Cutlass. Same deal-a '65 Cutlass with a straight, rust-free body, and a 454 Chevy backed by a Muncie 4-speed. The car was awesome, and quick. Again-it was an F85 / Cutlass post coupe-not a 442. I'd have drove it the way it was. I told the prospective buyer-"If you really want to convert it back to Olds Power-all you'll need is a Lakewood BOP bellhousing, and a flywheel for a 455 Olds." "Again-go to a junkyard and it doesn't have to be a Cutlass or 442-any big Olds 88 or 98 or Vista Cruiser wagon-get the 455 and all the brackets and accessories.". "You can sell the 454 Chevy and make some money back too."  Nope. No deal. # 3. 1987 Buick Grand National. This guy really needed his ass kicked for passing up this car. It was a for-real GN, with a pumped up Turbocharged 4.5 liter motor. The previous owner had spent a ton of money-and located a 252 inch Buick V6 block. He had Kenne-Bell bore and stroke it, and it was 270 inches. Quite a step up from the stock 231. It had a bigger turbo, ported and polished and o-ringed heads, a special wastegate, a Jacobs ignition that was adjustable from inside the car, a Kenne-Bell prepped TH200R4, and it had radiused and flared rear fenders to clear 275/60R15 drag radials, and Lakewood coil spring traction bars. It ran 10.60s in the 1/4. If Darth Vader or Satan drove a car, this would be it!! If I'd had the money at the time, I'd have bought it!! I even tried to get a quickie home-equity loan to buy it, but it didn't work out.  Did the ass-clown buy it? No!! He paid MORE for a stock one because it wasn't "Butchered".  UGH!!  # 4. 1979 Indy 500 Pace Car Mustang. This one was cool. It was originally a 4-banger model. The seller had bought this one not running. He then took the 205 hp Turbo engine, 5-speed tranny, disc-braked 8.8 rear end, 16" wheels and tires, and Recaro seats out of his totalled '86 SVO Turbo Mustang and put them in the '79 body!!  He drove it for a year or two, and when he got married and had kids decided to sell it and get an SUV. But the car was awesome-it had the cool Pace Car Paint Job and graphics, and the badass SVO powertrain. The propective buyer turned up his nose because it wasn't "original". I was incredulous. "Who in the hell wants an "Original" '79 Mustang??!!" "They were dogs!!" "You'd rather have a normally aspirated 2.3 liter 4-banger that wheezes out 85 hp, or a 2bbl 302 that wheezes out 120 backed by that crappy wide-ratio manual 3-speed with an overdrive that Ford gratuitously called a 4-speed or a C4 slushbox-I mean that's the two powertrain options for '79 Pace Cars-instead of the state of the art 205 hp, high-winding SVO / Close-ratio 5-speed setup." "Yes."  Like Ron White says-"You can't fix stupid."  # 5. 1974 Camaro. This car had Minilite wheels on it, and a rip-snorting 396 Rat Motor. It had a two-tone paint job like the Baldwin-Motion cars, although it wasn't a Motion car. It was however, a great looking Camaro that really ripped. It would smoke the tires as long as you wanted to stay on the throttle. The prospective buyer pooh-poohed it because it had an aftermarket flip-up sunroof.  I'm not kidding. That was the major objection. These stupid little flip up sunroofs were immensely popular in the '70's and '80's. I don't particularly like them either-but their are a lot of '70's and '80s Camaros, Chevelles, Firebirds, Mustangs and Dusters, etc that have them, unfortunately. You could live with it, if it doesn't leak-or check with a reputable body shop about patching the roof-if you really love the car otherwise and it's cheap enough. Anyhow-I didn't see any of these previous owner mods as irreversible or a deal-breaker but these other people did. You have to decide for yourself on the individual car. But think hard before you blythely dismiss something that may be deal of the century because of one little thing.  Mastermind                    

Sometimes you just have to trust people...And your gut...

