Loud Doesn't equal fast!!

You'd be amazed at the number of people that think just because something sounds nasty, and smokes the tires, that it's really fast. Here's a couple of funny stories proving the opposite. I had an auto repair shop for years, and it was located, of course, near other auto shops. I got to know a few of the guys who owned and worked in these other shops. One guy had a 1968 Nova that had a warmed over 350 and a 4-speed in it. He had a Tunnel Ram with dual 465 Holley 4bbls sticking through the hood, and it sounded like a NASCAR stocker. He was always spinning the wheels and bragging about how fast it was. A buddy of mine had a nicely restored 1971 Plymouth Road Runner with a 440 4bbl in it. He had rebuilt the engine, but to stock specs-i.e.- a replacement Mopar Performance 440 Magnum cam, new rings and bearings, etc. It didn't even have headers on it-he was running stock exhaust manifolds and a stock-type replacement dual exhaust system. He did have an Edelbrock Performer Intake Manifold and matching Thunder AVS carb, but it was otherwise dead stock. The trans was a rebuilt 727 Torqueflite, and he had 3.55 rear end gears. The guy in the Nova challenged him to a drag race one day, and we all adjourned to a local side street that was a little more than a 1/4 mile, never had any traffic, and that the cops rarely, if ever patrolled. Every mechanic in town used it to make full-throttle runs in anything we were working on. To the utter surprise of the Nova driver and all his friends, the Road Runner beat the Nova off the line, and then completely walked away. It wasn't even a race. Here's why. The Road Runner may have been stock, but it was in perfect tune, and had the right combination of parts. The Nova had way too much cam and carburation, and instead of the 4.56:1 gears it needed to go with the over-cammed and over-carburated engine, it had 3.08:1 gears!  Another guy in this group had a 1972 Mach 1 Mustang with a 351 Cleveland that he thought was fast. Again, it was the wrong combination. He had an Old-style Edelbrock Torker intake-the ones that are dogs below 4 grand, not the late-model Torker II that are decent from 2500 on-and a 750 Double-Pumper Holley carb. It to had a big cam,and headers. It also had an automatic and 3.25:1 gears. Now we all know that 351C-4V engines are notorioulsy down on low-end torque because of the huge head ports. Ford fans agree that the 2V heads are better for street use. Now add a hot cam and a single-plane intake that also kills bottom-end, a stock torque converter, and high ( low numeric ) gearing, and you have a recipe for disaster. This Mustang was probably faster in stock trim, although it did sound mean as hell. He challenged me and my Hurst / Olds. At that time, my car had 4.10:1 gears in it, a 2,400 rpm Hurst "Shotgun" torque converter, ( this was after I grenaded the 455 for the 4th time, but that's another story ) and a Brand-New, 355 hp 10:1 compression, aluminum-headed, roller cammed, GMPP ZZ4 / 350 Chevy Crate motor in it. Blasphemy, I know, but that's what was in the car at the time. Anyone who's driven a GM car with a ZZ4 knows how strong they are. They make 405 lbs of torque at 3,500 rpm, but what makes them awesome is they also make 350 lbs ft or MORE of torque from 2000-5200 rpm. Perfect for a heavy car like a Cutlass. Needless to say, I blew his doors off, and he was shocked. I also flabbergasted a friend who had a warmed-over 454 Monte Carlo. He couldn't believe he'd gotten beat by a "Small-block" Cutlass. I tried to console him with the facts that my "small-block" wasn exactly stock, and that my 4.10 gears gave me quite an advantage off the line over the 2.73s his car was packing. He was still crushed.  Anyhow, just because a car is loud and smokes the tires, doesn't mean it's fast.  Mastermind