If Hollywood wants to re-do classic action flicks....Here's a few that might fly.....

Got a lot of feedback about the proposed "White Lightning" remake. I don't know why Hollywood doesn't go with original Ideas. If you want to do a story about a Badass San Francisco detective-it doesn't have to be "Dirty Harry" or "Frank Bullitt." But, since remakes seem to be all the rage-here's a few that could be done and their storylines wouldn't seem dated. # 1. "Mr Majestyk" This classic Elmore Leonard revenge tale along with "Death Wish" the same year made Charles Bronson an international star. Vince Majestyk was a Viet Nam vet who bought a watermelon farm and was trying to make a living. After kicking the shit out of a hustler that was trying to strong-arm him he ends up in jail, where he runs afoul of Mafia hitman Frank Renda. Renda tries to ruin his business and breaks his best friend's legs. When Majestyk fights back-the mobster realizes he may have bit off more than he can chew. The chase was used in Ford truck ads for years. All they'd have to do is say Majestyk was an Iraq or Afghanistan vet, and change the dollar amounts. Otherwise the story would fly just the way it is. # 2. "I, The Jury". This classic Mickey Spillane scorcher was done pretty well in 1982 with a young Armand Assante as Mike Hammer. But that was more than 30 years ago and not many people remember it. But it's a great story. P.I. Mike Hammer's best friend is murdered. The cops think it's a robbery gone wrong. Hammer doesn't. He finds out his pal was seeing a psychologist about his PTSD and impotence. He then uncovers that the doctor is helping some mercenaries conduct mind-control experiments on some of her patients at her supposed "Sex Clinic", and that his pal had uncovered the same thing-which is why he was killed. Naturally-Hammer burns the whole operation down. It was written in 1947 and Mike Hammer was a decorated WWII vet turned P.I. Again-just change the dollar amounts and the war to post-9/11/ 2001. Of all of Spillane's work this one is still the best, and it could be a scorcher. # 3. "Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry". This one is always lumped in with "Car Chase" movies-but it's not low-brow entertainment like "Smokey and the Bandit" or "Gone in 60 Seconds." Yes there's a lot of automotive action first in a '66 Impala, and later in the '69 Charger. But there's also a pretty damn good robbery disguised as a kidnapping plot, that would still fly today-especially with throwaway cell phones and such. Again-change the dollar amounts and go to town. # 4. "The Driver". This 1978 cult classic had Ryan O' Neal and Bruce Dern at their tough-guy best-and Quentin Tarantino says it's one of his favorites. Simple story that would still fly today. The "Driver" is a getaway driver for hire-he drives for bank robbers, drug dealers, whatever-and gets paid big bucks for eluding the cops. He's never been caught. The cop is obsessed with catching him and makes a deal with some gangsters to set up the driver. It goes bad, and the driver's girlfriend is killed and he goes for revenge....This one would work because he could only be hired through email, and only have throwaway phones, etc. Again-just change the dollar amounts. # 5. "A Small Town in Texas". Texas football hero who just got out of prison on drug charges comes home to his girlfriend and kid he's never seen. Except the sheriff who railroaded him to jail-has been seeing his girl and doesn't want to lose her to the returning hero. So the corrupt Sheriff tries to set him up on drug charges again. The football hero-after finding out the sheriff has killed his best friend-decides to kill the sheriff. As long they do the football player more Bobby Layne or Joe Namath than Tim Tebow, they should be all right with this lean, mean revenge tale. Just a thought. Mastermind    

Some advice for Quentin Tarantino.....

Read on an internet movie news site that Quentin Tarantino was thinking of doing a re-make of  "White Lightning." I don't think that's a good idea-for many reasons and I'll list them here. I'll also give my opinion on what would possibly work if you did do it. # 1. It's hard to top a classic flick with a legendary actor. Anyone who says that the "True Grit" remake with Jeff Bridges was better than the original with John Wayne either didn't see the original or is a moron. The Duke's Rooster Cogburn was a hard-drinking, ass-kicking, tough-but-fair Marshal in a tough, lawless territory. Jeff Bridges' Rooster looked and acted like a homeless alcoholic bum- constantly being passed out drunk,Falling off the horse etc.  Ditto for "The Mechanic". I personally like Jason Statham-but it was his usual "I'm a badass that you better not mess with" persona that's been overdone through all the "Transporter" movies,2 "Expendables" flicks and now recently "Homefront". His cliche' portrayal of a hitman couldn't touch Charles Bronson's tortured loner who suffered from migraine headaches and insomnia and was so lonely that he paid expensive hookers to write him love letters and took the reckless son of one his victims under his wing.# 2. You can't do the car stunts with modern cars-the airbags will trigger, the MacPherson struts will break and come through the fenders, etc. And if you do it CGI-it looks like shit-QT himself  had Kurt Russell say it in "Death Proof"-CGI can't top "Vanishing Point" or "Bullitt" or "Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry." Great men doing great things with great cars. # 3. Especially now with Marijuana legalized in some states-no one cares about booze. # 4. It's hard to match an all-star cast. Ned Beatty-who played the meek businessman that got sodomized by the hillbillys in "Deliverance"-was scary as hell as corrupt Sheriff J.C Connors-I think even more Southern-fried bad than Strother Martin in "Cool Hand Luke" ( "What we have here is a failure to communicate")That shows range as an actor. Matt Clark was tragic as the good ol' boy mechanic who'd been to prison and was forced between a rock and a hard place by Gator and the Feds. "Five years in the federal pen is no picnic, but J.C. Connors can put me under." "You put me on that stand, I'm gonna lie." "I have to." So was Diane Ladd as his live in girlfriend. At his funeral she cries to Bo Hopkins-"He's not legally divorced." "His wife in Memphis is gonna get every cent of that insurance money!!" Bo Hopkins was perfect as an evil redneck career criminal who only cared about himself, as was R.G Armstrong as the Gangster that owned the Sheriff's department. And Jennifer Billingsley-her dark brown roots showing in her bleach-blond hair-barefoot in that tight, flowery minidress the whole movie-was sexy as hell. And even Mr foot fetish himself-QT-can't top Director William Norton's shot of her kneeling at the edge of the dock by a river and feeding scrambled eggs to a skinny-dipping Burt Reynolds who swims around the the other side of the dock. As he does-the camera is inches from her legs and as she turns to talk to Burt-there's a slow panning shot of her VERY dirty soles.Then she takes the dress off and jumps in the water to have sex with Burt-while Bo Hopkins-her supposed boyfriend-sleeps in house maybe a hundred yards up the dirt road. Many have tried in other movies-but no actress has been able to top Billinsley's  "Shake-a-Puddin"-the quintessential southern trailer park slut that men die and kill for.  If Tarantino does attempt it-here's how he can avoid it being a major flop and make it a hit, even if you can't top the original. # 1. Time Period. He's got to set it in the 1960s. The south was very corrupt then. Buford Pusser's life story illustrates that. If anyone can-QT can touch on the civil rights struggles, the corruption and the Viet Nam War-which Gators much younger brother who was in college was protesting when he was murdered by J. C. Connors. This solves problem # 2. He can use '60's Musclecars-which with their heavy frames and suspensions can do all the stunts-jumping, and smashing into other cars etc-without falling to pieces, electric fuel pumps shutting off, airbags triggering, etc. He needs to take his own advice from "Death Proof" and do the car chases "Old School"-no CGI, no speeding up the camera-guys going 115 mph like in "Bullitt" That's why it still looks real today no matter how many times they pass the same VW.  # 3. Don't do a shot-by-shot remake with the same screenplay. Gus Van Sant tried that with the "Psycho" re-boot a few years ago and it failed miserably. The basic storyline can be used, but perhaps Gator can be an ex-Green Beret Viet Nam vet who went to prison after coming home from the war and running 'Moonshine for his father. The younger brother can maybe be a Civil-Rights worker that's killed by the corrupt sheriff. "Big Bear" can be running hookers and illegal gambling joints and drugs as well as whiskey. Maybe he can even  show the early friendship between Gator and "Bama McCall-the villian in "Gator"-( The White Lightning sequel that wasn't nearly as good.)  # 4. The cast. This is crucial. Gator needs to be a hillbilly. This leaves out Boston-born and raised Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, and Mark Wahlberg, as well as surfer dude Matthew McConaughey. Also disqualifies Brit Jason Statham, Aussie Russel Crowe, and half-black Vin Diesel and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. Brad Pitt would be a good choice-he's from Missouri and he's brilliantly played evil crackers before-in "Thelma and Louise" and "Kalifornia". Or maybe he could think outside the box. Kid Rock has dabbled in acting and would be a great "Gator." So would Country Singer Toby Keith-he's 6' 4" and once played defensive end for the University of Oklahoma and he's dabbled in acting. "Shake-A-Puddin" has to be Gators age-mid to late 30's or at least look it. This leaves out current early 20s "It" girls Jennifer Lawrence, Scarlett Johanssen and Kristen Stewart. She has to be a white, hillbilly looking blonde bombshell. That nixes Eva Mendes, Eva Longoria, Salma Hayek, Beyonce, and other ethnic beauties. First choice-Pamela Anderson. She'd be perfect. Others who could do it would be Charlize Theron, Tricia Helfer-( "Dark Blue", Charlie's threesome fantasy girl on "Two and a Half Men", the current "Killer Women".) Or Connie Britton-( Friday Night Lights, "Nashville" ). Or think outside the box-how about Faith Hill?. J.C. Connors-you have a lot of good choices here. Don Johnson-who's from Missouri and was brilliant as a plantation owner in Django Unchained would be great. Tommy Lee Jones would be good. Or how about Burt himself? That would be a bold twist. I know QT likes to cast black actors in unconventional roles-What about Idris Elba or retired football star Ray Lewis in the Bo Hopkins role? How about Kurt Russel or Sam Elliot as "Big Bear?"  It could be done very well with the right cast and director and if anyone can do it it's QT. But lately he's been phoning in his work and preaching to the choir-yes if you've seen Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction and Jackie Brown and From Dusk till Dawn-and your already a fan- you get the little inside jokes,the foot fetish shots of Rosario Dawson,Uma Thurman and Salma Hayek,the arcane references to cult action movies etc. But if you've never seen his other work-some of this leaves a viewer scratching his head and going "What was that for?"  Hopefully if he attempts it-he'll do it with the brilliance of "Dogs" or Pulp Fiction. Anyone else want to weigh in on this? Mastermind

A Toy doesn't have to be correct to the "nth" degree......

