Saturday, March 17, 2012

Were all "Car Guys" so why don't we act like grown-ups?

A musician friend told me that he can't stand talking to idiots who say things like "The Beatles Suck" or "The Rolling Stones suck", or "Country music is crap."  "These people think their being hip or cool, but they don't realize that they sound like a complete moron." "How many of the Beatles or Stones songs credit Lennon / Mcartney or Jagger / Richards as the writer?" "Almost all of them." "That means they wrote the words and the music and made it a hit." "That's a lot harder than just singing a song some great songwriter wrote with a studio band and because you had good promotion now you've got a hit." "Justin Bieber is not Little Richard or Stevie Wonder." "Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood are not Loretta Lynn or Dolly Parton." "You may say you don't like Alan Jackson or Toby Keith's style, but don't say they don't have talent." "Again, they wrote the words and the music and made them hits." "Make fun of Elvis and Tom Jones and their Vegas-ness all you want, but God himself won't allow anyone else to do "My Way" or "She's a Lady." "Speaking of which, can you believe candy-ass Paul Anka wrote both of those badass songs?"  He was right, and I thought of how stupid car guys act and talk sometimes. I mean if I see one more Dodge Pickup with a decal of Calvin ( From the Comic strip "Calvin and Hobbes" ) pissing on a Chevy logo, I'm going to vomit day-glow. Ditto for a Chevy anything with a "Friends don't let friends drive Fords" bumper sticker. When you say stuff like "Chevys suck" or "Fords are junk." You sound ignorant. My dad is a gearhead and he liked Pontiacs. When I was a kid he had a Tri-Power 1959 Catalina, then later a 1964 GTO, and a 1965 Tri-Power 421 2+2.  I remember begging him to buy a Yellow 400, 4-speed 1967 Firebird convertible, but he didn't want to trade off the '65. So naturally, I liked Pontiacs. My first car was a 1969 GTO Judge. (Was my dad cool or what? ) I remember going with my dad to order his 400, 4-speed WS6 1978 Trans-Am in March 1978, and trying along with the salesman and my mom to get him to buy the DKM-prepped "Macho T/A" they had on the showroom. ( Mom had good taste in cars too.) He ordered his, his way, and waited six weeks for it. I loved Pontiacs, but I also liked my best friend's 1970 SS396 Chevelle, and my neighbor's 390 1967 Cougar,and another friend's 440 / Six-Pack Super Bee. I thought my uncle's triple white 1970 Charger R/T was awesome, and I wanted a white Challenger for years after seeing "Vanishing Point". My mom and I were both pissed when her brother sold his Hugger orange 1970 Mustang to someone else. Before we got the Judge, I had convinced my dad, a die-hard GM man, to co-sign for me to buy my dream vehicle at the time,-Gasp!- a 1979 Dodge Li'l Red Express Pickup. He was actually going to help me buy a Dodge!! Then we went on vacation, saw the Judge for sale, and the Little Red truck was forgotten. The point I'm making is, yes your entitled to your automotive preferences, but don't make fun of other peoples. I like to buy American most of the time, but if I was buying a sports car right now-I'd get a Nissan 370Z. For 32K they offer cool styling, great handling, 332 hp, and do 0-60 in like 5 seconds and the 1/4 in 13.4. Even a Porsche Boxster or Cayman at twice the price isn't any faster. A base model 'Vette is quicker, but try to buy one for under 50K. If I could find a good deal on a used one-( They don't make them anymore ) I'd also love to have a Mazda RX-8. They only have 232 hp, but they only weigh about 2,600lbs, the transmission is slick-shifting, and the motor will rev to 9 grand. They are an absolute blast to drive. My brother loves his 69 GTO and he also loves his BMW 5 series. A true gearhead appreciates great performance and engineering regardless of the nameplate on it. Yet at shows, here's the Chevy guys, the Mopar guys, the Ford guys, all separate, all glaring at each other, like that David Allan Coe classic- "You'd never come to see me in this dive." "Where bikers, stare at cowboys, who are laughing at the hippies, who are praying they'll get out here alive." Come on guys, for the sake of the sport of hot-rodding, let's quit squabbling over who's brand name is best and just appreciate the great cars, old and new. Mastermind.       

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