More "A$%^oles of the Month"......

Hustler magazine used to have a column titled "Asshole of the Month" where they would make fun of people like the politician that railed against gay marriage and then got caught trying to pick up a guy in an airport bathroom, or the woman who founded M.A.D.D. ( Mothers Against Drunk Drivers ) who took a six-figure sales job with Seagram's, or the gun-control advocate who shot an intruder in his house with a unregistered handgun. These people richly deserve the derision they get. As do some of the people I get crap from, over stuff I posted 3 or 4 years ago!!  Anyhow-for the millionth time-I don't "hate" modern cars or their powertrains. Last year I tried to buy a Roush Mustang with a 674 hp, supercharged, "Aluminator" 5.0 Coyote. I couldn't swing the loan, but I damn sure would have loved to have had that car!!  I love driving my friend's 2016 650 hp ZO6 Corvette. My brother is considering buying a Hellcat Challenger. These new muscle cars are totally awesome, and if you can afford one, by all means buy one before the EPA and the safety Nazis find a way to outlaw them. And for ther millionth time, If you want to put an LS engine in a beater LeMans, or a 5.7 / 6.1 / 6.4 Hemi into a beater Duster or Satellite, or a Ford Coyote into a beater Mustang or Cougar no one cares!! Have fun!!  I just cringe when some idiot does it to a numbers-matching Judge, or a for-real, Six-Pack Super Bee, or a Shelby GT350!! And-yes I have seen these exact swaps in magazines or for sale in Hemmings or on the internet!!  Forget the monthly award, or a yearly award-Here's some winners of the "Asshole of the Century" award.  #1. This car was featured in two different buff magazines. This clown bought a one of 458 ever built, show-quality 455HO / 4-speed, 1972 Trans-Ams and butchered the body and interior, and put an LS engine and a six-speed automatic in it!!  Now why couldn't he have bought any one of the millions of beater 1970-81 Camaros and Firebirds out there and used that?  Or if he HAD to have a Trans-Am-he couldn't buy one of the nearly 300,000 built from 1977-79 and fuck that up? No it had to be one of 1,286 '72 models ever made!! ( The other 828 were automatics ). Hell-why didn't he buy one of the 252 SD-455 '73 models or one one of the 88 1970 RAIV models??!!!   # 2. This car was also featured in several buff magazines. This guy should have been dragged out into the street and shot and his house burned to the ground. He bought a pristine, numbers matching, show-quality 1963 Fuel-Injected, 327, 4-speed, Split-Window Corvette and gutted it, put a roll cage in it, a 454 with a Tunnel-Ram backed by a TH400 with a trans-brake, and a narrowed 9 inch Ford rear and 33 inch slicks for a "Pro Street" theme!!!  Again-he couldn't have bought one of the millions of small-block '68-82 'Vettes out there that no one cares about and butchered that? Or if he "Had" to have the '63-67 body-there was a Kit Car company selling 1963 "Gran Sport" replica bodies that fit on to the '68-82 chassis, or he could have bought a beater '64-67 model and people wouldn't have been nearly as pissed off.  But a numbers-matching, fuelie, Split-Window??  Again-the only thing worse might have been a for-real fuel-injected '57 'Vette, or maybe one of the 116 '69 L88 models!!!  # 3. This guy pissed off GM and Ford Guys alike, by putting a 389 Pontiac engine into a pristine '57 T-Bird!!  Yes, it was faster than the ancient 312 "Y-Block".  If he wanted more performance he couldn't have at least went with a 390 Ford??  Or a 302 / 351W / C4 combo?  # 4. This guy managed to get TWO groups of enthusiasts storming his house with torches-musclecar guys and import tuners alike-because he managed to slaughter not one, but TWO sacred cows!!. This genius put the engine and drivetrain out of a 1998 Toyota Supra Turbo into a 1967 Camaro!!  And he really couldn't understand why everyone wanted to kill him!!  # 5. This dope spent $250,000-that's not a typo-I didn't mean 25K-were talking a quarter million-building a 1970 Chevelle with a Duramax Turbo Diesel engine and Allison transmission out of a modern GMC Truck!!!  Why??  I think the question should be-like the puppet dictator in "Team America" asked-"Why is everybody so F%^kin' Stupid??"  Or why specifically are American Car enthusiasts so willing to butcher classic Iron!!  I've said it before-you never see a 1967 Jaguar XKE with the engine and tranny out of a 2012 XKR or a 1969 Porsche 911S with the powertrain out of a 2014 Carrera 4, or a 1971 Datsun 240Z with the drivetrain out of a 2010 370Z!!. You don't see a 1957 Harley-Davidson Sportser with the fuel-injected engine and six-speed out of a 2011 Softail, or a 1973 Kawasaki Z1 with the powertrain out of a 2012 ZX-14 Ninja, or a 1969 Honda CB750 with the engine and tranny out of a 2005 CBR!!  You don't go to a gun show and see a WWII vintage Colt .45 with Laser Sights on it!!  So if you want to put a Supercharged "5.0" Coyote into a '71 Maverick, go ahead!!  But please don't do it to one of the 1,806 "Boss 351" Mustangs ever made!!  Are we finally clear on this issue? Mastermind