Had a guy ask me how he could get a car like Mel Gibson had in the "Mad Max" and "Road Warrior" movies. When I told him it was a 1973 Australian Ford Falcon XB his response was "Crap." "Ill never find one here, and I can't afford to go to Australia and have a 30 year old car shipped over here." I suggested that he look for a '71-73 Mustang fastback. When I first saw those movies-that's what I thought it was. I said-Paint it flat back and put some fat tires on black Nascar style wheels. There's a ton of speed equipment for 302 Fords or 351C's-whichever your car would happen to have. I also told him if he couldn't afford to put a real blower on it-there's a company that sells fake blowers you can bolt on any normally aspirated engine. The Chargers in the Fast and Furious movies were actually powered by a small-block Chevy and a TH400. The blower was a fake. The guy says-dead serious-"But it wouldn't be exactly like the movie car." "Duh!!!" Guess what-you can't turn a belt-driven Roots type blower on and off with a switch either!! No it wouldn't be exact-but I guarantee if he put Mad Max on the liscence plate people would get the drift and think it's cool. And the car in the movie-wasn't stock-it was much modified by the stunt crew. So your going concours on me on a car that never existed??  Like Ditka says-"Come on, Man!!"  I've said it before-guys any '70-74 Challenger with Rally wheels painted Alpine white will give you the "Vanishing Point" vibe-it doesn't have to be a pristine numbers matching, 440, 4-speed 1970 R/T!!  Trust me- any '67-68 Mustang fastback painted dark green with Torq-Thrust mags-even if it's a 289 / Automatic will cause people to get the "Bullitt" theme. It doesn't have to be a 390 / 4-speed GT model. And again-like the "Mad Max" car-on something that never really existed-who gives a shit if it's not exact to every nut and bolt?  Burt Reynolds' Whiskey Runner in "White Lightning." Ford never built a 4-door '71-72 LTD with a 429 and a 4-speed!! If you wanted one-you could probably fabricate clutch linkage from Mustang ,Torino or F100 parts, or you could go hydraulic. But barring that mega-expense and time and effort-if you painted one Chesterfield Brown, and put white-letter tires on black wheels with chrome lug nuts and put some dual exhaust on it with some loud glasspacks, people would get the drift. Even if it was 400C with a two-barrel and an automatic-which most of them were. Any '73-74 Pontiac Ventura 2 dr painted silver with chrome wheels and "Baby Moon" hubcaps can pass for Roy Scheider's "Seven-Ups" chase car. Whether its a 350 2bbl automatic or a 455 with a Richmond 5-speed!! See what I'm saying?  If you want to build a movie replica car-you can do it cheaply and have fun- if you don't go crazy trying to match every tiniest detail. Just a thought. Mastermind      

More one or two year wonders that might be cool....

Here's a few more cool rides that were only produced for a year or two. # 1. 1967 Pontiac Gran Prix convertible. This is the only year that a drop-top GP was ever offered. They have hidden headlights and either 400 or 428 cubes under the hood. Full-size luxury and performance at it's best. # 2. 1968-69 Pontiac Firebird 350HO. These were under-rated at 325 hp. They were available with either a 4-speed or a TH400. Not many were sold because everyone wanted the 400 versions. But they make nice drivers and are faster than a 327 or 350 Camaro. # 3. 1972-73 Mercury Montego GT. Based on the Ford Torino chassis-the platform was all new in 1972. Ford changed from unit-body construction to body-on-frame design which resulted in dramatically improved ride and handling. The fastback GT model is a racy, muscular design. Remember the Wood Brothers Montego that David Pearson campaigned in NASCAR? That's this car. Most have 351C motivation, but a few were built with 429s. Ironically-the 429 was rated at only 205 hp,but the 351 was rated at 266 hp. The Montego line continued until 1976-but '72 and '73 were the only years for the sexy fastback body. # 4. 1974 Pontiac GTO. Often called "The best Nova ever built." This one year-the GTO nameplate was switched from the "A" body LeMans platform that it had been based on since 1964 to the "X" body Ventura ( Nova ) platform. They had a special grille, a Trans-Am style shaker hood scoop, front disc brakes, front and rear sway bars,Rally II wheels and special striping. The only engine was a 350 V8 backed up by a 4-speed or a TH350 with Hurst shifters. The 4-speed shifter was the typical Hurst unit used in Firebirds and other models. The automatic one was a cool one that look like a stick shifter-sort of an updated Auto / Stick 1. 7,058 were built. An added bonus-any suspension or brake upgrades that fit a Camaro, Firebird or Nova will fit these cars,and since Pontiac V8s are all externally identical a 400 or 455 is a bolt-in swap. The GTO name was dropped until 2004 when they Put it on the Australian built Holden Monaro. # 5. 1973 Chevrolet Corvette. This one year model has the tail end like the '68-72 models, and the front end like the '74-79 models. Engine choices include the 190 hp L48 350, the 250 hp L82 350, and the 275 hp LS4 454. Transmissions are a 4-speed, a TH350, or TH400 depending on engine choice. The L82 is probably the highest performance model.  # 6. 1977 Pontiac Can-Am. Attempting to cash in on the Trans-Am's immense popularity-Pontiac came up with this performance package for the LeMans. Appearance items included a Trans-Am style shaker hood scoop,a Gran Prix instrument panel, special striping, a "Ducktail" style rear spoiler,and Rally II wheels. Performance items included front and rear sway bars, a 400 Pontiac V8 ( 403 Olds in California ) a TH400 trans, and a limited-slip rear end. All the GM "A" bodies were downsized for 1978 so the package wasn't continued. A unique ride if you can find one, and any suspension or brake upgrades that fit a Chevelle fit these cars. # 7. 1978-79 Dodge Li'l Red Express Truck. This was a half-ton 2wd stepside pickup with a special red and gold paint job, wood on the bedsides,Semi-style verticle chrome exhaust stacks and chrome wheels. Power was a 360 V8 backed by a Torqueflite. Except for a WS6 Trans-Am or L82 Corvette-this was the fastest american vehicle those years. Mastermind    

One or two year wonders that might be cool to have....