I've had some people agonizing over whether or not to buy really nice cars because they can't fully document them. If your buying a Ford you can send in the vin number and get a Marti Report that will tell you everything. If your buying a Pontiac-you can contact Pontiac Historical Services and get a copy of the original window sticker. Other stuff can be harder to chase down. For example for the entire time they existed-1964-87-El Camino sales weren't tracked separately. They were lumped in with Chevelle / Malibu sales. So if your trying to document an LS6 El Camino SS-or an LS5, or L34 or L35 for that matter-it's going to be hard if the seller doesn't have a build sheet or window sticker. And who does on a 50 year old car that's had 10 or more owners?  You'll just have look at the car carefully. And sometimes hi-performance models were options on the base car. In 1964 the GTO package and the 442 package were options on the LeMans / Tempest and Cutlass / F85.  From 1965 to 1971 the GTO and 442 were separate models. In 1972 they reverted to option status. So if the vin number says your 1972 GTO / 442 is a LeMans / Cutlass-don't panic. Chances are the car's not a "fake". For example-the Z/28 package has always been an option on the Camaro-even in the glory days-1967-72. The Super Bee package was an option on the Coronet, except for 1971-when they based it on the Charger. However-the Road Runner was always a separate model from 1968-72. Most premium GM models built from 1967 on have front disc brakes. I say most-I had a '68 SS396 El Camino that had 4-wheel drum brakes. But for the most part SS Chevelles, GTOs,442s, etc-will have front disc brakes.  Not so with Mopar stuff. I have seen 440 GTX's and Chargers and Road Runners and Super Bees with 4-wheel drum brakes. I saw a 440 / Six-Pack Super Bee once that had drum brakes, and was original and documented. Now who ordered a 4,000 lb car with a 390 hp engine, and didn't get power disc brakes??  There's other little tells to look for. For example-if your considering a 340 Duster-remember the 340 package included an 8 3/4 rear end-an upgrade from the slant-six / 318 models 8 1/4 rear. If it's an automatic 340 models got a 727 Torqueflite; six-cylinder and 318 models got a 904. With GM stuff for the most part big-block cars got TH400s, small-block cars got TH350s. For the most part. However I know for a fact that 350HO Firebirds and LeMans models had TH400s. Corvettes from 1968-72 even 327 and 350 base models got TH400s. Conversely-1975 and later Formula Firebirds and Trans-Ams-even 400 models got TH350s. Partly because the engines weren't as powerful as the older models, but mostly for Catalytic Converter clearance!!  As for GM manuals-except for Z/28 Camaros and W31 Cutlasses-which had M21 or M22 Muncies-small-block cars usually had Saginaw 4-speeds. A lot of the big-block cars 396 Chevelles, 400 GTOs and Firebirds, 400 442s-had M20 Muncie 4-speeds which was considered a wide-ratio and had a 2.52:1 low gear. The M21 and M22 were close-ratios and had a 2.20:1 low gear, and for the most part were used behind Ram Air III and IV Pontiacs,as well as 455HOs, W30 Oldsmobiles, and L78 396s and 427 and 454 Chevys. And a posi was an extra-cost option on most models. My best friend in high school had a 1970 SS396 Chevelle. It was an L34-350 hp model. It had front disc brakes and the cowl induction hood and rally stripes. Yet it had no console, no tachometer and a 3.31:1 open rear end. It did great one-tire burnouts!!  You have to remember that back in the '60's and '70's you could order almost anything you wanted on any model. Their rare-but I have seen Gran Prix's and Monte Carlos with 4-speeds from the factory. Bucket seats were optional on most models. So it's very likely that you will find a 383 Road Runner or 396 Chevelle with bench seats and a column shifter!! ( If it's an automatic ). While there's a lot of strippy Mustangs out there-most Cougars from 1967-73 are going to have cool options like front disc brakes, upgraded interiors, factory A/C, and larger engines. Most non-Mach 1 Mustangs have 289 / 302 motivation. Almost every Cougar I've ever seen has 351W, 351C, or even 390 motivation. The point I'm making is do some research and have common sense. A lifelong Pontiac enthusiast-I've had a guy try to sell me a '70 "Trans-Am" that had a wood dash and no tach and a 350 V8. All 1970 and later T/A's had the brushed aluminum dash panel and full instrumentation-and the standard engine was always 400 cubes, except for '71-73 which all had 455s. This was obvioulsy a base-model or Formula 350 Firebird that he'd put T/A body trim on!!  The same thing-another guy tried to sell me a '68 "GTO" convertible that had a 350 and a 2-speed ST300 trans. Obviously it was a gussied up LeMans. 1968 GTOs all had 400 cubes standard, and if they were automatics, they were TH400s!!  So be careful, and sometimes you have to trust that the seller is on the level.  Mastermind    

