Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Great musclecar scenes that don't make the transition from book to screen....

Besides being a gearhead I am an avid reader and a published author-( "Men of Steel"- available through Amazon.com or Barnes&Noble ) and a movie buff. As such I see a lot of movies and read a lot of books that movies are based on. In reading some of these books, a lot of the colorful characters drive musclecars, and for whatever reason, the characters or the cars never make it to the screen, and I think the film makers are making a mistake not bringing these scenes or characters to life. Here's some notable instances where I think directors really dropped the ball. # 1. "Hannibal" In this sequel to "Silence of the Lambs" Author Thomas Harris re-introduces us to a now ten-years older, much tougher and much cuntier Clarice Starling, who is an FBI combat pistol champion that packs a cocked and locked .45 and drives a thundering Roush-Racing prepped 5.0 Mustang. She's still chasing Hannibal Lecter, in addition to her other cases. In the book, she smokes the tires a lot, and challenges a suspect with a Porsche to a drag race. Hannibal also breaks into the car and smells the seats and the steering wheel to get her scent while she's jogging in the park, and he drives the big 'Stang "5,800 rpm in every gear" as he leads the police, the FBI, and Mason Verger's mercenary's on a chase through D.C with the wounded, and drugged Starling passed out and bleeding in the passenger seat. If you saw the overlong movie, you know these unfilmed scenes would have added to the film's tension immensely. There's also an unfilmed scene where Dr. Lecter gives a tattooed, leather-clad biker $100 to haul him away from a murder he just committed. Hannibal the Cannibal pretending to be gay and riding bitch on a Ducati V-twin through the very cops that are looking for him?  How cool is that?  # 2. "The Dark Half". Steven King's twisted tale of a Dead twin come back to life to wreak havoc on the living brother is chilling and exciting. I see where king wanted to go, but he didn't have the automotive knowledge, and no one helped him. The killer drives a jet-black 1966 Olds Toronado, which is badass and unique enough. When he says it has a lot of "Blasting power" under the hood-he's right-425 cubes of Olds muscle. But then he screws up twice and talks about "Macho Man "Stark" smoking the rear tires ( All Toronados are front-wheel drive ) and popping the clutch and powershifting the Hurst 4-speed. ( All Toronados are automatics ). He should have went with a Pontiac Gran Prix-any year from 1963-69 would have been ok-but 1967-68 with the hidden headlights and fastback body would have fit almost verbatim his poetic descripion of the Toro's bodacious bod, and you could get a 428 inch V8 in a GP with 390 hp, and a Hurst-shifted 4-speed, and GP's are of course, rear-wheel drive. Sadly, the producers stuck with a Toronado, and it's only seen parked in a dream sequence-no tire-smoke or automotive shenanigans at all. From the mind that brought us "Christine" I was disappointed.  # 3. "Mr. Majestyk" this Elmore Leonard penned story starred a pre-"Death Wish" Charles Bronson- ( when he still actually acted and wasn't just Bronson playing Bronson.)  The chase made our list of best movie chases, and the early "Built Ford Tough" TV pickup ads. As usual with Leonard's stories-his original and badass characters get watered-down. For example Cowboy Bobby Copas-the thug that starts a fight with Majestyk to open the film drives a 1970 440 Charger in the book, and is much more sinister and connected than the pussy wanna-be they portray in the film . And "Wiley"- Hitman Frank Renda's girlfriend / partner in crime-in the book she's an ex-Vegas hooker with big tits, big hair,and a genius I.Q. that books hits for him and handles his money and doesn't mind being kept barefoot in a bikini at all times at his hotels or hunting lodges and likes her hair pulled and being spanked when she's not in public, and drives a Pearl-White Thunderbird and carries a pearl handled Colt Diamondback in her purse. In the movie she's played by anorexic Lee Purcell who wears her hair in a bun, no makeup, and pants, boots, and about 10 sweaters most of the time. And she's not a criminal, and drives a 4-banger Mustang II, and doesn't carry a gun, and apparently likes no sex at all. Big difference. And Vince Majestyk- Bronson's Charachter-was way more "Rambo" with PTSD than farmer in the book, kicked a lot more ass,-including Renda's more than once- and forces Wiley-right under Renda and his heavily armed henchmen's noses to walk through the woods barefoot in the bikini with her hands tied behind her back and a fat gag in her mouth so his his smokin' hot Mexican Union Rep / Girlfriend ( Played by Linda Cristal ) can stuff her in the truck ( still bound, gagged, and barefoot ) and turn her over to the police and delay the cops so he can kill Renda and his men without interference.  In the movie Bronson let's the fully dressed and un-bound Purcell walk about 50 feet to the truck and trusts her to drive herself to the nearest police station, and gets a bigger attack of nice, and doesn't kill Cowboy Bobby Copas who started it all. What a guy. I like Elmore Leonard's vision better.      # 4. "The Warriors"  Sol Yurick's 1965 classic about warring New York street gangs was actually made into a pretty good 1978 movie and launched the careers of Micheal Beck, James Remar and director Walter Hill. However the movie throws in a cutesy romance for Micheal Becks character and there's the obligatory happy ending. In the book, there's a spectacular (even reading it, it's exciting ) chase between the Warriors in a stolen Oldsmobile and another gang in a stolen Cadillac, and all but three of the Warriors die in a blaze of glory. Not the same. Except for "Rosemary's Baby" I've never seen Hollywood stick to the book, and the films almost always fall short for anyone who's read the books. Let me know if I missed any that should be mentioned. Mastermind             

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