There are a lot of cars that for whatever reason-were only produced for a single model year or two. Some of these are unique-and while not worth the major bucks that the premium models are-they are worth having and are cooler than a base model. Here's a list of these that I think are worth buying if you can find one at a reasonable price. # 1. 1967 Pontiac GTO. 81,000 of these were built so you should be able to find a deal on one. These are unique because except for the taillights and minor trim-they have the '66 bodystyle which a lot of people think are the best-looking GTO ever built. But they also have many performance upgrades-for example if you get an automatic model-you get a TH400, which drastically improved performance over the 1964-66 models which had a two-speed ST300 ( A BOP bolt-pattern Powerglide ). Engine size was increased from 389 to 400 cubes and the cylinder heads were completely re-designed and breathed way better than the '59-66 heads. The intake manifold was redesigned to complement the new heads, and the Quadrajet carb flowed 750 cfm-a lot more than 500 cfm the old Carter AFB 4bbl did, and about the same as the 3 Rochester 2GCs.  So-as I said in an earlier post-although people whined about the discontinuing of the 3-2bbl option-the 4bbl '67 model was actually faster than the '64-66 Tri-Power models.  Front disc brakes with 11 inch rotors were now optional and much-needed-the '64-66 models 4-wheel 9.5 inch drums would stop the car from high-speed one time. Then they'd fade badly. In '68 the body was completely changed to the style that would last through 1972. So if you want the "old" bodystyle with the "new" drivetrain this is the way to get it.  # 2. 1967-68 Ford "California Special" Mustang. These are a Mustang coupe with Shelby-style side scoops and taillights, Rally wheels and special striping and badging. Most are 289 powered but there are some 390 versions as well. Expect to pay a lot more for a 390 model. Their not worth GT350 or GT500 Shelby money-but I'd pay more for one of these than I would for a garden-variety Mustang of the same years. Colorado dealers sold some "High Country" specials that are basically the same thing-but you don't see them very often-and their not worth any more than the more plentiful "California" models. # 3. 1970 Olds Rallye 350 Cutlass. 3,527 of these were built-so while their rare-their not a total moon rock. These cars had a super loud Sebring Yellow paint job,body-colored bumpers, a "Judge" type spoiler and body-colored Rally wheels. Power was a 350 V8 rated at 310 hp backed by either a Muncie 4-speed or a TH350. Some Olds enthusiasts insist that 10 or 12 got the vaunted, super-hot "W31" 350-which was grossly under-rated at 325 hp-they were only available with the 4-speed and 3.90:1 or 4.33:1 gears-but I have never seen one, or a window sticker or build sheet for one, and no magazine or Olds engineer has ever verified one. But even with the base engine they are a cool ride. # 4. 1971-72 "Heavy Chevy" Chevelle. About 10,000 of these were built-6,727 in '71 and another 3,000 or so in the strike-shortened '72 model year. They are basically a 2 dr Malibu with a domed "SS" style hood, a blacked-out grille,14" slotted Rally wheels and special "Heavy Chevy" striping and emblems. Most have 350 cubes under the hood, but the 402 big-block was optional as well. For some unknown reason the 454 was not. Obviously you'll pay more for the big-block models, but their still cheaper than an "SS", and a lot cooler than a base-model. # 5. 1971 Dodge Super Bee. For this one-year only the Super Bee package was based on the Charger instead of the Coronet. Roughly 6,500 were built. They featured hidden headlights, special striping, a special domed hood with a huge "Super Bee" emblem on it, and the standard engine was the 383 Magnum. Options included the 340 small-block, the 440 4bbl, the 440 six-pack and the 426 Hemi. Obviously Hemi, 440 and Six-Pack versions are priced in the stratosphere-but 340 and 383 models are still reasonable. # 6. 1971-72 Dodge Demon. I think these are way cooler than the much more prevalant Duster. The grille and double scooped hood on these is meaner-looking than the Duster's, and you got special stripes, a go-wing on the trunk and the cool little grinning "Speed Demon" holding a pitchfork emblems. Power was the high-winding 340 V8 backed by a 4-speed or a Torqueflite. Even in the '70s political correctness ruined fun-a bunch of Christian groups griped about the "Demon" name & graphics-and Chrysler caved in to the pressure. In 1973 you could still get a 340-but the cool graphics and hood were gone, 5-mph bumpers added and the name was changed to Dart Sport. # 7. 1973-75 Pontiac Grand Am. These were touted to have "The luxury of a Gran Prix and the performance of a Trans-Am." However-luxury buyers bought GPs and performance buyers bought T/As which is why they only lasted a couple years. The upside is you got a 400 with either a 4-speed or a TH400, or a 455 with a TH400,bucket seats,front disc brakes, wrist-thick front and rear sway bars (" Radial Tuned Suspension" ) and a swoopy fastback body. Herb Adams campaigned one in NASCAR briefly until the brass made him quit. They are a bargain if you can find one-for some reason even Pontiac buffs snub these cars-and I don't know why-they have big-block power standard-while 99% of the Chevelles and Cutlasses of this vintage have 350s. 34,000 were built in 1973 alone-so you should be able to find one if you look hard enough. # 8 1982 and 1984 Corvette. Like the '67 GTO the '82 was a blend of the old and the new. This was the last of the C3 bodystyle that debuted in 1968 and the first one to have a 4-speed overdrive automatic and a Cross-Fire injected 350 V8. There was no '83 model-the all-new C4 was introduced as an '84 in March 1983. These are the bodystyle that lasted until 1996. The '84 had the Cross-Fire injected 350 and either a 700R4 automatic or the "4+3" manual-a T10 4-speed with an overdrive behind it that could be engaged in 2nd,3rd or 4th-effectively giving you 7 gears. For some reason 'Vette enthusiasts snub these cars in favor of the the '85-91 Tuned-Port Injected models, but that allows you to buy them dirt-cheap. "Corvette" and "Cheap" are not usually in the same sentence-but I have seen these for sale on used car lots for as low as $3995-and my brother-in law bought one from a private party with a spun main bearing for $700!! And the rest of the car was nice-the paint, seats etc. If anyone thinks of some others I missed, let me know. Mastermind              

More "Factory Freaks"......

I guess people like to hear about weird combinations-so here's a few more. # 1. "Turnpike Special" Pontiac GTO / Olds 442. For some insane reason-in 1967-68 at the height of the Musclecar era when gas was like 29 cents a gallon-the GM brass got the bright idea that the public would like to buy a GTO or 442 with a two-barrel carbed 265 hp 400 V8, an automatic, and 2.93:1 gears instead of the standard 350 hp 4bbl models with a 4-speed or automatic and 3.36:1 or 3.55:1 gears. Like "New Coke" back in the '80s-they were sadly mistsaken. No one wanted a badass-looking machine that couldn't get out of it's own way, and no one cared about a car that got 16 mpg instead of 12. Porsche tried to same thing with the 912-a 911 body with a 4-cylinder VW motor. The sports-car crowd was not amused either. If you run across one of these-"Turnpike Specials" and can buy one cheap-they are a "real" GTO or 442-and installing a 4 bbl carb and intake and stiffer gears is a no-brainer to get back the performance you want-by all means buy it. But don't pay top dollar for one-their not worth anything-other than being a good-condition GTO or 442 body. And there not collectible like a Tri-power '66 model or a Judge or Hurst / Olds regardless of what the idiot selling it says. # 2. Small-block "SS" Chevelles. From 1966-1970-the "SS" emblems on a Chevelle or El Camino meant it was Rat-Powered-either a 396 or a 454. For whatever reason-declining sales-or rising insurance rates on big-block cars, in 1971-72 Chevrolet decided to offer the "SS" package on any V8 Malibu. So it was possible to have a Chevelle SS with a domed hood, rally stripes, and fat tires on Rally Wheels-powered by a 307 inch V8 with a two-barrel that wheezed out 130 hp. I have never seen one with a 307, but I have seen quite a few with the 165 hp 2bbl 350 or the 175 hp 4bbl 350. Again-there not worth anything other than what a good 2 dr Chevelle is worth-don't pay a premium price for one-the big-blocks even a 240 hp LS3 402 or 270 hp LS5 454 are worth a lot more. # 3. 302 1971-73 Mach 1 Mustangs. In 1969-70 the Mach 1 package meant performance-the standard engine in '69 was a 351W rated at 290 hp, and in 1970 the new 351C rated at 300. Both years the mighty 428 was optional. ( So was the Boss 429, but their ultra-rare and priced out of most people's reach ). However in 1971-the Mustang became longer, wider, and much heavier. The 351C was still available and in 1971 a few were built with 429s. However the standard engine was a 302 with a 2bbl that wheezed out 139 hp. Even with an automatic and 2.80:1 gears a 351C Mustang is capable of enough acceleration from a light to annoy a traffic cop. But, If you have a 3,700 lb 71-73 Mustang with a 140 hp 2bbl 302-you'll annoy exactly two people-yourself and the person behind you. Again if you can buy one cheap-get it-and there's a million ways to build power into a 302 Ford-but don't pay the same money as you would for a 351 version. Again-their not collectible-just weird. # 4. Small-block Olds 442s. I touched on this briefly the other day. From 1965-69 a 442 had a 400 inch V8. In 1970-71 the standard engine was a 455. In 1972 the 442 package became an "Appearance and Handling" option any Cutlass model. So you could have a badass-looking car with a 2bbl 350 that made 160 hp. And after '72 it got worse. I guess the Olds brass just gave up on performance and wanted to concentrate on luxury. Why, I don't know. Just as Pontiac kept the L78 400 alive in T/A's and Formula Firebirds until 1979-and Chevy kept the L82 350 in Corvettes until 1980-Olds could have kept a W30 455 in it's basic form until at least 1979. However the vaunted "W30" 455 was dropped at the end of 1972-and the last 455 Cutlass-that wheezed out 190 hp-was built in 1975. In '76 the 455 was still available in big cars and wagons-but not in a Cutlass. The 403 that made 185 hp was the top engine option. A far cry from the 390 hp of the '68 Hurst Olds or the 365 hp of the '71 model. The "A" body continued until 1977, as did the 442 "Appearance and handling" package. So it gets worse. It was possible to have a 76-77 442 with an "economy" 260 inch 2bbl Olds V8 that made about 135 hp!! In a 4,000 lb car?? That's where the crude car business axiom- "Couldn't pull a sick hooker off a tricycle" came from. Most of them had 350s-and a few had 403s-but there was no manual transmission offered after 1974-so with a slushbox and 2.41:1 gears-they were dogs too. The upside is the Olds Cutlass was the best-selling American car in the '70's so there's a lot of them left, any suspension or brake upgrades that fit a Chevelle fit these cars, and there's a ton of aftermarket speed equipment for 350 / 403 Olds motors, or a 455 is an easy swap. But don't pay big money for any 442 built after 1971-especially if it doesn't have 455 cubes under the hood. # 5. 1977-79 301 Firebird Formula and Trans-Am. Most T/A's and Formulas of this vintage have either a 400 Pontiac or a 403 Olds under the hood. However-for some reason a few people saved $150 off the sticker price-on a car that cost $10,000 in 1979 dollars-and took a 301 V8 instead. The 2bbl version wheezed out 135 hp, the 4bbl version a whopping 150. Again-in a 3,800 lb car-do the math-SLUG is the only word that comes to mind. I've even seen loaded black and gold SE models with T-Tops and every option known to man-and this anemic, "Economy" motor!!! There is zero aftermarket performance parts for these engines-( They were only produced from '77-81 ) , nothing interchanges with the "traditional"-i.e.-326-455 inch Pontiac V8s, and their unreliable as well as having no power. The only upside is the motor mounts are in the same place and the oil pan is the same as is the bellhousing bolt-pattern. So you could swap in a 400 or 455 Pontiac pretty easily if you wanted to. But other than being a good Firebird or T/A body-these cars aren't worth squat. # 6. 1980 305 Corvette. GM had a lot of trouble with the EPA and emissions standards in the late '70s and early '80s that's why they played musical engines-Olds Cutlasses with Chevy engines-Buick Regals with 301 Pontiacs, Chevy Monte Carlos with Buick V6s-etc. They'd stuff any engine that they could get to pass federal or high-altitude or California emissions into any body so they could sell the cars. Californians really got screwed. You couldn't buy a Camaro, Corvette, or Firebird with a 4-speed after 1974. In 1980, in the other 49 states the standard engine in a Corvette was the L48 350 rated at 190 hp. The optional engine was the L82 rated at 230 hp. In 1980- for some reason Chevy had trouble getting 350s California certified. So they threw 305s in everything destined for the Golden state. Now in an Impala or a Monte Carlo or even a half-ton pickup that didn't really matter. But for a short time-the only powertrain you could get in a Corvette in California in 1980 was a 145 hp 305 with an automatic!! California dealers, customers and the buff magazines raised Holy Hell. A Corvette that couldn't break out of the 17s in the 1/4??? ( The L48 / L82 models were running 15s-decent for the time ). Chevrolet quickly got the L48 Certified with a 4-speed or an automatic and the L82 certified with an automatic only, and the great disturbance in the force was quelled. Every once in a while-you'll see some moron advertising his "Super Rare" "One year Only" 305 Corvette for an outrageous dollar amount-Like it's an L88 or a Fuel-Injected Split-Window-in Hemmings or some 'Vette enthusiast mag. Here's your sign. If you ever run across one and can buy it dirt-cheap-and then swap in a 350 or 383 GM performance crate motor-that might be a bargain. But otherwise-something about a ten-foot pole.....Mastermind                

