Some advice for Quentin Tarantino.....

Read on an internet movie news site that Quentin Tarantino was thinking of doing a re-make of  "White Lightning." I don't think that's a good idea-for many reasons and I'll list them here. I'll also give my opinion on what would possibly work if you did do it. # 1. It's hard to top a classic flick with a legendary actor. Anyone who says that the "True Grit" remake with Jeff Bridges was better than the original with John Wayne either didn't see the original or is a moron. The Duke's Rooster Cogburn was a hard-drinking, ass-kicking, tough-but-fair Marshal in a tough, lawless territory. Jeff Bridges' Rooster looked and acted like a homeless alcoholic bum- constantly being passed out drunk,Falling off the horse etc.  Ditto for "The Mechanic". I personally like Jason Statham-but it was his usual "I'm a badass that you better not mess with" persona that's been overdone through all the "Transporter" movies,2 "Expendables" flicks and now recently "Homefront". His cliche' portrayal of a hitman couldn't touch Charles Bronson's tortured loner who suffered from migraine headaches and insomnia and was so lonely that he paid expensive hookers to write him love letters and took the reckless son of one his victims under his wing.# 2. You can't do the car stunts with modern cars-the airbags will trigger, the MacPherson struts will break and come through the fenders, etc. And if you do it CGI-it looks like shit-QT himself  had Kurt Russell say it in "Death Proof"-CGI can't top "Vanishing Point" or "Bullitt" or "Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry." Great men doing great things with great cars. # 3. Especially now with Marijuana legalized in some states-no one cares about booze. # 4. It's hard to match an all-star cast. Ned Beatty-who played the meek businessman that got sodomized by the hillbillys in "Deliverance"-was scary as hell as corrupt Sheriff J.C Connors-I think even more Southern-fried bad than Strother Martin in "Cool Hand Luke" ( "What we have here is a failure to communicate")That shows range as an actor. Matt Clark was tragic as the good ol' boy mechanic who'd been to prison and was forced between a rock and a hard place by Gator and the Feds. "Five years in the federal pen is no picnic, but J.C. Connors can put me under." "You put me on that stand, I'm gonna lie." "I have to." So was Diane Ladd as his live in girlfriend. At his funeral she cries to Bo Hopkins-"He's not legally divorced." "His wife in Memphis is gonna get every cent of that insurance money!!" Bo Hopkins was perfect as an evil redneck career criminal who only cared about himself, as was R.G Armstrong as the Gangster that owned the Sheriff's department. And Jennifer Billingsley-her dark brown roots showing in her bleach-blond hair-barefoot in that tight, flowery minidress the whole movie-was sexy as hell. And even Mr foot fetish himself-QT-can't top Director William Norton's shot of her kneeling at the edge of the dock by a river and feeding scrambled eggs to a skinny-dipping Burt Reynolds who swims around the the other side of the dock. As he does-the camera is inches from her legs and as she turns to talk to Burt-there's a slow panning shot of her VERY dirty soles.Then she takes the dress off and jumps in the water to have sex with Burt-while Bo Hopkins-her supposed boyfriend-sleeps in house maybe a hundred yards up the dirt road. Many have tried in other movies-but no actress has been able to top Billinsley's  "Shake-a-Puddin"-the quintessential southern trailer park slut that men die and kill for.  If Tarantino does attempt it-here's how he can avoid it being a major flop and make it a hit, even if you can't top the original. # 1. Time Period. He's got to set it in the 1960s. The south was very corrupt then. Buford Pusser's life story illustrates that. If anyone can-QT can touch on the civil rights struggles, the corruption and the Viet Nam War-which Gators much younger brother who was in college was protesting when he was murdered by J. C. Connors. This solves problem # 2. He can use '60's Musclecars-which with their heavy frames and suspensions can do all the stunts-jumping, and smashing into other cars etc-without falling to pieces, electric fuel pumps shutting off, airbags triggering, etc. He needs to take his own advice from "Death Proof" and do the car chases "Old School"-no CGI, no speeding up the camera-guys going 115 mph like in "Bullitt" That's why it still looks real today no matter how many times they pass the same VW.  # 3. Don't do a shot-by-shot remake with the same screenplay. Gus Van Sant tried that with the "Psycho" re-boot a few years ago and it failed miserably. The basic storyline can be used, but perhaps Gator can be an ex-Green Beret Viet Nam vet who went to prison after coming home from the war and running 'Moonshine for his father. The younger brother can maybe be a Civil-Rights worker that's killed by the corrupt sheriff. "Big Bear" can be running hookers and illegal gambling joints and drugs as well as whiskey. Maybe he can even  show the early friendship between Gator and "Bama McCall-the villian in "Gator"-( The White Lightning sequel that wasn't nearly as good.)  # 4. The cast. This is crucial. Gator needs to be a hillbilly. This leaves out Boston-born and raised Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, and Mark Wahlberg, as well as surfer dude Matthew McConaughey. Also disqualifies Brit Jason Statham, Aussie Russel Crowe, and half-black Vin Diesel and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. Brad Pitt would be a good choice-he's from Missouri and he's brilliantly played evil crackers before-in "Thelma and Louise" and "Kalifornia". Or maybe he could think outside the box. Kid Rock has dabbled in acting and would be a great "Gator." So would Country Singer Toby Keith-he's 6' 4" and once played defensive end for the University of Oklahoma and he's dabbled in acting. "Shake-A-Puddin" has to be Gators age-mid to late 30's or at least look it. This leaves out current early 20s "It" girls Jennifer Lawrence, Scarlett Johanssen and Kristen Stewart. She has to be a white, hillbilly looking blonde bombshell. That nixes Eva Mendes, Eva Longoria, Salma Hayek, Beyonce, and other ethnic beauties. First choice-Pamela Anderson. She'd be perfect. Others who could do it would be Charlize Theron, Tricia Helfer-( "Dark Blue", Charlie's threesome fantasy girl on "Two and a Half Men", the current "Killer Women".) Or Connie Britton-( Friday Night Lights, "Nashville" ). Or think outside the box-how about Faith Hill?. J.C. Connors-you have a lot of good choices here. Don Johnson-who's from Missouri and was brilliant as a plantation owner in Django Unchained would be great. Tommy Lee Jones would be good. Or how about Burt himself? That would be a bold twist. I know QT likes to cast black actors in unconventional roles-What about Idris Elba or retired football star Ray Lewis in the Bo Hopkins role? How about Kurt Russel or Sam Elliot as "Big Bear?"  It could be done very well with the right cast and director and if anyone can do it it's QT. But lately he's been phoning in his work and preaching to the choir-yes if you've seen Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction and Jackie Brown and From Dusk till Dawn-and your already a fan- you get the little inside jokes,the foot fetish shots of Rosario Dawson,Uma Thurman and Salma Hayek,the arcane references to cult action movies etc. But if you've never seen his other work-some of this leaves a viewer scratching his head and going "What was that for?"  Hopefully if he attempts it-he'll do it with the brilliance of "Dogs" or Pulp Fiction. Anyone else want to weigh in on this? Mastermind