Sunday, April 16, 2017

"The Fate of the Furious"...should be..."No more, Please!!"

Took my 13 year old nephew to see the "Fate of the Furious" and even he said the action had too much CGI and was way over the top, and that they need to quit. The old saying-"Out of the mouths of babes.." is true. They should have quit three movies ago. The 4th one was alright with Dom and Brian ( the late Paul Walker ) going to Mexico to avenge Letty's murder. The car action was mostly do-able. The fifth one was unnecessary-and them dragging the safe through the streets of Brazil was a little over the top. 6 and 7 were awful. Paul Walker died in a car wreck before the 7th film was finished, and they should have just scrapped it. They didn't, and since it grossed a gazillion dollars-we knew an 8th installment was inevitable. I just can't buy into it. First off-how did "Dominic Toretto" ( Vin Diesel ) morph from street racing thug into James Bond?  In the last three movies-Hobbs- ( Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson ) and then "Mr Nobody " ( Kurt Russel ) recruit him and his buddies to save the world from terrorists and master criminals and nuclear disasters. Really? The FBI, the CIA, Homeland Security, and the entire U.S. Military is helpless-but Diesel and his crew can stop these international criminal masterminds? Puhleeze. And wait-Dom and Brian went and killed the drug dealer "Braga" in F&F 4 because his henchmen had killed Letty ( Michelle Rodriguez ) Dom's longtime love. But wait-she re-appears in F&F 6 with the soap-opera theme-she wasn't dead, she had amnesia and couldn't remember who she was!! So now she and Dom are married and having their honeymoon in Cuba. This is where "Cypher" ( Charlize Theron with hair extensions-why she needed them is beyond me-she's smokin' hot regardless of hairstyle ) recruits Dom to do dirty deeds with something that she has on her cell-phone. It's never explained who she is or where she came from, or why she's a master computer hacker that wants to steal nuclear weapons. So Dom turns on his friends and helps her steal a nuclear device, leaving the Rock to go to jail-that's never explained-he's a hotshot FBI agent with a high security clearance and he was asked to steal the device before Cypher could get it! Dom also steals launch codes from a Russian diplomat because-surprise-remember the hot Brazilian cop that he had an affair with in F&F 5 and most of 6, before cruelly dumping her for the back-from-the-dead, amnesiac Letty? Guess What? Cypher has her and her maybe 6 month old baby hostage-and the baby is Dom's!!  Huh? F&F 5 was released in 2011, and F&F 6 was released in 2012. F&F 7 was being filmed in 2013 when Paul Walker died, and they re-shot some scenes and delayed the release from 2014 to 2015. Anyhow-the kid would be five or six years old at least-unless Dom was cheating on Letty with his former flame-who in F&F 7-they implied she was having a relationship with the Rock!! Remember him shielding her and crashing out the window after he and Jason Statham had their big fight??!!  So he goes to New York to rip off launch codes for the nuclear device. This scene is ludicrous-Cypher can hack into cars and make them drive themselves!!! So she remotely causes about a hundred car wrecks, even dropping cars out of tall parking garages to derail the Russians' motorcade. Dom's buddies show up to try to stop him,-including Jason Statham-who was the villian in #7-but is now working with the good guys- and Letty takes the briefcase with the launch codes and runs. Because Dom didn't shoot his own wife, Cypher kills the hot Brazilian girl and threatens to do the baby if Dom crosses her again. Next they go to Russia to steal a nuclear submarine-where again-where in the hell is the Russian Military, the U.S. Military, NATO forces, etc-the Rock and the rest of Dom's pals have this cars vs trucks, snowmobiles, and planes, and yes-the submarine on the frozen Tundra of remote Russia. Dom and crew save the day, and everyone lives happily ever after. And Letty happily welcomes this baby that he had with the other woman!! Right. The first 4 were ok with the street racing being funded by electronics theft and drugs, etc. But now-what's next "Furious in Outer Space??"  The sad thing is-if this stinker grosses 100 million or more-which it probably will-that means there will be an F&F 9 and 10!! God, I hope not.  Mastermind    

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