More cars that don't exist.....

Had a few people write in and say they owned other cars that I said didn't exist in past posts. And as usual, they were wrong. Here's the list. # 1. 1970 LS6 Corvette. The LS6 was originally slated to be optional in the Camaro SS and the Nova SS as well as the Chevelle. This is why the LS6 has an intake manifold that is so low that the fuel flows UPHILL to the carb. This was done to clear the low hoodline of the new for 1970 Camaro. This flat manifold loses 15-20 hp over the 1969 and earlier L78 / L88 396 / 427 aluminum manifold. The only 454 offered in a 1970 Corvette was the "Station Wagon" LS5 which was rated at 360 hp. The LS6 wasn't offered in the Corvette because Zora-Arkus Duntov-Chief Corvette engineer-fully expected the more radical LS7 to make production. For whatever reason the Chevrolet brass decided to cut down on model proliferation-so the LS6 was only offered in the Chevelle line-instead of Camaros and Novas as well. And at the last minute-the LS7 option was nixed. This left the LT-1 small-block rated at 370 hp-as the most powerful Corvette engine that year. 1100 or so LS6 Corvettes were sold in 1971-with 9:1 compression and a rating of 425 hp. Both the LS6 and LS7 were sold through Chevrolet dealers as a crate engine until 1990. A lot of 'Vette guys swapped these badass Rats into their cars in the '70's and '80's-so yes you could feasibly own a 1970 Corvette with a "Real" LS6 engine-but there was NEVER a factory built version. # 2. 1969-70 Ram Air V GTO. In 1968-69 Herb Adams and other engineers began working on some "Tunnel Port" heads for the Pontiac V8. They were aware that Ford was developing a Tunnel-Port engine for Trans-Am racing-we all know about the Boss 302. Adams and company developed these heads that breathed better than a big-block Chevy. Their goal was to make maximum power between 5,000 and 8,000 rpm. Where the 5.0 liter T/A cars typically ran on the road courses. They even de-stroked a 400 to 303 inches to stay with in the 305 cu. in. limit. However- they discovered that the big heads were just too much for a 303 inch engine, and they actually made more power with the smaller production RAIV heads- about 485 hp-which was consistent with what the high-winding 302 Chevys and 302 Fords were doing. So they thought they could be competitive in SCCA Trans-Am racing. Just for giggles they tried the big heads on the "Regular" 428 inch Pontiac motors and were astounded-the big motors made more power and torque than they'd ever dreamed of-blowing away even the nasty RAIV. They were pumped-they were making as much power as a Chrysler 426 Race Hemi or a 427 Chevy Nascar engine. The only problem was-the big, heavy Pontiac bottom ends didn't hold up well over 6,500 rpm-so why do you need heads that breathe until 8 grnd?. Taking advice from Smokey Yunick who had owned NASCAR in the early '60's with Fireball Roberts and his Fire-Breathing Pontiacs-Yunick would cut down a 3.25 inch 421 crank to 3.00 inch 389 bearing size to make them live at high rpm. Adams and company decided to use a 400 with the smaller journal crank, and used forged pistons, forged rods, and hot General Kinetics solid-lifter cam, a special intake manifold built by Doug Nash, and custom headers. The 400 RA V prototype made just as much power as the 428, just at higher rpm. Adams laughed when another engineer said the power dropped off-at about 8 grand. Stoked-because they thought they had a motor that would make the GTO "King Kong" again- and smite 426 Hemi and 440 Mopars and 427 Vettes in biblical fashion- and maybe be competitive in Nascar-they pitched it to the brass. Pontiac had a policy at that time that they would not under any circumstances warranty a solid-lifter engine. Adams and co argued that Chevrolet did, but De Lorean who was President of Pontiac at the time-said "Were in the business of building street cars, not race cars." and refused to warranty the RA V. GM Wouldn't allow you sell a new car without a warranty-so that killed it. The engineers had enough parts to build about 500 engines-which you had to do to race them. Not wanting to totally lose their ass-Adams suggested they sell them over the counter to racers. DeLorean agreed to that. Arnie "The Farmer" Beswick, Doug Nash and other racers campaigned RAV racers. Royal Pontiac employee Milt Schornak had great success campainging an RAV Judge in drag racing. Royal Pontiac even swapped in a few into GTOs and Firebirds for customers who could afford it. But there was never a factory built RAV car ever sold. # 3. 1967 Tri-Power Pontiac GTO. For some reason-in 1967 the GM brass decided that cars didn't need multiple carbs any more. Apparantly Zora-Arkus Duntov had juice upstairs-because Chevrolet continued to build tri-power 427 'Vettes until 1969. But Pontiac and Olds-who had tri-power setups on the GTO and 442 in 1966-complied. Tri-power-3 2bbl carbs- had been a Pontiac Performance staple since 1959. In reality-the new for 1967 400 V8-( Which was a bored-out 389 ) featured new cylinder heads that had big 2.11 / 1.77 intake / exhaust valves-and re-designed combustion chambers breathed a ton better than the 1.96 / 1.66 "bathtub" heads. With the 4bbl Quadrajet and 301 / 313 duration cam-it was faster in testing than the revered, "068" cammed Tri-Power 389. However-customers and the buff magazines lost their mind and howled to the heavens. You could buy all the parts from dealership parts departments and the '65-66 manifold would bolt up to the newer engine. Royal Pontiac installed a bunch of them for customers who'd pay extra for it-as did a lot of dealers who didn't mind making the extra profit. So-there may be a few people who aren't lying when they say their dad or older brother bought a brand-new '67 GTO with Tri-Power on it from a dealer. But these were cars that the dealers modified. There was NEVER a factory produced version. # 4. 1972 Boss 351 Mustang. The '71 Boss 351 Mustang is arguably the best balanced Mustang ever built. The 428 and 429 models were faster in a drag race, but were so nose-heavy they handled like a UPS truck. The Boss 302 was a rocket-but had very little torque below 4,000 rpm. There's a reason they were only available with a 4-speed and 3.90 or 4.30 gears!! But the 351 had way more torque and was much more tractable than the Boss 302 and still handled good. With 11.3:1 compression, a hot solid-lifter cam and aluminum intake-it was very under-rated at 330 hp. However- only 1,806 were built. In 1972 most Mach 1s got the 351CJ-for "Cobra-Jet" which had 7.9:1 compression, a hydraulic cam and was rated at 266 net hp. This same engine was in Panteras. With a stick or automatic-they moved the Mustangs along very briskly-but they weren't rockets. Ford didn't advertise it, and you had to find a Performance-Oriented dealer-to order it for you-but there was a package called "351HO" which had the Boss 351 Solid-lifter cam, and 8.8:1 compression and was only available with a 4-speed and 3.91:1 gears. It was under-rated at 285 hp. Very few were built. I was at Serramonte Ford in San Francisco when my dad PDI'd ( pre-delivery inspection ) one. It was green with a blacked-out hood and black stripes and Ram Air ducted to the hood. It sounded nasty and would spin the wheels as long as you wanted to stay on the throttle. Anyone who says Blue-Oval performance died after '71-never heard or rode in one of these.  Ford guys will argue that it was a Boss 351 with lower compression-but the bottom line is this-Ford Officially named the package "351 HO"-not "Boss" which leaves the 1971 model as the only "Real" Boss 351. # 5. 1972 Monte Carlo SS. Except for the "Egg Crate" grille-and net hp ratings the '72 models were basically the same as the '71s. And if you used the order sheet judiciously-you could get a 402 or 454 big block, bucket seats, console, guages,Rally Wheels, etc-and basically build an SS model without the badging. But the fact remains-the "SS" option was dropped at the end of 1971. # 6. 1972 Pontiac T-37. In 1970 and 71 the T-37 was a performance package on the Tempest. Standard powertain was a 350 V8 and a 3-speed, but you could get a 400 or even a 455HO with a 4-speed or Th400 if you wanted. Buff magazines called them the "Poor Man's GTO". The same basic package was available in 1972-350 V8 standard-with the 400s and 455s optional-but the package was re-named "LeMans GT". It sounds like semantics-but there was no '72 T-37. If you want to play that card-in 1974 you could buy a LeMans GT or a Grand Am with a 400 and a 4-speed-or a 455 and a TH400-both of which are certainly more "GTO" than the 7.6:1 compression 350 engined ( Nova based ) Ventura that wore the GTO name plate. But it's not a GTO. In the late '70's you could buy a base-model Camaro with a 350 and a 4-speed. That doesn't make it a Z/28.  Hope this clears some things up. Mastermind        

