You don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't spit into the wind...Or "So many A#$%oles, so few bullets"....

Here's an annoying phenomenon that I'm sure everyone who drives a musclecar has experienced. Everyone wants to race you or keep you from passing them. And I don't mean just other musclecars or sports cars, I mean EVERYONE. It's maddening because yes, when I was driving my Hurst / Olds, or my Trans-Am, or my 400 Powered Ventura, or my brother's GTO, etc I would gladly risk a big speeding ticket to put a "5.0" Mustang driver or Dodge Charger driver in their place. Ditto for those arrogant 'Vette drivers, and Nissan 350Z owners, Mazda RX-7 owners and especially 3 and 5 series BMW owners. I'd do it because it was fun, and it was fun because those people are used to winning 99% of the "Stoplight Gran Prix's" they initiate,and I got great joy seeing their eyes widen and jaws drop as I passed them. I have no problem with these people, because their cars are actually fast, and like me their just enjoying their car's performance whether they win or lose. The ones I hate are every thing else. Let me explain, and I'll even break them into groups. # 1. Import subcompact drivers. I'm not talking about Subaru WRX's, ( Which again-are actually freaking fast ). And spare me the "Fast&Furious" rap about 11 second Honda Civics and Nissan Sentras. I have never in my life run across one. But I have run across thousands of VW Jettas, Honda Civics, Nissan Sentras,and Toyota Corrolas with lowered suspensions, fat tires, and exhaust systems that sounds like a broken chainsaw. These people make New York Cab drivers look like safety instructors. They blast from light to light at full-throttle, and cut traffic mercilessly pissing everyone off in their wake. Except their cars aren't fast. One punk with a Honda Civic that worked at the Autozone store I worked at was always challenging my Hurst / Olds to a race. Until the night I blew his doors off in a drag race from a light in my wife's 318 Jeep Cherokee!!!  He was crushed when he reverently said "I had no Ideas those Jeeps were that fast." and I responded-"Sorry to burst your bubble Ringo-the Jeep isn't that fast-your econobox is slow." Another little asshole in my neighborhood drove a VW Corrado with a supercharged V6. Every day for like a month he'd have to blow by my H/O either on a city street or on the freeway and blow the horn and cut me off as he did it. Finally one day I pulled up next to him at a light that turned left and went onto the freeway. Once I stopped smoking my tires and got straight on the on-ramp I put the hammer down. 455 cubes responded and as I pulled even with him the TH400 laid about 30 feet of rubber into 2nd gear and I gave him the "finger" as I pulled away. I kept my foot in it until 5,700 rpm in high gear which with the 3.23 gears was something like 138 mph. Needless to say I smoked him by about 10 car lengths. Funny, every time I saw him after that he would drive like a little old lady or act like he didn't see me and turn right. Anyhow these little shits-( Their always males 18-25 years old ) are like flies that land on your face-they won't stop until you squash them. # 2. Penis Compensator Pickup and SUV drivers. These macho assholes are every bit as annoying as the little boys in the wanna-be rice rockets. No, their more annoying because the little boys will just drive away chagrined. Once in a while you'll have to get out and kick one of these guys asses after they "road rage" you and follow you where your going. These traffic bullies don't know physics. Their actually shocked when their 6,000 lb vehicle with 35" inch tires get's it's doors blown off by something with "less" power. The best one was the guy with the crew-cab SRT-10 Dodge Pickup. If you don't know Chrysler stuffed the 500 hp Viper motor into a few pickups a few years ago. He was utterly aghast when my brothers GTO showed him it's taillights. Hmm-you got 500 hp, but in a vehicle that weighs 5,700 lbs. My brother's GTO weighs 3731 lbs, and ( with the Edelbrock Performer RPM package-according to Edelbrock has 422 hp ). Guess what doofus-78 hp can't overcome an extra 2,000 lbs. My other personal favorite was the asshole with a monster F250 Ford Pickup that had a 460 with a tunnel-ram on it that both my 400 '72 Ventura and my buddys hopped up '83 Camaro sucked up and spit out in a 3-way drag race. "I've got ten grand in the motor of this thing!" he whined. Yeah but it weighs 6,400 lbs and has the aerodynamics of the Chrysler building!! Think that makes a difference.....# 3. Soccer moms in SUVs. V8 Cherokees,V8 Ford Explorers, V8 Toyota 4Runners, Turbo Subaru Foresters, Turbo Volvo XC90's, doesn't matter. Why I want to rape and kill these bitches and not in that order is while their going 70 on a city street where the speed limit is 35 to keep you from passing them or going over 100 on the freeway to keep you from getting over-they usually have two or three little kids strapped in child seats in the back seat!!!  If you blew a tire, or someone pulled in front of you at that speed, what's going to happen to your kids you dumb, miserable bitch??!!  # 4. German car owners. We all know BMW stands for "Break My Windows" right?  BMWs, Audis, Mercedes, VW's, they all drive like assholes and act like everyone else should get out of their way immediately, no matter what. Back in the '80's my cousin had a badass Camaro that had a vanity liscence plate that read 911 EATR. The hilarious thing was-once in a while we'd get in an impromptu drag race or game of cat and mouse on the freeway or a curvy road with a 911 driver, and win lose or draw, the 911 guys would usually laugh and gives us a thumbs up or ask us to pull over and shoot the breeze about cars or follow them to a sports bar for a beer. Typical gearheads. However, that plate mortally offended every other German car driver. He would be cut off, passed, blown the horn at and given the finger by every single asshole who drove a Mercedes, BMW, Audi, or VW. Their all dying off now, but I would go 10 miles out of my way to give the finger to a Mercedes or BMW driver with a "Holocaust Survivor" bumper sticker. You know what I'm talking about-if you accepted every challenge you get every day in your musclecar you'd lose your liscence in a month. But every once in a while, you have to smite one of these insects in biblical fashion because they so richly deserve it. Just had to vent that. Mastermind