Friday, February 22, 2013

Why can't these idiots butcher junk that's plentiful?

I talked the other day about the PHR cover cars that I hated-pristine '73 Trans-Ams with LS motors and Detroit Speed and Engineering subframes. I know there's a lot of people with more money than brains out there, but I still don't understand why they have to cut up rare, numbers-matching, valuable musclecar. Pontiac built roughly 320,000 Trans-Ams from 1976-79 ( Smokey and the Bandit was a great sales tool ) . Why couldn't  their cover car owners desecrate one of those instead of cutting up a pristine, one of 4,806 1973 T/A's?  Or one of the literally millions of other beater 1970-81 Camaros and Firebirds out there? Hot Rod magazine did it with a "For real, numbers-matching, four-speed SS396 1968 Chevelle. Why? If they wanted to build an LS engined '68 Chevelle-Chevrolet built over 400,000 Malibus that year alone. If you figure that '69-72 was basically the same bodystyle-they had a couple million examples to choose from-they didn't have to cut up an original SS396. Ditto for another car featured in PHR-a guy put an LS7 'Vette motor and a BW six-speed in a-you guessed it a-numbers-matching 1970 GTO Judge!! Again-he couldn't find a two-door '68-72 Malibu to buy? Even if he liked the Pontiac bodystyle better-He couldn't buy one of the millions of beater '68-72 LeMans or Tempest models out there? You HAD to ruin one of the few( Only 3,797 were orignally built ) documented '70 Judges left in the world? I could never understand cross-breeding even back in the day. I remember way back in 1973 reading about a guy that bought a brand-new LS6 454 Chevy crate engine-( GM Performance Parts sold them until 1991 ) and stuffed it into his 1972 Trans-Am. He evn painted the block and heads Pontiac blue, and put "455HO" stickers on the valve covers. My question at that time-was "Why?" First off-'72 T/A's had the excellent 455HO as standard equipment. These had four-bolt mains, forged pistons, Ram Air IV heads, an RAIV aluminum intake and the milder "068" cam. They were an awesome street engine and they dominate stock drag-racing classes to this day. If he wanted more power-he could have added headers and an RAIV cam and easily made the same power as a crate LS6, without ruining the value of the car and having to change the bellhousing, motor mounts, accesories, etc. It seemed to me to be a lateral move at best. I though it was a collossal waste of time and money back then. Because-at that time-Baldwin-Motion and Nickey Chevrolet would both sell you a brand-new Camaro with either an L88 427 or an LS6 454, a Rock-Crusher 4-speed or a TH400 with a high-stall converter and a shift kit, and a 3.73, 4.11 or 4.56 posi rear end! If the guy wanted an ultra-badass Rat-Motored F-body-why didn't he just trade the T/A in on one of those? You have to remember that during the gas crisis of the mid- late '70s musclccars were the proverbial dime a dozen. My buddy bought a pristine, 4-speed 1970 SS396 Chevelle for $1,300 in 1977. I bought my RAIII, 4-speed '69 Judge for $2500 in 1978, after passing up a '69 Hemi Road Runner for $3000!! Two other friends bought a '70 SS396 / TH400 Chevelle and '70 400, 4-speed Formula Firebird the same week and they both paid the same price-$1500!! I went with a friend to buy a rough-but running, '70 383, 4-speed Challenger that the guy was asking $800 for, and while my buddy and another guy were arguing over the price, a third guy came up, paid the owner the $800 in cash and drove the car away while my moron buddy and the other idiot he was arguing with stood there slack-jawed and gaping in horror!! That was all those car were worth back then, so it was really stupid to cut something up or swap engines because it was usually easier and cheaper  to just buy another car with the equipment you wanted! Getting back to the present-I just don't get the fascination and demi-God worship of these GM LS engines. Yes, I understand they are the wave of the future-just like the Small-block Chevy supplanted the Flathead Ford as "The" hot rod engine to have back in the late '50's and early '60's. I understand that. And ten years from now when theirs millions of Chevy and GMC trucks in junkyards and you can buy them for nothing, yes, they'll be a quick power injection into just about anything. But right now, people are paying 10, 15 or even 20 thousand dollars for these things. The one that really got me was the guy that put one in a 1990 Mustang GT. It now has zero resale value. Ford guys don't want it, GM guys don't want it, and the clueless "Joe Average" is going to go "Who wants a Mustang with a Chevy engine in it?" And, I wonder how he came up with this brilliant Idea? I mean there's more speed equipment out there for Fox-bodied Mustangs than there is for anything else on the planet. "Gee, I'll spend triple the money and double the time it would take to build a badass 302 or 347 Ford engine and put in a Chevy that won't run any faster in the end." "Won't that be cool?" And I really don't understand desecrating the old musclecars. You buy an old car because it's totally different from what's new. If you were a gun collector would you would buy a WWII vintage Colt .45 and put laser sights on it? If you were a Harley-Davidson collector would you buy a '47 Knuckelhead or a '57 Panhead or a 1965 Sporster and put a fuel-injected engine and six-speed belt-drive tranny out of a 2010 Softtail in it?  If you want a new fuel-injected Camaro, Challenger or Mustang then go down to your local Chevy, Ford or Dodge dealer and buy one. But leave the rare, vintage iron for those of us that appreciate it. Mastermind                                 

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