These cars don't exist.....So stop looking for them!!

The "Not collectible,Just Weird" post spawned some crazy inquirys. Some of the stuff I've touched on before, and some I haven't but I think it's worth discussing. # 1. 4 door or wagon '64 442 models. 1964 sales literature and GM dealer order books state that the 442 package could be ordered on any Cutlass or F85 model, including four door sedans and wagons. However-The only 442s I have ever seen have been 2 door post coupe or 2 dr hardtop models. I have never seen a 442 sedan or wagon, no publication like Musclecar Review or Hemming's Muscle Machines has ever found one, or a window sticker or a build sheet for one, and no current or former GM or Olds engineer or executive has ever verified one. In 1964 the 442 package stood for 4 barrel carb, 4-speed trans, and dual exhaust. 4-4-2. Get it? Except the only engine was a 330 inch V8-per GM mandate-no intermediate could have a standard engine over 330 inches. Pontiac slipped the GTO by with a "Big Car" 389 V8 by making it an OPTION. Chevrolet, Olds and Buick howled to the high heavens- and demanded the project be killed as a 389 GTO would easily smoke a 327 Chevelle or 330 Cutlass.-and a 396 or 409 Impala. Pontiac had hoped to sell 10,000 GTOs. They sold 32,450 in 1964 and 75,600 in 1965. GM never argued with success and said the GTO was here to stay. In 1965 to level the playing field Olds dropped their big car 400 V8 into the 442 and made it a separate model. Since an automatic trans was offered as well as the 4-speed-they said the numerals now stood for 400 cubic inches, 4-barrel carb, and dual exhaust. Chevrolet sold 200 or so 396 Chevelles in 1965. In 1966 with a dealer network twice the size of Pontiac's Chevrolet could only sell 77,000 SS396 Chevelles, while Pontiac sold a record 96,000 GTOs. Anyhow-there was never a 4 door or station wagon 442. # 2. 1971 Challenger T/A / 'Cuda AAR. In 1970 these models had a 340 V8 with 3 2bbls- a "Six Pack" package just like the 440s. The also had custom scooped hoods and graphics, dual exhaust that exited in front of the rear wheels, and mis-matched tires-E60-15s in the front and G60-15s in the rear gave the cars a mean rake. The option is listed in early 1971 sales literature and their is even a picture of a Challenger T/A in an ad in Motor Trend magazine. However that car is a 1970 model with a '71 grille airbrushed in. The package was killed by the brass and there were no 1971 models built. The 1971 R/T stripes looked a lot like the '70 T/A stripes, and Edelbrock still sells the manifolds and Holley still sells the carbs, so people have built clones-but there was never a Factory built '71 T/A Challenger or AAR 'Cuda model. # 3. 1972-74 Plymouth GTX. From 1967-70 The GTX was a separate, premium model although it was based on the Belvedere / Satellite / Road Runner platform. The standard engine in a GTX was always a 440 4bbl with either a Torqueflite or a 4-speed. The 426 Hemi and later the 440 Six-Pack were options. The standard powertrain in the Road Runner was a 383 with a 3-speed stick, with a 4-speed or Torqueflite optional, as well as the other engines. The GTX also had upgraded interiors and front disc brakes and special graphics. However-in 1971-to combat rising insurance rates on musclecars although the 383 was still the standard engine in a Road Runner-you could opt for a 340 small-block if you wanted. In 1971 the GTX package became an option on the Road Runner. You still got a 440 V8 and other things-but not many were sold. In 1972 the Standard engine on the Road Runner became a 400-( a bored-out 383 ). with the 340 and 440 4bbl optional. The 440 Six-Pack was listed in very early sales literature rated at 9:1 compression and 330 hp-down substantially from the 10.3:1 385 hp 1971 model. However prototypes had trouble passing the stiffer 1972 emissions standards and the option was scrapped. Rumors persist that "a few"-less than 10 "slipped out". However I have never seen one, nor I have ever seen a window sticker or a build sheet for one in any magazine or Hemmings. The GTX package is listed in early 1972 sales literature as well as '73 and '74-but again- I have never seen a '72 or later GTX anywhere or featured in a magazine or a window sticker or a build sheet for one. And further- how the mighty had fallen-the standard engine in '73 and '74 Road Runners was a 318 with a 2bbl. The 340, 360,400 and 440 engines were options. # 4. 1973-74 Non-Firebird Super Duty Pontiacs. In very early 1973 sales literature the SD-455 was rated at 310 hp and was listed as optional in the Firebird Formula and Trans-Am, as well as the GTO, Gran Prix and Grand Am. High Performance Cars even voted the 1973 GTO their "Car of the Year." This engine had special round-port heads that had even bigger intake ports than the vaunted RAIV / 455HO heads. It also a special iron intake manifold, forged pistons, forged rods with 7/16 bolts ( instead of cast with 3/8 bolts ) However-early prototypes had trouble with connecting rod failure that took months to sort out with the supplier. Then they had trouble passing emissions with the long-duration, high lift, ( 308 / 320 duration, .470 lift ) Ram Air IV cam. This was swapped for the milder 301 / 313 duration .414 lift RAIII cam and horsepower was down-rated from 310 to 290. Then they had trouble with EGR valve function. Only the tireless efforts of Herb Adams kept the project from being scrapped. Finally the engine was EPA certified in the Firebird line only. Only 295 were built-252 in Trans-Ams and another 43 in Formulas. Oddly-instead of the Formulas trademark double-scooped hood-all SD-455 Formulas had a flat hood with a Trans-Am style "Shaker" hood scoop. Another 943 were sold in 1974-all in Trans-Ams. The L75 250 hp 455 was standard in the Trans-Am and optional in the Formula Firebird, LeMans, GTO, Grand Am, and Gran Prix models. So your 73-74 455 GP, Grand Am or LeMans / GTO may be a tire fryer-but it's NOT a Super Duty. # 5. 1977-79 5 speed Pontiac Trans-Am. After the phenomenal success of "Smokey and the Bandit" the Trans-Am was THE hot car to have in the late '70's. Dennis and Kyle Mecham of Mecham Pontiac in Glendale. Arizona made a ton of money and the buff magazines raved about their Hot-Rodded "Macho T/A's". In addition to adding Hooker Headers and real dual exhausts, opening up the hood scoop and re-jetting the carb and re-curving the distributors, the Mecham brothers offered cool dealer installed options like Recaro seats, Koni shocks,aftermarket wheels and tires,TransGo shift kits for automatics, Hurst Competition Plus shifters for 4-speeds-and if you wanted a Doug Nash 5-speed instead of the 4-speed. Former Pontiac engineer and "Father of the Trans-Am" Herb Adams formed a company called VSE and built "Fire-Ams"-Trans-Ams with 180 degree headers, Holley Street Dominator intakes, milled heads,upgraded suspensions, fatter tires, and yes-if the customer wanted-a Doug Nash 5-speed. They got away with this by the Mechams and Adams buying stock T/A's, modifying them, and then selling them to dealers as used cars, who re-sold them as used cars. But the 5-speed stick was never a factory option. At least not until 1983 when the T5 was put behind 305 Chevys in the 3rd gen models. Hope that puts some of these myths to rest. Mastermind              

Their not collectible.....Their just weird....