More classic flicks that didn't get sequels...or shouldn't have

Part of the problem with doing follow-ups to cult classics goes back to the writer's vision. Back in the '70's everything was existential, and you had to be punished for your misdeeds. How could they do a sequel to "Vanishing Point" when Kowalski went out in a blaze of glory at the end?  Ditto for "Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry". The death crash with the train was used in the opening credits of "The Fall Guy"-the hit series with Lee Majors as a stuntman / bounty hunter for years. I wish they'd have went a different direction. What if Vic Morrow's obsessed sheriff caught them and sent them to prison?  Mary could have lied and said they kidnapped and raped her and walked away scot-free. She could have even took the money from the robbery and hidden it.  After a few years in jail Larry and his mechanic could either escape or get paroled. And now they'll seek out Mary to get their money back. She can be living the good life-maybe even have a husband and a kid. And now her past has caught up with her. She can beg for her husband and kids safety and offer to get them the money. Like in the first one-"Mary"-the smokin' hot Susan George-could have spent a lot of the movie scantily clad, and since they don't trust her maybe even drugged and / or bound and gagged. She has to find a way to get away from them or kill them, because she's pretty sure once they get the money they'll kill her. Vic Morrow's obsessed sheriff could be on their trail again-out of his jurisdiction. Maybe Mary even contacted him in the hopes that he'll save her. That would have been a great crime / revenge thriller-except they killed everybody at the end of the first one!  Another one that had room for a sequel if they hadn't killed the sheriff at the end was the "California Kid". If you've seen the movie Martin Sheen's character had a poignant, almost romance with Michelle Phillips who was a lonely waitress working in the town's only diner and living in a trailer behind it. What if she decided to go with him when he left town? He could still outrun the Sheriff on the deadly road. But instead of the sheriff crashing to his death he could put out an apb saying that the "Kid" kidnapped the waitress against her will. The maniacal sheriff-played with glee by Vic Morrow again-could lead the pursuit across state lines. Plenty of opportunity for car chases and "Getaway" style action as Sheen and Phillips try to prove their guilty of nothing but driving too fast. That would have been cool. Or how about "Thunder Road?"  Robert Mitchum's character went out in a blaze of glory-are you seeing a recurring theme here? But his younger brother who he was trying to keep out of the moonshine business could take over. That would have worked. Of course there's others that they definitely shouldn't have tried or thankfully didn't. They tried to do a 3rd "Bandit" movie without Burt Reynolds. It was awful, and it flopped. I thought the "Dukes of Hazzard" movie sucked. The TV show was definitely done tongue-in-cheek, but it was cute. John Schneider and Tom Wopat had good chemistry as good ol' boys living on the edge, Catherine Bach was smokin' hot as cousin Daisy and Denver Pyle was cool as uncle Jesse-a semi-retired moonshiner. The now deceased Sorrell Booke was hilarious as the scheming Boss Hogg, and James Best was likable as the Barney Fife like sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane. And like Kurt Russel's evil stuntman Mike said in Death Proof-the stunts were real, no CGI. They totalled something like 216 '68-70 Chargers during the series run. The casting in the movie was awful. Stifler as Bo Duke??!!!  I can't help it, poor Sean William Scott will always be the horn-dog dipshit with the sexy whory mom from the "American Pie" movies. Johnny Knoxville as Luke?  Again-all I see is "Jackass". Jessica Simpson worked out hard for months to get her body bikini-ready-but her phony southern accent was like fingernails on a blackboard, and her wooden acting made Donna Douglas on the Beverly Hillbillies look like an Oscar winner. Burt Reynolds must have really been in tax trouble to lower himself to play Boss Hogg, and ditto for Willie Nelson doing uncle Jesse-who tee-hee-smokes weed. I can't remember the plot. Thank god it didn't gross enough for the greedy studio to want to do another one. The worst one though was "Drive". This starred Ryan Gosling as a mechanic / race car driver / getaway driver. What was maddening to me is his wooden acting was so bad-he showed no emotion whatsoever. Charles Bronson looks like Tom Hanks compared to this guy. And it's never explained why he wants to be a criminal and risk prison and death when it appears he makes a decent living as a mechanic / auto racer. Even the action sucked. Any others I missed?  Mastermind