Tuesday, June 11, 2013

I want believable action....Not physically impossible CGI.....

I knew it-a bunch of people asked me why couldn't I just enjoy Fast & Furious 6 as a mindless action flick? Because almost none of the action was believable. I have to plagiarize Kurt Russel in "Death Proof"-"I long for the Vanishing Point Days, the Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry days-when you had great men doing great things with great cars. "Bullitt" is exciting to this day more than 40 years later-because Stunt drivers Cary Loftin, Steve McQueem, and Bill Hickman were actually going 115 miles per hour through the streets of San Francisco. No speeding up the camera, just raw action. You can forgive them passing the same VW three times or the Charger losing 8 hubcaps, because the rest of it is so raw and viscereal.  In "Vanishing Point" Carey Loftin ( subbing for star Barry Newman ) actually jumped that creek in one of the five Challengers they had. The only modifications he made to the car were cranking up the torsion bars and installing heavy-duty Koni shocks. In the blaze of glory finale-when Kowalski drives into the bulldozers- If you look real close at the wreckage-you can see the car that blew up at the end was a Camaro; but the fact remains-they actually ran a car into the bulldozers at high speed. ( Loftin towed a junk Camaro that had explosives under the hood behind the camera car toward the dozers at 100 mph and had a quick release-tow cable ). It wasn't computer generated bullshit. When the Pontiac Ventura rear-ended the semi in the "Seven-Ups" while chasing the black Grand Ville-they actually did it. Those '72 LTD's-most of the cop cars and Burt Reynolds' "Whiskey Runner" didn't corner too well-but they were actually bouncing down those country roads and flying over the bumps in "White Lightning." Except for the bridge jump-Burt Reynolds and Director / Stunt coordinator Hal Needham actually did all the Trans-Am's stunts in "Smokey and the Bandit". They totalled 10 T/A's in filming. It's said that during the 1979-85 run-"The Dukes of Hazzard" totaled 216 '68-70 Chargers doing stunts. It may not have always looked pretty-but they were actually doing it. Now with CGI their just putting a video game on screen. The same with fight scenes and martial-arts movies. Jet Li-jumps six feet in the air, rotates his body clockwise, kicks three guys in the face, does a backflip, and lands on his feet ( Romeo Must Die ). That's believable. I personally like Jason Statham as an actor and he's a gifted athlete; I've read about his grueling workout routine. But some of the stuff in the "Transporter" movies either in the fight scenes or with the cars is literally, physically impossible!! Like Jumping the BMW onto the truck or the Audi onto the train. Why does everybody have to be "The Matrix?" That was ok, it was supposed to be an alternate reality where anything is possible. But in these other movies they want you to believe the hero can run up walls and fly through the air. At least if Chuck Norris, or Jean-Claude Van Damme, or even Jackie Chan did something, it might have looked inelegant, but you knew they were really doing it. Now,-the crap they do-it can't be done, we know it can't be done, we know the actor / stuntman isn't doing it, so why put it on screen?  Is the target audience 12 year old boys?  I like a good action flick as much as the next guy-but it's got to be somewhat believable. The first "Die Hard" was about as far as you can go. After that they got stupid. Remember Lethal Weapon 2?  Where Mel Gibson pulls the house off the cliff with a Chevy truck??!!  A million-dollar beach house in California, who has the strictest building codes in the nation, where everything has to be "Earthquake Proof", and some asshole can pull the house OFF IT'S FOUNDATION with a pickup and not even break the axle or the tranny on the truck!!!!  Oh yeah, that's possible!!!  Here's a novel idea guys-how about write an interesting, original story, and have plausible action instead of relying on a gazillion dollars of special effects?  An example-I saw "Mud" starring Matthew Mconaghy as a fugitive that's helped by some junior-high kids. Matt was awesome as a dangerous, slightly unhinged predator obsessed with trailer-part slut Reese Witherspoon. Strutting around braless in a tank-top, barefoot in "Daisy Duke" shorts, showing her tattoos, she played the southern "Trailer Park Barbie" flawlessly-even topping Jennifer Billingsley in "White Lightning" for sheer white-trash tramp, that's both disgusting and sexy at the same time. Sam Shepherd was excellent as Mud's only friend who knows what a loser he is, but helps him evade the law and death anyway. The finale is exciting, and surprising. And guess what? No explosions, no running up walls, no cars chasing airplanes, just great storytelling and believable action. That was a satisfying movie experience that we need more of.  Not big-budget CGI contests. Mastermind      

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