I love getting photos and emails from people railing on and on about their ultra-rare car that's worth a zillion dollars, when in reality it's not worth what a "Regular" car of the same model is. Here's a few examples that left me shaking my head. #1. 1966 Corvette. I can't even believe that Chevrolet offered this combination-but they did. This guy had a 390 hp 427 Corvette with a Two-Speed Powerglide automatic. Why? if you got a 396 or 427 in an Impala and wanted an automatic-you got the excellent TH400. Yet in a 'Vette-you couldn't get a TH400 until 1968. Obviously performance was not nearly as good as a 4-speed model. Now granted-any 427 Stingray is worth major bucks, but this guy was saying he thought he could sell it for $250,000!!!  Welcome to Fantasy Island. Especially when RK Motors-a huge dealer of classic cars in North Carolina is selling a frame off restored 435hp 427 tri-power 4-speed convertible for $74,000!!!. They also have a 400 hp tri-power 427 4-speed model selling for $69,000. Now that's out of my pocketbook's range-but if you want a big-block Stingray and have the finances-check the internet and Hemmings-you can find a ton of them for $50,000. Even L88's-will top 100k sometimes but this guy's on glue if thinks someone will pay a quarter-million for a 'Vette with a "Powerslide" behind a rat motor!!  #2. 1970 Firebird Formula 400. This one was ordered by an idiot who the salesman couldn't convince to buy a 350 base model. Apparently the guy HAD to have the scooped hood which was only available on a Formula 400. And he was either,cheap, broke, or stupid-I think all three. Here's why-yes it's a Formula 400 with the 330 hp L78 400. But it's a three-speed stick with no console, no a/c, no guages,and no radio. It doesn't even have Rally II wheels-it has black steel wheels and dog dish hubcaps-which were standard. This car doesn't have a single option. Now you could say maybe the guy wanted a light, bare bones racer. I would buy that if it had a 4-speed or a TH400 and guages and a tach. If you were going to race it on the street or the track a 4-speed or a TH400 is a better choice than a 3-speed. And you'd definitely want a tach so you'd know when to shift. And even if you bought the car cheap-why wouldn't he have put an aftermarket tach on the steering column? And why wouldn't you ditch the ugly steel wheels for some Rally II's or maybe Cragar S/S's or Center Lines or something period -correct? Apparently this guy bought it from the original owner. He says he won't sell it even for 100 grand. That's good-because no one's going to be offering that-especially when Trans-Am Specialties of Florida-is advertising a pristine, loaded, numbers-matching SD-455 Trans-Am that was owned by Actress Christina Ricci for $54,000!!! They also have a restored 1971 455HO 4-speed Trans-Am for $43,000. They also have a 1979 400, 4-speed, WS6, T-Topped Gold SE T/A with 44,000 original miles for $26,500!!!, and a 1979 WS6 Formula with a 403 / Th350 combo with 33,000 original miles for $19,000. So I don't think any one's going to be beating down this guy's door to give him 100K for a three-speed Firebird with no options whatsoever-not even a tach or an AM radio!!!  # 3. 1972 Olds 442. I met this goofball at Hot August Nights a couple years ago. He looked at my Hurst / Olds and said "Come with me, you need to see MY Olds." He was obviously implying that his was cooler than mine-so I'm thinking it has to be a '68 or '69 Hurst / Olds, or maybe a 4-speed, W30 1970 model, or a convertible '65 model. No, he shows me this 1972 442 with a 2bbl 350,a column-shifted automatic,and bench front seats. Now if you don't know-the 442 was a separate model from 1965-71 and always had a 400 or 455 V8 standard. In '72 it reverted back to being an option on the Cutlass. So you could get a mean-looking machine with a 160 hp 350 with a 2bbl!! When I asked him why he hadn't at least put a 4bbl carb and intake on it-he'd have way more power and probably better gas mileage-he sneered-"You don't compromise the value of a rare car like this by modifying it." Then he said he'd sell it if someone offered him $50,000. When I pointed out that a 1971 442 with a 455 and a 4-speed sold for $32,000, and a 1970 4-speed,Rallye 350 went for $29,000, at that years HAN auction-and that perhaps he was a tad overpriced,he sneered-"Those cars arent' as rare as mine." I walked away-citing Murphy's law-"Never argue with an idiot because people might not know the difference." Honestly-simply because it was a rust-free 442 body he might be able to get ten grand for it from someone who wanted to swap in a 455 or maybe make a Hurst / Olds clone. But no one's going to pay 50K for a '72 Cutlass with bench seats, a column shifted automatic and a 350 with a two-barrel!!! Not when 25K will buy a 400 or 455 '68-70 model in any state in the union. Here's your sign. #4. 1979 Pontiac Trans-Am. This one should probably be number one. I met this clown at HAN last year. I was looking at a line of T/A's and GTOs and other Pontiacs when he offered to show me his "One of a Kind" '79 T/A. Again-I'm thinking it must be a 400-4-speed 10th anniversary model with a rear console-or maybe a "Macho T/A" with a Doug Nash 5-speed or an H/O racing specialties Turbo. No this was a 301 engined model-for a $150 credit that year instead of a 400 Pontiac or a 403 Olds which were the standard engines you got a 301 that wheezed out 150 hp. In addition he was proud of the fact that it was taxicab yellow, with a red velour interior. Yuk. I asked-obviously this car was red, black or white originally- the only colors offered with a red interior-why would you paint it yellow? Oh-no-he said-This combination was special-ordered through the District office-the guy he bought it from said he had to put down a $2,000 non-refundable deposit and wait 10 weeks for it because the dealer and the Pontiac brass said that wasn't an allowed color combination-and that the car would be hard to sell if he didn't buy it-especially with the step-down engine-no tire-smoking 400 incher-they wouldn't be able to give it away. Pontiac basically refused to build the car. Then the idiot paid the whole sticker price in cash and agreed to wait 12 weeks for it. Having the full price in hand, the dealer relented and called the regional Vice President and got the car built. The guy was so proud of that story. Yeah-that's what every Pontiac enthusiast wants-a yellow Trans-Am with red interior and a 150 hp engine. Sorry to break the news to you guys-but two-barrel step-down engines,two-speed automatics,three-speed sticks,column-shifted bucket seat cars,4-speed bench seat cars,radio and heater-delete cars, aren't collectible, their just weird. As we used to say in the car business- there's an ass for every seat. But don't try to make me drink the kool-aid on how "Valuable" some freak option combination is. Mastermind              

"Stock" Class race cars aren't really stock......

After the posts on the Pure Stock drags I got inquiries about other stock classes people could run their musclecars in. The Catch-22 with these cars is they are extensively modified for maximum performance. If you entered your frame-off restored, numbers matching diamond in these races-even if you had a "King Kong" musclecar-you'd lose. The reason is the latitude the NHRA rulebook allows. For example-High-Performance Pontiac featured a "Super Stock" 1970 Ram Air IV Firebird Formula 400 that ran in the 10s. Now the RAIV was a 400 Pontiac V8 that had better breathing round-exhaust port heads that breathed way better than the standard "D" ports. These heads required special round-port exhaust manifolds. They also had an aluminum high-rise intake instead of the stock iron one. The cam had 308 / 320 Duration and with the 1.65:1 rockers, longer pushrods, special valvesprings and anti-pump-up lifters had .520 lift. A lot more than the .414 inch lift of the famous "068" or RAIII cam. This valvetrain would allow them to rev to 6,500 rpm. To beef up the bottom-end they used 4-bolt mains instead of 2, and forged pistons instead of cast, and a special 80 lb oil pump. They were only available with 3.90:1 or 4.33:1 gears. They'd run in the 13s bone-stock and a lot of magazines would put headers and slicks on them and drop into the 12s pretty easily. So how did this guy get his in the 10s without Nitrous? By strictly adhering to the rulebook!  For example-engines are allowed to be within 15 cubic inches of their original size. Their ACTUAL size, not their advertised size. For example a 350 Pontiac is actually 354.5 cubic inches. So you could run a 370 inch motor and be within the rules. A 1970 and later SS396 Chevelle or Camaro engine is actually 402 cubic inches. So you could run a 417 inch motor and be legal-as opposed to 411 inches if the actual original size was 396 inches. In this case-a 400 Pontiac is actually 401 inches and change. So this guy runs a 3.79 inch stroke crank ( instead of the stock 3.75 ) which with a .040 overbore nets 416 cubes. He's running custom pistons which allow him to use 6.800 inch rods instead of the stock 6.625 size. The little extra stroke,15 extra cubes, and longer rods increase torque output substantially over stock. The heads have to be Iron-no aluminum aftermarket ones-but the combustion chamber volume has to be at least 62cc. This gives a compression ratio over 12:1-compared to the stock RAIV's 72cc chambers which give 10.5:1 with flat-top pistons. The cam has to be hydraulic-no solids or rollers-but there's no restrictions on lift or duration. The intake has to be stock-but they can be port-matched and extrude-honed, and you can run any size spacer under the carb as long the stock hood will close-no cutting up the hood for carb or air cleaner clearance. Many of these classes allow headers. Further you can run any axle ratio you want. This guy was running 5.14:1 gears!! And a TH400 with a 5,500 rpm converter and a trans-brake. Now do this math-do you think a 416 inch Poncho with 12:1 compression, longer 6.800 inch rods,a cam with over .600 lift, and 2 inch headers, a 5,500 rpm converter and 5.14 gears will run a tad faster than a stock one with 10.5:1 compression, stock rods,a .520 lift cam, iron exhaust manifolds and a stock 4-speed or TH400 and 3.90 or 4.33 gears??!! Like two or three seconds quicker!!!  Another example is a guy who runs an L88 Corvette. Now the L88 was pretty hopped up in stock trim. 12:1 compression, a hot solid lifter cam, aluminum intake with an 830 cfm Holley 4-barrel. However the rulebook says he can run 13.5:1 compression, a .700 lift cam as opposed to the stock ( .560 ), 2.30 inch intake valves ( instead of the stock 2.19 ) and his double-pumper Holley is custom built to flow 1000 cfm. He's running a TH400 and 4.88:1 gears, and 2 1/4 inch headers and sidepipes. That's going to run a lot quicker than a bone-stock one with iron exhaust manifolds, and 3.36 or 3.70 or even 4.11 gears!!!  I don't want to discourage anyone from racing their car-but don't think a concours-restored car can enter a "stock" class drag meet and be competitive. But if you wanted to build a "Clone"-your "LS6" Chevelle could run a 468 inch, 12.25:1 compression, a .600 lift solid cam, the 1969 and earlier L78 / L88 intake-( That's much taller than the flat LS6 one and worth 25 hp ) and any axle ratio from 3.31 to 6.14. Which would smoke a "real" stock LS6!!  If you want to go that route, peruse the rulebook carefully, and use every trick you can. Mastermind
    

What part of "Modified" or "Warmed Over" do people not grasp??....

I've told stories before about drag racing and street racing various musclecars I've owned over the years. Most people find them entertaining, but I occasionally get a snotty email from some "Doubting Thomas" who calls me a liar and says I live on Fantasy Island because there's no way in hell that car could beat the other car under any circumstances. I thought I'd set the record straight explain once for all why everything I've said is absolutely true. # 1. My 1969 GTO Judge. Or as my friends used to call it-"Judge,Jury and Executioner". To quote Vin Diesel from "Fast&Furious-"That monster has never seen taillights." I've said before that it wasn't stock-but here's the full rundown. It was an original RAIII car with a Rock-Crusher 4-speed and a 4.33:1 posi rear end. The guy I bought it from had raced it extensively in Oregon. It had ported and polished Ram Air III heads with 1.65:1 Crane Roller rockers, 12:1 TRW forged pistons, a solid-lifter Crane Cam with 337 advertised duration and .550 lift. That would have been with 1.5 rockers-the 1.65 rockers gave it an extra 10 percent-to .605 lift. It had hooker headers and a 3" dual exhaust system with hooker race mufflers. The induction system was an Offenhauser dual-quad intake with two 750 cfm Carter AFBs. The ignition was a Mallory Unilite. It also had Lakewood Ladder bars on the rear end, and N50X15 Mickey Thompson "Hot&Sticky" tires mounted on 15X10 ET Mags. The previous owner had numerous timeslips from his local strip in Oregon-ranging from 11.79 to 11.38 depending on how much traction he had. So when I say I blew the doors off an LS6 Chevelle, or 427 'Vette, or a 428CJ Mustang or a Hemi 'Cuda that ran mid-13s stock-and even if they had headers or traction bars-they might have dipped into the high 12s-but they damn sure weren't running 11.30s. With Hot Rod having 8-second cars on the Power Tour-this doesn't sound that fast nowadays-but in 1978 it was ungodly fast. And even today-that would still smoke a new Shelby GT500, ZL1 Camaro or SRT8 Challenger in a drag race. So when I say this car was Jule's Wallet from "Pulp Fiction"-a Bad MoFo-that smote all challengers in biblical fashion-you can believe it. Don't email me and say your 396 Nova or 440 Cuda would have eaten my lunch because unless your car was running 11.20 or quicker-your the one that's dreaming. #2. My dad's 1965 Catalina 2+2. This car had a Tri-Power 421. a TH400, and 3.90:1 rear end gears. But dad was ( and still is ) a gearhead who was always searching for more power and worshipped at the altar of Nunzi Romano of "Nunzi'a Automotive and Kern Osterock of HO racing Specialties-these guys were THE Pontiac Power gurus in the '70's. Dad had every issue of Popular Hot Rodding, Car Craft-and Cars magazine that featured power-building tech articles by these guys. His 421 had #670 heads off a '67 GTO. These heads had the large 2.11 intake / 1.77 exhaust valves-( which breathed a ton better than the 1.96 / 1.66 "bathtub" heads that '59-66 389 / 421 engines had ). He also swapped the "068" cam for the hotter RAIII grind ( 301 / 313 duration vs 288 / 302 ). With the 1.65 rockers he was using this bumped lift from .414 to .455-almost RAIV specs with 1.5 rockers. The intake was port matched to the gasket and all three carbs were custom-jetted. The exhaust manifolds were RAIII that were gasket matched and extrude-honed. The torque converter was an L88 'Vette unit that netted much more stall speed than the stock unit, and the TransGo shift kit would shift at 5,800 rpm flawlessly. With it's 121 inch wheelbase, copius rear overhang and airbags in the rear springs with different pressure in each bag to maximize traction,it launched like a rocket with very little wheelspin. And the 3.90:1 gears kept the 421 pulling like a locomotive through second and third gear. So when I say I beat a guy in a 427 Impala SS or gave my buddys 440 Six-Pack Super Bee a helluva race-I did. That car showed it's taillights to many a "badass" Camaro,Chevelle or Mustang. Mainly because of traction-I was in the passenger seat when dad beat a '56 Ford F100 that had a 454 Chevy in it. My dad's best friends Porsche 911S couldn't beat this "land yahct" in a 0-60 sprint. # 3. My '77 Trans-Am. It was a 403 Olds / TH350 model. However- it had headers and real dual exhaust and a Holley Street Dominator intake manifold. The scoop was opened up can the carb was custom-jetted. The HEI distribitor was custom curved on a Sun machine strictly following Joe Mondello's recommendations. We also changed the plugs from R46SZ-an .080 gap-to R45S a .040 gap plug. Instead of starting to wheeze at 4 grand and being all done in by 4,800 like stock 403s-mine would pull hard to 5,400. I also had a TransGo shift kit that automatically downshifted to low gear below 20 mph. So if I was coming up to a light with a 400 Pontiac T/A or even say a 383 Road Runner and the light turned green and we floored it at 5-20 mph-My car would kick down to 1st gear-and my opponent would be in 2nd. Whose going to accelerate faster? I bought this car in 1983 and drove it until 1987 when I wrecked it. Up against the new 305 IROC-Z's and 302 Mustangs and even L98 'Vettes of the day-especially from a rolling start-my flawlessly tuned "Firechicken" left them all in the dust. Once in a while a Buick Grand National or a '60's GTO or 396 Chevelle would get me-but in four years I won 95% of the "Stoplight Gran Prixs" I got in-and being under 25 years old-rest assured I got in a lot of them. # 4. My 1973 Hurst / Olds. Shortly after buying it-I spun a main bearing. I decided if I had to rebuild the engine-I might as well make it Jules' Wallet. Flat-top forged pistons, a Lunati cam with 224 / 234 ( at .050 ) duration and .496 / .520 lift, hooker headers, a Walker dynomax exhaust system, an Edelbrock Torker intake and MSD ignition setup infused a ton of power into the 455. Swapping the 3.23 gears for 4.10s made it a rocket. The hot cam and single-plane intake actually helped the car launch better-it didn't fry the tires as much- as the stock motor did- but from 3 grand-6,500 it hit like "gangbusters". So when I say I smoked a Turbo Dodge Stealth or an LT1 Camaro or a Buick Grand National-I wasn't saying I did it with a 250 hp 8:1 stock motor!!!  As for the ZZ4 crate motor-Hot Rod ran 12.44 in a Chevelle. Even if my Cutlass was a full second slower than the HR Chevelle-it still runs 13.40's-fast enough to back up my claim of running with new Hemi Chargers and Subaru WRXs.  So now and forever-my bench racing tales were not done with bone-stock cars and the results I claim are not only possible-but probable and true-if you have any racing or tuning experience at all. Mastermind.                

More on building a Pure Stock Drag winner....

A lot of people wanted more info on building a Pure Stock drag car. I aim to please, so here's some more tips. # 1. Engine size. I love this rule. You have to be within 15 cubic inches + or - of the original size. This gives you a lot of leeway, and saves you a ton of money. For example-let's say you want to build a 1962-63 "Super Duty" 421 Pontiac Catalina clone. You don't have to search the galaxy and mortgage your house finding a 421. You could take any 400 Pontiac block-( 15 million were produced between 1967-79 ) bore it .030 over, buy a 4.00 inch stroke rotating assembly cut down to 400 size-( crank, rods, pistons ) from Butler performance or Kaufmann Racing and you'd have a 433 inch Pontiac V8. Within the 15 inches of the original 421. And the original "Type" rule is the gift that keeps on giving. The heads have to be iron, no aftermarket aluminum ones. But that means you could run the plentiful "6X" heads which are the best breathing Pontiac heads except for RA IV's and Edelbrocks-your not confined to the small valve, "bathtub" heads that came on '59-'66 389 and 421 engines. You could run an Edelbrock or Offenhauser dual-quad manifold and two 750 Edelbrock carbs-because the 421 SD had an aluminum 2X4 manifold and ran 2 AFBs. The manifold's are aluminum and we all know the "Performer" carbs are AFB clones. No spending a mint for a "real" SD manifold and vintage AFB carbs. The best part is the cam. Again-it has to be the original "type." That means if your car had a hydraulic cam, then you can't run a solid lifter cam or a roller. But there's no restrictions on lift or duration. Yay!  If your a Ford guy and want to run a '65-68 Shelby GT350 Clone-again-don't search the galaxy for a Hi-Po 225, 271, or 306 hp 289. You could run a Ford SVO 345 hp 302 crate engine. It's within 15 cubes, and has Iron heads. You can run an Edelbrock Performer RPM intake and a 750 Holley carb. Again-original "type" it doesn't have to be a Shelby Manifold and vintage 715 cfm Holley. If you want to run a big-block Mustang, Galaxie or Fairlane you don't have to sell your soul for a 427 or a 428. Millions of 390s were used from 1961-76, and their still plentiful in junkyards. Many-especially the pre-74 truck blocks can be safely bored .080 over. With a custom crank with a little extra stroke-this gives you 415 inches-within the rules. "Thunderbolt" clone-fine-run dual quads and a solid cam. Mach 1 or GT500 clone? An Edelbrock Performer RPM intake and 750 Holley will work. Doesn't have to be a factory CJ intake and ultra-rare 735 cfm Holley. A hot setup for Mopar guys is to take a 400 block and put a stroker crank in it to get 451 cubes. Hey-your within the 15 inch rule of the 440 that was optional in your Charger or Road Runner or whatever, right? If you built a stompin' 451 for say a '74 Charger-you could run a remanufactured 1000 cfm Thermo-Quad on it-same "Type" remember? # 2. Transmissions. The same-"type" rule applies here. This gives you some lattitude to push the limit of the rules. For example-Most small-block Novas and Camaros had "Saginaw" 4-speeds. The Muncies were reserved for Z/28s and big block cars. The "Standard" Saginaw 4-speed has a 2.54 1st gear and 1.61 2nd. However the version used in '75 and later Vegas,Monzas,Skyhawks,Sunbirds, etc-had a 3.11 1st gear and a 2.28 second. This gives you a lot more mechanical advantage off the line, and through 2nd gear without changing your final drive ratio. By the time you hit third, the car's going 60 or 70 mph anyway and gear multiplaction doesn't matter that much. The big "drop" to third gear won't be that much. Some BW T10 4-speeds have a 2.20 or a 2.43 low gear and a 1.52 2nd. There are optional versions-that you can buy from Summitt-that have either a 2.88 1st and a 1.91 2nd, or a 3.44 1st and a 2.28 2nd. The downside is they only have something like a 375 lbs ft torque rating so they won't stand up to big-blocks. However-if you have a small-block car-i.e. a high-winding 302,327 or 350 Chevy-this might help you. And if you drive the car at all you can run an axle ratio between 2.73 and 3.42-and have the best of both worlds. It'll launch like you have 4.11:1 or 4.56:1 gears in low and second, but you'll still have reasonable cruising rpm on the freeway. # 3. Gears make it go. You can run any axle ratio you want. But you have to match the gears to your motor and valvesprings. 4.88:1 gears in a '77 Trans Am that starts wheezing at 5,000 rpm isn't going to do any good. Especially with big block cars-err on the conservative side. A guy with a 454 Chevelle ran a 12.80 with 3.08:1 gears and only ran 12.40 with 4.11s because the motor was built for max torque-it couldn't rev enough to take full advantage of the stiffer gears. # 4. Never under estimate your opponent. A buddy of mine lost a ton of money betting on his 440 Road Runner that got smoked by a 302 Maverick. It looked like a mis-match-an econobox tugging on Superman's cape? But this gutted Maverick weighed about 2,600 lbs, had a TCI prepped C4 and 4.30 gears and a high-winding 302, and the three-car length holeshot he got on my bud's big bad 440 Mopar that lit up the tires was too much to overcome. Good luck and happy racing. Mastermind  

Tips for a Pure Stock Drag winner.....

Had a guy ask me how I would build a car to be competitive at the pure stock drags. The good thing about this series is you can run anything that was available as an option on that model year car. For example if you want to stuff a Mopar Performance 426 Crate Hemi into a '71 Charger and run it, you can. It doesn't have to be a numbers-matching Hemi car. Or if you have a six-cylinder, three-speed '69 Nova-you can swap in a 350 and a 4-speed, because that combination was optional that year. On the other hand-you can't put a 455 in a '68 GTO-the largest engine available that year was a 400. The other good thing is carbs and intakes can be the original "type." In other words a '70 Z/28 can run with a 3310 Holley, but it doesn't have to have 1970 date codes-it can be a new or rebuilt one you bought at Summitt Racing last week. Ditto for manifolds. You can buy a "Six-Pack" manifold from Edelbrock and run it on a '69 Super Bee-it doesn't have to have 1969 date codes or a Chrysler part number stamped on it. This helps keep costs down. The other way it helps is for example if you have a '77 Trans-Am with a 400 Pontiac-you know the '75-79 intakes have a restrictive throttle opening that really limits power above 4,500 rpm. You can run the earlier '67-74 manifold that will allow the engine to pull hard to 5,800-6,000 rpm because it's the same "type"-a cast iron intake that mounts a quadrajet. Any how-here's my tips on building a winner. # 1. Choose your model year carefully as this has a big impact on the engines you can run. For example if you want to run a big-block Chevelle-it might behoove you to run a '72 model instead of a '69. The reason-you can run a 454 in the '72. The largest engine available in 1969 was a 396. All other things being equal-obviously the 454 is going to run much faster than a 396. Ditto for Pontiac Firebird owners. You can run a 455 in a '76 Trans-Am or a '74 Formula but a 70 T/A or Formula would be limited to a 400. However-in some instances it works the other way. For example you could run a 428 in a '69-'70 Mustang, but in a '72-73 you'd be limited to a 351C. You could run a 396 in a '68-70 Nova, but you'd be limited to a 350 in a 71-74 model. You can run a 440 or a 426 Hemi in a '70-'71 Challenger or 'Cuda, but you'd be limited to a 340 / 360 in '72-'74 models. However-having the larger engine options isn't the be all and end all. A light '69 Cutlass with a 350 built to W31 specs  with a 4-speed and 4.33:1 gears is going to be quicker than a '73 442 with a 455, a TH400 and 3.23:1 gears. A stripped-down '69 383 Road Runner will run quicker than a 5-mph bumper laden-heavy '73 Charger with a 440. So choose your model / engine / trans combo carefully. # 2. All other things being equal-always build the lightest car you can. For example-a 396 Nova is going to run quicker than a 396 Chevelle simply because a Nova is about 600 lbs lighter. A 340 Duster is going to run faster than a 340 Road Runner. In fact a lighter car with a smaller engine may run faster than a bigger brother. For example-a light, 3,400 lb '65 GTO with a 335 hp 389, a 4-speed and 3.55:1 gears will run faster than a 4,070 lb 1971 GTO with a 335 hp 455, a 4-speed and 3.31:1 gears. A 2,800 lb '66 Mustang with a Hi-Po 271 hp 289 will run faster than a 3,660 lb '72 Mach 1 with a 266 hp 351C-even though all 4 cars technically have the same amount of power. # 3. I love powershifting a 4-speed as much as the next guy. However-the key to winning is consistency-and I don't care who you are-an automatic with a stall converter and a shift kit is going to launch better and run more consistent e.t.'s. The auto is going to launch and shift at exactly the same rpm every time. No one's that good with a clutch and shifting. We all fry the tires off the line occasionally, or miss a shift here and there which can easily cost you a race. If you have a stick-shift car and want to race it-by all means have fun. I'm just saying that hard-core racers will tell you-automatics are more consistent. Which brings up....# 4. Traction. A ton of horsepower doesn't do you any good if you can't put it to the ground. 60 foot times are critical, and especially big-block cars-even with an automatic can fry the tires off the line. So get a limited-slip rear end, and you may have to play with wheel offsets to fit the largest tires you can in the stock wheelwells, and play with shocks and springs to get the best combination for traction. You have to decide how hardcore you want to be. For example-your '78 Z/28 with subframe connectors, drag radials, "Trick" front springs, and 90 / 10 shocks, may launch like a Pro Stocker, but you won't be playing "Cat and Mouse" up a curvy country road with some guy in a stock suspension Trans-Am or Mustang GT. Your sacrificing a lot of real-world good handling for dragstrip grip. # 5. Tuning. Ignition timing and Carb Jetting can be crucial. Bad tuning can cost you as much as 50 hp. Where the track is can affect this. A car that runs great at sea level may be over-rich at 5,000 feet. # 6. Driving technique. You have to play with launch rpm, and shift points to see which nets you the fastest times. A friend with a "5.0" Mustang ran a 15.20 dropping the clutch at 3 grand, frying his tires and powershifting at 5,700 rpm. He ran a 14.72 by slipping the clutch at 1,800-2,200 rpm, walking it off the line, and short-shifting at 5,000 rpm. And depending on the engine's torque curve you may run faster shifting gears at different rpms. For example my brother's GTO has a TH400 that shifts automatically at 5,800 rpm. However he runs his fastest e.t.s by manually shifting it at 6,200 rpm 1-2, and 6,500 rpm 2-3. My 403 Olds-powered '77 T/A would pull to 5,400 rpm- ( it had headers and a Holley Street Dominator intake ) but it ran the fastest e.t.s when I shifted at 4,900 rpm 1-2, and 4,400 rpm 2-3, because of the lazy stock "smog" cam that made massive low-end torque-325 lbs ft at 1,600 rpm-but dropped off drastically above 4,000. Now if I'd had a hotter cam-it probably would have run faster by shifting at 5,500. See what I'm saying?  Anyhow-if you want to run the Pure Stock drags-these are good tips. Mastermind